The Five Minute Primetime Emmy Awards Show

One of the biggest news stories out the morning after Sunday’s 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards was not about the winners, but how no one watched the show.  I was one of those people, but still, here are my thoughts on this year’s winners.

The Comedies

Comedy Series: 30 Rock, NBC.

Lead Actor in a Comedy: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock, NBC.

Lead Actress in a Comedy: Tina Fey, 30 Rock, NBC

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Jeremy Piven, Entourage, HBO.

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Jean Smart, Samantha Who?, ABC.

Directing for a Comedy Series: Barry Sonnenfeld, Pushing Daisies.

Writing for a Comedy Series: Tina Fey, 30 Rock.

30 Rock cleaned up and rightfully so.  With the exception of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 30 Rock is probably the best comedy on television right now, and this is all due to the comedic writing and acting talents of Tina Fey.  Of course, Fey’s performance as Liz Lemon would be nothing without co-star, and fellow winner, Alec Baldwin.  The other nominees just weren’t as good as these two.

In the supporting categories, Jeremy Piven won again for the role of Ari Gold on Entourage.  I disagreed with that decision last year, and while he’s great on the show, I disagree with the decision this year.  I think Kevin Dillon as Drama Chase gives a better, less over-the-top performance than Piven.  Jean Smart picked up an award for her new role on Samantha Who?.  I run hot and cold with the show but her scenes are among the best.  I like to think Vanessa Williams came in a close second place; she was my pick to win.

Directing?  Yeah, Sonnenfeld’s pilot (sorry Pie-lette) for Pushing Daisies was awesome.  It’s Barry Sonnenfeld; we wouldn’t expect less.

The Dramas

Drama Series: Mad Men, AMC.

Lead Actor in a Drama: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad, AMC

Lead Actress in a Drama: Glenn Close, Damages, FX.

Supporting Actor, Drama Series: Zeljko Ivanek, Damages, FX.

Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Dianne Wiest, In Treatment, HBO.

Directing for a Drama Series: Greg Yaitanes, House.

Writing for a Drama Series: Matthew Weiner, Mad Men.

Ok, start the hate mail, I don’t watch Mad Men, but I’ve heard great things from very reliable sources so I’ll feign a “yippee.”  I note, though, that Dexter is underrated, and Boston Legal is tripe that even I won’t watch anymore (especially since Rene Auberjonois left).  Actually, I don’t watch most of the shows nominated in this category so my commentary is limited.  I heard good things about Damages, particularly Glenn Close-provided she doesn’t chew the set up, she’s lovely.  And Dianne Wiest, well she made Edward Scissorhands tolerable and I loved her on Law & Order, so I guess that was right.

The Realities

Reality-Competition Program: The Amazing Race, CBS.

Reality-Competition Host: Jeff Probst, Survivor, CBS.

When I’ve caught The Amazing Race, I liked it, and I’ve watched only one episode of Dancing With the Stars (last night’s premiere-Cloris Leachman and all).  American Idol doesn’t need a bigger ego swell, which leaves the two shows I do watch: Project Runway and Top Chef.  Editing and fabricated drama alone suggests these two need to get some awards.  For holding the show together during last season’s Paula meltdown, Ryan Seacrest should have won a lifetime achievement award, or at least best host.

The Minis/MOTMs

Miniseries: John Adams, HBO.

Made-for-TV Movie: Recount, HBO.

Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Paul Giamatti, John Adams, HBO.

Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Laura Linney, John Adams, HBO.

Supporting Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Tom Wilkinson, John Adams, HBO.

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Eileen Atkins, Cranford (Masterpiece Theatre), PBS.

Directing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special: Jay Roach, Recount.

Writing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special: Kirk Ellis, John Adams.

Well, we loved John Adams, didn’t we?  Yes, we did.  Everyone who won for it deserved it, and everyone who made it through the entire miniseries deserved their own awards.  While watching, I couldn’t help but recall the first roles I saw Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney play: “Pig Vomit” from Private Parts and “Meryl Burbank” from The Truman Show, respectfully.  Watch the series again and think of those characters-it’s very entertaining.  And of Recount, yeah we knew that was going to win, at least as a final “up yours” from Hollywood to the President.  Or at least what people in Hollywood think is an act of bravery and taking a stand.  (Insert a lone, slow clap here.)

P.S. Masterpiece Theatre is still on the air?!?

P.P.S. Who nominated Tin Man?  I couldn’t make it through the first hour without hoping a tornado would destroy my house and take me far away from ideas that should have stayed under the house with the Wicked Witch of the East.

The Varieties

Variety, Music or Comedy Series: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart.

Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program: Don Rickles, Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project.

Directing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program: Louis J. Horvitz, 80th Annual Academy Awards.

Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program: The Colbert Report.

Don Rickles had a new show and I missed it?  Better yet, he’s still alive?  Either way, I need to check this out because nothing’s funnier than ethnic jokes.  No, seriously.  Oh look, another awards show won for directing!  I’m stunned.  I don’t need to comment on The Daily Show or The Colbert Report.  They’re good, they know they’re good, and they certainly don’t need additional commentary from me.

These above categories are what people care the most about, but let’s not forget a few of our lesser Primetime Awards.

Guest Actor in a Comedy Series: Tim Conway, 30 Rock, NBC.  I thought Rip Torn or Will Arnett was better on 30 Rock.  The best part of Conway’s performance was when he bumped into a “giant lesbian” and asked, “Who is Conan O’Brien and why is she so sad?”  At least Jerry Seinfeld wasn’t nominated-his 30 Rock episode stunk.

Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Kathryn Joosten, Desperate Housewives, ABC.  Granted, I didn’t see this (or any) episode of Desperate Housewives but when you’ve got Edie Falco, Carrie Fisher, AND Elaine (underscore!) Stritch as nominees (all for 30 Rock), I can only deduce that the gay mafia was conflicted and split the vote.  This Star Wars-loving, gay Mafioso would have given the award to Carrie Fisher.  (For the same reasons, Diahann Carroll would have won for her guest spot on Grey’s Anatomy.)

Animated Programs: The Simpsons, FOX (half hour) and South Park, Comedy Central (one hour or more).  I stopped watching The Simpsons a few years ago and haven’t looked back (and The Simpsons Movie reinforced this decision).  I like Robot Chicken.  It’s definitely something we haven’t seen before, but I doubt the Academy watches Adult Swim on Cartoon Network.  Now, you’re wondering how South Park, a 30-minute show, could win (or be nominated) for the hour or more category.  Well, they won (rightfully) for the episode “ImaginationLand,” which was a three-part episode.  Check it out.  Also check out the other two nominees; both were very good animated storytelling, with Family Guy managing to retell Star Wars: A New Hope in under an hour.  Take note, George Lucas.

Outstanding Reality Programming: Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, Bravo.  I guess she really didn’t tick off Jesus last year, huh?  More importantly, though, when will MythBusters get the recognition it deserves?

And last, my highlights from the stepchild of the Emmys, the Creative Arts awards.

Costume awards went to John Adams (for a miniseries) and The Tudors (for a series), which pleased my history-loving heart.  Though with The Tudors, the judges must have a great pause feature on their televisions as the clothing usually doesn’t stay on for long.

In the picture editing category, American Idol and Jimmy Kimmel Live tied for best “clip package” for the episodes when David Cook got sent home and something about f—ing Matt Damon, respectively.  I think the judges misunderstood the meaning of “package.”

Pushing Daises won for best dramatic score in a series (Dear Lost, sorry your string section tremolos weren’t creepy enough), Jimmy Kimmel Live‘s “I’m F—ing Matt Damon” won for best original music and lyrics (over everything on Flight of the Conchords), and Pirate Master won for original main title theme music (besting the other failed CBS reality show, Kid Nation).  Did anyone else watch Pirate Master and Kid Nation or just me?  Don’t judge.  Who doesn’t love to see children run around, act like fools, and make stupid decisions when left to their own devices?  And that’s nothing compared to what happened on Kid Nation.

My favorite show, Battlestar Galactica, picked up two wins (or maybe more?  I read the list quickly): for special visual effects and the fourth Razor Featurette (for Short-Format Live-Action Entertainment Programs).  I don’t understand the latter category but I know the show has amazing (and reasonably realistic) special visual effects, such as obscuring the identity of the fifth and final Cylon.

For more thoughts on the 60th Annual Emmy Awards, check out Presidential and VP Impersonators, Other Mad Men Take Home Hollywood Honors by Kaitlyn Edsall

Photographs courtesy of IMDbPro