Weeds: Buns in the Fridge and the Oven

Last week, I asked several questions of Showtime’s Season Four finale of Weeds after an episode pregnant with possibilities.  Let me remind you:

• Will Esteban’s love for Nancy help save her neck?
• Will Quinn return and push Silas’ MILF, Lisa, out of the picture for good

• Will Andy settle down with Doug’s mermex?
• Will Doug ever grow up?

In Monday night’s finale, all these questions were answered and more – and some in ways even the most clairvoyant among us couldn’t have seen coming.  Let’s jump right in, shall we?

I’ll break the shock for you right away, Doug didn’t grow up.  For a startling moment, I thought maybe he had.  After sending Maria, his mermex, away with the INS, Andy confronted Doug and shamed him.  In response, Doug wrote a letter to his wife, which was sorrowful, thoughtful, packed with regret.  I thought, am I high or is Doug actually growing up?  Then he grabbed a noose.  Just when I was starting to like him again?  And then Doug signed off his letter to his wife with a not-so-repentant string of obscenities, and, well, let’s just say the noose was not for hanging himself and leave it at that.  And Doug’s maturity reached a new low.

So what about Andy and the mermex?  Well, my spidey-senses were wrong there.  No wedding bells rang for Andy, but Doug set off a different alarm when he accused Andy of loving Nancy.  How have I never picked up on this before?  It’s so obvious, and it’s clear it really is how Andy feels.  So now Andy’s in love with his brother’s widow.  How very incestuous of him.

Speaking of family love, Celia headed off to Mexico to find her long-lost daughter, Quinn.  Lo and behold, she was actually played by the same actress (Haley Hudson), and she seemed to be happy with her boyfriend, Rudolpho, and their simple life.  Quinn also seemed to be accepting Celia’s heartfelt apology for being a wickedly horrible mother.  Then Celia’s drink sent her all wonky-eyed.  Turns out, Quinn’s planning on keeping her mother locked up and selling her into slavery unless her father pays a pretty price.  If he doesn’t, she’ll send her back in parts.  Jeez, the apple really didn’t fall far from the wicked tree.  And it looks like Quinn’s back for good (or a few more episodes at least).

But she’s not breaking up Silas and his MILF.  Fortunately they didn’t need any help.  Just minutes before Silas turned a legal 18, Lisa’s ex-husband and young son discovered the couple in the throes of their illegal tryst.  The ex-hubby took pictures for his custody hearing, and Silas bolted – right to the cheese shop where he picked up his pot sandwiches.  Andy decided he’s going to help his nephew buy some land in Mexico and run a low-key operation.  They’re all tired of Nancy’s wild life and they all figure she’s heading for jail or worse.  But it may be young Shane who takes a trip to the big house first, as he stole some of Silas’ pot subs from the freezer and started dealing with his Goth chick groupies in a back alley.  He’s just taking up the family trade.

However, the real question all episode is what’s going to happen to Nancy.  Esteban didn’t want to believe that it was Nancy who ratted out Guillermo and sent Cesar for more proof.  Agent Till discovered his partner had been brutally murdered and threatened to kill everyone Guillermo’s boss (Esteban) loved, and Nancy, too, if she knew who Guillermo’s boss was (still Esteban).  Meanwhile, Cesar got some photos of Till and Nancy chatting, and Nancy’s goose was cooked.  And she knew it.

Esteban called and asked to see her.  Nancy agonized by mulling over her mistakes in the tub, and then confessing her sins to Andy – naked as the day she was born, mind you.  (Andy commented that her breasts were bigger than he thought they’d be.)  Then she drove to the border, forgoing Silas’ birthday dinner, and ordered a basket for him by telephone.  Nancy proceeded to break down while trying to come up with a message for the card and decided on “Thanks for raising yourself these past 18 years.”  (If your heart didn’t break just a bit for Mary-Louise Parker’s desperate mother realizing she could be driving to her death on the birthday of the son she feels she’s failed, you’re as dead inside as Quinn.)

Nancy finally arrives at Esteban’s.  He shows her the picture of her and Agent Till.  The game’s up.  She’s dead.  But Nancy’s got one Hail Mary left.  She reaches into her bag and pulls out a photo of her own.  It’s an ultrasound.  Nancy thinks it’s a boy.

It looks like love is going to save Nancy after all, and season five is filling out quite nicely.  The Botwin boys are all dealing dope from buns in the freezer, Nancy’s got a bun in the oven, and Celia may be sliced and diced by her evil spawn.

Talk about ending on a high.

Weeds returns in 2009 on Showtime

Photographs courtesy of IMDb Pro and Showtime