Entourage: Power Plays & Festive Leis

Sometimes it’s tough recapping an HBO show in a manner appropriate for a mainstream audience. Case in point, this week’s fantastic Entourage. I would love nothing more than to offer a detailed rundown of a major plotline and the episode’s funniest quote, but out of context the FCC might come after me for being a pornographer and a hate criminal. I guess I’ll try my best.

On the flight back to reality from their Hawaiian supermodel getaway, the gang playfully bickers over who gets the one available first class ticket. Turtle gets it, thanks to the good graces of a cabbie who can’t stand Drama’s whining. Turtle winds up sitting next to former Sopranos co-star Jamie Lynn Siegler. They get chummy, have a few drinks, and… here’s where self censorship comes into play.  Just know that the ep’s title is First Class Jerk.

Back in LA, all non-Turtle persons are understandably incredulous, but all discussions of what he may or may not have done are tabled to focus on Ari’s impending job change. At first, Ari’s ready to burn bridges, get the heck out of Dodge, and start collecting his massive new paycheck. But a few words of conviction from the ever steadfast Lloyd help Ari think twice about abandoning his clients. Ari thanks Lloyd with a potently racist backhanded compliment that comes off as hilarious and endearing when delivered by the great Jeremy Piven, but to reproduce it would surely offend most of Asia and all who practice the Jewish faith.

With Ari so understandably distracted, Vince reluctantly takes a meeting with arch-sleazebag Josh Weinstein, who comes bearing the gift of the lead in Frank Darabont’s next movie. Darabont cameos as himself, and wants to discuss putting Vince as the lead not in a movie, but merely in a new TV show. Both parties quickly realize that Josh was lying through his over-whitened teeth to suit his own agenda, so Vince leaves thoroughly disgusted and more appreciative of his bond with Ari.

Ari expresses his desire to turn down the job, only to learn that Amanda is next in line for the job and since the root of this entire debacle, including Alan’s death, ties back to thwarting studio heads with a distaste for Vince, Ari’s back on board. But just when all seems lost at the Miller/Gold agency, Lloyd proclaims “double yippee!” when Ari returns triumphantly from pulling a fast one on Amanda. He turns the job down once again, but only at the price of installing ex-flame, junior exec, and staunch ally Dana Gordon in the top dog spot. Vince keeps an agent, Ari gains a friend in very high places, Lloyd keeps his job, and Smokejumpers is a go!

And in case you were wondering about Turtle, he was totally telling the truth and would probably have a hot, famous, and sexually adventurous new girlfriend if not for Drama’s big mouth. In the words of Turtle, sometimes Drama is just an “old, angry f**k”.

Season 5, Episode 8: First Class Jerk (originally aired October 26, 2008)

For another take on this episode, check out Your Boy Is Back by Tanya Lane.

For more on Entourage, click here.

Sundays at 10pm ET/PT on HBO
Photographs courtesy of HBO