Gossip Girl: Falling for You

In the spirit of the leaves changing in Central Park, this week all of our characters reach new levels of development, laying out an episode of character-driven drama (and silly dialogue) that makes this show the best guilty pleasure on television.

We begin with Bart and Lily telling the kids that the plan is for them to act more like a family, or at least what gazing media types think is a family-to give off a more conservative appearance.  To that end, many rules on dear Serena, Chuck, and Eric.  On the way to school, Serena complains about the new rules to Eric.  She suspects that it’s really Bart behind the new rules, and we get a recap of their mother’s past boyfriends and husbands and how those, er, unions changed the family rules, including one that wanted his step-children to convert to Islam, or at least that’s what so-called high-ranking Republicans have told Colin Powell.

At the Brooklyn breakfast table, Vanessa, the girl in search of a problem, is trying to stop an “evil developer” from tearing down an old bar.  As part of her homeschooling, Jenny the High School Dropout^TM is conscripted by Vanessa into forging signatures on a petition to bolster support for the bar . . . just like ACORN.

Vanessa shows up at St. Jude’s and blackmails Blair into collecting signatures for the petition.  (Recall that Vanessa knows why Jimes really dumped Blair.)  That evening Chuck, defying Bart’s new rules and upset over Nate and Dan’s new “bromance,” has martinis with Blair, where she proposes he seduce and destroy Vanessa to upset Dan as revenge for Dan taking Nate from Chuck.  It’s needlessly complicated so of course Chuck agrees.

The next day Serena and Blair luncheon with Eric and his new boyfriend, Jonathan, and we learn that Eric is bringing Jonathan to the family’s party that night.  I’ll cut to the chase on this PFLAG Family Moment^TM: Serena finds out that Eric disinvited Jonathan but assumes that Bart put Eric up to it.  In actuality, Bart was concerned that Eric might not want to throw a coming out party with the press scheduled to be in attendance.  Serena realizes she’s just been venting her anger toward Lily at Bart.

Moving on to a very special anti-gentrification moment.  Chuck arrives at Vanessa’s protest of two and offers to restore the building if the protesters will not object.  Chuck meets the owner and learns about Joe Kennedy‘s womanizing and rum running in that bar-an honorable or a disgraceful legacy?  You decide.  Either way, Vanessa is impressed and Chuck, momentarily feeling remorseful for what he’s doing to Vanessa, presses on and invites her to the family party that night.

Dan, who’s now on the soccer team with Nate, gets mocked by Jenny because he has “no boyfriends,” no wait, that’s “boy SPACE friends,” right?  Anyway, he calls Nate for some “soccer” in the park.  “Sweet, bro, love it.”  After Dan learns that Nate has been spending every evening in his unfurnished house by himself in a sleeping bag, Dan and Rufus then talk about Dan’s boy problems because “being a friend means giving someone something they need even when they can’t ask for it.”  Rufus wants Dan to rape Nate?!?  No, he wants Dan to invite him to live with them in Brooklyn.  In the end, Nate moves in with the Humphreys.  Frankly, I’d rather live on the floor of an Upper East Side mansion than a Brooklyn loft, but no one in my family is a fugitive…yet.

And of course, the show’s weekly party and sassy fight.  After Bart nixes Chuck’s deal on Vanessa’s building and he yells at Chuck, Vanessa comforts Chuck.  Blair, fueled by jealousy at this point, erases Vanessa’s blackmail evidence and tells Vanessa about her bet with Chuck.  Vanessa goes all Luke “there’s still good in him” Skywalker about Chuck, but Chuck doesn’t step in to side with Vanessa.  Vanessa leaves, and Blair tells Chuck he’s got a one-way ticket on her Va-jay-jay Express^TM.  They start getting hot and heavy when Chuck asks her to say she loves him.  She refuses and vows to never say that to him.  He rejects her and her scarlet lingerie, telling her that he’s done chasing her and that she needs to make the next move.  Nicely played, Mr. Bass.

Meanwhile, Serena is irate with Lily’s newfound attempt at being a good mother and makes a scene in front of the press about how she and Eric got a white Christmas years ago when Lily was dating a coke addict.  Oh no she di’n't!  Yes she did and Serena walks out.  Lily then, with the help of Eric, faces the reality that she was an absent mother-exhibit A: her children gave her a personalized ring tone of “Since U Been Gone.”

While Dan’s looking for Nate, he sees Serena and they’re awkward.  The only consequence was that the two seemed to reconcile a bit, if awkwardly.  I suspect the writers are planting the seeds now of a Serena/Dan reunion.  Bleh.

Back at the Bass/van der Woodsen house the party is over and Lily, Bart, Eric, and Serena are alone together.  Lily apologizes to Eric and Serena for putting her men before them.  They all apologize, and it’s a very Full House kind of moment.  Cut. It. Out.

Season 2, Episode 7: Chuck in Real Life (originally aired October 20, 2008)

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