Project Runway: Finale Part I

My very responsible TiVo was recording the end of America’s Next Top Model, so I missed PR’s introduction and the issuance of the final challenge: to create a wedding dress inspired by the designers’ collections.  Which is good, because what a stupid idea.

So enter on the exit, as Tim and Heidi walk off into the sunset of backstage, and the designers head home to work.  Kenley whines a reminder that the others hate her (and by others, I mean the designers and the audience), and Jerell and Korto get bitchy and talk behind her back.  And in case you’re new, Tim will visit each designer once, to provide guidance and to pimp this season’s Saturn-mobiles.  When they return, the designers will get thrown one last challenge “unexpectedly,” and then face elimination to our final – really final this time! – three.

Of note: Jerell says, “I don’t know what these girls are going to do…with their $8,000, but I’m going to be constructing pure magic.”  First confessional honors usually go to the episode’s eliminated contestant.  Can it be… Jerell?

Four weeks to Bryant Park, and Tim arrives in Little Rock, Arkansas, to meet with Korto in her forested workshop.  Her collection reflects culture and nature, looking “really ethnic without being too ethnic,” while incorporating her own beadwork.  Bright yellows, greens and blues highlight her collection, and Tim points out a sexually shaped dress.  Possibly he calls it a “snatch shot,” but I can’t be sure because I don’t know how to work my captioning.  He asks about her wedding dress (and imagine my shock before I realized this was a requirement – I thought Tim was totally dogging her for her last challenge dress which the judges hated for looking “bridal.”  Oh, no you didn’t, Tim!  Turns out…he didn’t.).  The wedding dress has potential – it’s a champagne color, but right now it’s too “red carpet.”

Korto takes Tim home to meet family and friends, and she plays the drums for him – which was actually very cool – as we listen to Korto’s personal history.  Eventually, I wake back up, and …

Next are Leanne and her boyfriend in Portland, with 3 ½ weeks until Fashion Week.  Leanne’s inspiration came from the waterfront and waves.  Colors appear mostly ocean blues, whites and creams.  The white wedding dress is over-structured with detail, like her violet mess last week.  Tim thinks it lacks cohesiveness with the full collection.

Leanne takes Tim on a tandem bike ride, and Tim looks and sounds like I did when I went rollerblading for the first time last weekend, which is like someone who cannot control their balance and a set of wheels at the same time.  Tim does not take the big fall at the end, as I did.

Three weeks to go, and Tim meets Jerell in LA.  His collection’s point of view is: Evening.  Is that a POV? Another bad sign for Jerell.  He plays up textures as an overall “theme.”  His wedding dress is very avant-garde, a little asymmetrical, with over the top beading.  I kind of like the dress, aside from the wings that seem to be flying forward out of the boobs.  Tim says his dresses have “a lot of look,” and Jerell should start thinking about editing.

We meet Jerell’s family and friends, listen to more personal history and … wake up, audience!

Because, finally, with 2 ½ weeks to go, Tim meets Kenley in Brooklyn.  Kenley lies that she really values Tim’s opinion even if it doesn’t seem that way.

We see a mish mash of a color palette.  I wish I could describe it, but, to borrow a phrase from Tim, it lacks cohesiveness.  She was inspired by “painting the roses red,” from Alice in Wonderland, which I want to think is cool because I am Alice in Wonderland’s biggest fan (shut up, Perlow), but I dislike Kenley so I don’t want her to like the things that I like.  I am willing to reserve judgment until I get a better look at her collection, because the first impression – ugly.  Almost like someone went round and round too fast on the tea cup ride, if you know what I mean.

Apparently, in a further effort to make Kenley appear the villain, she has no friends or family for us to meet, so we hear about her father the Tugboat captain and her grandmother, and get an odd explanation for the rope necklace that reminds Tim of a noose.  Lovely.  He calls her feathered wedding dress “spectacular.”

Back in New York, the designers meet at the Westin (really, Bravo?).  Leanne, Korto and Jerell all talk about how much they don’t like Kenley, and Kenley arrives to say she’s not going to waste her hate on people she’s never going to see again.  However, she offers them a lighthearted apology for being bitchy all series long.

At the workspace, the designers unpack as Tim enters and announces that for this final runway, they will have until midnight to create an accompanying bridesmaid dress.  Kenley interviews that they’re all pissed.  It annoys me that they are all surprised by this.  Like the producers haven’t pulled this trick since Season 1?

Tim Time.  Kenley’s dress is typical Kenley, and ambitious, but potentially good.  Tim’s worried for Jerell, who doesn’t seem concerned, because bridesmaid dresses are meant to be ugly.  Tim loves Leanne’s new wedding gown, but suggests she shorten and cute-ify her bridesmaid’s hem.  He tells Korto he sees two wedding dresses; they’re both beautiful but competing with each other.  Tim chokes up as he bids them all a good night and tells them how much he loves them.  You’re alone on this one, Tim.

The next day, Kenley thinks Korto and Leanne have stolen her idea of going with a short dress, which is almost the silliest thing I’ve heard all episode.

Runway!  No guest judge!

Jerell: Avant-garde wedding dress; bridesmaid’s a good match.  Kenley: Feathered wedding with poofy (typical Kenley) skirt; unoriginal bridesmaid.  Korto: WTF ugly?  My heart breaks; bridesmaid is a fun cocktail dress.  Leanne: Tiered wave wedding dress with pockets; bridesmaid – cute.

Kors calls Leanne’s wedding dress “chic, beautifully crafted.”  Nina says it’s modern and dreamy, and so Leanne.  The bridesmaid dress is beautiful.  Kors calls Jerell’s dress “garish,” as opposed to Jerell’s attempt at “regal and opulent.”  Heidi says the bridesmaid dress is “mumsy.”  Nina doesn’t think he put a lot of thought into it.  Ouch.  Kors and Nina tell Kenley her dress is very similar to Alexander McQueen’s latest.  “It bothers me a touch, quite honestly,” says Kors, and it clearly does.  But “it’s done beautifully, romantic without being syrupy.”  He says its still looks like Kenley, and the bridesmaid dress is the “cutest damn dress [he's] ever seen.”  I just saw something similar in a magazine, but fine.  Heidi thinks it’s “crazy/good.”  Sheesh.  Heidi says she wouldn’t want to wear Korto’s dress; it has too many elements.  Nina says the bridesmaid dress has “no relevance” to the wedding gown.  Korto and Jerell plead their case one last time.

Deliberation: Leanne looked beautiful, modern and romantic.  Kenley is kooky and meticulous.  Korto tried too hard.  Jerell went “hog wild.”

Out they come, and no winner, but Kenley and Leanne are safe and on to Bryant Park.  Finally, and unsurprisingly, Jerell is sent home.  Too bad they changed the rules on you this year, Jerell!  And for the record, I’m still hoping that this is all a red herring and Korto pulls out an amazing show compared to Leanne’s “organic” waves.  Right now, it’s Leanne’s contest to lose.  I still think Kenley’s just there for Wendy Pepper flair.

Next time: Will the finale finally get interesting?  Missing models, missing scissors and missing J. Lo!

Season 5, Episode 13: Finale Part 1 (originally aired October 8, 2008)

For another take on this episode, check out Now With 40% More Kenley by J.B. Perlow.

Wednesdays, at 9pm EST, Bravo

Photographs courtesy of BRAVO