Project Runway: Indecision 2008

That’s it!  I’m done with this show.  Once again the judges wimp out on us and don’t make a decision.  But it’s not like it matters because the six finalists got to show at Bryant Park anyway.  So why bother?  Speaking of not bothering, I’m phoning this commentary in-if they don’t want to try, neither do I.

After some Korto teeth brushing, Kenley/Leanne trash talking, and Jerell playing with three fruit dolls, Tim escorts the designers to the New York Botanical Garden.  Kenley thinks she’s “in Wizard of Oz,” only the man behind the curtain is L’Oreal Paris’s Collier Strong, who tells them they are to design an evening gown inspired by nature, i.e., snap a photo and make a dress like at the Met from last season.  In the garden we again hear about Korto’s family (is she going home?) and Kenley is really into floral designs-because a floral pattern is so hip-hop.  (Too soon?)

They pick photos and head to Mood, where we see someone left some fabric behind.  That someone is Kenley, and after a very “where the hell is my chiffon” moment (only with tulle), we see minutes of her upset about leaving it behind and how the other designers all have extra but won’t share with her because she’s been rude to everyone else on the show, including Heidi and Tim.  The next day, Tim finally comes in and tells her she can go back to Mood to pick it up since she paid for it.

While she waits to go to Mood, Collier consults with them about makeup and everyone is freaking out about their work.  Tim sends Kenley to Mood, which allows ample time for the other designers to bitch about her while we watch a photo montage about her childhood “miles away from land”-her justification for being as loud and obnoxious as she wants.

Tim’s review.  He’s bothered by Korto’s lace and modern front and “Catherine the Great” back (sans horse).  There’s a silly back and forth with Kenley, who is pleased when Tim describes her dress as “looking more like fish scales than…leaves” despite the “botanical theme, not…oceanic,” but you know our Pollyanna.  Jerell’s is unfinished and Tim wants Leanne’s dress to audition for the fourth revival of Hello! Dolly.  But still, he’s proud of his mishpocha.  (Ok, he didn’t say it in Yiddish, but the sentiment was there.)

The next and final day called for rain . . . in the form of tears, so wear your American Psycho suit for this next bit.  But first, Tropical Storm Kenley talks about her fellow designers: “Korto, I don’t like anything that she does….Jerell throws a bunch of glamorous sh-t together and it looks like a craft project.  Leanne-she does pleated details with a muted color palette.  That’s been done.”  To the runway, with guest judge Georgina Chapman of Marchesa.  In short, the designs stunk and, with the exception of Kenley, looked unfinished.

During the review, Korto and Jerell cried and we had too much focus on Kenley, a/k/a Wendy Pepper-elect.  When Heidi criticized her outfit, she shot back a petulant “I wasn’t going for elegance, Hei-DI,” and Heidi replied, “It’s a little bit annoying, the attitude” and Kors called her “flippant and smug.”  To add to the drama, Heidi asked each designer to say why they should go on to Fashion Week and who should join them.  Of course everyone threw Kenley under the bus.  Kenley, going last, carjacked Korto from the bus and ran over her on the way out of town.  It was, how you say, fierce.

In private, the judges trash everyone.  Of note, Kors on Kenley: “Forget what her clothes look like, with an attitude like that, imagine her response to if a buyer says, ‘Well, I don’t like that sleeve.’  What does she do?  Take out a knife and kill them?”  This only intrigues Heidi . . . and Kors.  They talk more about how tough their decision (i.e., job) is because this is the “closest runway show we’ve ever had to judge.”

In the end, they can’t decide because they all suck and so they give the designers a do over, like last season, only any one of them could be cut, even Jerell who won (yeah, I thought it was ugly too).  We end with a group hug with Tim, except for Kenley who opts to sit in a chair two feet from the group hug, annoyed that the other designers hate her.

Next week: Tim rides a tandem bike, Jerell designs for the prostitute cousin of a Solid Gold dancer, and Korto designs a dress for Eve Ensler.

Season 5, Episode 12: Nature Calls (originally aired October 1, 2008)

For another take on this episode, check out Jaimie Campos’ review here.

Wednesdays, at 9pm EST, Bravo

Photographs courtesy of BRAVO