The Amazing Race: Hotter than Satan’s Toenail

Is it the effect of my third glass of pinot noir, or did nothing really happen on this leg of the race?

Sure, Aja and Ty were eliminated, but we all knew that was coming the minute the producer’s bunching effort failed and they got stuck on an evening flight to Siem Reap, Cambodia, that didn’t allow them to join everyone else at the connecting airport in Singapore.

Yes, there was some fun tension when Nick and Starr, Ken and Tina, and Terence and Sarah took turns passing each other on their way to Kho Andeth restaurant, located in the middle of the Siem Reap Harbor.  And I certainly did not blame any team for taking joy in Terence and Sarah’s boat stalling during some engine flooding on the way to said restaurant.

Yet I felt strangely let down.  I wanted more of a breakdown.  I was hoping that Terence would really lose it and maybe even dive into the muddy water and attempt to push it from behind while Sarah whined and Terence cried “why can’t you be more supportive?”  Yet despite this setback and an earlier one involving a speeding ticket from the Kiwi men in blue, Terence and Sarah still managed a third place finish and will live to see another leg.  I can only pray for Colin’s ox to make a re-appearance just for Terence before the race is over.  C’mon, TAR.  I know you make it happen.

Because, really, when it comes to full-on meltdown potential, I still think Terence has the best chance.  I know, I know, it was Dan who got the control-freak edit this week.  Andrew mentioned a few times that Dan really needed to take a chill pill, and when Ty, in last place with Aja, mentioned the possibility of catching up with the second-to-last-place frat boys, it was Dan’s face he wanted to see implode, not Andrew’s.   And it was kinda fun to watch Andrew and Dan get really, really, irked at a gas pump where they had to crank out 25 liters of diesel fuel from a barrel and pump it into a car.  Everyone was cranking easily except them, and Andrew went from team to team to try and figure out the “trick.” (The trick?  Crank faster.)  Still, if The Amazing Race ends up doubling as a Race to Crazyville, I’d still put my money on Terence.

Although I shouldn’t leave out our divorcees.  After all, the look on their faces when they realized they came in fifth was priceless.  Kelly and Christy clearly had an image of themselves this leg that was divorced from reality (pun intended).  And because I watch this show under the continued misassumption that a poor race attitude means a poor race finish, I will take their giggly Dallas-is-”Teen-Wolf” remark as evidence that this team Will. Not. Win.  Although, to be perfectly honest, I love the movie Teen Wolf.  Although Dallas totally doesn’t look like Teen Wolf.  Although maybe Teen Wolf Too.

Kelly and Christy also win this season’s award for First-Team-To-Notice-That-Everyone-In-The-World-Is-Not-Rich.  The two abnormally well-coiffed women remarked that the people in Cambodia are 1) poor and 2) hard-working.  You know, I am continually amazed at the number of people on this show who seem genuinely shocked that people in the non-Western world, y’know, work.  I mean, what exactly did Kelly and Christy expect?  That Cambodians, given the choice to feed themselves or starve, would choose the latter?  I imagine Christy thinks “Wow!  There’s no grocery store to buy chicken!  Yet they appear to want to eat!  It’s incredible!”

Anyway . . .

Teams Nick and Starr and Toni and Dallas make a first and second place finish, respectively.  You won’t hear me complain about that.  When Toni and her son (who is growing on me if for no other reason that he totally sees through Kelly and Christy’s BS) finished fueling their car and flopped in back of a hay truck for the ride to the next clue, Toni gave her son an adorable happy kiss on the cheek, and Dallas didn’t look the least bit embarrassed by it.  Good for him.

And Nick and Starr have been able to keep fairly calm and cool and supportive thus far, so maybe this is the season where the blood relationships (as opposed to the marital ones) will truly shine.  No complaints here.

Meanwhile, Aja and Ty are eliminated, and come home to news like this.  Again, I’m not complaining.  Go Green!!!!

In their honor, I shall make Aja’s random comment about Cambodian weather the title of my review.  Cause, seriously?  That was random.

Season 13, Episode 5: Do It Like Madmen (originally aired October 26, 2008)

For another take on this episode, check out Takin’ It To The Lake by Paul Secrest.

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS