The Office: Consequences

Love hurts.  Love’s a battlefield.  All’s fair in love and war.  We’ve heard it all before, and on this week’s episode of The Office the Dunder Mifflin gang felt the painful – and sometimes hilarious – consequences of their deliciously awkward love lives.

For starters, Michael and Holly consummated their love during a late night at the office.  However, they forgot to lock up as they left.  The consequences?  The office got robbed.  Feeling guilty, Michael decided to throw a “CRIME AID” fundraiser, in which employees would auction off their skills.  The employees were less than thrilled over this latest Michael endeavor, and so Michael promised to auction off some (imaginary) Bruce Springsteen tickets.  Oh, Michael and his imaginary causes …

Meanwhile, Andy and Angela handed out their save the date cards, and Dwight felt some major heartache.  Phyllis, as a witness to their loving, decided to play the Jim role and sympathize with Dwight.  Phyllis proved to be pretty insightful – not that Dwight quite appreciated it.  He wanted to know why Angela would choose Andy, and Phyllis pointed out that Andy’s a safe choice for her – not a risk like Dwight, whom she had to introduce to pasteurized milk, sheets, and monotheism. (HA!) Dwight didn’t know what to do, so Phyllis told him that he should give Angela an ultimatum.  Dwight followed the advice, telling Angela it was either Andy or “this” (just imagine it), and she had until 6:14.

In the battlefield of Jim and Pam, Pam was spreading her wings in New York and left Jim an accidental and very long message on Jim’s work answering machine.  Turned out our Pammy was becoming quite the New York partier.  Jim, in his eternal adorableness, found her drunk dialing charming, pointed to the phone, and said, “the future mother of my children.” (Collective aww!!!) But trouble was just around the corner …

So finally it was time for Michael’s CRIME AID, which unsurprisingly, had everyone very disinterested in bidding.  Michael bought a yoga lesson from Holly for $300 after no one bid. (Isn’t that how he got into this trouble in the first place?) No one bid on Kevin’s accounting services.  Who could blame them?  And Creed offered up himself – “that’s all inclusive” – for auction.  No word on whether there were any bidders.  Darryl offered up a drink at the bar at that very moment.  Michael was not allowed to bid on this item, and Jim took it for $5 – and off the boys went to the bar.  David Wallace then showed up to give his support and offered up a weekend at his place in Martha’s Vineyard, for which there was a lot of interest.  No word on who won.

As the bidding continued, the clock struck 6:14.  Dwight looked to Angela, who looked to Andy.  Poor Dwight!  Distraught, Dwight dragged Phyllis outside under the actual ruse of letting her tires out, and Phyllis advised him to get over it and move on.  After all, she said, why would he want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with him?  Sage advice, Phyllis, but Dwight was having none of it.

At the bar next door, Jim was with the rest of the warehouse guys and ran into another former warehouse guy, Pam’s former fiancé Roy.  Can we say uncomfortable?  Roy promised not to try and hit him again, and Jim told him that Pam’s in New York and that they’re engaged.  Roy was surprisingly cool with it all and was happy for Pam.  Jim was relieved and told him about the drunken phone call with her hanging out with her friends.  “I thought you were her friend?” said Roy and trouble popped up in Jim’s eyes.  A minute later he was in the car on his way to NY to check up on his girl.  But being the good Jim he is, he pulled a U-y at the last turn to NY because they’re “not that couple” and “he’s not that guy.”  He’s not, but it does seem like some trouble is brewing in PB&J paradise.

Back at the auction, the fact that Michael had no Springsteen tickets became apparent.  Everyone was annoyed and Michael suggested they all go home.  But Phyllis hadn’t auctioned off her hug yet.  Hubby Bob Vance started off the bidding and in a sweet, apologetic move, Dwight drove up the cost – with David Wallace pitching in – and Phyllis’ hug finally went to her husband for a whopping $1,000.  So in the end, the auction was a success.

Holly confessed that she thought the tickets were a little too good to be true, but so far Michael isn’t.  She went over to him and they made out a little bit.  But who was that watching in the corner?  Oh, it was CEO David Wallace, and no, he did not know Michael and Holly were dating.

I wonder what the consequences of that will be.

Season 5, Episode 4: Crime Aid (originally aired October 23, 2008)

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Thursdays, 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC