The Office: Steak, Sex and Ethics

This week on The Office, HR rep and office cutie Holly is tasked with giving the Scranton branch an ethics lesson thanks to Ryan’s legal troubles last season.  To start off the meeting, Holly and Michael rewrite the lyrics to “Let’s Get Physical” and perform it as “Let’s Get Ethical” – but it seems the Dunder Mifflinites only got the original message.

After the altered ditty, Ryan addresses the elephant in the room by admitting that he regrets his actions.  But then he clearly lets everyone know it was all worth it because at the height of his crimes, he hooked up with a girl who looked exactly like Joanna from season six of Survivor.  Wow, I’m so glad his illegal lifestyle got him laid.

But it’s Meredith who takes the sex and ethics jackpot when she admits to sleeping with the Hammermill supplier for the past six years in exchange for discounts on supplies and Outback Steakhouse coupons.  Holly is accordingly appalled and tells Michael something has to be done.

Michael tries to convince Holly not to terminate Meredith by taking her out to a “business romantic” restaurant for lunch.  Instead of firing Meredith, Michael suggests they just punish her by making her wear a chastity belt straight out of Robin Hood: Men in Tights (little trap door and all).  Holly gets very uncomfortable, but Michael continues to insist that sometimes you just have to accept the faults of people you consider your family.  And then Michael’s ladylove Holly utters the ultimate blasphemy: “It’s not a family, it’s a workplace.”  Uh-oh.

Desperately love-starved Michael returns to the office, throws away Holly’s leftovers and his love for her, and begins to give her the silent treatment.  Holly, on the other hand, is having a miserable day because nobody likes the “morality police.”  She learned this in middle school when she was a hall monitor and people used to put egg salad in her locker.  Poor Holly was “hoping middle school was over,” and is very upset about losing her “best friend in the office.”  Oh Holly and Michael, won’t you just make painfully awkward love already?

But then later on a phone conference with Kendall from Corporate, Holly gets yelled at for not just getting the slips signed like they wanted.  As it turns out, Corporate is okay with Meredith’s incredibly unethical sexual favors as long as she’s getting discounts – and steak coupons.  But Michael sure doesn’t like the fact that Holly was getting yelled at and decides to make nice because he cares about her “deeply.”  Collective Aww!  So Holly resumes reading from the binder for her meeting and gets the signatures she needs with Michael’s help.  It looks like Micholly is back on.

Meanwhile, Jim announces to the office that he and Pam (who’s on the phone and sadly absent for the rest of the episode) are engaged.  Dwight points out to Jim that Pam’s not a virgin (which is hardly a shocker for Jim), and Michael tackles Jim to floor with pure joy.  However, Jim sets out to have his revenge on Dwight for his rude comment (or for just existing – it’s never really clear).  Dwight insists that he never steals time from the company by not working, so Jim decides to test this, with a stop watch.

As Jim points out, it’s pretty impressive.  Dwight does not quit working for one minute.  He doesn’t leave his desk to defend Battlestar Galactica (Jim thinks it’s about a guy named Dumbledore searching for a ring in Mordor, or something), or even to pee (disgusting).  Apparently, he even sneezes with his eyes open.

And just when Jim is about to concede that Dwight doesn’t waste time, Dwight disappears for 19 minutes and 48 seconds.  Where did he go, Jim wonders?  Dwight steals a look at Angela, who’s buttoning up.  Bad D!  So it seems the former volunteer deputy prefers getting physical to getting ethical.  And if it leads to more episodes like this week’s, I’m OK with that.

Season 5, Episode 2: Business Ethics (originally aired October 9, 2008)

Thursdays, 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC