30 Rock: The One with the Cast of Night Court

If this Rock’s a rockin’, it’s because the guest stars are a-knockin.’  What?  Not good?

To the professionals, then!  A distraught Kenneth stops Liz in the hall and begs her to restore the old page uniform, instead of this new, gray monstrosity he must wear now.  Kenneth is offended on a deep level similar to how I feel after a bad haircut.  Life isn’t fair sometimes!  Liz can’t help, so she grabs Jenna, informing her that their old Chicago roommate, Claire, is downstairs.  Claire’s crazy and generally unwelcome.  Waiting at the elevator with Jack, Liz calls her “a human Macarena, something everyone did at parties in 1996.”

Claire, aka Jennifer Aniston, aka, popular with Vogue right now, emerges from the elevator and the women squeal their hellos, as women are wont to do.  Claire meets Jack, appraising him as he walks away, before making unwanted plans with Jenna and Liz.

Tracy finds Kenneth morosely retiring his old page uniform with a salute.  Tracy’s concerned, because a sad Kenneth is like “an owl without a graduation cap: Heartbreaking!”  Kenneth tells him that some things aren’t fixable, like the unsatisfying finale of the NBC series Night Court.  Kenneth explains that Night Court was meant to end with a wedding between Christine and Harry, but was canceled before that could happen.  Tracy gets to thinking…

Liz enters Jack’s office, and warns him away from Crazy Claire.  But she’s too late!  Jack’s already hit that in the elevator!  Claire walks out of his bathroom, all “Hey, Liz, Jack was just giving me directions to the F train” (wink, wink).  She leaves, and Jack says this is “objectively awesome.”  Liz warns him that Claire’s “grab a cop’s gun” crazy.  Jack isn’t convinced.

Tracy leads Kenneth into the studio where “some of the cast of Night Court!” stand waiting on a replica set.  Harry, Christine and Mac wait, surprised at having found out the sick kid Tracy told them about is actually an excited, full-grown Kenneth.

At a fundraiser that night, not-invited Claire interrupts Jack’s speech with her impression of Marilyn Monroe serenading JFK.  He pulls her aside to chastise her, but she responds, “If I kill myself, it is all your fault!”

Shortly afterward, Jack runs up to Liz’s office for help, infatuated and panicked.  He reveals he had sex with Claire again.  “It was quick and in a meat locker.  That’s okay, right?”  Liz is shocked and awed at his depravity.  Jack explains that “emotionally unstable women are fantastic in the sack…Their self-loathing translates into…never mind.”  It’s all in the delivery, people.  And suddenly I want to be an emotionally unstable woman.  Liz finally relents and tells Jack to keep his distance; she’ll go clubbing with Claire to keep her tied up.  Which is where Claire is now, literally tied up, and Jack starts exhibiting signs of withdrawal.

On the Night Court set, Kenneth distributes scripts.  Christine takes a moment to say how happy she is to be back with Harry and Mac.  If only “the brilliant John Larroquette could be here as well.”  And oh my god, how awesome would that have been?  There’s just not enough John Larroquette in the world, honestly.  Harry says he couldn’t be here because of scheduling, which sets off an old argument about Christine being left out and Harry’s Emmy nominations.  The result being she and Harry storm off to separate corners and (oh no!) the wedding is in jeopardy!

Liz finds Claire in the Writers’ Room and convinces her to blow off Jack for clubbing with her and Jenna.   Meanwhile, sage Tracy talks Harry into resolving his differences with Christine and go through with the wedding.  The couple reunites!

That night at the club, Liz, looking hilariously awful, waits for Claire, who had texted that she was “getting on the F train.”  Oh no!  Liz dials Jack and warns him, “She’s in your house!”  Jack laughs, until he turns around and finds Claire in a tiara, black mini, and apron, holding a white pizza.  He’s freaked out until she kisses him, and then, well, boys will be boys.  He quickly hangs up on Liz so he can get his groove on.

Jack runs into the Writers’ Room, panicked and obsessed.  He admits to Liz that he had sex with Claire again.  She’s his drug: “I crave her all the time even though she’s bad for me … Wait, maybe Claire is right, maybe if we have a baby together, things will calm down.”  Liz demands that he fight to step up and end this.  They walk into Liz’s office…

And find Claire, legs up on Liz’s desk.  Jack can barely form a coherent sentence.  Claire accuses Liz of trying to keep Jack away from her.  Claire forces Jack to choose, and though Liz sternly reminds him that he wanted out, Jack cuts her off and chooses Claire.  She yells after them that when Jack hits rock bottom, she won’t bail him out, and she’s deleting him from her phone.  Oh snap!

In the halls, Jenna tips off Liz about the Night Court reunion, and Liz runs to the set.  Harry mistakes her for a network executive, and pitches a Magician for Heroes.  A move like that could only improve that show, trust me.  Where’s the petition I need to sign?  Liz shuts the production down, until Kenneth delivers an impassioned speech about friendship and compassion.  Group hug and cheering! (It’s like a real sitcom, isn’t it?)

Jack and Claire wait to enter a club, until Claire freaks out because there’s no longer any excitement to their relationship now that they have permission.  She heats things up by placing a gun in Jack’s hand.  Cut to a group of cops close by, one missing his gun.  Then she rats Jack out to the po-po!  He drops the gun and runs from police pursuit.

On the Night Court set, Harry marries Christine, Mac looking on.  As his first official act as a newly married judge, Harry hereby declares the new page uniforms illegal!  In reality, Tracy pulled some strings and had the old uniforms reinstated.

At the actual Night Court, Jack emerges from the courtroom to find Liz waiting for him, literally bailing him out.  He tells her it’s not at all like the Night Court television show.  For one thing, “the hookers are not funny, there’s a lot more sickly homeless people and terrified college students.”  He thanks her for the bailout, and when she playfully punches his shoulder, he fondly remembers that Claire used to punch him in the face.  At her angry look, he apologizes and promises it’s over.

They stroll out laughing to the theme of Night Court.  It’s almost like a real sitcom, isn’t it?

And speaking of guys at 30 Rock getting their groove on…The show is back on track, people, even with four stunt-casting guest stars in one episode.  Next week, Steve Martin!

Season 3, Episode 3: The One with the Cast of Night Court (originally aired November 13, 2008)

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Thursdays at 9:30/8:30C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC