Bolt

So some people will tell you that Bolt is a 96 minute rip-off of other animated movies. The bottom line: Best rip-off I’ve watched in a long time. Go see Bolt!

Picture Sunday morning. A bad day grew worse by the time I reached the theater – mind you, one of only two theaters in all of Manhattan carrying this movie – to find the showing I planned to watch sold out. How was that possible? Twilight came out this same weekend, so the entire female population of New York should have been watching teenage vampires make out with their eyes (which, I mean – for heaven’s sake). So what was this child’s movie doing sold out on a Sunday afternoon?

I buy my ticket two hours in advance for the next show, go waste time in the freezing cold, come back to the theater more irritated than before, and good thing I bought that ticket, because the next show is sold out as well.

Ten minutes later, I settle down in my cocoon of excessive popcorn and even more excessive butter, and one hour and thirty-six minutes later, I suddenly and completely understand why the movie has been sold out. Because, come on, have you seen a picture of this guy? He’s the cutest! EVER.

A rip off? Sure. Everything is. Even I thought immediately of the Animaniacs and their Goodfeathers when we first met the three New York Pigeons. Mittens is surprisingly similar in attitude to the show’s alley cat, Rita. Bolt suffers from the Buzz Lightyear complex.

Did I care? Not a bit!

Writers Dan Fogelman and Chris Williams created a story that borrows from many other movies, animated and live action, but which also gives a nice twist. There’s enough basic action and adventure for the kids, and the humor read easily to both adults and children, without pandering. It was entertaining and to the point, and didn’t pretend to be anything but what it was: an original mishmash of storylines and borrowed clichés. I especially enjoyed the moments poking fun at current television and films, from overwrought cliffhangers, to an overabundance of slow motion shots and movie-making theatrics. And it doesn’t hurt to love dogs, because then you can’t possibly hate this movie.

I’d recommend the 3D version because the glasses make you look totally awesome, and enhances the great character designs and animation. The voice actors delivered enthusiastic performances which perfectly fit their animated counterparts, though Disney’s recruitment of Miley Cyrus was very obviously for the tween draw, and her performance fell flat in comparison. The animation is excellent, capturing the nuances of animal movements, from pigeons to dogs, and all the endearing furryness that is a supercute white pup. The storyline won’t blow you away, but neither will it disappoint; it fulfills the promise of the previews: Bolt thinks he’s a superhero, becomes lost in the real world, learns he’s as ordinary as an alley cat and a hamster, and runs home to save his human with the ordinary power of his heart. Because love, say it with me now, is the greatest superpower of them all.

Did I mention how adorably cute this guy is? No? Look again!

Other things I learned while watching Bolt:

1. If a movie is good enough, a theater full of children can be ignored, and isn’t nearly as annoying as a theater full of adults who are taking the world of Twilight way too seriously.

2. There is such a thing as too much butter on popcorn.

3. John Travolta doesn’t get enough credit. Although, Wild Hogs explains why. But give the guy points for committing performance-wise to everything he does. It pays off here.

4. Parents are dumb. Why would you show up to a movie with your kids five minutes before it begins, with the only remaining seats in the front row, i.e., the worst place to watch a movie? That seems cruel. Especially when Bolt is so awesome!

5. Rhino the Hamster has injected new life into the word “awesome,” and has now legitimized my right to continue to overuse it.

6. All dogs really should go to heaven.

Go out and watch Bolt. Take the kids (or not) and get there early so you’re not sitting in the front row. And you’re welcome.