Dancing with the Stars: Sprinter Takes a Walk

Time is sure flying by on Dancing with the Stars.  This week, we were down to five couples as they raced to the finish line finale in two weeks.  Each couple had to dance two numbers, including a fifteen minute solo, and whoever ended up at the bottom wouldn’t make it to next week’s semi-finals.  So who had what it took to go the distance?

Cody Linley and his substitute partner Edyta (no worries, Julianne will be back next week – if Cody is), danced the dreaded and difficult foxtrot to start the evening.  Luckily, Cody was smooth, if a little abrupt at times, though he didn’t look like he had as much fun with Edyta as he does with Julianne.  There wasn’t a lot of chemistry, but Cody did look appropriately dapper.  The judges applauded his maturity. (Total: 24)

Later Cody and Edyta returned for a Latin mambo, including Cody’s solo.  The mambo was fine, though Cody still has 12-year-old boy hips, which makes it a little awkward.  His solo, however, was a riot.  It was a little more erratic than mambo, but it was exactly how you’d expect an 18-year-old to dance, pelvic thrust and a launch at Carrie Ann included.  He made me laugh, and I appreciated that. (Total: another 24)

Then it was up to model and front-runner Brooke Burke to steal the show.  She and Derek danced a tango first, which was fierce, but Brooke lost her footing from time to time.  Len called her out on the missteps, but the other judges were too enamored to notice. (Total: 28)

Then the dynamic duo attacked a mambo where Brooke performed her solo by gyrating and kicking and all around shaking it right up next to the judges’ table.  Bruno and Len were so mesmerized by her hips we’re lucky neither keeled over, though Carrie Ann did call Brooke out on her poor posture.  But they awarded the very ambitious dance accordingly with three 9s. (Total: 27)

Olympic sprinter Maurice Green was up next with a very appropriate quickstep.  Maurice and Cheryl practically sprinted around the floor, but perhaps it was too fast.  Len said he noticed that all of Maurice’s footwork was spot on, but as someone less familiar with the quickstep, it looked silly to me.  It seemed like he was just running around the floor, and thus seemed sloppy.  But I’ll cede to the judge’s better opinions on this one. (Total: 24)

For his Latin number, Maurice stomped his way through a paso doble.  His solo involved lots of cape work, but it seemed easy.  Maurice needed to use his feet a little less and his body a little more.  Carrie Ann was right: he’s got a lot of intensity, but lacks grace. (Total: 24 – apparently the go-to number for the night)

Lance Bass and Lacey aimed to impress Len with their traditional foxtrot this week, and gosh darn it, was it just precious.  Their return to tradition worked and even Len agreed that it was very good.  The steps were all there, it was highly musical, and there was even a cute little bow-tie adjustment.  Lance and Lacey were very old Hollywood and very delightful – I was just waiting for Shirley Temple to show up and cut in. (Total: 26)

The Latin samba, however, was not as kind to Lance. When he danced with Lacey he was great – on the beat and grooving – but his solo was a bit off.  Carrie Ann was distracted by his high eye-line, looking up into the balcony as he danced.  It was a bit of a weird thing for her to get hung up on.  But Len was the real killer, calling his foot-work atrocious and calling his boy-band inspired solo “whatever sort of dancing that is.”  Ouch. (Total: 24)

Finally it was left up to Warren Sapp and his partner Kym.  They first stole the show with a vivacious, James Bond-inspired tango.  It was sharp, slick, and entirely entertaining.  The judges were blown away, and frankly, I had a hard time suppressing a gleeful smirk myself.  For his efforts, Carrie Ann awarded 007 with his first 10 of the season. (Total: 28)

For his Latin number, big man Warren attacked the jive (is that Latin?), and if I hadn’t seen it, I would never have believed it.  Warren skipped, hopped, and conquered the stage with pure ebullience.  I watched amazed as the hulk of a man kicked and spun and skipped around with quickness and agility.  Len was quick to point out that his feet were all wrong (get over it, Len!), but couldn’t deny that it was still an awesome performance. (Total: 26)

So we moved on to Tuesday’s results show, where Warren and Kym repeated their Disco routine (I was hoping for the jive), Brad Paisley performed, Lacey and her swing champ brother Benji flipped around the stage, and Dr. Drew showed up to analyze the couples’ relationships.

The Dr. Drew segments were really the only things worth watching.  The media-whore psychologist advised Lance & Lacey to talk about their feelings more.  How very insightful!  He told Warren Sapp that he thinks winning is a burden.  Huh?  He told Maurice and Cheryl that they should talk through their frustration.  Okay … And he told Brooke and Derek that they need to find the line between “tough love” and disrespect.

But the best part was the reunion of Cody and Julianne.  And poor Cody!  He missed his Julianne so.  Talking about Julianne’s illness and absence for the past two weeks, Cody got all choked up and by the end both he and Julianne were in tears.  Aww!  I think Cody just booked himself a spot in the finals.

Julianne – two weeks off surgery – also returned to the dance floor with her brother Derek for a highly energetic, difficult, piano-tapping jive.  And I’m now convinced that she is super-human.  They’re still trying to cast Wonder Woman, right?  Hollywood, do I have a suggestion for you!

After everyone got in touch with their feelings, it was time for the results.  Cody & Edyta/Julianne and Maurice & Cheryl were in the bottom two.  Would Cody get to dance with his sweetheart again?  Or would Maurice be taking his speedy feet to the next round?

And the couple out was: Maurice & Cheryl.

So it was time for the sprinter to hit the road.  Better luck on the track, Maurice, this is one race you can’t win.

Season 7, Round 8: Episodes 16 and 17 (originally aired November 10 and 11, 2008)

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Competition Mondays at 8/7C, ABC

Elimination Tuesdays at 9/8C, ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC