The Amazing Race: Revenge of She-Hulk

My god, what a satisfying hour of television that was.  Is there anything sweeter than watching teams you root for succeed against oppressive odds while simultaneously watching teams you loathe fall on their faces repeatedly and suffer all manner of indignities?  Nope.

This week’s adventures centered around further exploration of Delhi, India, a city brimming with life and chaos.  First order of business was a Road Block that thrust half of each team into the Hindu festival of Holi in which dozens of enthusiastic revelers toss loads of colorful powder and water at each other until it looks like a psychedelic reenactment of the Normandy invasion; the unlucky chosen racer was tasked to dive into the fray in search of a clue while being incessantly pummeled by rainbow muck.  Most teams finished easily, but Kelly let the challenge become her own personal hell and Terence spent the remainder of the leg trying in vain to clear his neon purple sinuses.  Also, Tina found herself doused head to toe in a lovely shade of lime green in spite of Ken performing the task.

Ken & Tina’s last place finish on the previous leg made for an especially inspiring comeback in spite of a personal Speed Bump challenge that found them serving holy water to hundreds of spiritually thirsty Sikhs. Back on track, they advanced to a Jain bird hospital to find clues waiting for the racers in plain sight, but that didn’t stop Sarah from making a pigeon very nervous as she amusingly rooted through its bedding. (By the way, props to the Race’s producers for coming up with a leg that involved symbols, traditions, and rituals from all three of India’s major religions.)

Once flying the coop, teams received a Detour choice of wandering along a crowded market in search of tiny numbered tags tangled in the power lines or the more physical option to haul 40lb bags of dried chilies a quarter mile to a spice merchant to be hand crushed into powder.  I would personally take a sore back and watery eyes over the Where’s Waldo tedium of number hunting, but all teams but one went for the wires.  At least Terence let me take further delight in his misery when the act of pepper crushing made it truly the worst day in the history of his nasal cavities.

Nick & Starr and Toni & Dallas surprisingly managed to breeze through the challenge and pull into the Pit Stop in 1^st and 2^nd, while Kelly & Christy and Andrew & Dan fixated on every number in sight other than the right ones, allowing Ken & Tina to make their triumphant return to contender status.  They too made short work of the eye strain and gave the Superbads an insanely benevolent parting gift by telling them exactly what to look for, which in turn gave them the edge they needed to escape last place, which can only mean one marvelous thing: Kelly & Christy’s elimination!  That’s right, you misanthropic Feminazis.  No longer will other teams suffer your cattiness and putdowns, no longer will the cabbies of the world wither under your condescension.  You will not be missed.

Season 13, Episode 7: My Nose is on Fire (originally aired November 9, 2008)

For another take on this episode, check out Yay! by Alana D.

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS