The Office: Lies

This week’s episode of The Office taught us all a valuable lesson: If you lie/hide/deceive, you will get caught.  Let’s look at the evidence, shall we?

Exhibit A: Michael returned from Nashua – and his break-up with Holly – and told everyone at Dunder Mifflin that he and Holly were engaged.  He was caught in this lie, because Darryl had been with him in Nashua and knew it was false, and because the Dunderites told Michael to call his mother and tell her the happy news while they all stood round and listened on speakerphone.  Michael was unable to lie to his mother (who he’s apparently already told this lie to in the past), and Michael confessed that he wasn’t engaged.  It was very embarrassing, and I laughed very hard.

Exhibit B: Kelly handed in false customer surveys for Jim and Dwight.  Jim and Dwight did not know this and were both very shocked and disappointed to receive such poor assessments.  Jim almost believed this because he spent the past year “flirting with the receptionist” – but doesn’t he do that every year?  He was also very disappointed by this, because he needs a good review for his bonus.  And he needs his bonus to secretly buy his parents’ house so they can retire, and presumably he and Pam can live in it. (Can this guy get any more perfect?)

The con did have an upside, however.  It allowed for a brilliant fake sales call, moderated by Michael, between salesman Dwight and Jim, his customer, “Mr. Buttlicker.”  After berating Dwight, Mr. Buttlicker ends up buying a million dollars worth of paper from Michael in exchange for Dwight’s hypothetical firing.  Better than a stapler in Jell-O, I’m telling you.

Kelly’s plan, therefore, almost worked out except that Dwight was certain it was a conspiracy, and Kelly made the mistake of having a very un-Kelly-like two-word conversation with Jim.  Was Kelly mad at Jim?  To find out, Jim went to the king of deceit, criminal embezzler and DM temp, Ryan.  Ryan wouldn’t say, but Jim noticed that Ryan was drinking out of the same face-emblazoned coffee mug he’d seen Andy drinking out of earlier.  Where’d he get it?  A party of Kelly’s which Jim decided to skip so he could visit Pam.

Jim heard alarm bells and realized that Kelly was actually mad at him.  Then he told Dwight three words I never thought I’d hear from Jim’s mouth: You were right.  Dwight and Jim reported the false customer surveys to Michael, and together they confronted Kelly.

Yes, she lied on the customer reports but it was because Jim and Dwight aren’t good friends.  Michael asked the boys to leave and told Kelly about his own difficulty getting people to come to his parties (all that ruined guacamole!).  He told her to pretend like she was crying and he’d let her go.

So I guess Kelly got away with it and we got to witness a brilliant series of interactions between Jim and Dwight.  Maybe this deception stuff isn’t so bad?

You might think so until you got to Exhibit C: Jim and Pam’s secret, world’s tiniest Bluetooths.  Pam got her hands on some teeny tiny phones so that The Office‘s timeless lovebirds could chat 24/7 – including at work.  This led to some very enjoyable moments, such as Dwight thinking Jim’s talking to himself, Pam realizing Kelly’s deceit, and Jim teasing Pam for buying more shoes.  However, it also led to a sad revelation.

Pam was just minding her own (and Jim’s) business at work, when her pal Alex (Mad Men‘s Rich Sommer) interrupted her and needed to talk urgently.  Jim, casually not jealous, thought that Alex had a crush on his Pammy.  But Alex instead told Pam that she can’t leave New York – not because of him, but because if she does, she’ll have to leave her dreams of being an artist behind.  Sad silence fell on both ends of the line, as the house-searching Jim and the dream-searching Pam, realized, horribly, that he was right.

There are some truths you don’t want to hear.

And there are other truths that aren’t worth knowing, like say, that your fiancée has tricked you into having your wedding on the farm of her former lover.  That’s right, Angela and Andy have decided to hold their wedding on Schrute Farms.  Angela pushed for the location after saying that Andy could have his wedding tent if they were married near a rustic barn within a 5-8 mile radius where you can lie on your back and see the stars through the slats.  Andy didn’t seem to notice how shockingly detailed this description was.  The wistful look on Angela’s face as she spoke of the barn was also sort of sweet in a creepy Dwight/Angela way.

Dwight, of course, agreed to hold the wedding and told Angela with his intense eye-contact, that he would give her whatever she needed to make her day perfect.  She can call on him day or night – he is at her service.  And there they went again with the sweet/creepy they’ve perfected.  But I’ve got to ask, does Angela realize that she’s planning her wedding to Dwight?  Does she realize that her dream wedding is turning into a Schrute affair, except that it’ll be Andy waiting for her at the end of the aisle?  Or is she just that good at lying to herself?

Oh, is it going to be interesting times in Scranton when this particular bit of deceit comes to light just as it’ll probably be heart-breaking to see how Jim and Pam deal with their latest dose of truth.  But for now, the lies continue.  Some people never learn their lesson.

(One last bit of truth for you folks: this was by far one of the best episodes this season.  Every nuance was spot-on, from Michael relating to Kelly, Jim surprising us by confessing his review-failure to Pam, her easy acceptance of it, their new and plausible trouble in paradise, Jim taking advantage of Michael’s ridiculous management tactics, and Dwight/Angela’s uncomfortably lustful looks across the conference table.  It was an episode to watch again and again.  And I’d tell you no lies.)

Season 5, Episode 6: Customer Survey (originally aired November 6, 2008)

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