30 Rock: Sex and Awesomeness!

I know what you’re thinking: If there’s no very special celebrity guest star on 30 Rock this week, how can it be any good?  But it is good, America.  I promise.  Perhaps…just a little funnier.

We start with Liz trying to dodge the invite to her high school reunion, because she’s convinced she won’t have fun.  I skipped mine because I didn’t think there’d be enough alcohol to get me through it.  So it seems like a pretty quiet opening.  Until none other than Don Geiss wakes from his coma!  Could it be time, finally, for Jackie-boy to head to Erection Cove?

But before he can, Jack stops by Liz’s office to tell her about his impending CEO promotion, and he’s beside himself with joy.  Which is part of the reason he offers the company jet to Liz so she can make her reunion.  In his joy, he’s a little jealous.  “I wish I had a Princeton reunion right now.  Wipe the smug smile off Michelle Obama’s face.”  Liz tries to explain that she was a lonely nerd, often the butt of jokes, in high school, but Jack convinces her with fancy private jet talk and a mostly encouraging speech to go.

In this week’s random, pointless side story, Kenneth steals the Tracy Jordan thunder by upstaging the TGS star in the elevator.  Apparently, Kenneth’s comic appeal is amplified in a tiny, movable space.  Tracy’s jokes bomb, while Kenneth’s trite office humor sparks laughter and giggles.  Naturally, this does not sit well with the famous actor and narcissist (double negative?).

Meanwhile, Jack meets with Don Geiss, and Rip Torn flashes back to his Men in Black days: a beam of energy spoke to him while he was in his coma, and told him his work here was not done.  So while Jack is still Geiss’ first choice as a replacement, clearly he can no longer leave his position as CEO.

A manic Jack finds Liz and fills her in, rambling and hysterical about restrictions on how many times she can use “cat anus” in her show (FYI, three).  She uses the excuse that there’s no more company jet, so no more reunion, but Jack’s going to Miami in a jet he rented, so he’ll drop her off.  He needs to blow off some steam, so they’re off!

And they’re down!  A snowstorm in the little Pennsylvania town grounds the flight and Jack is stuck in Liz’s dry, Vietnamese-overrun hometown.  He’s discouraged, disconsolate, and depressed.

At 30 Rock, Tracy tries his elevator jokes again, this time with Grizz and Dot Com in attendance to provide the laughs, but still, the crowd doesn’t warm to him.  Once again, Kenneth has the small room in stitches, and Tracy’s pissed.  So Tracy goes in search of the one person who can understand his ego’s pain: Jenna.  She tells him, as actors, they’re the most important people here, and anyone who tries to steal their attention (i.e., their power), must be stopped.  Jenna suspects Allison in wardrobe’s baby.  “What is up with that thing?  So she can put her feet in her mouth.  So can I!”  And girl, I hear you.  What is up with babies?  Why do people bring them to work?  Why aren’t people ooo-ing and aaah-ing over my cuteness?  Keep your babies at home, America!

Tracy clarifies that it’s Kenneth, but Jenna laughs that suggestion off.  For now…

Liz attends the reunion, drawing stares, and runs into Kelsey Winthrop, who Liz recalls as one of the popular girls and a former torturer.  Kelsey laces into Liz, because Liz was not, in fact, the lovable nerd; she was the class bully!  Hmmm, it’d be awesome if that turned out to be the case with me.  Sadly, no one’s accused me of such on Facebook.  I was really just a band nerd after all.  Kelsey’s shocked and upset at Liz’s audacity to show at the reunion.  Tears follow.

And there’s Jack, at the reunion bar, getting drunk in the only place he can.  He listens to Everyman stories, envious of the simple happiness of Liz’s suburbanite classmates.  Liz finds him and vents about her own disillusionment.  They’re interrupted by Rob Sussman, who Liz once called “gayer than the volleyball scene in Top Gun.”  She only said that so he’d feel okay about coming out, but he insists he’s not gay!  But right now, he’s so mad, all he can do is dance!  And off he goes!  Jack soaks it in, wishing he were one of these people.  Just then, another former student steps up and mistakes Jack for an old, popular classmate.  In the middle of his identity crisis, Jack happily assumes the life and loves of Larry Braverman.

Jenna enters the elevator with Kenneth.  His jokes once again grab all of the attention, and even her sudden, attention-whore rendition of “Wind Beneath My Wings” can’t outshine the little hick, so she finds Tracy, and they agree it’s time to put a stop to the little monster.

At the reunion, Jack eats up Larry Braverman’s popularity, and tries to ditch Liz because she’s “harshing everyone’s buzz.”  Later, Jessica, aka, Donna Moss, approaches him.  There’s a whole history thing going on between these two, but Jack’s cool as shit and knows exactly what not to say because of their shared, past indiscretions.  She’s as in love with Larry now as she was then.  I will not admit to any of you who my Larry Braverman is.  Moving on.  The rest of the old crew joins them, and a Seven Minutes in Heaven game begins.  The bottle twirls, but lands at the last moment on Liz, instead of Donna.

In the closet, Jack says, “just to be clear, we’re not making out.  That would be social suicide.”  Oh my god.  Are they taking bits and pieces of my life in high school?  The two argue, with Liz taking the offensive when Jack hits too close to home, and makes him cry by rubbing in his loss of Geiss’ job.  He storms out of the closet, where old classmates immediately come to Larry’s defense against Liz.

Back at the studio, Jenna and Tracy show Kenneth what’s what by Becoming a Page for a Day.  Kenneth doesn’t like how they’re taking over his job.  And let that be a lesson to you, Kenneth, because Tracy doesn’t like it when Kenneth does it to him.  Tears and apologies, and we’re all back to normal.

It’s awards time at the reunion.  Liz wins for school spirit, but it’s a setup!  The old crew wants to “Carrie” Liz onstage.  When her name is called, Liz tries to gracefully bow out, but she’s lured to the stage by the promise of a $50 gift card to Outback Steakhouse.  For the record, that would have won me over too.  I mean, come on, have you tried those cheese fries?  Once there, Jack rushes onstage to push her out of the way and stop the pig’s blood from flowing.  He wins the crowd over by admitting he, too, makes mistakes (which no one believes of Braverman).  Everyone has their way of dealing with disappointments – Jack uses “sex and awesomeness.”  Liz uses her insults, but he’s honored to call her a friend.  The crowd eats it up, and finally accepts Liz.  It looks like a happy ending after all until Donna Moss steps forward and introduces Larry Braverman to … his son!!! Jack immediately cops to not being Larry Braverman, then he bolts from the stage and a chorus of boos, with Liz close behind him.  But not before signing off with, “Suck it, you whittling IHOP monkeys…Lemon out!”

I’ve never been happier that I missed my reunion.

Season 3, Episode 5: Reunion (originally aired December 4, 2008)

For another take on this episode, check out Do you like Methodist churches full of Vietnamese? by Robin Reed.

For more on 30 Rock, click here.

Thursdays at 9:30/8:30C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC