Gossip Girl: Kiss My Bass

Well, as I suspected, Bart Bass died in last week’s car accident while he was on his way to confront Lily about her on-off relationship with Rufus.  Unknown to Bart, Lily was planning on divorcing him, but now she’s expected to play the part of the solemn widow.  But Lily is not playing along, which only raises the suspicions of her children, Serena and Eric, as they enjoy a pre-funeral breakfast with grandmother Cece (N.B. Cece is not sharing her glass of gin with the younglings).  She leaves to meet up with Rufus, with Cece following close behind.  In the park, Lily feels guilty for being with Rufus in light of Bart’s death but Rufus says he’s going to wait for her and will give her time.  He leaves and Lily listens to a voicemail Bart left for her before he died: he knows about Rufus and he knows why she was in that hospital in France.  We’ll get back to this story in a bit, but first some boring matters.

Blair is also eating breakfast when Cyrus announces that he and Eleanor are going to get married the next day.  Blair is not pleased but ultimately comes around to Cyrus after he consoles her over an encounter with Chuck.  They wed, with Jenny making Eleanor’s outfit (they made up), and Dorota dressed like a chambermaid on The Tudors.

The love triangle between Serena, Aaron, and Dan (“SAD”) continues as everyone is jealous of everyone, and Dan pushes aside his feelings and lies about not having a problem with Serena going to spend the holidays in Buenos Aires with Aaron.  He confesses to Jenny (and us) that he still has feelings for Serena and that he’s going to still fight for her.  Dan calls Serena as she’s in the cab to the airport but she doesn’t want to answer it; Aaron tells her to answer, adding that even though he knows she has feelings for Dan, he may be falling in love with her.  She sends the call to voicemail.  Nicely played, Aaron.

Meanwhile, Chuck, or rather actor Ed Westwick, delivered a great performance as the mourning Chuck Bass. (Why have they been constraining his character?)  Chuck finally showed some depth and we didn’t get the usual childish whining, crying or scheming we’ve grown to love.  So for this reason alone watch this episode, plus Chuck is looking minimally creepy and pretty attractive so he’s got that going for him.

Anyway, Chuck meets with his father’s private investigator about buying the information he was going to give his father when he died.  The investigator is looking for a higher bidder and leaves.  Chuck gets drunk and Nate and Blair have to help him compose himself for the funeral.  At the funeral, Chuck loses it when he sees Dan (more good acting!)–he’s outraged that Dan would show up after his father was making nice-nice with Lily the night of Bart’s death.  Dan leaves but not before Chuck calls Lily a “whore.”

After the funeral, while people mingle at the Bass-Van der Woodsen household, Chuck goes upstairs to search for Bart’s investigative file about Lily, but Lily tells him it’s gone.  They have a heated stand-off and both blame the other for Bart’s death.  She also meets with Cece to get Cece to pay off the investigator and to make everything go away.  Cece thinks Lily should come clean but meets with the investigator.  She then tells Lily that she’s taken care of everything.  To celebrate, Lily calls Rufus about them going away together for the holidays.  He agrees.

As Blair struggles with Chuck’s emotional instability, she professes her love for him–just like he’s wanted for so long.  He runs off to meet with the investigator.  It turns out he’s the highest bidder because Cece would not pay.  He takes the mystery envelope and heads home, where Lily finds him reading the papers about her.  Lily appeals to Chuck’s heart, or at least where his heart should be, and asks him not to turn away from the people who love him.  She reminds him that the exclusion of loved ones was his father’s greatest mistake.  She hopes better for Chuck and leaves.  And then suddenly, Chuck’s heart grew three sizes that day!  He throws the papers in the fire and goes to see Blair, where she hugs him, he cries, and they fall asleep together.

And that Rufus-Lily issue?  Well, Cece goes to Rufus’s loft to say that he needs to know something.  He does not want her meddling but she says she wants Rufus and Lily to work this time but she knows they can’t because there’s something standing in their way.  At this point, I’ve guessed the secret; have you?  Instead of packing, Rufus just leaves to meet with Lily at Grand Central Station (where the series first started).  Visibly angry, he walks up to her and asks if it was a boy or a girl.  Duh-duh-duh!

Blair wakes up to her own surprise.  Chuck is gone and left her a note saying she deserves better than him and she should not come looking for him.

What a roller coaster of an episode.  I’ll see you Gossip lovers back here on January 5.  Until then, X-O-X-O.

Season 2, Episode 13: O Brother, Where Bart Thou? (originally aired December 8, 2008)

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