The Amazing Race: You didn’t let me down either, Dallas. Well, a little.

Hmph.

You’ll have to excuse me.  I know I’m supposed to be writing a lovely, comprehensive review of this episode of The Amazing Race.  But I’m too busy washing down leftover turkey with a slice of bitter pie.

You see, Dallas and Toni have been that all-too-rare team on The Amazing Race, the one made of people who actually seem to *gulp* like each other.  And they were holding their own.  They even managed a first place win last time, and it seemed like Dallas just might take Starr out on that date that he was talking about.   You know, after he paid his mom back for his education.

Instead, Dallas left his money and passport in a taxi during a Roadblock, which severely impacted their ability to get around Moscow.  The mother/son team determinedly trudged through the rest of the leg, but it was clear from their dispirited interviews that this move sealed their fate.   And I’m trying to be diplomatic about it – because, c’mon, leaving your money in the cab is a pretty BIG mistake – but I really want to stomp my foot to the ground and screech, “It’s not fair!”

Because it’s not!  Team Dandrew is sooooooooo much worse.  They went to the wrong park!  They had a speed bump which required Dan to use his really horrid coordination!  They’re wearing $100 shoes because they left their shoes at a theater two legs ago for no discernible reason!  They have consistently made boneheaded moves virtually every leg of this race.  And they’re annoying!!!

But Dallas makes one (really, really big) mistake and now I’m stuck with boneheaded frat boys and I’ll-forgive-you-but-I’ll-never-forget-Oh-wait-I’m-not-going-to-forgive-you-either Tina and her henpecked husband, Ken.

Whatever soft feelings I had for them are gone.  I get the feeling that Tina is willing to help anybody out (like, say, telling Dallas the answer to a puzzle in a Count The Russian Dictators Roadblock) except her husband.  This leg, Tina told the cameraman that Ken doesn’t put their “relationship foremost in his mind enough” and later said she’s looking at how important the relationship is to Ken and asking how important she is to him.  I gotta wonder. . .does she ever ask herself the same question?  It doesn’t look like it.

So this leaves Nick and Starr, who are in a pretty good place to win this thing.  This is a team that does appear to like each other, and know how to play to each other’s strengths – namely Nick’s ability to read big city public transportation maps and his ability to stay calm and collected when sis is totally wigging out.  This team has finished first 4 of the past 5 legs; they just got to do it one more.

But, um, Starr, if you do, y’know, win?  Could you take Dallas out on that date that he was going to take you out on?  And, more importantly, could you maybe take his mom?  That would make me feel soooooo much better. . . . .

See you at the finish line.

Season 13, Episode 10: You’re Gonna Get Me Killed (originally aired November 30, 2008)

For another take on this episode, check out The Hunt for Red & Yellow by Paul Secrest.

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS