House: Big Baby

This latest episode begins just as the pilot did, if I recall correctly: in a classroom.  In this classroom, a kid named Johnny is having trouble concentrating, then proceeds to spill green glitter all over a little girl’s snow drawing.  The girl then proceeds to wet herself (artists are always so temperamental).  But per the House formula, the corpse-waiting-to-happen is never what you see first, so you know these kids are fine.  And sure enough, the teacher starts coughing up blood and passes out.

Meanwhile, House arrives at work to find out what was intimated to audiences last week: that Cuddy has given Cameron her job as head administrator (and therefore chief foil for House) so that she can stay home and play mommy.   House is typically unfazed by Cameron’s new power, even when she gives him the file on the special needs teacher having problems keeping her blood to herself.

House’s team seems more concerned about Cameron’s appointment than House, and Foreman shows his amusement at the notion of House taking orders from Cameron.  In turn, House shows his amusement at how Thirteen and Foreman are vehemently disagreeing on how to diagnose the patient, knowing that it is a performance to cover up the fact that Foreman has “boldly gone where no man has gone before.”  Kutner and Thirteen begin treating the obnoxiously perky teacher, warning her that she better nip that good cheer in the bud if she encounters House.

House leaves the preliminary medical stuff to his underlings, as he is more interested in testing Cameron in her new role.  He does this by asking her to approve hitting his patient with radiation, even though he knows it is a premature step and has no intention of going through with it.  Cameron gives him permission, to House’s surprise.  Now House has to go back to the drawing board to figure out how to treat the patient.

Foreman meanwhile, has a real dilemma on his hands (besides not being able to come to terms with shaving off that disgusting patch of hair on his face).  He knows that Thirteen is getting the placebo-that is, a harmless medication prescribed more for the psychological benefit to the patient than the medicine-in the Huntington’s trial he is conducting.  That was always a fifty percent probability, but now that they’re uh…diagnosing each other horizontally after hours…he wants to put her on the real drug.  He asks Chase for advice, who tells him that it’s completely unethical and Foreman should know that.

Cuddy returns to the hospital ostensibly to question Cameron over why she granted House permission to do the radiation, though what she really is after is an excuse to come back to work and get out of Baby Land, because the rides are making her nauseous.  Cameron admits that she had no medical justification to grant House permission, but states that she had to say yes because she knew House wanted her to say no; she knew House was testing her.  Cuddy warns Cameron not to engage House because he will always win.

At this moment, House barges in to the office to talk to Cameron about the patient.  But during his visit, he finds the time to confront Cuddy about secretly hating her baby.  He tells her it’s not a big deal, suggesting she give back the kid since the adoption hasn’t even been finalized.  Cuddy replies, “Sure, I’m just going to go drop her off at the pound.” (Why not?)

Of course there are more complications with the patient (at one point House cuts off the top of her skull which was pretty cool), but they’re not that interesting, and I’m pretty sure that no one watches House to revel in medical jargon.  The main thrust of the episode consists of Cuddy struggling to adjust to becoming a mother, and Foreman going from person to person at the hospital, hoping someone will tell him it’s okay to manipulate the Huntington’s trial to give Thirteen the real drugs.  If you know Foreman, you probably know what decision he makes.

Overall this episode was serviceable but never approached the level of quality that House is often capable of.  I’m sure that the creative team behind House will try to make the next episode really strong, because it is the series’ 100^th, a landmark milestone.

Season 5, Episode 13: Big Baby (originally aired January 26, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out The One Where Cameron Wears That Suit by Robin Reed.

For more on House, click here.

House, Tuesdays 8/7c on FOX

Photographs courtesy of FOX Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro

House: The One Where Cameron Wears That Suit

First, some backstory.

I’ve been known to go to EW.com from time to time.  One feature of that site is something called the Ausiello Files, where one of their writers shares the “inside scoop” on various TV shows – spoilers and casting news and such.

I never read the Ausiello Files, because I am virulently anti-spoiler.  However, EW.com, in its infinite wisdom, doesn’t always care that some of its visitors may be anti-spoiler.  It doesn’t care that these visitors may expect that this mainstream entertainment news website will at least keep spoilers off its homepage, and it does not always require that people who do want to read spoilers should have to CLICK THROUGH to a page that is clearly labeled “SPOILERS HERE!”

Ahem.

So anyway, a few weeks back I went to EW.com to see what movies were doing well at the box office. (Okay, fine, I was checking on the Twilight numbers.  I want it to do well so that they’ll give them more money for the special effects in the sequels.  Which I also plan to see on opening night, just like I did the original.  So sue me, Campos.)  And there, right in the middle of the EW.com homepage, was a huge box that said “Ausiello Files!  Cuddy’s out, Cameron’s in!”

And I read that and went, “Huh.  Well, first of all, I did not want to know that.  And second of all, they couldn’t possibly mean that Cameron’s getting Cuddy’s job, seeing as how she is so dramatically not qualified for it.  So they must mean that, because House and Cuddy are over romantically, House and Cameron will start having romantic tension again.”

Now, I would argue that House and Cameron never really stopped having romantic tension, but that the writers simply decided to stop playing it up.  And, in my opinion, a little House/Cameron action might have actually led to an interesting storyline.  And that it also might, just might, mean Chase could have something to do, like in that one episode where he’s had screen time so far this season. (Which of course was an episode about Cameron.  Because there have been, I think, three episodes about Chase in the entire five seasons of this show.  Which, fine, I know it’s not an ensemble show and you don’t have to utilize the supporting cast members if you don’t want to, and God knows I don’t want to watch an episode about Kutner.  Even though I’ve seen enough episodes about Thirteen to last me another five seasons already.)

But no.  As the end of last week’s episode made clear, there would be no House/Cameron makeout scenes.  There would be no screen time for Chase.  Cameron was given Cuddy’s job, not Cuddy’s ex, and so there would only be cutely written House/Cameron argument scenes, and House playing games with Cameron, and Cuddy regretting this stupid decision. (Because, I mean, really.  She couldn’t have had Wilson take over for her?  He might, in the resume sense at least, be qualified for it.  And he certainly has the time on his hands.)

And actually, that’s fine.  I like Cameron.  I like House.  I like it when the two of them are on screen together.  Whatever her flaws may be, Jennifer Morrison has had fantastic chemistry with Hugh Laurie since the pilot.  And when the writers aren’t using Cameron to live out their what-if-this-was-still-1943-and-sexual-harassment-of-hot-female-subordinates-was-socially-acceptable fantasies, she can be a lot of fun to watch.

Also, with Cameron’s new job, I knew we’d get to see her with her hair combed and dressed in real clothes again.  Yay!  I was starting to think it was part of Olivia Wilde’s contract that Jennifer Morrison must be made to look as unattractive as possible so as not to distract the audience from Ms. Wilde’s freakish prettiness.  (Actually, come to think of it, Olivia Wilde’s contract could also be the underlying cause for Cuddy’s new haircut.  And I wouldn’t put it past her to be the reason behind Chase’s apparently glued-on surgical mask).

Anyway.  As you might’ve guessed by now, it was hard to pay attention to the patient this week, what with all these distractions.

Because the patient, a special-ed teacher with a bunch of random unexplained symptoms and a way-too-generous-personality, is a lot less interesting than the subplots.  There’s Cameron, yes, and her outfit (more on that in a sec), but more than that, there’s Cuddy and baby Rachel.

Because you see, poor Cuddy is suffering from something like postpartum depression, despite not having given birth.  She’s staying home and taking care of the baby, but she’s not happy; she’s waiting to feel an instant maternal connection and it’s not happening.  She even almost lets House talk her into giving Rachel up, and I was ready to get mad at the show again because I was afraid this baby was merely yet another stepping stone on our way to a House/Cuddy relationship, just when I was getting used to the idea that Cuddy was actually going to be allowed to mature as a character.

But finally, after a series of wrenching scenes (this show is wrenching scene after wrenching scene lately; what happened to our wacky Kutner/Taub adventures?), Cuddy and the baby bond, and Cuddy decides to keep her after all.  Then Cuddy gives Rachel to House to hold, and House is cute with her for a second, like he always is with babies, until she throws up on him.  But even that’s okay, because it gives him his eureka moment for the episode.  I’ll give the writers props – lately they’ve been coming up with some pretty creative eureka moments.

Meanwhile, House enjoys his extra time with Cameron, as do I.  She tries desperately, and hilariously, to act the way she thinks Cuddy acts.  House tries to throw her off her game by propositioning her, but she learned how to deal with that back in season 3, and she flirts right back just as inappropriately.  Then she does silly things like making House do extra tests to prove the necessity of doing all the ultra-dangerous procedures he wants to do (and then she lets him do them all anyway).

But, most amusingly of all, she shows up at the hospital wearing an awesome 80s-style blue suit that she obviously bought just for this gig.  It has enormous shoulder pads, with the collar buttoned way way up (maybe she’s trying to atone on Cuddy’s behalf for all those unprofessional low-cut tops).

Although across the board, clothing-wise, there was a lot happening this week.  Between House and Kutner’s stupid T-shirts, and Foreman’s pimp suits, and Thirteen’s too-casual, too-clingy sweaters, and Cameron’s aforementioned shoulder pads, Taub is the only person on this show who looks like an actual doctor.  Well, he’s also the only one I’d trust to so much as take my temperature, so I guess it fits.

Chase, despite his girlfriend’s new prominence on the show, still only gets one scene, but at least he gets to mostly show his face this time.  Although he still has that unfortunate scruff on it, and I guess Cameron used up all the hair-care products in the house because dude’s got some serious grease happening.  He spends his scene pretending to be friends with Foreman, because neither of them has any other friends.  You know, I love Chase, but I don’t think I’d be friends with him either.  Hey, maybe Chase and Foreman can bond over how it doesn’t bother them at all that House goes around hitting on their respective girlfriends all the time.

Also, Kutner stands up to House a lot in this episode, because Thirteen and Foreman are preoccupied and Taub’s turn to talk was last week.  Kutner doesn’t think Cameron is doing enough to rein in House’s insanity, so he tattles to Cuddy.  Then Cuddy, stressed out about her baby situation, tries to interfere during the most dangerous test of all by yelling at House over speakerphone so that everyone, including the understandably stressed-out patient, can hear.  This seems to trigger a really bad episode for the patient.  Then Kutner is pissed at House and Cameron, even though he’s the one who put Cuddy on speakerphone and caused this mess.

I don’t like Kutner, obviously, but it wasn’t until this episode that I realized Kal Penn is really pretty bad in this role.  His line deliveries are wooden and he only has two facial expressions.  And he already used them both up this week with his PSA for National Mentoring Month.

(By the way, I was trying to find that on YouTube to link to it, and I couldn’t.  But I did find about a million other videos of Kal Penn doing cool activisty stuff.  So now I feel bad for saying he’s not good on this show. But… it’s still true.  Look, I’m sure he was great as Kumar (although I haven’t seen that one myself), but I think TV drama just isn’t a good fit for him.)

In the end, Cameron quits after her first day on the job as the Cuddy-wannabe.  She and Cuddy conclude that Cuddy really is the only person in the world capable of managing House.  And so she has to go back to work, leaving Rachel with a nanny. (Wouldn’t it be easier to just fire House?  I know, I know.  But really.)

Also, Foreman and Thirteen have another subplot, as is their wont.  Last week Foreman figured out that she was getting the placebo instead of the real drug in their clinical trial, and now he’s all conflicted.  He wants to put her on the real drugs, but doing so would mess up the trial and jeopardize his career.  So House talks him out of doing it, but then adds, “Unless you love her,” and that gives Foreman pause.  Really? I know this is Foreman and all, but he’s really not willing to take a risk to help Thirteen live an extra few years unless he’s in love with her?

But no, this is just a storyline shortcut to show us that Foreman loves Thirteen (after all, they’ve been together for, like, three days, they’re totally meant to be).  So he puts her on the real drugs.  Also, Foreman actually calls Thirteen “Thirteen.”  And later “Remy.”  Which is interesting, because Chase and Cameron still call each other by their last names.  I wonder if they’ll ever stop or if their kids will grow up not knowing that that’s weird.

Oh, and right, the patient, Sarah: She has some heart defect that her heart should’ve fixed by itself when she was a baby but didn’t.  House figures this out after a series of ridiculous procedures, all approved by Cameron, that end with them sawing off Sarah’s skull.  But Sarah will be all better now.  They fix her heart. And House is sure that will cure her of her sweet personality, too, but it doesn’t, which makes House grumble.

Anyway, that’s more than enough for this week.  Oh, and hey, congrats to Hugh Laurie for that SAG Award.  Well deserved, my friend, well deserved.  Don’t worry, the Academy is bound to catch on eventually.

Season 5, Episode 13: Big Baby (originally aired January 26, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Big Baby by Cameron Cubbison.

For more on House, click here.

House, Tuesdays 8/7c on FOX

Photographs courtesy of FOX Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro

Friday Night Lights: Raw Pigeon and Boxer Briefs

This week, on Friday Night Lights: Nothing comes easy!  And holy cow, did I get a reaming from friends and co-workers because I’d never seen an episode before.  I’ve been threatened like I was Principal Taylor to catch up on back episodes immediately!  Also, one guy pointed out that a half-naked Lyla is just as important as a half-naked Tim Riggins (uh, I guess so), and I’ve been severely warned off lusting after Tim.  Like, my job could get uncomfortable, warned.  Since I feel the same way with The Rock (back off, ladies!), I’ll let it slide, but jeez.  I told you, you crazy fans were crazy!

And so!  Principal Tami Taylor still thinks that politics is something that only happens in Washington (sucker!), while senior Tyra understands the way elections work, and wins the fight for Student Council President by bringing in strippers and promising to help the student body get laid at prom.  I’d have voted for her too, but predictably, Principal Taylor does not approve.  She gives Tyra a very well-deserved lecture about self-respect and earning back Tami’s respect.  Tyra is properly chastised by her mother-figure.  Still president, but properly chastised.

You see, Tami Taylor continues the struggle to adjust her big dreams and starry eyes to the role of principal.  Her first major interview with the local paper goes horribly wrong, and celebrities in Hollywood collectively say, “I could have told you that.”  A simple interview shows up the next day as “New Principal vows to shake things up,” and it highlights Tami’s decision to allocate the JumboTron’s funds to academics.  Despite being married to the Coach, Mama Taylor still thinks that academics come before football.  I grew up in a less football-crazy high school up north, but even I can tell you that football outranked academics.  The guys in charge just tried harder to make it look like that wasn’t the case.  But at Dillon High School, no one bothers to pretend, which should make things much simpler.

The mayor stops by Tami’s office with a smug Buddy Garrity to ask Tami to reallocate the funds.  But Principal Taylor cannot be swayed in her righteous fight for the betterment of her students.  The mayor resorts to threats, and Buddy shows up at the Taylor home a few nights later to inform Tami that there’s going to be a public hearing to decide about the funds.  Despite the fact that in writing, the principal has the final say.  I see angst in Principal Taylor’s future.  Not helping matters, even Coach thinks she may have made the wrong choice for her first big stand against the status quo.

But who’s got time to delve into that train wreck of an argument?  Coach is back to spending his free time rehabilitating Smash.  Smash’s injury causes him to play tentatively now, but Coach is having none of that and tells his little all star to suck it up and be a man.  Coach = God, so Smash does.  At first, Coach is having a hard time holding up his end of the bargain and finding a school to take on Smash, but Coach = God, so he comes through.  In the waning minutes of the episode, he shows up at Smash’s house to deliver the good news that in two weeks, he’ll be walking on at Texas A&M.

But the good news stops there.  Poor Matt Saracen.  Though he leads his team to victory on the football field, a visit to his grandmother’s doctor reveals that Grandma is refusing to take her pills.  The doctor lays on the unfortunate reality that a stroke is likely imminent, as well as a full blown case of dementia.  Saracen’s going to have to play a larger role in taking care of her, but he can’t control her medication or what happens to her because he’s not her legal guardian.  He visits a lawyer who suggests becoming an emancipated minor so that he can legally become so.  Matt shies away, because it’d be nice to not have to take on such a heavy responsibility at such a young age.  College doesn’t look good if he’s caring for Grandma, and he has no desire to put her in a home.  When she tells him off at Applebee’s about taking her pills, he storms outside and runs into the newly employed Julie Taylor, who is significantly less annoying this week.

They chat a bit about the pressure he’s under with Grandma, and later, after visiting his estranged mother to have her sign the emancipation papers (this should go over real well if and when Dad makes it home from Iraq), he drives Julie home and they continue to bond.  Little Matty’s found a shoulder to lean on.

And I was all happy for him, because isn’t he just the cutest, saddest thing you’ve ever seen?  The moment between him and Grandma, when she breaks down and he realizes he must shoulder all that responsibility… Come on now.  But then, I learned that these two used to date and she dumped his ass for a hot older lifeguard.  WTH, Julie Taylor?  Just when I thought you weren’t a waste of good television time.  You broke Saracen’s heart?  Matt, what are you doing talking to this chick?  Their reconnecting is a great disappointment to me now.

Over in the beautiful, sexy world of Tim Riggins and Lyla Garrity, we open with a shirtless Tim (happy sigh) and a tousled Lyla (there you go, gentlemen).  Tim’s receiving letters of interest from colleges, which he’s keeping a secret.  But Lyla’s on the move to help him respond appropriately.

Slimy Buddy asks daughter Lyla to join him at a dinner with JD McCoy’s parents.  She invites Tim, since they are an item.  Buddy looks like he might split a vein, and I can only hope he does.  Sadly, he lives to the end of the episode, causing trouble for Principal Taylor along the way.  Tim agrees to dinner, only because he cares about Lyla.  Naturally, Tim’s not the networking, schmoozing type.  She helps him buy nicer clothes, and he begins to get the impression that she’s trying to change him.  Come see me, Mr. Riggins.  I won’t change a thing.  Just before dinner, Buddy threatens Tim to keep his hands off his daughter and don’t screw up Buddy’s ass kissing to JD’s dad.  Ironically, Buddy threatens the most violence over his relationship with Mr. McCoy, not his daughter.  I’m told Buddy can be a sympathetic character.  That should be a real turn around for me if it ever happens.

During the meal, Tim either freezes up whenever spoken to or deliberately chooses to be an ass.  I prefer to think this was a deliberate choice.  He orders raw pigeon, again because either he’s an idiot, or he just wanted to make a point.  Tough to say.  Lyla gets pissy with him for being stupid, he gets pissy with her for his not being good enough, and they break up.

Just kidding!  They make up a short while later when Lyla pops over to his house.  Only to find Tyra sitting on Tim’s couch with Tim in his boxer briefs (HOT!!) (shirt on and covering the goods, unfortunately.  Oh relax, he’s not really seventeen!).  Tyra’s being there is just a coincidence, and doesn’t ruin the make-up sex.  Which I presume will be happening shortly in Tim’s room.

And that’s it!  Props to J-Dizzle for being a human FNL Wikipedia and providing necessary background (way to almost fool me, Julie Taylor).  Also, I’ve heard all the unfairness talk about FNL never receiving Emmy nods.  Two episodes in, and I’d agree that Tami Taylor’s been robbed.  She’s as natural as they come and I’ve enjoyed every scene she’s in.  Same with Riggins, but obviously for different reasons.  Who cares if he can act?

Next week: Smash hasn’t gone anywhere yet, and Billy Riggins gets Tim in trouble.  Maybe they beat Buddy Garrity to death.  Let’s hope!

Season 3, Episode 2: Tami Knows Best (originally aired October 8, 2008 on DIRECTV)

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For more on Friday Night Lights, click here.

Fridays, 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC and IMDbPro

The Office: Some Light Filling

The Office is coming off a long series of “event” episodes.  Jim bought a house for he and Pam, Michael lost the only woman who made sense for him, Toby returned, Phyllis revealed the Dwangela affair, and then there was last week’s epitomic moment when Dwight threw away his Dwight bobblehead – what am I supposed to do with my replica now, NBC, huh?  What, now? – leaving Angela fiancé- and D-less.  And after next week’s Super Bowl, it’s going to be another event episode packed with celebrities and who knows what kind of mayhem.  So what to do this week?  Well, provide us all with a little light filler is what.  And what delicious filling it was.

Sometimes The Office is at its best when it’s about nothing at all.  This week, Michael and Dwight took a trip to a rival paper company to scout and possibly destroy the competition, and the rest of the Dunder Mifflinites spent the entire day debating the hotness of Hilary Swank.  Gotta love it.

The episode opened with my favorite Office thing: the Jim prank.  This week, Jim had attached a mysterious red wire to Dwight’s computer – a 500-foot long wire.  Dwight, who of course noticed the rogue wire, traced it all the way up a nearby telephone pole.  But don’t worry, he wouldn’t get hurt, after all, Jim made it up there.  Now that’s dedication.

Then it was time for Michael and his trusty right-hand man, Dwight, to head off undercover to scout out paper rival Prince Family Paper.  David Wallace – suddenly trusting Michael after his exceptional branch performance (how is that possible?) – sent Michael to feel out the nearby family-run paper company.  Michael entered the little paper shop pretending to be a local business man, a lawyer specifically, and actually did a pretty good job playing his role (considering it was Michael).  Michael also grew quickly fond of the friendly little family – moms, pops, son, and granddaughter – who own Prince Family Paper.

Dwight then entered with all the tact of a The Hills “star” and announced that he was looking for a job with the company.  Together Michael and Dwight wheedled away – not that it took much wheedling – a copy of the Prince Family Paper’s list of clients, complete with phone numbers.

The two of them were convinced that they’d pulled off the best dupe ever, until Michael gets too excited and drives over the divider.  Happy to help out and offer hot beverages, the Princes got Michael’s wheels up and running and gave Michael second thoughts about handing their clients over to David Wallace.  But ruthless Dwight set out to convince Michael that his heart is not always his best decision-maker.  Michael agreed – Jan and Ryan (HA!) had led him astray before.  Michael then feigned agreement with Dwight before running off with the list.  Unfortunately for Michael – and the Princes – Dwight really is fast and chased Michael down, stealing the offending list of names from him.  Michael eventually gave the names to D. Wall but felt so guilty about it that the writers officially have me liking Michael again after the last two weeks’ poor showings.  Bravo.

Meanwhile the rest of The Office was busy having a debate about the hotness of Hilary Swank, complete with power point presentations and moving orations.  Jim, Pam, Kelly, Creed, and Stanley think Hilary’s a hottie.  Kevin, Phyllis, Meredith, Andy, and Oscar are convinced she’s not.  Each character is given a wonderful moment to shine as they defend their positions.  Funniest include Kelly’s breakdown, crying that if Hillary Swank’s not hot, how can she, Kelly, be (hehe), Jim trying to seduce Kevin to the hot side with his sexy Hilary Swank make-out scenario story (speak dirty to me, Jim!), and Kevin’s assertion that after Boys Don’t Cry he just expected Swank to actually have some male equipment.  After Kevin’s remark, Angela quickly took Team Hot’s side (although “hot is a temperature people”), but Toby returned the teams to even again after concluding with a Toby shrug, not hot.

So how would they break the hot or not stalemate?  Well, Michael, of course.  After a day of rival paper people hunting, he returned to find absolutely no one working, but since he’s Michael he didn’t notice that.  What he did notice were the pictures of Hilary Swank posted on the walls.  “Hey, what’s this?” asked Michael.  “Hilary Swank,” said Jim.

“Oh, she’s hot,” said Michael.

Debate over.  See you at the Super Bowl folks.  Hope you enjoyed the filling.

Season 5, Episode 12: Prince Family Paper (originally aired January 22, 2009)

For more on The Office, click here.

Thursdays, 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC

Damages: Promising

Purcell probably didn’t kill his wife.  He tells Claire so in his car.  ‘Course, he also tells her that his wife didn’t find out about Claire, which we see from an immediate, orange-tinged flashback probably isn’t true.   But, as I noted last week, Purcell’s gotten pretty comfortable with hot pants, so I shouldn’t be surprised.

Of course, I should note that when Claire asked him directly, he responded, “I have nothing to do with this.”  Know what I call that?  An indirect answer to a direct question.  Satisfies Claire, however, who is clearly no Patty.

I haven’t yet mentioned in these reviews what I actually think about the season thus far, compared to last.  I have misgivings; the show lacks the dramatic heft of last season’s murder of David.  The question of who killed David and how it involved Ellen’s new job made for a great narrative arc last season, and I’ve been suspicious that with Ellen not the dewey-eyed ingénue and no victim who we know and kinda like, the show wouldn’t feel as, well, gripping.  But this episode calmed my misgivings, if not erased them.

I think this is because the central question poised at the beginning of the first episode, who will Ellen shoot (twice), completely faded into the background in episode three.  Instead, we got some dirt on Patty and Purcell’s past.  We found out that Purcell is indeed the father of Patty’s son Micheal (called it!) and that he was the witness for the defense in Patty’s first big case 10 years ago.  More importantly, Purcell threw the deposition at that time on purpose.

Presently, we learn that Purcell has been working with a reporter, who spent the episode in West Virginia investigating one of Walter Kendrick’s coal facilities.  Walter Kendrick, by the way, is the CEO of Ultima National Resources, and is essentially The Evil Corporate Genius Who Patty Must Take Down this season.  The reporter, a cutie who looks like what Bradley Cooper would look like if Bradley Cooper were playing Jimmy Olsen, asks some questions about a dead pig, snaps some photos, takes a water sample, and then is promptly jumped by two large guys wearing flannel (because they’re in West Virginia!  Get it?) who take his camera.  But they don’t appear to have taken the water sample, so looks like Bradley Cooper-lite will make it.

When the police question Purcell, we learn that Purcell’s wife issued a restraining order against Purcell 3 years ago.  The police are (naturally) suspicious.  They make a big deal of the fact that Purcell’s home was invaded twice, yet nothing was stolen.  Purcell tells them that his wife owned a ruby ring that she was not wearing when she died, suggesting that maybe the man whom Purcell describes as having been in his home, a man with blond, stringy hair, took it.

Happily, Patty fortifies her status as complete unemotional bad ass this week first, by snapping to Ellen “This isn’t law school” when Ellen asks to sit in on the police interview of Purcell because she doesn’t know much about criminal law, and second, by deliberately calling the police to warn them that Purcell wanted to leave the country when she believed, well, that Purcell was going to leave the country.  This left Purcell much more willing to tell the truth, and Patty knew it, and by having Purcell scared, she gets closer to the case she really wants – the one that will bring down The Evil Corporate Genius mentioned earlier.  She doesn’t know how much truth Purcell is really letting on, but she does know that the story he gave the police about his wife’s ring which has subsequently gone missing is at least partly true.  And we the audience know it too, because we see at the end of the episode a man with stringy blond hair go to a pawn shop with the ring, clutching his side in apparent pain on the way in and out.

And where’s Ellen in all this?  Well, Ellen’s taking a break.  You see, the FBI is a bit disappointed at the failure to get to Patty through Tom last week, so they pretty much just want her to lay low and gather information.  Which Ellen doesn’t want to do.  And that was pretty much it for her storyline this week, thus causing me to forget that the whole reason I’m watching the show is because I want to see who she shoots (twice) at the end of it all.

And that’s why I’m enjoying Season 2.  Last season, the writers rather deftly intertwined David’s death not only with Patty’s practice – and more importantly, Patty’s murky conscience – but also with the corporate malfeasance of the company Patty was up against.  And it worked – the show tied up its many loose ends in a clear, fairly straightforward manner that had just enough red herrings to prevent its audience from saying “I totally saw that coming.”  And, because the writers apparently know you don’t screw with what works, we might just get the same thing this season.  Right now, I have absolutely no idea how Ellen’s two shots in the first episode will relate to a false toxicology report issued by a global energy group, particularly as she’ s not even on the case right now.  But it’s got to, and I want to see how it plays out.

Season 2, Episode 3: I Knew Your Pig (originally aired January 21, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Not Guilty, I Think by Kaitlyn Edsall.

For more on Damages, click here.

Wednesdays at 10pm E/P on FX

Photographs courtesy of FX and IMDbPro

Damages: Not Guilty, I Think

After two suspenseful, twisty, and nasty episodes, Damages got a little overly-confusing this week and didn’t help me figure out who Ellen shoots six months from now.  But it did add a new hottie to the cast.  So you know, you win some, you lose some.  Unless, of course, you’re Patty Hewes; then you never lose.

Determined not to lose Daniel Purcell’s dirty info on environment-poisoning Ultima National Resources, who Patty plans to sue for billions, Patty prepares to defend Daniel in his murder trial.  However, it’s becoming harder and harder to believe Daniel’s innocence.  After the affair with Ultima’s lead counsel Claire Maddox, the revelation of his wife’s domestic abuse report and subsequent restraining order, the missing ruby ring he only notices under police interrogation, and the fishy flashbacks, I’m beginning to think he absolutely did kill his wife.  Patty too questions all Daniel’s stories and makes him take an inconclusive lie detector test.  Not that it matters to Patty, she’s just after his testimony, and she and Daniel have quite the secret history.

Ellen, still trying to dig up or create some incriminating proof of Patty’s bad behavior, tries to figure out the connection between Patty and Daniel.  And she’s a good little detective.  Ellen discovers that 10 years previously Daniel blew an opposing testimony for her.  Ellen thinks maybe Patty paid him.  But she can’t prove anything.  So she does a little more digging and visits her good friend Mr. Nye (who set her up with the FBI squealing job).  Mr. Nye lets her know that Patty and Daniel had worked on a case together 17 years ago.  Clever girl that she is, Ellen puts the pieces together and discovers Patty’s secret.  Patty didn’t pay him off, at least not with money.  Patty’s son, Michael, was born nine months after Daniel finished his testimony 17 years ago.  Daniel is Patty’s baby daddy.  And Ellen’s primed to exploit it.

Meanwhile, Daniel’s current lady love, Ultima’s lawyer/adulterer Claire Maddox, runs off to her bosses asking if anyone knows anything about Purcell’s dead wife.  Creepy Ultima business guy sure seems to be hiding something and suggests that Purcell’s not stable (which I’m thinking is sort of true).  Maddox runs off and secretly informs Purcell that his own people are turning on him.  Are they his own people?  Was he ever working with the Ultima guys?  I’m so confused.  Furthermore, Creepy Business Dude convinces CEO Dude, Walter Kendrick, that their Purcell/dangerous contaminate issues are over.  Kendrick isn’t so convinced (rightly so) and orders his peon to up the ante on the security at the coal plant in West Virginia.

What coal plant, you say?  Enter new hottie.  Out on a farm in West Virginia, show newcomer and reporter Josh Reston (Matthew Davis, also known as the guy who dumped Elle Woods), examines a dead prize pig. The scared owner doesn’t want to talk about the local livestock dying.  But Reston doesn’t give up.  He gives a call to his buddy, Daniel Purcell, who doesn’t answer and then goes to steal a sample of contaminated water from the coal plant.

Back in New York, scared/guilty/I can’t tell Daniel is trying to flee the country, but the police catch him at JFK and wheel him in to custody.  Patty goes to visit him behind bars.  He’s still skeptical of Patty’s motives (can you blame him?) and makes her sign a document committing herself as his lawyer for his murder trial.  Only then does he agree to give her the information she needs.  What does he have for her?  He tells her there’s a reporter in West Virginia she needs to meet.

Flash to hot journalist Reston getting beaten to a pulp by Kendrick’s “security.”  Guess Patty will have to talk to someone else.  Yikes.

Flash back to Patty’s office.  Tom wants to know how the cops knew Purcell would flee.  She tells him she had her own guy watch him.  The cops sure love anonymous tips, and people always talk when they’re behind bars.  Wow, Patty, cold.  Patty’s also still not convinced of Purcell’s innocence, but she does recall Purcell’s wife wearing that ruby ring the night she was killed.  She wants to know what happened to it.

Flash to a pawn shop with a scraggly, blond haired man selling off the ruby ring.  It looks like Purcell’s story actually pans out.

He’s innocent after all … I think.

Season 2, Episode 3: I Knew Your Pig (originally aired January 21, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Promising by Alana D.

For more on Damages, click here.

Wednesdays at 10pm E/P on FX

Photographs courtesy of FX and IMDbPro

Battlestar Galactica: Sowing the Seeds of Discontent

This week on Battlestar Galactica we have a character development episode.  These are usually hit or miss with me because I generally disfavor episodes that don’t advance the overall storyline.  This week, though, picked up from last week as we see how the colonials begin to cope with the reality that they have been led for the past four years with the hope of Earth, only to have that hope shattered by reality.

The civilians are growing restless with the leadership of Adama and Roslin over two missteps: Lee accidentally slipping that they know who the fifth Cylon is and Adama’s consideration of a proposed permanent alliance with the rebel Cylons (in exchange for technological upgrades to their FTL drives).  Roslin, meanwhile, has flipped out and decided she is no longer going for medical treatment or to play the role of the dying leader, wanting to enjoy however long she has left alive.  In this power vacuum, Vice President Zarek foments dissent on the Quorum and secretly arranges for a mutiny on the tillium ship.  When Adama tries to quash the mutiny, the ship jumps away from the fleet.  Adama arrests Zarek and, after bluffing evidence of Zarek’s corruption, gets him to reveal the location of the ship.  Athena leads the effort to successfully return the ship to the fleet.

On Galactica, Gaeta, frustrated by the growing presence of Cylons on Galactica, routinely skirts the line of insubordination with Adama.  Still ticked about losing a leg due to Kara, he confronts her with trying to throw him out of an air lock for collaborating with the Cylons on New Caprica.  He points out the irony that two of the people on his “jury” were Cylons and she was married to a Cylon.  She’s not interested in hearing about his sob story or how he doesn’t like that she’s married to a Cylon.  Gaeta’s only stirring up trouble, though, as he threatens Kara in front of other crew members.  They all seem to share his anger, especially after she won’t give him a “pity frak.”  Latter day prophet Gaius Baltar joins in stirring the pot by condemning God for abandoning his children, demanding God come down and beg for humanity’s forgiveness.  Um, good luck with that one.

The interests of Zarek and Gaeta converge when Gaeta visits him in the brig and agrees to help bring about the change we have been waiting for.  Oh wait, not that kind of change . . . mutiny, sedition, and insurrection.

In other news,

• Saul Tigh is excited that he and Caprica-Six are having a baby as they see the first ultrasound of their baby.  This relationship makes even more sense and seems even deeper that we thought now that we know he’s always been in love with another blonde Cylon, Ellen…
• Tyrol learns from Doc Cottle that his son is not really his son (or a half-Cylon).  Instead, Callie was pregnant by “Hot Dog” (Lieutenant Brendan Costanza) before she married Tyrol.  This means that Hera is the only known human-Cylon being, which only reminds us of the important–but unknown–role she still has to play in the series.
• And Roslin and Adama stop worrying about doing their jobs and opt to live for the moment with a little afternoon delight.

Next week, we find the Galactica in open rebellion as people are shocked to learn what Roslin really looks like without any hair.

Season 4, Episode 12: A Disquiet Follows My Soul (originally aired January 23, 2009)

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For more on Battlestar Galactica, click here.

Sci Fi, Fridays at 10/9c

Photographs courtesy of Sci Fi and IMDbPro

The J Factor Episode 4

Episode #4 – January 27, 2009 – The “Lost” Episode.  The pair talk about the season premiere of Lost, shirtless men, and Harry Potter.

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Lost: Gotta Go Back In Time

[Author's note: I approach this show like I'm in free fall from a non-Oceanic Airlines flight.  The writers are taking me on a journey and, while Season 3 suggests otherwise, they have a plan and will resolve what we need to know by the time the show goes off the air.  So to that end, I'm not going to try to answer or to make sense of everything.  I'll raise some questions, though, that come to me as I watch (and maybe a theory or two), but otherwise, I hope we can enjoy together the continuous mystery and piecing together of the puzzle that is Lost.  And so it begins...]

Last time, the Oceanic Six return, Sayid rescues Hurley from the crazy house, Sun conspires with Charles Widmore, Kate no like Jack, and Ben and Jack visit a dead John Locke.

It is 8:15 A.M., an alarm goes off, and a record comes on playing, “Shotgun Willie” by Willie Nelson and it skips on “if you can’t play the record” while the mystery man, later revealed to be Pierre Chang/Dr. Marvin Candle, gets ready.  We see a baby and a woman who looks familiar to me.  We are on the Island, sometime in the past.  Candle is filming the orientation film for the Arrow Station.  Someone comes in and tells Candle he needs to head to the Orchid Station.  They were cutting into the wall but the drills keep breaking–sonar reveals an open chamber with a big wheel.  It’s the mystery wheel!  Candle explains the large amount of energy behind the wall that, if harnessed, can be used to manipulate time.  But no, they won’t go back and kill Hitler because there are rules.  He leaves in a huff and bumps into . . . Daniel Faraday.  Duh duh duh!

Flash forward to the funeral parlor as Ben explains that he and Jack need to get the others back to the Island.  They steal Locke’s coffin and head to a hotel for Jack to clean up.  (Question: If Jack was too lazy to shave his face, how has he had time to keep up with his manscaping?)  Ben last saw Locke alive when we did–before Ben turned the mystery wheel and wound up in Tunisia and the Oceanic Six escaped.  Jack saw Locke more recently and was told that everyone who was left on the Island would die if the Oceanic Six didn’t come back.  Jack does not know what happened to them after they left.

Flash back to three years earlier: Ben turned a wheel.  But we knew that already.  The flash of light caused the Others who were with Locke to disappear while Locke stayed in the same place.  The folks coming back on the Zodiac raft were also absorbed into the Island’s radius.  On the beach, Sawyer’s shirt got sucked away, Rose and Bernard were looking for each other, and their settlement camp is gone.  Turns out the castaways moved back in time to before their plane crashed, at least according to Faraday’s explanation to Sawyer.

We flash forward to Kate and her “son” Aaron.  Two men show up with court papers saying they are entitled to a blood sample from Aaron to test his relation to Kate.  She sends them away and, fearing someone will find out the truth about Aaron not being her son, they do what Kate does best: hit the road.

Back on the island, Faraday thinks Sawyer’s a sexy beast and won’t loan him a shirt.  Sawyer, not pleased with the lack of explanations, slaps Faraday.  Faraday explains the Island is like a skipping record only the skipping is through time (remember Candle’s skipping record?).  Oooh, just like the record from the beginning of the episode.  But wait, Locke is still unaccounted for.  He’s walking back to camp when the Nigerian drug smugglers fly in on their plane.  Was the discharged energy the reason why they crashed (just like the Oceanic 815)?  Something to ponder while we watch Locke look for any survivors.  But before he can climb up to the plane, good old Ethan shoots him in the leg.

Locke pleads with Ethan not to kill him, but before Ethan can kill him or Locke can doing anything, there’s another flash of light and Locke quantum leaps into a 1960s housewife.  Oh boy!  No wait, he just is in the jungle alone at night.

Flash forward to Sun in an airport on the way to Los Angeles where she is locked in a room because she didn’t 3-1-1 her cosmetics.  Charles Widmore explains he tampered with her cosmetics because she wasn’t nice to him when she asked for his help in London.  She reminds him, though, that they still have a common interest: kill Ben.  Across town, Ben is watching television in his hotel room and sees a news report that Hurley killed someone and escaped from his hospital . . . to get fast food take out with Sayid.

After some burgers, Hurley and Sayid go back to Sayid’s safe house and there’s a cool fight where Sayid kills two men but gets shot with a tranquilizer dart.  People watching from the parking lot, though, think Hurley killed the men because he picks up a gun and has what looks like blood all over his robe–turns out it’s just ketchup, which ha ha look at the fat person with food on himself.  Hurley freaks out and takes off with an unconscious Sayid.

On the island, Sawyer is still searching for a shirt as the producers are searching for more female fans.  They come to the hatch but it’s gone so Faraday spells out for those at home that they are now at a point after Oceanic 815 crashed.  Faraday takes this time to explain the rules of Lost time travel: You can travel forward and back in time (like on a string) but you can’t change events.  But for all his studying of time travel and the Dharma Initiative, Faraday doesn’t know how to stop them from moving around on what I am calling the String-Time Continuum(tm).

We cut to Locke in the jungle, struggling with his bullet wound.  A stranger is approaching him with a torch.  But fear not, it’s Richard and his eyeliner-free eyes.  Richard tends to Locke’s gunshot wound, which he learned about from Locke (or at least Locke will tell him in the future, or rather the past–it’s all relative).  Locke is confused (me too) but Richard doesn’t have time to explain.  Natch.  Richard tells him the island will fix his leg but that the next time he sees Richard he should give him a compass so Richard will know who he is.  Richard then gives Locke a compass and ends by saying the only way to stop the time shifts is to bring the Oceanic Six back to the island . . . by dying.  Huh?  Anyway, Locke does a jump to the left and time warps back to shortly after the Nigerian plane crashed.

As Juliet explains the hatch to Miles, they jump back in time to when the hatch still existed.  Out of frustration, Sawyer wants to show off his new tan to Desmond and marches to the hatch entrance.  As Sawyer bangs on the door, Faraday explains that Desmond can’t hear him because they’ve never met before.  They head back to the beach, but Faraday stays to see if he can talk with Desmond.  And he can, after all Desmond is his constant (and they’ve met before).  Desmond busts out of the hatch but does not recognize Faraday.  Faraday tells Desmond that if he actually left the island on the helicopter, he needs him to go find Faraday’s mother at Oxford.  Of course Faraday jumps before we get her name.

In the future, Desmond wakes up with Penelope and has a memory of his conversation with Daniel.  Now let’s pause because this is confusing to me.  How did he only just remember this but did not remember it when he met Faraday when Faraday arrived on the island last season?  Anyway, Desmond and Penelope are on a boat and Desmond announces they have to get to Oxford.

END EPISODE 1.

***INTERMISSION***

BEGIN EPISODE 2.

The Oceanic Six have just been rescued by Penelope’s boat and they are deciding what to tell the rest of the world about what happened to them.  All but Hurley want to lie about what happened so they can protect everyone left on the island from Widmore.  Hurley predicts he will go crazy lying for the rest of his life.  He promises that one day when Sayid needs him, he won’t help.  Boy do I hate Hurley-centric episodes.

Flash forward three years to Hurley making his escape with Sayid.  He gets pulled over for reckless driving and it’s Ana Lucia!  She asks why he stopped but it doesn’t matter because she’s not real.  She gives him some pointers on how to stay out of the spotlight, including staying away from cops and not getting arrested.  I’m sure she learned those tips from personal experience.  Anywho, she heads off and Hurley continues on to his parents’ house.

On the Island, Rose and Bernard bicker over how to start a fire.  Neil Frogurt, who speaks–I think–for the first time, figuratively pisses on their effort and then Sawyer takes an extra shirt from Neil.  Speaking of shirts, Neil’s is red, and those in the know, know what that means.  Faraday does not know when they will jump again.  Juliet suggests they leave on the Zodiac raft but Faraday first needs to calculate a bearing after figuring out when, not where, they are.

In Los Angeles, Kate gets a call from Sun.  They meet and there’s no apparent purpose except Sun shares that she doesn’t blame Kate for what happened to Jin (i.e., them leaving him on the freighter that exploded).  But don’t worry, I don’t think he’s really dead.

In Ben’s hotel room, he gives Jack a quick lesson in rehab and throws out Jack’s pills.  He tells Jack to go pack a suitcase to take back to the Island because he’s never coming back to L.A. (lucky!).  They’ll meet up in six hours after Ben does something with Locke’s body.  Jack asks if Locke is dead.  We don’t get an answer, so that’s a yes.  Ben takes Locke’s body to a butcher, Jill, to see if everything is going according to schedule.  Jill needs to keep Locke’s body safe while Ben does what he does.  And Jill’s not alone: Gabriel and Jeffrey, whoever they are, already checked in with her.

Hurley’s father is eating caviar and lox on a bagel while watching Expose! (nicely done, writers).  Hurley shows up with Sayid, and his father freaks out about what happened.  This storyline isn’t complicated but in short his father trusts him and helps him evade the police.  He tracks down Jack and hands off Sayid to him.  Meanwhile, Hurley confides in his mother the truth of what happened on the island.  It’s the highlight of the episode as it’s how a confused second-grader would explain the last four seasons of this show; Hurley’s mother doesn’t understand what he’s saying either but she trusts it makes sense.  (Is this a little joke with the audience?)  In the end, Ben shows up to take Hurley away but Hurley throws a wrench in the plan by running out of the house to confess to the police that he murdered people.  They take him away as Ben recedes into the shadows.

Back on the island, Charlotte’s having nose bleeds and Faraday looks concerned.  Neil is still freaking out over everything and as he’s shouting about Bernard’s inability to make fire, he gets an arrow of fire shot into his chest.  The Frogurt King is dead.  Long live the Frogurt King!  The castaways run as fiery arrows rain down on them; some more extras died but the characters with names get away.  Sawyer and Juliet get separated from the group and jump in time, finding hostile British soldiers pointing guns at them.  They want to cut off Juliet’s hand but then Locke appears and kills them all.  (So under the Lost time travel rules, was Locke killing those guys a change in history?)

We cut back to the mainland where a cloaked woman is making calculations on a chalkboard as a pendulum swings back and forth.  Her outdated computer shows a map of the Earth and flashes “Event Window Determined.”  Oh I get it, it’s Professor McGonagall and she’s trying to transmogrify into The Monster!  Before she does that, though, she walks upstairs and sees Ben lighting a novena.  We see her face and it’s Ms. Hawking, who tells Ben he only has 70 hours to get everyone back on the island, otherwise, “God help us all.”

And I think we’ll need that kind of higher help if we’re to understand what’s going on here.

P.S. Libby says hello.

Season 5, Episodes 0, 1, and 2: Destiny Calls/Because You Left/The Lie (originally aired January 21, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Goin’ Rogue and Shirtless by Robin Reed.

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For more on Lost, click here.

Wednesdays, 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC

Grey’s Anatomy: Hospital or House of Horrors?

This last episode of Grey’s Anatomy was both gory and touching, if that makes any sense.

When we last left Seattle Grace, Shepherd’s death row patient was pounding his head against a steel bar, trying to kill himself so that Bailey’s pediatric patient Jackson could be a donor recipient of his organs.  Meredith allows the man to injure himself, rather than calling Derek to save him – a clear breach of medical ethics.  When Bailey finds out, rather than accept the situation and the organs, she tells Meredith to fulfill her duty to the patient and give him the best medical care, saying that they are not executioners.  However, as Jackson’s condition becomes bleaker with each passing moment, Bailey reconsiders her stance.  In another moment of discarded ethics, she implores Derek, who is in the middle of operating on the man’s brain, to stop trying to save his life so that she can get the organs for Jackson.  Derek appears willing to let Bailey make a most barbaric judgment call, but at the last minute her sanity returns and she allows the surgery to continue.  Jackson’s death seems imminent, but at the eleventh hour another set of organs becomes available.  So all’s well that ends well with him, but Meredith and Derek clash over what would’ve been the appropriate course of action.  Meredith, as Izzie so frequently does, allowed herself to become too close to a patient.  She goes so far as to promise the man that she will attend his execution, so that when he gazes out into the gallery he will see at least one friendly face.  Talk about inappropriate.  She keeps her promise and is devastated after witnessing his lethal injection. She and Cristina are still on the outs, but after Derek explains the situation to her, she goes to Meredith and it seems as if they will be able to reconcile.

Back at the hospital, Bailey acknowledges that after a long, emotionally-draining day, she crossed the line.  All in a day’s work at Seattle Grace, where there is never a dull moment.  The show continues to push the envelope with risqué storylines, and this episode was no exception.  Little Lexie and Mark continue their affair, but things come to a screeching halt when he suffers a most unfortunate coital injury.  Lexie has broken his bone. Callie will probably be able to fix it, but in the meantime word circulates around the hospital that the old sword was bent in the act.  Lexie tries to keep their tryst under wraps, and Sadie confesses to being the one who injured Mark.

Cristina and Dr. Hunt continue their awkward foray into dating. He showed up hammered for their first date and ended up passing out in her bed. She accepts his apology but is reluctant to proceed because he clearly has issues.  I think they’re perfect for one another.  So are Alex and Izzie, who has finally given Denny the boot.  I’m glad that this absurd storyline appears to be at its conclusion, and it was strange to watch their blow-up at the end of the episode. I just didn’t “get it.”  One character who has been woefully short on lines lately is O’Malley.  I’m not sure what the writers are doing with his character, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find that he’s no longer at Seattle Grace next season.  It will be interesting to see how the show continues to sustain itself, and I look forward to it. I hope the writers still have something left in the tank.

Season 5, Episode 13: Stairway to Heaven (originally aired January 22, 2009)

Wanna know more about this episode of Grey’s?  Check out Inisia Lewis’s review, All About George. Kidding! here.

For more Grey’s Anatomy reviews, click here.

Thursdays 9/8c on ABC
Photographs courtesy of ABC

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