Survivor: Gabon: Season of the Underdog

If Survivor: Micronesia was the stupidest season of Survivor yet, then Survivor: Gabon was the season of the underdog. Who would have though that Bob, Susie and Sugar would make it to the final three or that Kenny or Crystal would make it as far as they did, and by being the masterminds, nonetheless? Survivor threw a lot of curve balls this season and kept the audience on its feet as much as the players.

The truth is, I can’t say that this season intrigued me as much as last season. I guess the fact that there were actually relatively nice people in the final three might be a testament to how uneventful Gabon was. Sure there was a little backstabbing, but there was a lot more complaining. And when people got sneaky, let’s just say it never panned out in the most interesting way.

There were three members of the Fang tribe in the final five, and if you didn’t keep up with this season, the Fang tribe was the one that sucked so bad that they almost made me cry. They lost almost every challenge and barely won an immunity, so basically this season had very little to do with actual skill or physical prowess.

The Survivor Gods also planned to keep us on our toes. Just when the players felt they had an idea about what was about to happen, BAM! Our players definitely thought there was going to be a merge, but was there? No. Just another team switcheroo. They also had them switch up teams during a task where they had to rank eachother. Who would have thought the task would end up sealing their fate? There was also one tribal council that was times two. Two immunities, two tribal councils and two people sent home. In your face survivors!

However, we must highlight the moments, the players and the one liners this season that were such great entertainment that they cannot be denied.

THE MOMENTS
5.) Crystal spilling the bag of rice. There’s nothing worse than wasting the only edible commodity in the jungle. Seeing everyone act like it wasn’t  a big deal and Crystal scooping up dirty rice back into the bad was priceless.

4.) Kenny tried to sneakily read a message about an immunity idol found when all of the players were feasting on the beach. Somehow the group was convinced to chuck the idol in the water instead of duke it out over who gets it. What next? Should we sit in a big circle and sing Kumbaya?

3.) Sugar set the Survivor record for most consecutive visits to Exile Island. Not to mention the fact that she found the hidden immunity idol on her first try. Didn’t anyone notice that she kept coming back looking refreshed, energized and a little plumper while they all looked sickly, weak and starving?

2.) Randy got played real bad when he was ousted with a fake idol. He trusted Bob to save his butt and accepted an “idol” believing it to be real. After being voted out, he attempted to play it, only to find that it was handmade by Bob.

1.) Speaking of Bob’s shining moment of the entire season…When Bob was on Exile Island, he ingeniously devised a plot. With shells, sticks and tar/amber/some sticky scientific substance, Bob made the best looking a fake idol I’ve ever seen. Even I couldn’t dream up something so sneaky.

THE PLAYERS
5.) Corinne – The unapologetic girl with a mouth on her. She acted like she was never mean, but man have I never heard behind-the-back, smack talk like this girl dished out.

4.) Sugar – She seemed sweet as apple pie, but this pinup model proved she was no dimwit.

3.) Kenny – He proclaimed himself the best player in the game. Only he didn’t seem to see that the way he played was pretty weak.

2.) Randy – He decided that he’d play the evil card. Don’t ask me why since the evil card never won anyone any friends, nor did it make for funny TV.

1.) Bob – The sweet, science teacher was the old man of the game. He had the brains to create fire with rock and a flint. He had the endurance to roll on a log and stand taller than everyone else. And he got down and sneaky when he needed to. The hands-down winner this season, he managed to outplay, outwit and outlast the rest.

THE ZINGERS
5.) “You are a disgusting, old, hotheaded, chauvinistic, alcoholic bigot and you need to grow up before you die alone.” – Sugar (of Randy)

4.) “Sasquatch is Crystal, which is also Big Foot, which is also T-Rex.” – Randy

3.) “He’s socially inept. Was he a former fatty?” – Corinne (of Dan)

2.) “I hate her. I want to stab her in the face! She’s loco en la cabeza!” – Susie (of Corinne)

1.) “The small print at the bottom of the contract was ‘I help you, you help me,’ not, ‘I help you, you stab me in the back.” – Bob (to Kenny)

Survivor: Tocantins — The Brazilian Highlands will premiere on Thursday, February 12 at 8PM ET/PT on CBS.

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Photographs courtesy of CBS .