American Idol: Hollywood Round One

One-hundred forty-seven have made it to Hollywood. (Thank you, American Idol, for doing the math for me.) Things are a little different this season. All of the contestants participated in an American Idol boot camp where they got their hair and make-up done, stylists’ tips, and time vocal coaches.  They also got a visit from Barry Manilow!

I noticed that the American Idol producers are attempting to drag some of the magic of the big show into the Hollywood auditions this season. They allowed the wishful singers to audition at the Kodak Theater on Hollywood Blvd. instead of their usual getup in the Valley. They’ve also focused more time on the contestants as groups.  The producers are clearly responding to the fans’ desire to see and know the contestants beyond their time on the stage and their silly interviews. (I guess that, also, translates into more advertising time because we got to see a lot of happy, sunny people rolling around in Fords and blasting their radios.)

This year, the first round consists of the contestants performing a capella in groups of eight. After each member of group sings a song of their choice individually, the group is told who is out or onto the next round.  (I know this setup was stolen from So You Think You Can Dance, except not making the viewers endure those stage steps over and over again.)

Lets get down to it. Most people tonight can sing, so there’s really no horrendous or strange. There’s just amazing, great, good and okay. No more gags. It’s only the ones that get through that matter. Not everyone, even the greats, can pass the test, but there are still some viable contenders to look out for on the big stage. Let’s see if we can weed some of them out.

Lil Rounds

Judges: She gets a standing ovation from the ladies.

Moi: Powerhouse

Anoop Desai

Moi: Amazing! Amazing! Amazing!

Steven Fowler

Judges: He sang one of the hardest Stevie Wonder songs and nailed it.

Moi: He reminds me of John Legend.

Von Smith

Judges: Simon thought it was “indulgent nonsense.”

Moi: One of my favorites, but he overdid it. I don’t think the judges can deny his talent though.

Jackie Tohn

Judges: She’s wild and memorable.

Moi: With that throaty voice, I concur. Will you be my new BFF? You say terrible like I say terrible! TERREEEBLAY!

Hollywood Round Two

Thirty-six contestants will make it, and we’re only seventy-one rejects away. The group round is back. Duh duh duh!!!! Combine a lack of sleep with desperation, dramatic personalities, and an abundance of nervous energy and contestants will crumble. But where there’s failure, there’s also triumph, and although we lost a few good ones during the crazy week, there’s still a ton of powerhouses left to get excited about.

This week’s American Idol was more like an episode of The Real World. There was way more drama and a lot less singing. The contestants weren’t put into groups, but were allowed to choose their own. That’s like putting a gun up to someone’s head and forcing them to pull the trigger for some of our contestants. One of them being Tatiana Del Toro, an early auditioner who definitely didn’t get through on her kooky choreography. Unsurprisingly, she couldn’t find a single person to partner up with. (The way she laughs, she reminds me of the hyenas in The Lion King or like she’s been hitting the laughing gas at the dentist office to much.) After she pushes her way into a group, she commences to act like a mini dictator which doesn’t bode well with her teammates who begin to push her away. Feeling rejected, Tatiana balls her way into another group. (Why would you even consider taking a clearly emotional potentially unstable girl onto your already formed team?) If they would have listened to my advice, Group Dumb Move would have seen what came next. Tatiana ran back to her first group and begged her way back in which, of course, instigated a fight between her and the new team. (I don’t think she even said bye!) Oh the drama!

Tatiana’s bad energy rubbed off on Team Dumb Move because Kristen McNamara didn’t want to work, Nathaniel Marshall stormed out crying, and Nancy’s ‘tude alienated everyone. One of my favorites, Rose Flack, wanted to shoot herself after pairing up with Bikini girl and a lot of other high maintenance beeyotches. (Don’t do it Rose. Lip gloss and push-up bras do not make an American Idol.) After a barely competent rehearsal, Bikini girl Katrina left to go to bed and cry, and come wake-up time, Katrina seems to have given up entirely. That is until she shows up at the last minute to a very shocked and P.O.-ed team.

Finally, it’s showtime. Enough with all the catfights and brouhaha, I want to hear some singing. Here are a few Shooting Stars and the Black Holes of tonight’s competition.

Shooting Stars

India Morrison, Matt Giraud, Justin Williams and Kris Allen, i.e. Team White Chocolate sing “I Want You Back” a capella with beat boxing and rap. It’s a great concept, and Seacrest got it right. “All the contestants are cheering now, but on the inside they’re saying, ‘Damn! I wish we were that good.”

Danny Gokey, Jamar Roger, Taylor Vaifanua, aka Team Rainbow Coalition, also sing an a capella song, “Somebody to Love.” There are fantastic harmonies and it’s a brave choice.

Some of our favorites’ groups didn’t do so well, but they couldn’t be ignored. Jeremy Michael Sarver was soulful. Adam Lambert was bluesy, and Jesse Langseth was funky.

Black Holes

Alex Wagner-Trugman, Ryan Pinkston, Anne Marie Boskovich, and Emily Wynne-Hughes, aka The Action Squad, spent more time perfecting their team cheer and their cheesy choreography than learning the song.

Lauren Barnes, Katrina Darrell, Rose Flack, Jasmine Murray, i.e. The Divas are rough. Jasmine clearly has a divine voice, but my little Rose forgets the words. Katrina clearly needed more practice, and I completely forget Lauren, making Jasmine the only one to survive the slaughter.

Tatiana’s team not only bombs, but she continues to sing even after the judges shushed them which would really grate on my nerves if I was a judge. Yet somehow it saves them all.

Team Dumb Move, aka Team Compromise, sang Duffy’s “Mercy,” and they sure needed some. It was so bad, the judges felt like they sabotaged themselves.

Seventy-five people made it through to the final day of Hollywood, but we’ll have to wait until next week to really get the whole picture of who made it and who didn’t. Group Week is like the dreaded second week of The Biggest Loser. It can take out some of the best. At least, we’re lucky there are so many great singers this year.

Season 8, Episodes 8-9: Hollywood (originally aired February 3-4, 2009)

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Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company