Confessions of a Shopaholic

Confessions of a Shopaholic, based on the Shopaholic series created by Sophie Kinsella, is that feel good, fluffy kind of film so it’s hard to be angry at the fact that I just sat through a predictable and unrealistic film without any real plot. I assume that’s supposed to be the charm of the movie with its animated mannequins and bright haute-couture but I wasn’t exactly ready for the ride through fantasyland when I sat into those cushy theater seats.

Part of the reason I’m so on the fence with this film, is the sheer absurdity of the storyline. Rebecca Bloomwood, played by the beautiful, engrossing and enchanting Isla Fisher, is that girl my parents always warned me to stay away from or her naive, fiscal irresponsibility might rub off on me. Put a credit card in the hands of a female who’s easily distracted by anything bright, shiny, lacy or luxurious and you’ve entered the danger zone. I can’t say Confessions isn’t timely. Compare the current fiscal crisis with Rebecca’s little $16,000 setback, and you basically have a 20something’s Guide to Screwing Up the Economy.

Rebecca is like a lot of people my age. We want everything now, and we’re willing to sell our left kidney to get it. If it fits into our idea of the perfect life, we need to have it no matter what. Of course, they are others like me, who don’t need the hottest dress, the newest designer bag or five-inch Manolos. My idea of a fairytale would be a shorter workweek so that I could travel more, but to each his own.

Luckily for our protagonist, she’s always in the right place at the right time. She loses her job at a magazine she hates, only to become the next big thing at a Money magazine that she may hate even more. The magazine happen to be run by a dreamy editor(Hugh Dancy),  a cross between the charisma of Hugh Grant and the subtle sexiness of Orlando Bloom. Her best friend, played by the pouty Krysten Ritter, has achieved her own fairytale in the shape of an impending wedding, but her buddy is too busy becoming the next IT columnist to notice her shopping addiction is hurting everyone around her, especially the ones who care about her the most.

The best part of the film is the endless commitment all the way from the actors to the director and down to the costume designer (Patricia Field). Even if I would never wear a Rebecca outfit, I appreciate the imagination that went into such a creation that epitomizes the kooky character. The director P.J. Hogan (My Best Friends Wedding) doesn’t spare a moment, filling the screen with fantasy and fun, flops and falls. And the actors, especially the smaller parts of the parents (Joan Cusack, John Goodman) and her addiction therapy group, dive face first into their out of this world characters. (They get the most laughs of course.)

I laughed out loud more than once, so you could say, overall, it was a success, but I think part of reason the film doesn’t appeal to me is because, in my mind, certain characters just don’t translate from the pages of a novel to the big screen. Imagine Rebecca like a Bridget Jones, which shouldn’t be to hard since the author is actually British and our heroine was actually born across the pond.

Rebecca and Bridget share one major thing, their neurosis are what endear them to us. The Bridget Jones’ Diary films were a riot because, as a woman, no matter how ridiculous the situation, you connected with her desires and her imperfections. Though I’m sure there are a million girls (and boys!) out there who have put their cards on ice only to damage their linoleum floors breaking it free whether for a pair of shoes or an XBOX 360, I know I’m not one of them. It was hard to take the film seriously as a romantic comedy whereas I felt Jones and her relationship woes could have fit into my life seamlessly, in spite of all the extra cheese.

Fortunately, Confessions doesn’t take itself to seriously either. Even though I could have saved my AMC gift certificate and rented this one on Blockbuster Online, there’s no way in hell I could walk away from such a cotton candy flick feeling angry. So good for you Confessions of a Shopaholic because you don’t want to make me angry. Just ask The Avengers movie. It’s not a pretty sight.

Check out Robin’s review here!

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The Amazing Race: More Cheese, Please.

I suppose I should start with the teams.  Like Christie and Jody, the blonde flight attendants whose knowledge of travel didn’t extend to asking for a train’s arrival time as well as its departure time.  I could talk about Tammy and Victor, the Harvard Law siblings who are impossible to root for because, well, who wants to see Ivy League lawyers win The Amazing Race?

There’s Steve and Linda, who I wanted to support as they are hillbillies.  Not just folks from West Virginia who call themselves hillbillies as a gimmick, but real, actual hillbillies who I really want to like because I would totally love to see hillbillies win over Ivy League lawyers.  But I can’t root for them because Steve made Linda cry because Linda is slow and although she shouldn’t be so slow, he shouldn’t make her cry because she is slow, and the whole crying encounter seemed to me a disservice to hillbillies everywhere.

There’s Brad and Victoria, who are being billed as the season’s old couple, but at 52 and 47, are entirely too young for me to take them seriously as an “old” couple.

The year’s African-American slot will be filled by Kisha and Jen, sisters and college athletes who look like they could seriously beat me up.  And I don’t mean together, they could beat me up; I mean individually and without help from the other, they could wipe the floor with my butt.  There’s Mel and Mike, gay dad and gay son for whom “gay” appears to be the substitute for “interesting.”

Mark and Michael are stuntmen, and little people to boot, which I hope will permanently erase Charla from our collective memory.  Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I can honestly say I’d completely forgotten they were there until I saw them come in third at the pit stop.

Preston and Jennifer are this season’s couple who don’t really like each other that much.  I’d complain, but they got eliminated on the first leg, so why bother?  Suffice it to say, they lost their lead in a foot race to the finish against the flight attendants, which leads me to suspect that their hearts just weren’t in it in the first place.

And the season’s “pretty girls” team?  Jaime and Cara who each have bright red hair.  My hunch is that they usually walk around blonde, but upon finding out that there were blonde flight attendants on the race, decided they needed a new gimmick.  As former NFL cheerleaders I know I’m supposed to resent them, but I can’t work up the energy.  Don’t worry though — I’m sure I will find them offensive eventually.  Right now all you need to know is that Cara uses phrases like “It’s on like Donkey Kong” which seemed entirely too self-conscious to be charming.

But really, enough with the teams.  I don’t want to talk about the teams.  Or the helicopters in Los Alamitos, or about how much I enjoy spelling Interlaken, Switzerland. Nor do I want to talk about the big 70-story bungee jump off Verzasca dam that had me twitching in anxiety because there is no. way. in. hell. I could ever do that.

So I’m not going to talk about that.  Instead, I want to talk about cheese.

Specifically, cheese that comes in big, round, 50lb packages that must be carried down a steep, muddy hill on wooden contraptions that look like they were put together by the same people responsible for designing IKEA furniture.

The hill was slippery.  The wooden contraptions broke quickly and easily.  The cheese fell down.  And the cheese rolled down the hill and into fences and buildings and once, into Brad.

But best of all?  Watching Luke, the deaf son of a mother/son team, carry the cheese down the hill, as he gradually picked up more and more momentum, utterly unable to stop moving forward, creating possibly one of the greatest moments of tension in 14 seasons of The Amazing Race ever.  I was completely glued to my TV asking when will he fall?  How will he stumble?  He’s going to fall!  He’s got to fall!  He can’t stop!

And then he fell.  And I laughed, along with the Swiss crowd who had assembled to watch (who I don’t believe for a single second ever use those IKEA-esque wooden contraptions to carry the cheese).

So Amazing Race, if you’re out there paying attention?  More cheese, please.

Season 14, Episode 1: Don’t Let a Cheese Hit Me (Switzerland) (originally aired February 15, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Cheese May Be Hazardous To Your Health by Paul Secrest.

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS

The Amazing Race: Cheese May Be Hazardous To Your Health

Welcome, dear readers, to a new and exciting season of Amazing Race recaps! I’ve had a long satisfying winter break but now that Santa Claus, Father Time, The Steelers, and Cupid have all come and gone, it’s time for me to come up with new and exciting ways to describe obscure international locales and viciously insult teams that bother me. Ready… go!

11 new teams arrived via military grade choppers on a base in SoCal before hitting one of two LAX departing flights to Switzerland. Why the producers neglected to save some coin with an east coast starting line I’ll never know, but I’m hardly going to let that bother me. To start things off in a comprehensive fashion, allow me to offer my first impressions on each team:

Margie & Luke: A mother/son team sporting the inspirational story hook of Luke being completely deaf. They fixate a little much on overcoming the notion that deaf people can’t do everything hearing people can, but are there still people backwards enough to think that? Regardless, they’re a kind and happy duo with the promise to be serious contenders.

Tammy & Victor: Sibling lawyers. Teams like these (I’m thinking TAR 12′s Azaria & Hendekea) tend to start strong but falter due to pride or overthinking every last detail, but I wish them my best.

Mark & Michael: Diminutive middle-aged brothers who work as stuntmen for children’s roles. A delightfully unique pairing. If they’re half as enjoyable as famed little person racer Charla, they’ll be a blast.

Mel & Mike: Father/son writers, you might recognize Mike from his role in School of Rock, which he also wrote. They’re quick-witted and they work well together, but I’m a little scared that Mel’s age might get the best of them. I hope they go far.

Amanda & Kris: They’re young, they’re hot, they date, I yawn.

Brad & Victoria: Conceited 50-something married couple who make me miss Ken & Tina already. They might have villainy potential, though.

Jamie & Cara: Former cheerleaders. I hate to be stereotypical, but you do the math on this one, folks.

Kisha & Jen: A seemingly happy sister act, didn’t really get enough screen time in this first go-round for me to form a valid opinion.

Steve & Linda: Appalachian hill folk, to put it kindly. Steve’s blunt derision of his wife’s abilities already have me rooting for their ouster and yearning for the days of David & Mary, a team whose simple kindness and sense of wonder made them a far better class of redneck.

Christie & Jodi: Two catty flight attendants whose skills would seem to put them at a distinct travel advantage, except that this season has been promised to be as airport-free as possible. Lol.

Preston & Jennifer: More young daters, but at least Preston has a southern accent, making him marginally more interesting than Kris by default.

This leg’s stunning alpine setting made for some great adventures (a 700-foot bungee plunge off a dam) and an enjoyable dose of local culture (yodelers!) but what will truly remain in my memories was a task that entailed moving 50-pound cheese wheels up and down a dauntingly steep and slippery hill with only the assistance of a traditional wooden backpack contraption that appeared to be made of balsa wood and crafted with the workmanship of a dollar store lawn chair. When those big freakin’ cheeses got loose and started rolling, they looked ready to deal some serious damage. Also hilarious: Mel scooting down the hill on his ass, cheese in lap, inspiring several more racers to do the same. More than a little bit surreal, that image.

At the end of the leg, Margie & Luke came out on top and Preston & Jennifer were shown the door. Quite nearly the best possible outcome if you ask me. Next week, the race heads to Austria. Would it be too much to ask for a Sound of Music-themed challenge?

Season 14, Episode 1: Don’t Let a Cheese Hit Me (originally aired February 15, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out More Cheese, Please. by Alana D.

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS

Friday Night Lights: Nobody Likes Grape Jelly

You know, I like this show when the overall plot moves and things actually happen. When the plot stagnates and we get a whole lot of set up, I might as well watch Lost, because then at least we might spot a shirtless Sawyer. And maybe, one of these days, someone will kill Locke. When nothing happens on this show, I’m more tempted to fast forward the Tivo until I can watch the parts with Matt Saracen.

We open at the Panthers game versus McNulty, and Coach Taylor using his new offensive strategy, subbing his two quarterbacks every other play. It’s working, but too well, as it’s confusing the Panthers offense as much as it is the McNulty defense. Down by a touchdown, Coach subs in McCoy on Saracen’s turn, and McCoy drives the Panthers down the field. Saracen knows what this means, even if the announcer hadn’t stated that “the torch has been passed” to McCoy. Coach uses Saracen to run in the final play and touchdown, but all the glory goes to JD, hoisted on the shoulders of his teammates. Saracen walks from the field of victory, dejected.

And that’s when I knew I wasn’t going to like this week’s episode.

But let’s hit up the minor storylines before we return to Saracen, because there’s an awful lot of filler this week where not much happens. Now that the JumboTron issue is resolved (thank goodness!), we need a new plot for Mama Taylor, so enter Julie! Tami spies a tattoo on Julie’s ankle – Julie opts to show it off instead of doing the smart thing of trying to hide it. Granted, it’s Texas, so I guess she can’t go around sporting jeans and Uggs all of a sudden. Predictably, a shouting match begins, because I’m not sure the Taylors know how to “discuss” anything with their daughter. She wants it, they don’t – surprise! Julie reveals that Tyra was with her during the inking, and now Tami starts to worry about Tyra turning into a bad influence. Somehow, this correlates to sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, but I’m not sure Mama T has really heard the music played at the parties in town, because that suckage is NOT rock ‘n’ roll. Later, the Parents Taylor try to calmly talk to Julie again, which is just a front for, “Well, if it’s not that big a deal to you, we’ll just go get it taken off next weekend, end of story.” Damn! I didn’t realize how unreasonable these two could be. Is that a southern/Texas thing, or a strict parenting thing? I don’t know, but next weekend, Tami drives Julie to the removal, finally pulling over to the side of the road. Tami explains that she would have been a high school dropout if she hadn’t met Coach, and though they both had their baggage, they pulled each other through. Aw. Tami’s worried, having been there herself, that her daughter may slip down the easy road into delinquency. Julie’s not that kind of girl though, and promises that the tattoo is just a tattoo and not a sign of more serious issues. Then they hug it out and head back home, dreams of laser removal forgotten.

Last week, Panther alumnus Smash bid farewell, so for those of you who hate to say good-bye to high school, bring on another former Panther: Jason Street! Yes, our other favorite quarterback returns. He gets a lot of screen time in a story that can be summed up in one hundred words or less: Jason goes in with the Riggins Brothers and roommate, Herc, to buy Buddy Garrity’s house, in order to upgrade and re-sell it for a huge profit, all to prove to ex-girlfriend Erin that he can provide for her and their baby. Erin, however, decides to move back East so her parents can help with the baby, leaving a crushed Jason with the Rigginses as partners and a house that we all know won’t sell in this market.

Ta da! See how easy that was? On paper it’s so much simpler. On the screen, we had to deal with Buddy Garrity trying to deny the sale because he hates the Riggins boys, and Billy getting into a fight with some old nemeses over selling the copper wire, and the Riggins’ not showing up at the bank to help obtain the loan. So much unnecessary drama. But I suppose that was all to prove how much Jason loves his son, what he’d do for him, how likable he is in general, and what a salesman he is. Erin delivers the bad news about the move at the new house, and though Tim can’t hear them, he knows something’s up. Jason, however, plays it off as if Erin were happy, hiding the crushing blow she just dropped. Jason’s forced bright smile is almost painful.

In an even more minor storyline, Tyra’s relationship with Cash moves along its merry way, with Tyra skipping classes and back to Cs and Ds on her report card. Tami puts her Principal cap back on and tries talking some sense into Tyra, who insists that Cash is a good ol’ boy and she’s just having an off week or something. I understand bad influences and I understand Tyra’s history of…er, whacked out priorities, shall we say, but just a few weeks ago she was fighting for Student Body President, declaring in Episode One that she wanted to graduate and go to college. She’s really throwing it all away so easily? She does touch on college again, but only after PT sits her down. I don’t really buy into her lapse in judgment here, but I’m sure it’s all just more setup for Cash, who’s popping pills faster than Dr. House, and news flash, Cash: a southern accent is not hotter than a Brit with an American one, so this round goes to Dr. House. And since we’re forced to sit through all this set up, this drug addiction of Cash’s better pay off in a big way.

In other Tyra news, Landry’s broken heart expresses itself through ’80s power ballads. Awesome.

But on to the real story, wherein Coach makes the “agonizing” decision to start JD McCoy in the next game. He stops by la casa de Saracen to deliver the bad news, which Matt takes stoically, as he does everything. Later, Shelby, Matt’s Mama, offers to pick up a job to stick around town and help Matt out until graduation. To which Matt says, “do whatever you want.” Frustrated, Matt flips out one day at school, ready to trash the locker room until coach steps in and stops him, laying out the truth that yes, right now in order to win, he needs to play JD. Matt accepts the Coach’s Word (remember, Coach = God), and tries to quit. Coach, however, won’t let him. So Matt says that he’ll stay on the team, warming the bench, practicing, doing whatever it is that Coach tells him to do. And he’ll hate it, and Coach will hate it. But he’ll do it.

Later again, Shelby stops by with some groceries, further inciting the hate of Grandma Saracen. Because who eats grape jelly? Not the Saracens! Matt reassures Shelby, but then she ends up reassuring him about his getting benched. They bond over cookies and high school football, and the next day, Matt’s out on the field, running his plays at practice and sitting along the sidelines, just as he promised he would. He hates it, and so does Coach. Maybe. Coach is always brooding, so it could have been about Saracen or it could have been because he just learned Julie’s keeping her tattoo. I guess we’ll never know.

I just realized that this episode was supposed to be more of a Jason Street showcase than a Matt Saracen spotlight. Oh well. It’s a good thing I write these reviews and can do whatever I want.

Next week: Cash flaunts his cash, and who’s his baby mama?

Season 3, Episode 5: Every Rose Has Its Thorn (originally aired October 29, 2008 on DIRECTV)

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For more on Friday Night Lights, click here.

Fridays, 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC and IMDbPro

Confessions of a Shopaholic: Charmingly Ridiculous

You know what you’re getting into when you buy a ticket for a movie called Confessions of a Shopaholic. Yes, it’s ironic that the movie was released the same day that Congress passed a $787 billion economic recovery bill to save us all from financial ruin. But this movie bears so little connection to any sort of reality that I couldn’t get worked up about it. Confessions of a Shopaholic is absurd, but in the least offensive way possible. It’s hard not to be fond of a movie in which a major plot point hinges on a hot-pink bridesmaid dress with an enormous neon blue-and-purple tulle petticoat.

Far less serious than, say, Sex and the City, or even Shopaholic’s obvious inspiration, Bridget Jones’ Diary, the movie is based on a series of British novels that came out at the very beginning of the 90s chick-lit craze, when it was still uncommon for a book not written by Bret Easton Ellis to feature detailed descriptions of every piece of clothing every character was wearing, along with a list of all the designers and retail outlets involved. When I first read The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic, I put it down after the first chapter and turned to ask the friend who’d recommended it, “Did I really just read three straight pages about how desperately this Becky girl wants to buy a green Denny & George scarf?” Because, yes, I had.

And that scarf is also a major plot point in the movie. It triggers the meeting between our heroine, Becky Bloomwood, and her partner in romantic comedy, Mark Darcy Luke Brandon, played by Hugh Dancy in a pale imitation of Hugh Grant.  (The books are set in London, but Luke is the only character who managed to retain his Britishness in the film adaptation.)

The movie is a fairy tale of sorts, an Enchanted with a different spunky redheaded heroine with the same ridiculous outlook on life. Becky is a compulsive shopper, the kind who finds herself with a surprise $900 credit card bill that represents only a fraction of her $16,000 debt. The Becky of the novels, being British and, you know, female, was regarded by most of the other characters as adorably quirky, into those silly things women like to do, like getting themselves into massive debt despite having really cheap rent and no other apparent expenses besides stuff. The movie improves on this, since it does, at least, acknowledge that Becky’s shopping is evidence of some sort of psychological problem, although… aside from her money issues, the girl seems pretty darn well-adjusted.

Isla Fisher, who was the best thing about Wedding Crashers (and let’s not get me started on the misogynist, homophobic piece of crap that was Wedding Crashers ? whoops, too late), is also the best thing about Shopaholic. There’s also a fun cast of supporting characters, including Becky’s roommate, Suze, who is a fellow shopaholic but is lucky enough to be rich, so it doesn’t matter, and Suze’s boyfriend, Tarquin. In the book, Tarquin is also Suze’s cousin (look, it’s the U.K., they do things differently there), but the screenwriters wisely decided not to mention that. There’s also Becky’s rival Alicia Bitch Longlegs; the fellow members of Becky’s shopaholics support group, which includes a giant ex-NBA player named DeFreak who has a penchant for Cartier watches, and that chick from Just Shoot Me having way too much fun as a sadistic shopping addiction counselor. Plus, there’s John Goodman, who must’ve needed the work since Aaron Sorkin doesn’t have a show on the air, as Becky’s dad; Joan Cusack, who apparently doesn’t need the work and therefore must simply enjoy the money (good for her), as Becky’s mom; and Kristin Scott Thomas, who I guess didn’t want to be accused of ripping off Meryl Streep and so gives her own version of Anna Wintour a French accent and an indulgent smile. And then there’s a fantastic cameo by Ed Helms.  I think all comedy films should be required to work in Ed Helms cameos from now on.

Much is also made of Mark’s famous socialite mother Eleanor Sherman, who was a prominent character in the books, although we never actually see on screen (so either she got cut and will appear on the DVD deleted scenes, or they’re planning to save her for the sequel and hire Judi Dench, which I admit would be enough to get me to buy another ticket).

Unlike the last two movies I saw that desperately targeted the bachelorette party market, Shopaholic maintains an appropriate balance of farce and believability. There are people in the world like Becky Bloomwood, sure, but if the movie is to be believed, they don’t take themselves too seriously. The movie includes some forced references to the current crisis that were obviously added in reshoots, and maybe it is kind of insensitive to release a movie with this storyline given the current state of our economy, but… honestly, who cares? It isn’t exactly masquerading as high-brow social commentary. I mean, come, on, it’s called Confessions of a Shopaholic.

And, as it happens, the theater where I saw the movie was next door to an Ann Taylor Loft. And, even though it’s not Denny & George, I’m sure Becky would’ve been proud to know she inspired my recession-appropriate post-movie purchase of a new bright yellow long sleeved tee (on sale! Two for $30!).

Check out Inisia’s review here!

The International: Bank On It.

Winter 2009 has been quite the season of pleasant surprises. Hot on the heels of the unexpectedly great Taken, I found myself staring down The International with a familiar sense of uncertainty and preconceptions of its quality that ran neutral at best. Because nothing good gets released before March, right? Didn’t congress pass a law forbidding the release of anything other than horror movies and broad comedies for a period of no less than 60 days into each calendar year? That law must have been on the Obama administration’s chopping block, because I am pleased to report that The International is a smart, suspenseful, and topical paranoia thriller that feels like a good novel and looks great to boot.

Clive Owen and Naomi Watts star as Louis Salinger and Eleanor Whitman, an Interpol agent and New York district attorney working desperately to build a case against the International Bank of Business and Credit, a Luxembourgian (Luxembourgese? Luxembourgi?) financial juggernaut with no qualms about financing wars, terrorism, and uprisings as long as they wind up with a fatter balance sheet. They’re working under the assumption that finding any one chink in the bank’s armor will bring down the whole operation like a house of Visa cards. Problem is, anyone with credible intel about IBBC’s misdeeds winds up catching a case of dead. Following Louis & Eleanor through the maze of conspiracies, assassinations, and betrayals that lead to a reckoning makes for two memorable hours of nail biting, gasping, and maybe even learning a little about the world economy (as if anything could make the economy make sense right now).

My only major gripe about this movie, which I’ll happily air before getting down to the specifics of what went right, is Naomi Watts herself. She certainly can act, but you wouldn’t guess it from her curiously flat line readings and screen presence here. But fortunately her character winds up mostly on the peripherals, making room for The International to become the Clive Owen show. Clive, who oftentimes feels like a British George Clooney, shines in yet another great role as a man less driven by vengeance than most cinema heroes and much more compelled by a desire to promote justice and the greater good. And German director Tom Twyker, a personal hero for creating the wonderfulness that is Run Lola Run, does an amazing job of capturing both unique intangible details like the feeling of mounting suspense and the broad sweeping beauty of location shoots in places like Berlin, Milan, and Istanbul. All parties involved in this movie deserve special recognition for a central scene involving heavy gunplay all around the post modern spiraling rotunda of NYC’s Guggenheim museum. It fully deserves a spot on the list of cinema’s greatest action shootouts near the likes of the lobby scene in The Matrix or the “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” scene in Face/Off.

After watching The International, many may be inspired to move the contents of their checking account to the underside of a mattress or maybe even give their local bank manager a kick in the family jewels, but it’s all worth it to take in such a gem of tension and dread.

Check out Cameron’s review here!

‘International’ Appeal

A thriller only works well if the bad guys are menacing and if viewers can put themselves in the hero’s shoes. The team behind The International, including German filmmaker Tom Tykwer (who made the crazy, visually frenetic Run Lola Run), understand those principles. They have made a timely choice of villain: bankers. That’s right, in this economic climate, audiences aren’t going to have a hard time believing bankers are evil greedy shapeshifters, and they’re certainly not going to be too broken up if a hero comes along and dishes out some justice, vigilante style.

Clive Owen was a wise choice for the protagonist, a dogged, frustrated Interpol agent named Louis Salinger who has been trying to take down the International Bank, a nefarious financial institution up to their collective necks in international arms dealing. (Though side note, since when is Louis a good name for an action hero? Martin Riggs, John McClane, Harry Callahan, John Rambo, Kit Latura, Jack Carter…those are action hero names).

From the opening shot of Clive Owen’s stubbled face (seriously, Owen must have a chronic fear of razors because I have yet to see a movie in which he is clean-shaven), Tykwer and his longtime cinematographer Frank Griebe immediately establish an assured, confident, visually stunning film. Almost every single shot is breathtaking, and that’s a true achievement. In fact, after viewing the first five minutes of the film I thought I might be heading into classic thriller territory a la Three Days of the Condor and The Parallax View. The rest of the film didn’t quite live up to those high expectations of mine, but it was still entertaining and well-acted.

It’s standard thriller fare—covert assassinations, snipers, cover-ups, corruption and leaks, etc. But the package is assembled with considerable skill. There are some significant flaws though. For one, Naomi Watts while good is underused. As the film progresses, there are vast chunks of screen time where her character simply disappears. Also, the detailing of Louis’ complicated past (all good heroes have one after all) is thrown away in a rather clunky expositional elevator exchange. On the plus side though, James Rebhorn, the greatest sleazeball character actor on the planet, makes a welcome and unexpected appearance. And Brian F. O’Byrne, who played the priest in Million Dollar Baby, is especially good as the bank’s assassin for hire. I wouldn’t have necessarily pictured this guy as an assassin, but he’s really good here, stealing the show just like Max von Sydow did in the aforementioned Three Days of the Condor.

The script isn’t perfectly structured either. It starts off strong but I felt myself getting restless repeatedly in the second act. But Tyker has an ace up his sleeve, and it’s an incredible shootout that involves Clive Owen taking on an almost endless array of bad guys toting automatic weapons in the famous Guggenheim museum. Architecture is another character in the film, and that’s no truer than it is here. It’s just a great action sequence, and I’d say that alone is worth the price of admission. You can watch an interesting little featurette on how the filmmakers designed the sequence here: firstshowing.net/2009/02/11/behind-the-scenes-video-of-the-guggenheim-shootout-in-the-international/.

The ending isn’t quite a knockout, and the whole thing feels a little convoluted at times, but it’s an entertaining movie and a good choice for this dead season. Stay tuned for the cynical postscript, which again is reminiscent of Three Days of the Condor. If nothing else, these guys studies the classics of their genre…always a smart move.

Check out Paul’s review here!

Damages: “You know what I’m in the mood for? A fight.”

Glenn Close is terrific in this role.  It’s my absolute favorite type of performance.  I know that Patty Hewes is always thinking; that her wheels are always churning.  Yet I never, never, know what she’s going after in any given scene.  It is evident in the courtroom scene when she sits opposite Claire and Kendrick; it’s there when Ellen discusses with her Ellen’s lead in solving David’s murder.   The twisty arcs of the Damages plotlines depend on the audience believing that Patty Hewes is always two steps ahead of the other characters.  The show ultimately rests on her shoulders, and I’m happy those shoulders are Close’s.

So, the sister of Ellen’s late fiancé, Katie Connor, is back to play a part in the ongoing plotline, “Watch Ellen link Frobisher to David’s murder.”  She ID’s the guy stalking her last season at the police station.  Turns out he’s a cop, the very same cop who was an accomplice in David’s murder last year.  During my last review, I noted that the police investigator who investigated David’s murder was getting paid by Arthur Frobisher to cover it up.  Silly me, I forgot to mention (okay, it’s because I didn’t remember) that this was the same detective who tortured and killed David himself. And he killed David with the cop who was following Katie around.  So, to sum it up, two men who are on the police force got paid by Frobisher to kill David.  I didn’t catch the investigator’s name, or the cop’s but since the investigator shot the cop this episode, I shouldn’t sweat the cop’s name too much, should I?  But I will try and call the investigator something else next week, cause the week’s flash-forward revealed he’ll be around for another four months.  But I’ll get to that later.

Right now, let’s talk about Patty.  She’s on FOX News this week, calling Walter Kendrick a criminal.  You know, cause he is.  He pretty much ordered the hit on Christine Purcell.   (By the way, this week my husband pointed out that the murderer of Christine Purcell is being played by Darrell Hammond.  I’d never have figured it out myself, as Hammond is playing him with just the right note of psychosis, and I never knew Hammond had psychosis in him based on his SNL days.)  Claire Maddox recommends that UNR sue.  Kendrick doesn’t seem to really want to engage Patty at all, but after one of his stockholders approaches him at the ballet, he changes his mind.  Said stockholder’s name is Arthur Frobisher, back in town, who lays these words of wisdom on Kendrick: “when she straps one on, bend over, bite down hard, and just take it.”  So, of course, Kendrick decides to ignore the advice and sue.

I swear, when Patty gets served with Kendrick’s defamation suit, she looks the way I would imagine a wolf does when it comes across a limping baby seal.  I love that look.

Claire urges Kendrick to settle.  He does, for $5 million.  Claire and Kendrick figured they were in the clear, because Patty was just trying to drive down the stock price with her televised remarks, clearly angling for a shareholder plaintiff so that she could turn around and sue the company.  Claire and Kendrick just wanted to make the suit go away before Patty could.

But in the final scenes of the episode, in yet another great twist, we find out that it’s too late.  Patty’s got her plaintiff – Arthur Frobisher.

So did that make you go wait. . .what?  How is Patty going to have Frobisher as a plaintiff while Ellen uses the firm’s resources to put Frobisher away for David’s murder?  Yeah, I don’t know either.

I also don’t know what in the world is up with the car plotline.  So, Dave Pell buys a car, gives the keys to Walter Kendrick, who gives the keys to Darryl Hammond (don’t know this character’s name either) who . . . drives it?  Huh?  If you know where this storyline is going, could you let me in on it? And while you’re at it, what do the numbers mean?

Also, Ellen re-visits the apartment where David was killed and it made me sad.  David was really cute, y’all.  A neighbor gives her a package delivered weeks ago, which she can’t open.  The card is from David, who promised to take her away to someplace with palm trees when the Frobisher case was over.  Awwww.  Poor dead David.

The episode closed in a flash-forward showing Detective David’s Killer (guess I found a name for him!) will go to room 1910 with a gun and a silencer while Ellen is in the shower.  Which raises the question, will this be before or after Ellen shoots someone (twice)?

* sigh*  Damages, you’re killing me.

Season 2, Episode 6: A Pretty Girl in a Leotard (originally aired February 11, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Double Crossed by Kaitlyn Edsall.

For more on Damages, click here.

Wednesdays at 10pm E/P on FX

Photograph courtesy of FX and IMDbPro

Grey’s Anatomy: Crossing Over

This week we were treated to the first crossover episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I don’t know how much of a treat it was since the crossover involved Private Practice, but at least I had the choice to skip the later half. (Come on! Private Practice over CSI? Never!) Only a small amount of time has passed since we last saw our doctors. Addison’s brother Archer is admitted into the hospital with neurocysticerocosis, otherwise known as brain worms. (The strange thing is there was a recent news story about a sharp increase in patients being admitted with a worm in their brain!) Unfortunately for Archer, he has eight cysts and is pretty much a dead man. Addison pleads with Derek to be a hero and save her brother. Can he?

The major focus for tonight was if Derek could do the impossible. This didn’t fair well with the patient Derek was supposed to operate on before Archer cut the scalpel line. A husband and wife were basically babysat for the entire episode because the pregnant woman couldn’t settle down with an aneurism in her head that could bust at any moment.

Izzie set up a scavenger hunt game to prove that the interns had the knowledge and skills to be great doctors. They just need to feel passionate again, and she knew her cheesy, silly game would do just the trick. Alex isn’t too happy that crazy Izzie is seemingly getting crazier, especially since she’s not even seeing dead Denny anymore, but it’s clear he’s starting to realize that maybe something serious is going on.

As the winner of the contest, Lexie get the chance to scrub in on a surgery even if it was barely a scrub. I don’t know if it was the sneaky flirting with Mark or running across the finish line that got her fired up, but I knew Lexie was starting to step into herself which I like. Shonda is defining her character steadily but realistically, and I believe it.

Along for this long hard night is Sam and Naomi from Private Practice. I’m okay with these two, seeing as it’s logical Addison would bring her best friend (who also happens to be Archer’s girlfriend) and one of Derek’s old friends (who also happens to be Naomi’s ex-husband). Plus the camaraderie of the group, including Mark, was warm, fun and genuine. (Cancel Private Practice and move Taye Diggs to Grey’s Anatomy please! Bring back the Addison that I love and not that pod person who comes on an hour later.)

Apparently, Derek used to play guitar, even penning an awful wedding song for his first bride. It’s like Opposite Day for Meredith, who straight on the heels of finding that lone rose petal, realizes Derek had a whole life and friends that she will never truly know. (We knew it would be a bumpy ride to that alter.) Can Meredith handle this new revelation? Can Addison handle Derek’s potential proposal to Meredith since we all know he’s always been her only love?

But Meredith isn’t the only one who gets slapped in the face with the return of the dreaded ex. Christina realized she didn’t know Owen either when Beth, his ex-fiancee, brought her dad into the hospital. It turns out that Owen dumped his fiancé via a two-line e-mail and never told her that he returned from Iraq. (Or his mother. The shame!) If I found out that about MY boyfriend, he wouldn’t look so good to me, and Christina and I think alike. Not only didn’t she get it but she felt it was cruel.  Owen pleaded his case, namely that he was changed and she was the only one who saw the real him, and Christina let down her guard again.

But the big question is did Archer make it. Of course he did! They had to make it look like he wouldn’t because it wouldn’t be a drama if they didn’t. Derek retrieved seven wormy cysts, but the final one ruptured sending the worm squiggling away. There was a horror moment where Archer lay on the table without a heartbeat while Derek searched franticly for the worm, but he got that sucker.

In other news. . .

Sadie quits the program when it’s evident that she doesn’t know enough and could seriously KILL someone.

Bailey and Sam have some cute banter when he realizes the woman who never smiles is applying for a pediatric surgery fellowship.

Addison picks on Mark for having a thing for Lexie, calling her an infant.

Callie confesses to Addison through prayer and in a hospital church that she has the hots for a perky pediatric doc.

Season 5, Episode 15:  Before and After (originally aired February 12, 2009)

For an alternative opinion of this episode,  check out Tanya Lane’s review, Insane in the Brain, here.

For more Grey’s Anatomy reviews, click here.

Thursdays 9/8c on ABC
Photographs courtesy of ABC

Grey’s Anatomy: Insane in the Brain

In what was easily the best episode of the season thus far, the writers merged the characters from Private Practice with the characters from Grey’s.  Addison’s brother has neurocysticerocosis, or as I prefer to say, worms in his brain. She brings him to Seattle Grace so that Derek can operate.

On a much lighter note, Izzie decides to involve the interns in a scavenger hunt that doubles as a teaching exercise.  This is pretty cute and sweet, because the interns are still collectively in the doghouse with the Chief after their kidney removal stunt a few weeks ago.  The game reveals that Sadie is far behind the other interns in terms of basic medical knowledge, to the potential detriment of patients.  George offers to help her bone up on her skills, but she rebuffs him.  Concerned that she will be a liability to the hospital, he threatens to inform the Chief unless she confesses her ineptitude.  She does, and the episode ends with her withdrawing from the program, rightfully so.  She mistakenly believed that she could coast through, riding Meredith’s coattails.  I shudder to imagine her with a scalpel.  She was always a nutcase and I’m glad she’ll (hopefully) be off the show, although I did feel sorry for her a time or two.

Another one I feel sorry for is Major Hunt.  Iraq really screwed him up.  Unbeknownst to Cristina, he has an ex-fiancé.  The young woman shows up with her father, who is suffering from colorectal cancer.  The dad despises Owen, as he dumped his daughter via a two line email.  The girl didn’t even know he was back from Iraq, and said that she had been praying for him daily.  Cristina is appalled at his callousness. Even his mother thinks he’s still in Iraq, and for Cristina that is the last straw.  Owen eventually explains to her that he talks to his mother weekly, but he doesn’t want her to know that he’s home because he would hate for her to see the person he’s become.  Basically, he’s not the son she knew and loved anymore.  He says that Cristina is the only one he can really be himself around, because she sees his true soul, in so many words.  Well….if you put it THAT way I guess she can forgive him LOL.

Meredith and Derek are still doing well, and she doesn’t feel threatened by Addison’s presence due to the gravity of the situation.  She does, however notice that there is a lot about Derek that she doesn’t know, and that he had a totally different life with Addison and all of their friends.  I don’t watch Private Practice and am unfamiliar with its characters, but it used to be Derek, Mark, Addison, her brother and his girlfriend and the girlfriend’s ex-husband as a tight little crew with inside jokes aplenty.  Meredith understandably feels like the odd man out, but to her credit she doesn’t make Derek feel guilty about having a life before her. This seems like a non-issue and a small deal, but a little detail like her bruised feelings is very realistic and exemplifies the great writing for which Grey’s is known.

Of course the writers aren’t going to bring in the whole gang from Private Practice just to have their hearts crushed, and Derek saves the day in nail-biting fashion, removing each of the encased worms tediously one by one. Grey’s always has me on the edge of my seat and I love it. Kudos to the writers for a GREAT episode.

Season 5, Episode 15:  Before and After (originally aired February 12, 2009)

For an alternative opinion of this episode, check out Inisia Lewis’s review, Crossing Over, here.

For more Grey’s Anatomy reviews, click here.

Thursdays 9/8c on ABC
Photographs courtesy of ABC

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