The Amazing Race: In. Your. Face!

I know I’m supposed to be amazed at Luke’s ability in this race.  I know I am, because the producers keep bringing it up vis-à-vis the other racers.  Comments like the one from Mel & Mike, “Luke and Margie coming in first was amazing. . . .[it] challenges your sense of what people are capable of” are a wonderful way for the TAR producers to congratulate themselves on what a wonderful, conscientious show this is.  It’s like they are trying to say The Amazing Race has people who have to overcome real obstacles, unlike those pussies on Survivor whose ‘surprise’ casting choices are still stuck in the Look!  It’s a lunch lady! variety.

Yet, at the risk of sounding insensitive, I gotta say that I find these clearly prompted remarks by Luke’s fellow contestants a tad unnecessary.  What, pray tell, did Mike really think that Luke wouldn’t be capable of because he’s deaf? Running to a pit stop? Buying a plane ticket? While Luke will clearly have more difficulty than anyone else communicating with strangers, in The Amazing Race, it’s communication with your partner that separates those who sprint towards the finish line from those who can only gallop.  And in that department, Luke and his mother Margie have a distinct advantage.  Clearly their relationship has required excellent communication skills from the both of them, and it’s pretty apparent that they read each other better than perhaps any other team in the show’s history.  So seriously, producers?  Chill with the Luke is Amazing! comments.

So we’re only into the second episode of The Amazing Race 14, and there is already a theme.  Food!  Last week, we had the cheese, and this week we have another inherently funny, round substance — pie.  Cream pies, fruit pies, chocolate pies, it was pie for rows.  If next week’s detour is built around vodka shots, The Amazing Race will have covered all my favorite food groups.

The pie challenge came near the end of the episode, where the contestants had to choose between throwing pies at one another or riding a Segway through an obstacle course.  Clearly, this was a challenge designed for we the audience to decide who was really worth liking in this race.  I mean, c’mon, was there really a legitimate choice here?  It’s like, do you want to take the option that shows you have a great sense of humor or the one that makes you look like a total dork?  This should have been easy.

Did you notice that all of the opposite sex racers chose the pie?  I kinda suspect that these teams realized that there would be few opportunities where expressing their open hostility towards each other would actually be productive, and so they took full advantage.  Wise choice.  Pretty much every team that chose the pies came off looking more likeable for it, including Margie and Luke.  How awesome was it to watch Margie launch pie after pie. . .after pie after pie. . .after pie at him while he looked utterly dejected?  As he explained, what can you do? It’s your mom.

Hell, even Steve and Linda came off looking better for the pie choice. After all, Steve did apologize for making Linda cry last week.  Yet I still couldn’t root for them, because right then I realized that Steve and Linda are the couple in your group that you only go out with once or twice before you realize that every night they will have a public disagreement, and she will cry, and everyone will feel uncomfortable, and then they will make up, and then they both will cry, and everyone at the table will feel even more uncomfortable.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging their relationship — it actually seems to work well enough, yet. . .I have no desire to be around these two, not even remotely.

And luckily I won’t have to, because the team came in last after a disastrous Roadblock that ended up with Linda getting hopelessly lost after taking the wrong turn on a marked pathway. (Guess what she did when she realized that she lost?  She cried! ) She ended up catching a ride with a stranger back to her teammate, but the damage was done.  They came in after Christie and Jodi (who seriously need to pick it up a notch if they want to protect the reputations of stewardesses everywhere) and after Phil told them they’d been eliminated, wanna know what Steve and Linda did?  Cried.

But don’t worry folks, my eyes are dry.  Unless The Amazing Race tops itself next week with another funny food challenge.  Maybe something with kumquats?

Season 14, Episode 2: Your Target is Your Partner’s Face (originally aired February 22, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out White Flight by Paul Secrest.

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS