House: Genetically modified for tastiness

There’s a confession I really ought to make: I only started watching House about six months ago. Since then, I’ve seen almost every episode in the show’s history, mostly on the USA reruns, but I suppose it would be false to present myself as a longtime fan of the show.

I am, however, a fan nonetheless. And since it’s only been a couple of months, instead of five years, since I first saw the revelation about, say, Cameron’s dead husband, I have much better retention for all these details. The problem is, the writers are counting on me not to remember. That’s how they think they can get away with things like recycling tired storylines, or give House boring insults to recite – they figure I won’t remember the good ones from back in the day. Which is weird, because I’m used to shows like The Office, where references to classic season 2 episodes get dropped into scripts without new viewers even realizing it, and Lost, where it really has been five years since I last heard that Rousseau killed her husband, and then when I watch a new episode and realize that the writers are counting on me to remember every detail of her back story, I freak out a little bit.

But back to House, because my having seen all the episodes really recently, and out of order, is probably the reason I see the characters the way I do. For example, obviously, I love Chase, but if I’d started watching back in 2004 with the pilot episode I’d probably hate him. Because in season 1, Chase was mostly a prick. But I caught a lot of late-season-3 episodes when I first started watching, which is when Chase was at his best out of the entire series run. And then I went back and saw episodes like Heavy where it was like, “Oh my lord, this guy is a prick.” But I got over it, because Chase’s pluses outweigh his minuses, and every single character on this show is a prick at one time or another, and also, I like Jesse Spencer’s smile.

I was thinking about all that this week, when we were given a filler episode three-quarters of the way through what’s shaping up to be a filler season. I mean, last season, despite a debilitating writers’ strike, the show still managed to pull off a major shakeup in the show’s premise; introduce a dozen new characters, most of whom were compelling; feature some awesome medical cases; and set up major changes in the protagonist’s relationships with both of the show’s main secondary characters. This season, all we’ve had so far is two frustrating romances and a bunch of patients with ludicrous ailments and/or personalities who’re effectively sitting up in their deathbeds at 8:52 every Monday night and stage-whispering to us, “The writers just don’t care anymore.”

And I was thinking about Chase this week, too, because he got more screen time than usual this episode (two scenes with lines – good lines, spoken with feeling, and facial expressions too! And one more scene later with no lines, performed from behind a surgical mask, because the writers finally remembered what they’re supposed to do with Chase). (By the way, Cameron was once again missing from the entire episode – maybe Jennifer Morrison is off promoting Star Trek or something – and I suspect that’s the real reason we’ve been seeing more of Chase lately. Not that I’m complaining. Even though I do miss Cameron.)

So, in addition to being filler, this episode was “goofy,” too, centering around a wacky cat-based superstition. Of course, even goofy episodes of House feature dead children in the patients’ back stories. Our patient, played by the fabulous Judy Greer (and I do love how House, being a top-rated show, is capable of recruiting guest stars of Judy Greer’s caliber when it’s not even sweeps) shows up in the clinic faking seizures and peeing green to get House’s attention. It works – House keeps her on as a patient, mostly because she thinks a cat named Debbie predicted her death, and House thinks that’s neat. (The cat playing Debbie is fantastic, by the way, and just like every performer on this show, she has stunning chemistry with Hugh Laurie.) At 8:52, House comes up with a scientific explanation for Debbie’s habit of lying down next to people who subsequently die, and Judy is saved without much fanfare, because it’s a filler episode.

Also, we get a Taub subplot that looks at first like it could be interesting and revealing but then, not so much. He runs into a former high-school classmate who looks about 20 years younger than Taub and who’s running a medical supply company that appears recession-proof. This is good news for Taub, who lost big when the market crashed (can’t he just sell that sports car?). Next thing we know, Taub’s begging the friend for a job, or at least an investment opportunity. The guy offers him the latter – so Taub quits his job at Princeton-Plainsboro. House refuses to accept his resignation, because House knows everything (and because House likes Taub). So Taub’s “old friend” turns out to be some random guy running a scam. Oops! Taub’s back in House’s office, with donuts, the next day.

The episode also had some fun character moments, which is the kind of filler I like. There’s House doing an impression of a James Bond villain named Blofeld that was funny even though I had never previously heard of Blofeld. There’s House in the teaser, making one of those Rube Goldberg machines he sometimes assembles, only to be foiled by a destructive Cuddy (who’s inspiring more forlorn/sexually charged looks from House than usual, so I guess that storyline is winding up again, for better or for worse). And there’s Kutner, who still desperately wants to be friends with everyone on this show, even though no one wants to be friends with him.

Also, as aforementioned, Chase is there. His hair is looking better than last time, and his stubble is less horrifying. And this week, he even gets to make eyes at Judy Greer a little bit. I always have to rewind Chase’s scenes because I’m so busy paying attention to his facial expressions and hair status that I forget to listen to the dialogue. This week, when I did, I got to hear him arguing in favor of faith and prayer, and yay to the writers for remembering that about him, but this still doesn’t make up for his absence during the Father Daniel episode (or maybe they had to cut his scenes that time to fit in more of that superb Thirteen/Foreman banter about shoes).

Speaking of whom, Thirteen only has, like, four lines all episode this week. Hooray! I’d like to think the absence of any prominent Foreman/Thirteen developments from the past couple of episodes is evidence of the producers listening to the fans, but nah, I doubt it. At least I can be fairly confident they won’t kill Thirteen in the season finale. The show is repetitive, no question, but it’s not that repetitive.

Next week: A rerun of the best episode of the season. Is it my birthday already?

Season 5, Episode 18: Here Kitty (originally aired March 16, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Cameron Cubbison’s review here.

For more on House, click here.

House, Tuesdays 8/7c on FOX

Photographs courtesy of FOX Broadcasting Company and IMDbPro