Lost: LaFleur Don’t Know Nothin’ ‘Bout Birthin’ Babies

Had I known our time warp would eventually stop in the 1970s, I wouldn’t have used the title “Land of the Lost” two weeks ago, so to make it up to you, here’s a little ditty I modified in honor of this episode:

Sawyer, Jin, and Juliet, on a trek to the Orchid

Met the greatest time shift ever known.

Back to the beach camp, they killed two tiny Others,

And got stunned by the sonic barricade.

In the Village of the Dharma!  (Arrrrr.)

So as it were, this week we learn what happened on the Island after Locke left and before he returned (hereinafter “the Interregnum”).  Be glad I’m telling this in linear order and without all of the jumps in the episode, otherwise you’d be as seasick as Charlotte and we all know what happened to her [knife gesture across the throat].

As you’ll recall, Locke fell down a well, went boom, turned the wheel, and exited the Island by way of Tunisia.  Before he turned the wheel, though, we had a time jump back to a long long time ago where Sawyer & Co. saw the tail end of a very large statue (with most likely only four toes on each foot).  After Locke turned the wheel, they jumped into the future and then the jumps stopped.  They gathered up and made way for the beach to look to the east for Locke’s coming on the third day.  Oh wait, that’s another story…

On the way to the beach, they see two men assaulting a woman and another one apparently dead on the ground.  Sawyer and Juliet try to stop the men but they don’t listen and get shot dead.  The woman, Amy, freaks out because (1) they killed her husband Paul and (2) there will be revenge for killing those two men.  So they stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and pretend that none of this ever happened.  They also follow Amy back to her camp, which happens to be none other than the Dharma village.

After Amy tricks them into walking through the sonic barrier, Sawyer et al. pass out, with Sawyer waking up in the billiard room . . . with Horace!  Sawyer comes up with a quick story that he’s “Jim LaFleur” (which is Creole, y’all) and he and his crew got shipwrecked on the Island while headed to Tahiti salvaging for The Black Rock.  Horace sort of believes him but says they are to leave the Island the next day via the submarine.  Horace does not think Sawyer is Dharma Initiative material, or I think Horace is just jealous of Sawyer’s better hairstyle.

As Sawyer tells his mates that they have to leave the Island, the alarm goes off signaling an attack by the Natives.  They head inside to Amy’s house and watch as the ageless Richard sticks a torch in the ground and demands to know why the Dharmites broke the truce by killing two of his men.  Horace freaks out on Sawyer but Sawyer goes out to talk with Richard and to reveal his time traveler status.  Richard and his non-eye liner believe Sawyer and agree to continue the truce provided they get Paul’s body.  Amy doesn’t like that but agrees, provided she gets to keep the ankh Paul wore around his neck.

Relieved at Sawyer’s efforts, Horace agrees to let he and his “shipmates” stay for two weeks.  Through some sweet talkin’, Sawyer convinces Juliet to stay as well.

At this point our story cuts to three years later, where the shipmates are all working for the Dharma Initiative and Sawyer is the head of security and either married to or shacking up with Juliet the Mechanic.  Oh and that Dharma brand conditioner is doing wonders for his hair.  He gets a call from the security booth/inchoate threesome that Horace is drunk and throwing dynamite sticks at trees by the security barrier.  Sawyer shows up with Miles and takes Horace home.  Soon enough Amy, who is now married to and pregnant by Horace, goes into labor two weeks early.  The baby is breached and the local internist does not know how to do a Cesarean section because expectant mothers always leave the Island two weeks before their due dates (In-teresting!).  Sawyer gets Juliet and talks her out of retirement to deliver the baby.  In the end, the baby and mother are fine thanks to Juliet’s skills and Sawyer’s pep talk to her.  It’s a sweet moment between the pair of them and they later celebrate at home with lovey-dovey talk, dinner, and a bottle of Dharma wine.

Meanwhile, Sawyer talks with Horace about his conduct and we learn that Horace had a fight with Amy because he found Paul’s ankh (not to be confused with Paul Anka) in the back of her drawer.  He wonders whether three years is long enough for someone to get over someone; Sawyer says it is and alludes to his one-time feelings for Kate (née Freckles).

We know where this is going.  Sawyer gets a mysterious call from Jin to head to the beach.  Who’s waiting?  Why it’s Jack, Kate, and Hurley fresh off their plane!  Sawyer takes one look at Kate and we know Juliet is already heading out to toss dynamite at trees.

Season 5, Episode 8: LaFleur (originally aired March 4, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out That ’70s Show by Robin Reed.

For more on Lost, click here.

Wednesdays, 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC