Lost: Would you kill baby Hitler?

Because Sayid would totally kill baby Hitler. Or the closest he can get to Hitler, anyway.

Although I suppose it isn’t quite as complicated a question for Sayid as it is for many of us, since, as this week’s episode goes at great lengths to demonstrate, Sayid has killed a whole bunch of people in his day, with varying degrees of guilt (mostly on the lighter side). Personally, though, when it comes to baby Hitler, I’m a fan of the Evil Baby Orphanage model.

The basics:

It’s a Sayid episode. These can go either way, but this time, it worked. We get a variety of flashbacks to Sayid’s past, even including a scene from his childhood in Iraq, where he killed chickens freely and had adorable curly hair. We also learn how he wound up on the Ajira Airways plane: Ilana picked him up in a bar, wearing a gorgeous outfit and generally looking fabulous, but then she turned out to be some sort of bounty-hunter-type person who’d been hired by the family of that guy Sayid killed on a golf course last season. Whoops.

On the island, the imprisoned Sayid refuses to go along with SawFleur’s assorted plans to “save” him. Horace and the others (including a reluctant SawFleur) interrogate Sayid and get the time-travel story, which of course they don’t buy. So, assuming Sayid is there to steal Dharma secrets (since he also knows all about the Swan station), Horace calls a Council of Elrond, where all assembled vote to execute Sayid. Sayid is resigned to this fate. Until the 12-year-old Ben Linus sends a flaming VW bus into an occupied Dharma house (because Ben clearly knows more about VW buses than all those mechanics in the cast), then offers to break Sayid out. Sayid accepts. Then, at the first chance he gets, he shoots the kid in cold blood. Hardcore, Sayid, hardcore.

The good:

• To illustrate the depth of the killing-baby-Hitler issue, the episode forces us to watch an awful scene between the child Ben and his dad, Roger Linus aka Roger Workman. I’m putting this in the Good column because it was well-done and interesting, and also both of those actors (but especially the kid) were excellent.
• The Dharmas have a guy on staff, Oldham, who lives in a teepee and whose job is to tie people up and force-feed them island-brewed Veritaserum. Again, including this in the Good because I love the complexity of the Dharmas, and the presence of an official torturer adds a fun new layer.
• Juliet seems genuinely distraught at the threat the Oceanic Six poses to her relationship with SawFleur. Now that I like her, that made me kind of distraught too.
• Horace is as awesome as ever. How can a guy with that hair manage to look so menacing?

The bad:

• Hurley’s job is working in the Dharma cafeteria. Please.
• Kate’s job is working as a mechanic, just like Juliet, despite not having any mechanical skills, because I guess that’s what Dharma women do, except the lucky ones who get to wear the flight attendant outfits and sit in on the Council of Elrond with their Charlie’s Angels hair.
• We’re still expected to care about the SawFleur/Juliet/Jack/Kate quadrangle. Lord. Maybe Kate should just settle down with Phil or something and spare us all this manufactured drama. The show has plenty of real drama without it.
• It’s overall a very graphic, serious episode, seeing as how it’s about murder and such. Again, it’s well-done – but it means we have very few of the kinds of lighter moments that make this show watchable for me. Not saying the whole thing has to be jokes about Richard’s eyeliner or anything, but stuff like that time last week when Sun whacked Ben with the oar is always nice to see.

The stuff that will matter next week:

• This guy Radzinski, who works at the Flame and was designing the Swan, has a crazy hyper temper and is clearly building up to something big and bad. This has been clear for a while but it’s especially evident this week. He’s the one who leads the charge to kill Sayid, for one.
• We don’t know for sure if the child Ben is actually dead. On the one hand, Sayid only shot him once and didn’t check to make sure it took. On the other hand, you’d think Sayid would know enough about shooting people to make sure he’d done it right.
• Along with shooting Ben, Sayid also knocks out Jin. Not a good idea, Sayid. You don’t mess with my homeboy. And for that matter, you’d better watch out next time you run into Sun. Especially if there’s any boating equipment around.

Season 5, Episode 10: He’s Our You (originally aired March 25, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Paradox Lost by J.B. Perlow.

For more on Lost, click here.

Wednesdays, 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC

Lost: Paradox Lost

This week it’s all Sayid, all the time, but a dramatic uh-oh ending that leaves everyone wondering how the writers are going to finagle their way out of this one.  We begin in familiar territory: a flashback.  Sayid is a child and kills a chicken for his brother.  Me, I preferred Transformers, but I’m from the suburbs and not the Iraqi desert.  From this scene we learn that Sayid either has killer instincts or will do what he needs to do to help people.  We explore this battle through the rest of the flashbacks as we see how Sayid came back to the Island.

We know from last season that after he left he became Ben’s hit man and started knocking off various people in Charles Widmore’s empire.  After Sayid kills the last one in Russia, Ben tosses him aside like a hooker that’s past her prime.  Sayid retires to build houses in the Dominican Republic but that does not last long.  Ben finds him and says that Locke is dead; he needs Sayid to come with him because the same people may be after Sayid as well.  Well, not exactly, Ben.  Sayid says no but still goes to Los Angeles and winds up on the dock with the other Oceanics.

After he wants nothing more to do with Ben, he goes to a hotel for very expensive scotch and strikes up a conversation with Ilana, who is not “a professional” as Sayid suspects.  Sort of.  She’s a professional bounty hunter and that night she shoves a boot in Sayid’s face and takes him into her custody so she can return him to the family of one of the guys he killed for Ben.  The next day they head to the airport and get on the same plane bound for “Guam,” a/k/a The Island.  Sayid suspects Ilana is a front for Ben but she isn’t (or at least says she isn’t).

Flashback to 1977 Dharmaland and Sayid is in the Dharma jail, suspected of being a Hostile.  Since Sayid won’t talk, Horace takes Sayid to the village hippie/torturer, Oldham, for a sugar cube of LSD or something while being tied to a tree.  (Sounds like my summer camp!)  In his high state, he talks about LaFleur as Sawyer and tells the Dharma guys that they are going to all die (i.e., the Purge).  They all think that Oldham overdosed Sayid and take Sayid back to the jail.

The Dharma leadership or Judicial Committee meet and, after an impassioned rant by Amy, unanimously vote to execute Sayid.  And yes, Sawyer voted as well–you see, he offered Sayid an opportunity to escape but Sayid refused.  While Sayid is in his cell, he attracts the attention of a young Ben Linus.  Ben is intrigued by the Hostiles since he met Richard and asked about joining their group.  Ben’s father Roger, though, is an abusive ass and beats Ben for making Sayid a sandwich.

Sayid and Ben form an alliance where Ben will help Sayid escape and Sayid will take him to the Hostiles.  So as the flaming Dharma bus goes rolling into a building, Ben and Sayid escape into the jungle.  Jin catches them but Sayid quickly knocks him out.  And then without warning, Sayid tells Ben that he is a killer and shoots the kid, who collapses, apparently dead.

Didn’t see that one coming.  Now, I think we can assume that Ben does not die because under the Lost time travel rules, you can’t change the future.  I think we can all agree that killing Ben would certainly change something or at least create a paradox that would rip apart the space-time continuum.  And even with Jack on janitor duty, that’s still a huge mess to clean up.  (Speaking of, will Jack operate on Ben and save his life a second time?)

So did future Ben tell Sayid to go back and kill him?  Or is Sayid’s shooting Ben what turned Ben into the devilish man he becomes?  Now I’ve got a headache.  Can someone get me one of those fun sugar cubes?

Season 5, Episode 10: He’s Our You (originally aired March 25, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Would you kill baby Hitler? by Robin Reed.

For more on Lost, click here.

Wednesdays, 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC

30 Rock: Space Press Conference Banner

It’s Jack’s 50th birthday this week, and he’s planning a party. This immediately sent my mind off on a whole “We could certainly party with the Haitians!” riff. But Jack isn’t planning a little garden party, oh no. He’s feeling good – after all, the list he made in 5^th grade of all the things he wanted to do before he was 50 is nearly complete, save for “Be friends with Batman” – and he’s planning a high-end shindig at his place. Fun for everyone!

Meanwhile, Liz gets an unwelcome visit from one Dennis Duffy. I was unthrilled about this as well – I didn’t start watching the show until after Dennis was already gone, and I’ve never enjoyed his return appearances – but this time, he unveils a shocker. It turns out Dennis and Jenna hooked up once upon a time (it’s not their fault, they were feeling very emotional about Hurricane Katrina). But Liz is determined not to let it ruin her friendship with Jenna. Well, she’s determined after she almost kills Jenna via improperly hooked up set equipment, anyway.

Plus, Tracy has decided to fulfill his childhood dream of going into space. He even holds a press conference to announce his plans, complete with microphones from NBC, NBC and MSNBC. Jack won’t let Tracy go to space, but he won’t dash his childhood dream, either, so Liz and Pete and the rest of the crew simulate space travel for Tracy. Wouldn’t it have been easier just to take him to Epcot? 

But the real heart-tugging moments of the episode come, as usual, from Jack. Despite his immense wealth and his Peggy-Fleming-kissing track record, he realizes he’ll never be as happy again as he was when he was 10. But it’s all okay, because Liz was in a sex line commercial once and it was really funny.

And, among the many thought-provoking questions raised by this week’s episode, I’ll leave you with my favorite: Has Tina Fey always had such an awesome Muppet walk, or was that improv?

Other things we learned this week:

• Jenna lost her virginity to the My Fair Lady soundtrack.
• Liz tried to be an actress once. Despite her neck.
• Kenneth sees the world as a 24-hour Muppet show. Jack sees dollar signs on everything. But only Tracy Malkovich Malkovichs.

Lines I resolve to use ASAP:

• What is this, Horseville? Cause I am surrounded by naysayers! Wordplay!
• Shut your white mouth and get that cable, get it!
• I once shot a manatee.
• I don’t have friends at NASA. Bunch of nerds.
• Good luck with your fake addiction and your inconveniently located vending machines.
• The closest I came to vomiting tonight was when I saw Ann Coulter’s shoulder blades.
• You’re no longer my plus one to the Canadian Grammys.
• See you tomorrow, Bijou.

Season 3, Episode 16: Apollo, Apollo (originally aired March 27, 2009)

For more on 30 Rock, click here.

Thursdays at 9:30/8:30C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Jessica Miglio

Life: 5 Quarts

What happens when the guy whose job is to figure out what happened to dead guys becomes a dead guy? That’s what Charlie Crews and his temporary partner Jane Seever have to contend with this week when an L.A. coroner is found killed in the morgue. There’s a whole buffet line of suspects: the other coroners who all disliked him-one of whom filed multiple complaints against him-as well as a group of first-time offenders doing community service right outside the building. To compound the problem, all the cases the coroner was working are now in limbo until the murder is solved, putting extra pressure on Captain Tidwell (and therefore Charlie and everyone else who works for him).

Charlie and Seever decide that maybe that’s a clue. Maybe someone killed the coroner because they wanted to kill his investigations. But the only notable murder the coroner was investigating was that of a celebrity chef who was found dead in his kitchen. It appears that the chef was shot in the back of the head but no bullet was found. And because there was no exit wound, it would mean that somebody would have had to have dug the bullet out of the chef’s skull. Yikes. The chef doesn’t seem to have had any enemies, but he was associated with the county’s biggest bookie. The bookie would seem to be a likely suspect, but in actuality he is so distraught over the chef’s death that he’s practically suicidal. That guy must have really been a good cook.

Charlie finds a discrepancy between the front page photo of the dead chef and the crime scene photos: in the front page photo there is a clear puddle under his hand, but in the crime scene photos there is only blood. No puddle. So Charlie and Seever question the photographer, Kathy. Kathy claims she used her winning smile to charm the cops into letting her get that close to the dead chef’s body. I could buy that if Emily Deschanel were saying it, but I don’t buy it for this Kathy person…and neither does Charlie. But without giving away the details, Charlie learns that the chef actually wasn’t murdered, so Kathy goes off the suspect radar for a while.

From there, the investigation goes in typically unpredictable, wonderfully bizarre directions, including after-hours goth morgue shindigs and pregnancy hormones. This is what Life does like no other show on tv: take a familiar genre and somehow manage to consistently put a fresh, fun, entertaining spin on it.

Meanwhile, Ted has another meeting with his daughter that leads to two hilarious and heartfelt scenes that made me laugh out loud. And the rising suspicion that has been building separately between Charlie and Reese is resolved in a really satisfying way, demonstrating the power of trust between partners, something we all should aspire to. But Charlie finds out from former enemy now tentative ally Agent Bodner that Reese’s little FBI detail is not what it appears to be, and the end of the episode gives reason to believe that Reese might be heading for some serious trouble.

The one thing I miss in Life lately is Rachel. It seems like she has been gone for a long time now and I have no idea where she is or what she’s up to. I can’t believe it has been almost a full season for Life. I’m not ready for it to end, and I’m hoping against hope that it miraculously gets a third season. Seriously, it’s such a brilliant show, I can’t understand why nobody watches it. Please please watch the last remaining episodes of the season so we can try to spike ratings. If you get nothing out of them, I will give you my firstborn child.

Season 2, Episode 19: 5 Quarts (originally aired March 25, 2009)

For more on Life, click here.

Wednesdays at 9/8c, NBC
Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and IMDbPro

America’s Next Top Model: Put Your Best Face Forward

This week, we welcome very special guest, Toccara! And her very special message: Speak up for yourself! No, wait – just kidding – don’t! Tocarra really arrives to deliver Mixed Messages, which leads to all kinds of fun trouble for the rest of us. Thanks, Tyra!

But first! The girls return from judging with an old friend leading the way. That’s right, Sandra’s Ego is back! She gloats about her digital art, ticking off everyone else. She says that “having the best picture shows that [she's] better than the other girls.” I don’t think I need to comment on that at all. Tahlia interviews that her positive feedback from panel lifts her spirits and the other girls need to focus.

Then there’s a knock at the door, and low and behold, it’s Toccara! And that means …. Slumber party! Toccara talks to the girls about Personality: if you’ve got it, flaunt it! Don’t be afraid to speak up (unless it’s panel, I guess, but more on that later). She says that the winner should have a huge personality because they’re going to be a spokesperson. Maybe Tyra’s just now realizing what a mistake she made by choosing McKey. Sam was all personality. And furthermore – nevermind, don’t get me started.

Tocarra thinks that no one stands out this cycle – the girls need to loosen up and break out. She’s so right. A lot of the girls have distinct personalities, but no one really catches your attention, unless they’re bitching and moaning about someone else.

The next morning, it’s off to the Marquis for posing lessons with Benny Ninja! And some model-turned-DJ named Sky Nellor. Sky “drops some tracks” while the models use the music to inspire their posing. All of the girls look ridiculous, but Allison, Sandra, Kortnie, and Tahlia do the worst. All of this leads to this week’s challenge, which is a Pose-off in front of “the fashion elite,” i.e., Benny Ninja’s friends. The girls will dress in fashion by The Blondes, using music to showcase the fashion. Some of the girls panic, and some of them love it. Celia thrives on anything involving an audience, so she’s just sky high right now. She has crazy eyes whenever she talks about runway-type events.

Again, most of the girls tank, but Celia, Natalie, and Fo do the best. It comes down to Natalie and Celia, with Celia ultimately beating out an unbalanced Natalie. As you’ve probably guessed, Celia rides this high for most of the day. I think she’s the last one to change out of her dress, make-up and wig.

Tahlia, meanwhile, takes the boos she received during the Pose-off to heart, even though she was not the only one to receive them. She uses the word “overwhelmed” several times, and later that night, tells Allison she wants to go home. She also interviews that she’s considering the idea of throwing in the towel now, as the competition is doing more harm than good for her self-esteem. Celia thinks Tahlia should quit and let those who love modeling have their chance. If you’re not in it to win it, go home!

Off to the photo shoot, as the girls head to Ellis Island, this week modeling as freshly arrived immigrants. High Fashion Immigrants, that is. Benny Ninja and a small brood of children arrive to play the “family.”

Sandra gives boring, disappointing Jay. He likes how London immediately finds her character. She has beautiful eyes, doesn’t she? Special thanks to Kate Winslet for providing London with her inspiration, though at home, everyone correctly remembers that Kate, in Titanic, was not an immigrant. Still, it works for London!

Natalie calls on her ancestors for her shoot, and she, Fo, and Teyona do well. Kortnie continues to deliver weird photos. Jay says that she struggles for too long, and comes off boring. He loves Tahlia, and he thinks she’s grown since the first photo shoot. Celia admits that photo shoots aren’t her forte, but she seems to do all right. Aminat provides strong poses, but loses it in the face. Allison fell in love with the shoot, and honestly, she looks adorable between the big hair and big eyes.

Tahlia’s not so down on leaving anymore, now that she received a string of compliments from Jay and nabbed a good photo. Later, the girls gossip in one of the bedrooms, complaining about Tahlia’s attitude. Celia thinks that if Tahlia avoids elimination, they should all revolt. Oh god, I hope that happens. Because Tahlia’s not going anywhere.

Judging. Teyona’s up first, and Nigel calls her photo sensational. London looks fantastic, but her pose is funky and she’s disconnected from the family. Nigel doesn’t like Sandra’s photo, as it’s another profile shot, and Benny tells the panel that Sandra couldn’t grasp the concept during the shoot. Ouch, Benny! Allison looks adorable, if slightly child-like. The entire panel, including Benny, loves Aminat’s photo. Paulina calls Fo’s picture her least favorite, with the same problems as London’s photo. Natalie looks like Keira Knightly, prompting Tyra to break into a British accent (oh, bullocks), and Kortnie’s photo is “sour.” She underperformed and lacked tension. Nigel says Tahlia’s shot is the best photo so far, but she needs to work on her look in person. The children upstage Celia in her photo, and she fails to impress. More dead eyes!

Over deliberation, the judges choose Aminat, Tahlia, and Teyona as their favorites, and Sandra, Kortnie, Fo, Celia, and Natalie as the most “sour!” (Thanks again to Benny, for teaching us a new word to overuse. You’re the best!)

Called first: Tahlia. Oh snap! I wonder what Celia’s thinking now! Bottom two: Sandra and Kortnie. Kortnie’s energy doesn’t translate to photos, and Sandra’s resting on good looks with minimal effort. Going home: Kortnie. No, wait! Up steps Celia, and is this girl crazy? Yes, she is, because she joins Kortnie and very politely (and clearly scared as hell), tells Tyra that she doesn’t think it fair that Tahlia, who has expressed her wish to go home this week, stay in the competition when other girls have the desire to remain. Tyra just as politely, but with the ‘tude of someone who doesn’t like being upstaged, tells Celia that what’s unfair is Celia speaking for Tahlia, who hasn’t said boo to Tyra or the judges. Now get the hell back in line, girl. Celia does, after apologizing, and immediately starts crying, because she knows she just screwed herself worse than a bad photo could ever have done. Celia was going strong, but what has she done now? Especially since none of the girls had her back. Not that they were expecting Celia to say anything (I think) but Celia was definitely on her own up there, despite the conversation from the night before. Oh, the fallout from this should be interesting.

Not that I wish Celia any harm, because even though she’s the oldest, she has the most genuine enthusiasm of anyone, but I’ve been so bored so far, the next episode should be good. Sorry, girl!

And with that, the judges have spoken, and Kortnie quietly makes her exit. I’m not sure we’ll remember her next week either. How come the redheads never win?

Next week: The Fallout!

Season 12, Episode 5: Put Your Best Face Forward (originally aired March 25, 2009)

For more on America’s Next Top Model, click here.

Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW

Gossip Girl: Keeping Up With the Vanderbilts

This week we come to term with our legacy, or at least what we think our legacies should be.

For Nate, he’s following in his maternal family’s tradition of overachieving through the well-worn paths of legacies and connected relatives.  What am I talking about?  Well, this week Nate reconnects with his extended family who he hasn’t seen since the whole affair with his father’s felonies.  After some prodding by Vanessa, Nate relents and they go to the family reunion.  Of course Vanessa does not like the inherent elitism with it all since she’s a granola supporting “failed socialist policies,” which yes, I know that phrase is redundant.  So when Nate announces he’s taking his grandfather’s arranged internship with the Mayor (Commissioner of Salt?), Vanessa realizes their summer of hippie loafing/backpacking across Europe is no more.  She’s disappointed and probably feeling more inadequate and dismissed than she did all weekend.

Blair, on the other hand, is giving up on her image and whoring it up with Carter Baizen when Chuck stops by to see her and her lonesome.  She’s drinking and not having any of Chuck; she’s also doing the opposite of whatever it is Blair Waldorf won’t do.  Serena and Chuck are concerned about Blair’s behavior and set up a meeting with Carter to get him out of town.  Serena threatens to tell Blair about Santerrini and while I’m confused, he relents and leaves town, noting that his departure is merely a symptom of Blair’s disease.

And what is that disease?  Begging for admission to Sarah Lawrence.  Thinking Blair is up to no good, Serena and Chuck storm in to her meeting with the president of Sarah Lawrence at just the time he’s dismissing her pleas for admission.  The next day Blair is getting drunk and telling people off at the country club (and calling out the waiter’s bubble butt).  Chuck pulls her out of the room to talk some sense into her.  She makes a move for him but he and his pink bowtie turn her down.

She walks out to a balcony to brood over where her life went wrong, when Nate joins her and they reminisce about their first time at the club together.  At this point we pause to remember that these two used to date.  (Seriously, I forgot.)  They realize they both are lost and rudderless.

Being the gentleman that he is, Nate takes Blair home after the party, where she asks him to stay.  Chuck drops by to see Blair but as Dorota shows him the door, he spots Nate’s jacket (with family crest) on the floor.

With the adults, Lily slept with a lot of people and lied about it to Rufus when they exchange lists of sex partners.  On the more interesting side, Lily slept with Slash and Trent Reznor, and Rufus’s lovers don’t equal a baker’s dozen.

So for all of the whining that normally goes on with the characters, this was a good week for two reasons: (1) minimal Dan and (2) minimal Serena (i.e., no one left to whine!).  It’s about time Nate got his own storyline, and while Blair’s actions were odd even for her, her getting back with Nate will make a great set up for the rest of the season.

Next week: Jenny Humphrey is Sweet Sixteen.

Season 2, Episode 19:  The Grandfather (originally aired March 23, 2009)

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For more on Gossip Girl, click here.

Mondays at 8/7C, The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW

American Idol: Happy Camper

Berry Gordy and Smokey Robinson are in the hoooooouse! I love Motown, but when you love something so dearly, it’s hard to mess with it. Motown week can sometimes be very scary.

The founder of Motown and Mr. Smokey himself give the Top 10 a tour of Hitsville U.S.A. where his dream and the dreams of many others blossomed.  Then they got to sing “Ain’t Not Mountain (High Enough)” with Smokey as their mentor. How awesome must this week have been for them! I know I would be jumping up and down, crying and humming great songs the entire week.

Matt kicks off the night with “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye and gets a great compliment when Smokey said, “Marvin would love that…that really touched me.” Awww, why does Smokey always tear me up? What’s Smokey’s real first name? It feels weird to keep calling him Smokey, but to heck with it. Matt starts out at the piano, but quickly slides off for the first time on the big stage. He looks like he’s ready to sing in the glee club with that sweater and tie. He must realize he’s in the middle of the pack where he hasn’t really made an impression on most of the audience. (You’ve got me already Matt, no worries!)

Kris sings “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You)”. He sticks to what he does best, acting the part of this season’s Jason Castro but so much cuter and a much better singer. With his Jason Mraz-y, John Mayer vibe, he jams out on his guitar. Oh the ladies this guy would get after this show, if only he weren’t married already at the ripe age of like 22. It’s definitely an awesome, upbeat rendition and at this point I’m thinking, we’re two for two so maybe Motown night won’t be trampled.

Wait! I spoke to soon because Scott MacIntyre butchers The Supremes’ “You Can’t Hurry Love.” First, a man should never sing this song. It’s sugary and cheery and GIRLY! Unless you’re the Jackson 5 with a pre-pubescent  lead singer. Second, he slows down the beginning of the song until its unrecognizable, droll and boring. Yeah, I like it when the singers play the piano, but this isn’t enough to liven up this performance.

Megan Joy is up next, and if you didn’t know, our tattooed beauty has gone from Megan Corkrey to Megan Joy Corkrey to Megan Joy. We’ve just witnessed the transition of a woman leaving her divorced past behind her. I kind of like the symbolism. Singing “For Once in My Life,” Megan, again, looks great but unfortunately is really off key.

“Ooh Baby Baby” is a classic Smokey and the Miracles song, so I was extremely scared that Anoop might have picked something too big for his britches, but I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t the most exciting performance, and some of the high notes wobbled, but overall it proved the boy could blow again.

Michael is one of my least favorites still in the competition. For me it’s not just about personality because he’s obviously sweet. If you don’t sing as well as the other contestants, you just don’t have a chance to win me over with your winning smile.  He sings “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” which still brings vibrant, visceral memories to mind when I think of my childhood. And I know there’s no way he can do it justice. Instead he just scratches his voice along with a few notes, and once again Michael, my point is proven.

Lil Rounds tackles “Heat Wave,” and I like it a lot more than the judges do. They’re pissed that she didn’t pick a song that could show of her powerhouse voice, but I like that she chose a song that was upbeat and fun and showed she didn’t have to be so serious all the time. And I still thing she sounds great even if there were no soaring or crescendoing notes. Lil is obviously a little taken back by the criticism since she’s so used to getting sweet, sweet praise, but I don’t think she’ll be going anywhere soon so rest easy.

Adam picks an interesting song in “Tracks of My Tears.” It’s not as well known as most of the other choices, but it’s a simple and beautiful song. Once again, I’m not as floored by the vocals as the judges and audience are, but I can appreciate his choice of performing the song. He keeps it bare and acoustic which is a brave and different choice. I commend him for that, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the desire to purchase his album. I’m hoping it’s not going to be one of “those” American Idol seasons with Adam going all the way and me hating him the entire time.

For the first time Danny isn’t one of my favorite performers of the night. I wouldn’t have chose a song like “Get Ready” for him, and I agree with the judges that it seemed a little rushed and amateurish. Like Lil, it’s clear this guy can sing the phonebook and sound fabulous, but tonight there wasn’t that Danny Gokey connection with the song and the audience.

Allison Iraheta my little rocker chick. She reminds me of the rocker in me when I was a teenager but way cooler and more natural. “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” was built for someone with a powerful, captivating voice, and luckily, that’s what the heavens above have blessed this chica with. Hello, it’s Kelly 2.0. We need another Miss Independent!

THE PREDICTIONS

I just reviewed my recap, and I could come up with five people that I could see in the bottom. Michael Sarver will be there for sure, along with Megan Joy. Scott MacIntyre should be there, but people love a triumphant story so I think he will be in it for a while. Adam should be there because he makes me want to push the mute button, but he’s adored so my decision is vetoed, and Danny performed poorly enough to be pushed down to the bottom but doesn’t deserve to go. And with the comments from the judges, Lil Rounds may be in danger.

With two solid bottom contestant, I just hope the third wildcard is either Adam or doesn’t result in Danny or Lil going home in an upset. I guess there’s always the torturous SAVE.

AND THE RESULTS ARE IN…

Let’s make this short and sweet because I’m a happy camper. Now if only he had gone last week and I’d gotten to see Alexis perform one more time. The rejected is Michael Sarver! And I almost wish we didn’t have to hear him sing again because there’s no way the judges are going to save him or save him with THAT song even if they are fake fighting about it.

What’s awesome about tonight is I get to hear Stevie Wonder perform, and I can only imagine what it must have been like for Scott to be there. I’m sure he got to meet him, if I was Stevie, I’d want to meet him too.

Rubin also performed but I was a little underwhelmed. I mean I remember falling in love with this teddy bear, and now I’m thinking he’s not THAT awesome. Oh, well. The competition is getting stiff and it really is going to come down to song choice; one bad performance and you could be out. The stiffness makes the drama taste that much sweeter. Yum!

Season 8, Episodes 22 & 23: Top 10: Performances & Top 11: Results (originally aired March 25-26, 2009)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Battlestar Galactica: Deus ex Cylonica

The Cylons were created by Man.
They were created to make life easier on the Twelve Colonies.
And then the day came when the Cylons decided to kill their masters.
After a long and bloody struggle, an armistice was declared.
The Cylons left for another world to call their own.
A remote space station was built…
Where Cylon and human could meet and maintain diplomatic relations.
Every year, the Colonials send an officer…
The Cylons send no one.
No-one has seen or heard from the Cylons in over forty years…

After the past four seasons and four years of fleeing from the surprise Cylon attack, this week everything is resolved in a nice, contrived but somewhat satisfying package.

We begin with the launch of Galactica’s attack on the Cylon Colony to recover the kidnapped human-Cylon child Hera.  The battle is, in a word, amazing both in the action and the visual effects–and let’s not forget the red stripe Cylons fighting along with the Colonials.

Lead by Kara, Athena and Helo get Hera off of the ship but then she runs off when Cavil shows up in an offensive attack.  Slowly we see the pieces of the puzzle come together as Roslin and Athena begin chasing Hera through Galactica as we cut back and forth between their visions from the Opera House.  Hera finds Caprica-Six and new enlistee Gaius Baltar and the two of them take Hera . . . just like in their shared Opera House vision.  And where is the Opera House?  Why the CIC!  The four players enter the CIC and see the Final Five standing on an upper level (ok, Anders is in a tub hooked up to Galactica).  Cavil is also there and has taken Hera hostage, threatening to kill her unless the Final Five share their knowledge of resurrection.  They reluctantly agree as part of a greater truce between the Cylons and Colonials.

The Final Five compile the information, but to do so they must share their knowledge by putting their hands in Anders’s tub of goo (seriously); the downside is they also get to read each other’s minds.  This concerns Tory who apologizes a lot before Tyrol “sees” Tory’s memory of killing Tyrol’s wife Callie.  Tyrol doesn’t like this, breaks the connection, and strangles Tory to death.  A Number Five thinks it’s an elaborate plot and starts shooting at people, which causes everyone to open fire.  At the same time, a raptor accidentally launches nukes into the Cylon Colony.  Realizing there is no way out of this, Cavil, filled with rage and fear, shoots himself in the head.  And so ends the war with the Cylons.

But Galactica is not out of the woods yet.  They’ve got to jump and fast.  With Kara at the FTL controls, Adama orders her to enter coordinates to anywhere even if she doesn’t know the rendezvous spot for the rest of the fleet.  At this point, all of Kara’s visions make sense–the notes of the song are the coordinates for where they need to go.  Galactica jumps and we see a planet with a continent that looks like Africa.  After getting the rest of the fleet to join them, they explore this new planet and discover its primitive human civilization, which developed independent of our Colonials.

At this point I’m confused because weren’t they already at Earth?  Oh no, they were on a different planet that also looked like Earth but was what they called Earth not what we know as Earth.

Moving on, though.  The fleet decides that the only way to break the cycle of violence between man and machine is to abandon all technology and start civilization anew on this new Earth.  They send the fleet and a destroyed Galactica–commanded by robotic Anders–into the Sun, and they divide up the remaining fleet population to various spots on the planet “to maximize their chances of survival.”  The remaining Cylons are given the Basestar and their freedom, with the hope that on their own they will leave humanity alone.

So what happens to everyone?

• Adama and Roslin share one final flight to look at flamingos, at which point she finally passes away. He buries her on a hilltop where he’s going to build that cabin they dreamed about. We are led to believe that he lives out his final days on that hilltop and never sees anyone else again.
• Colonel and Mrs. Tigh reunite and join one of the new communities.
• Lee presumably takes a position of leadership but ends the series as he began: alone. (But we know he probably scores a hottie.)
• Kara really died when her viper exploded. She returned to the fleet as an angel of God and fulfilled her mission by ultimately leading everyone to the real Earth. She vanishes in front of Lee right after Adama says his goodbyes to both of them.
• Tyrol went to live alone in the Highlands.
• Baltar and Caprica-Six renew their relationship and Baltar shares his childhood knowledge of agriculture, perhaps ushering in an early Neolithic Revolution. They both saw visions of the other person and those visions were of guardian angels that took the form of the other person.
• Helo survived a gunshot during the battle and he and Athena stay with Hera.
• Hera grew up and died. About 150,000 years later her remains were discovered and she is the so-called Mitochondrial Eve from which all present-day humans descended.

In the epilogue, we see the guardian angel versions of Baltar and Caprica-Six in a modern-day city telling the story of what happened to Hera and how significant she was to the continuation of humanity.  We get to see a cameo of show creator Ronald D. Moore reading an article about “Eve” and then see clips of current human robotic technology showing over the real “All Along the Watchtower” playing.

So that was Battlestar Galactica.  With a show that dropped off significantly after the New Caprica episodes, I think this ultimate resolution was the best we could expect.  Was it simple, convenient, and contrived?  Yes, but it wrapped up all of the major outstanding issues so I’ll give the writers some credit for that.  (But a final scene with Adama and Tigh would have been nice and the Opera House reveal was a letdown.)

While I suspected Hera was Eve at the end of Season Three, the writers threw me off with the introduction of the first Earth-non-Earth.  We never got the full story on Kara’s father and I think that issue will be resolved in The Plan, which tells the story of the Cylons before and during the attack on the Colonies.  It would also be nice to get more of an explanation of the Hybrids’ prediction that Kara would lead humanity to its doom.  She didn’t.

On the greater theme of the series, I was disappointed.  I get the “all this has happened before,” etc., need to not perpetuate the cycle of animosity and violence between civilizations but what was the great significance of Hera?  Did no one else have children once they landed on Earth?  If so, were all of those children human-Cylon hybrids?  Doubtful.  Maybe none of their descendants survived but that is also doubtful.

With the ending, it’s cute that they wound up on our Earth and we’re supposed to be the descendants of these folks.  However, I do not believe that even with the desire to end human-machine violence people would willingly give up all technology and go back to primitive society.  And we see in the end that the threat of another machine-human competition is still present.

But looking back on the entire run of the series, this was great science fiction even if there were ups and downs throughout the series.  I am hopeful of two things.  First, BSG will set a new bar for science fiction television programming since the show proved that you do not need to sacrifice acting, character development, and writing just because it is the “lesser genre” of science fiction.  Second, that while my laptop was made by man to make my life easier, it will not rebel.  Fingers crossed here.

So say we all.

Season 4, Episode 20: Daybreak Part 2 (originally aired March 20, 2009)

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For more on Battlestar Galactica, click here.

Sci Fi, Fridays at 10/9c

Photographs courtesy of Carol Segal, NBC Universal

Chuck vs. The Predator

This latest episode of Chuck is exactly like every other episode; they’re indistinguishable. You know you’re going to have a couple of scenes where Chuck and Sarah dance around their feelings for each other. You know there are going to be some Fulcrum baddies or other nefarious types and Chuck is going to have an Intersect moment, and we’ll see all kinds of images flashing in his brain, a motif that goes back at least until Alan Pakula’s 70′s classic The Parallax View.

I guess I shouldn’t begrudge a show for having a formula, as that’s what the whole cornerstone of network tv is. Even Life, which I rave about, has a formula (although it’s a much more creative, innovative formula). But somehow Chuck just annoys me. I think the writing has really gotten lazy, or they’ve just run out of ideas. The charm of the cast can’t cover up how lame the storylines are anymore.

As we begin this week, Chuck is still trying to find this Orion character that has the ability to potentially get the Intersect out of his head, meaning Chuck could go back to his normal life. My question is why would he want it? The guy’s a loser. He’s so madly in love with Sarah, why wouldn’t he want to stay around her? If he loses the Intersect, he loses her. He lives with his sister, he works at an electronics store…is he really missing that much? I think dodging bullets is a small price to pay, but that’s me. Chuck does however suspect general Beckman of not really pursuing finding Orion, and rightfully so. As we learn later on, she is not exactly a beacon of light and justice.

Chuck continues to conduct his own investigation, using some internet voodoo he has cooked up. And he succeeds somehow. Orion contacts him through his computer from Hong Kong, though their conversation is interrupted by Fulcrum agents. These baddies are everywhere! This time around, the head honcho is played by Arnold Vosloo, who always plays a villain. His best roles were in Hard Target and Blood Diamond. Here he’s just slumming it.

Orion contacts Chuck again at the Buy More and tells him that he is sending a next generation, super-potent computer to Chuck there. Except, because we’re at the Buy More, you know some ridiculous shenanigans are going to ensue. This time, Lester somehow intercepts the computer and mistakes it for some new video game deal that Buy More is supposed to be getting. The fact that Buy More is getting this computer irks a rival Buy More, so the B storyline involves the two Buy Mores waging covert wars on each other, with different teams trying to break in and do damage. Tony Hale continues to be a waste on this show. His character isn’t funny, no matter how hard the writers try to make him be that way.

This is an especially weak episode, the only strong point being that Sarah realizes that Beckman isn’t a saint and doesn’t have Chuck’s interests at heart. She starts to question her orders and considers fighting back against the general. That could possibly build to some interesting tension in the last remaining episodes, which the show could desperately use. I keep hearing how the writers have all this wild, “game-changing” stuff planned for the remaining Chuck episodes. All I can say is, I”ll believe it when I see it.

Season 2, Episode 17: Chuck vs. The Predator (originally aired March 23, 2009)

For more on Chuck, click here.

Mondays at 8/7C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Adam Taylor

Sunshine Cleaning’s a Little Cloudy

Sunshine Cleaning feels like a movie you’ve seen before – probably because you have. It’s a murky blend of two better movies: Little Miss Sunshine and In Her Shoes (and probably a dozen others). But what saves Sunshine Cleaning from falling victim to forgotten indie syndrome is its dazzling leading ladies: the always charming Amy Adams (Enchanted) and quickly up and coming star Emily Blunt (Devil Wears Prada). Their super-large expressive eyes are what keep the tired plot from seeming commonplace. You want for these women who find their own little pieces of salvation and confidence in the morbid business of crime scene clean-up.

Like Little Miss Sunshine, Sunshine Cleaning is chock full of quirky moments and lost souls. Its dark comedic moments are never really funny, they’re often too troubling for that, yet somehow they make you laugh. And its redemptive spirit is nothing exceptional as far as movie plots go, but it feels exceptional for these characters. Then there’s Alan Arkin, playing the same yelling grandpa role he played in LMS. It’s a particular kind of type casting he’s found himself stuck in.

But more than LMS, Sunshine Cleaning reminded me of In Her Shoes for its sisters and their burdensome relationship. They lost their mother young – and like another Rose and her little sister – never seem to get over the loss in their adult lives so they find solace in cleaning up the tragedies in other peoples. They screw up, fight, make up, and battle through their abandonment issues and tragically low self-esteem.

Amy Adams is a single mom, still sleeping with the high school boyfriend (the always underappreciated Steve Zahn) who dumped her for his wife long ago.  Her son’s been kicked out of school – again – for licking things, and she doesn’t have the money to send him to private school. So she forgoes the real estate license she’s pursuing for the crime scene clean up business. Plus she’s tired of being a maid, especially for the people she went to high school with who married well, while she peaked as captain of the high school cheerleading team. But her Sunshine Cleaning gives her the opportunity to help others and herself, and revive her self-worth.

However, it is relative newcomer Emily Blunt who steals the show. Her devil may care personality masks a truly unhappy little girl, the kind who’d keep the old photographs of a dead woman and track down her daughter.  Her wide, darkly lined eyes give way to an unnerving deep sadness while her sardonic sense of humor keeps her loveable and charming.  Ultimately, it’s Blunt’s brilliance that keeps Sunshine Cleaning from becoming too cloudy.

So Sunshine Cleaning may not be the indie sleeper hit I was hoping it would be, but it was decent enough fare for a rainy afternoon – a simple and sweet flick about the sunshine after the rain.

Click here for Jaimie’s review!

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