The J Factor Episode 8

Check out Episode #8 – March 23, 2009 – Talking about failures of Watchmen,  Lost midseason review, BSG finale, and Celebrity Apprentice.

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The Office: Michael the Jerk

There are many faces of Michael Scott on The Office. There’s inappropriate but well-meaning Michael. There’s sad, lonely, desperately seeking anyone Michael. There’s clueless to the point of absurdity Michael. There’s barely older than a 12-year-old Michael. And then there’s this week’s Michael – everyone’s least favorite – selfish, stupid, mean Michael.

This week Michael watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and decided he was like Willy Wonka. So he decided to put golden tickets into his paper shipments. The lucky customer who found the tickets would get 10% off their paper sale. Shockingly, I thought this sounded like a pretty good gimmick, except in typical Michael fashion, he did not execute well.

Michael ended up putting five golden tickets in the same paper shipment to their largest client – and incidentally Jim’s biggest client. Jim got a phone call from the client and now lost 50% of the money off their largest sale. Jim – not wanting to be blamed for losing half his commission – called corporate to alert them, and David Wallace called Michael. And then Michael the Jerk reared his ugly head.

Incapable of taking the blame himself, Michael blames the idea on Dwight and then tries to persuade Dwight that he came up with the idea. At first Dwight protests, because he’s never seen the movie and knows it was Michael because he wrote it in his diary. (Dwight keeps a diary to keep secrets from his computer – hehe!). However, being ridiculously loyal to Michael – in this episode anyway – Dwight actually agrees to take the fall for Michael. Even Jim is appalled and tries to talk Dwight out of it.

Then David Wallace shows up and – shocker! – the client loved the discount idea and is now going to buy all of its paper exclusively from Dunder Mifflin. David congratulates Dwight and wants him to talk to their marketing people about some of his other ideas. Michael, however, is not eager to have his credit back – because he’s not at all despicable. So he barges in on the marketing meeting and announces it was him after all and that he just tried to get Dwight blamed when he thought David was going to fire someone. David is so disgusted he just gets up and leaves. And I don’t blame him.

I don’t like selfish, stupid, mean Michael. I don’t think he fits in with the other Michaels – especially not the needy, sensitive Michael who sees all of Dunder Mifflin as his family, and who remembers silly things like the names of Angela’s cats. I prefer that Michael – The Office writers please bring him back.

In other Office plotlines, Kevin was getting dating advice from smug couple, Jim and Pam, and bitter, lonely Andy on how to pursue Lynn. This was by far the superior plot point and brought out brilliant lines, like Kevin confessing “I’m an over-thinker.” Sure you are, Kevin. That’s why Holly thought you were “special” for a whole summer. Plus, it’s nice to see Jim and Pam dispensing advice in cliché couple fashion, and to see how Andy is still affected by his break-up, since Angela seems to have gotten over it all very quickly. However, the best part was when Kevin ignored everyone else’s advice and told Lynn how he really felt. And then blurted out “Boobs”, which could have ruined it, but Lynn didn’t seem to mind. I’ve got to say, I’m rooting for those two crazy kids. The Kevins of this world need some loving too – and hopefully the bumbling, but sweet guys get a little more attention than the mean Michaels next week.

Season 5, Episode 17: Golden Ticket (originally aired March 12, 2009)

For more on The Office, click here.

Thursdays, 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC

Dancing with the Stars: Belinda had to Go Go

Another week, another set of dances, another injury, so it was on Dancing with the Stars. The casualty list continued to pile up this week on DWTS as Steve-O suffered a spinal hematoma and was unable to perform live. And this from the guy who has stapled parts of his body together for kicks? What do they do to these contestants? Anyway, the other twelve competitors did dance, so let’s see how they fared:

Up first this week were Holly Madison and Dmitry doing the odious quickstep. It wasn’t great – but the quickstep is HARD – though I have to agree with Carrie Ann, Holly did look like she was a doll being dragged around the floor. She needs to take charge more, but it was better than last week. Score this week: 18. Total (from last week): 36

Attempting a salsa next, was David Alan Grier – with partner Kym – who didn’t pull any faces this week, but who did manage to lose his rhythm. The timing was always a little bit off, and it was noticed by the judges. Though he was yucking it up less in the rehearsal tape this week, so that was nice to see. Score: 17. Total: 36

Denise Richards and Maks were up with the next quickstep. Again, it was so-so. The footwork didn’t seem to be quite there, but the judges thought she was much improved. I don’t see it – but maybe I’m blinded by my dislike for her. Score: 21. Total: 39

Next up, Belinda Carlisle and new pro Jonathan performed a vigorous salsa. Belinda was shimmying and shaking it out there, but the judges were not feeling it. Even Carrie Ann said it was lacking in grace. Ouch! I have to say, the judges are notoriously harder on the females in their judging, because compared with what the men get away with, this was Swan Lake. But never mind my opinion, her scores were miserable. At least she looked like she was having fun. Score: 18. Total: 35

Shy cowboy, Ty Murray and plucky partner Chelsie Hightower had a difficult, but masterly quickstep. Ty really took charge and his upper body strength proved a great asset for the rigid, but quick dance. It was like he was a different person from last week’s lost boy. It was actually pretty darn good – Carrie even yee-hawed. Score: 20. Total: 34

Little gymnast Shawn Johnson had to salsa this week and was very uncomfortable shaking her hips, because she’s never been allowed to dance like that before. Poor girl! She never learned to dirty dance? Boy has she been missing out. You parents out there, this is what happens when you don’t let your children attend high school like normal kids. Or maybe she was just smart and knew that if she pretended she couldn’t shake it, partner Mark Ballas would keep gyrating around “demonstrating”. Mark’s single, right? No? (Call me!) Anyway, whether she could move her hips or not was irrelevant. Her salsa was perfectly crisp and impressive, though it did lack that down and dirty Latin flavor – which Bruno was quick to point out. Bruno suggested that the 17-year-old minor needs to be more “naughty”. I’m pretty sure that was illegal. Score: 24. Total: 47.

Google geek Steve Wozniak was another who suffered an injury this week, with a fractured foot. But the dance went on, and he and partner Karina performed an awkward but exuberant quickstep. The judges were in agreement that the dancing wasn’t very good, but he is a good performer. Bruno even compared him to Wall-E – which has to be better than last week’s gay teletubby. Score: 17. Total: 30

Real-life lovers Julianne Hough and cutie-pie Chuck Wicks had a salsa next, but Chuck had a hard time doing the “feminine” hip moves. (Clearly he didn’t see my reaction to Mark Ballas’ moves.) While he claimed to have gotten it down in his rehearsal videos – by channeling Derek Hough – Chuck did very little on the dance floor. Julianne was doing all the work, while he just followed her around. The judges took notice and were disappointed, because they think he has potential. However, they didn’t seem to let that affect their scores and rewarded him for looking pretty standing next to Julianne. Score: 20. Total: 40

Up next was football star Lawrence Taylor who wanted to prove himself after clunking his way through last week. And prove himself, he did with a jaunty little quickstep with Edyta. It was so surprisingly good, that I believe I giggled at the end of it. What is it about seeing a big man dance that’s so charming? Anyway, Carrie Ann obviously agreed and sang “that’s the way I like it” and even Len gave it a “well done”. Score: 20. Total: 36

Then it was time for Steve-O to salsa with Lacey, but unfortunately he was preoccupied at the hospital with a giant welt on his spine after landing on his microphone pack. So instead they had to use the tape of their dance at rehearsal. The camera angles were bad, and both dancers were obviously half-assing it. In short, it wasn’t very good. Not good at all. And the judges and Lacey knew it. She was definitely seeing curtains, and then Carrie Ann had the nerve to try and blame Steve-O’s injury on Lacey trying to do too much. I wanted to hit Carrie Ann a little for cruelty. Score: 14. Total: 31

Lil’ Kim was up next with a quickstep, trying to prove that she could be elegant. Dancing to “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” with partner Derek, she was actually quite graceful and entertaining, though close your mouth girl! Are you catching flies? Carrie Ann and Bruno thought it was fantastic, but Len did not like the distance between the partners during the dance. Lil’ Kim blamed her “boobies”. Nice. Score: 23. Total: 44

Dumped Bachelorette Melissa Rycroft was up next, trying to explain away how her Dallas Cowboy Cheerleading doesn’t just disqualify her as a professional in her rehearsal tape. By the way, it totally should. Haven’t you seen Making the Team on CMT? Those girls have years and years of dance experience. But I guess no one cares after they’ve humiliated you on national television and are trying to make it up to you and exploit your grief. Way to go, ABC! Anyway, Melissa performed a spicy and very, very good – almost professional (gasp!) – salsa with partner Tony Dovolani, who must feel like he won the lottery. The judges were in awe – because they’re clueless to her dance experience? – and handed her the first 9s of the season. Score: 26. Total: 49

Gilles Marini and partner Cheryl Burke had a task ahead of them after leading last week, especially with the less exciting quickstep as their dance. So they came out on the dance floor and killed it. Dancing to a Superman hymn, Gilles – in Clark Kent glasses – finished off the dance by flinging off the specs and ripping open his shirt to reveal a superman-styled “G” as he slid across the floor. Yowsa! And ladies, just so you know, before he was a model and naked on Sex in the City, Mr. Marini was a French Fireman and military man who really did save lives. Feel free to swoon. The judges certainly did. Score: 27. Total: 51

Then it was time for Tom and Samantha to say goodnight and shamelessly plug ABC’s new show, Castle - which you should totally be watching because Nathan Fillon is awesome, and Stana’s not half bad either. And on a last note, what was up with the girl from The Real Housewives of New York City sitting behind Tom all night smiling like an idiot? Did no one else find this irritating?

On to Tuesday night’s result show then …

The night opened with a lively swing number performed by some of the pros (Lacey and Mark were best) and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. Steve-O was back and walking around, though Lacey was hoping they wouldn’t have to dance since he’s still in bad shape. (Oh yeah, there’s a dance off for the lowest scoring twosomes – because the show wasn’t quite dramatic enough).

As usual, there were several performances as Tom and Samantha (in a gorgeous red dress with a pocket – I want it!) slowly revealed who was safe. First, there was a Macy’s Stars of Dance show choreographed by Mickey Rooney’s son. It was so-so. Then Jewel sang “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” while new pros Dmitry and Chelsie showed off their skills with a truly breathtaking and gorgeous dance – easily the evening’s highlight. Finally they announced the final couple safe: it was Steve-O and Lacey, who squealed with relief. Left in jeopardy were boring Belinda & Jonathan and Steve Wozniak & Karina.

Both couples performed their dances from Monday night again for the dancing showdown, or whatever. Both of them made mistakes again, and the judges didn’t think either one improved much. They rewarded them both with the same score of 17. So it would still come down to how the audience voted.

So did America vote for the former Go-Go girl or the Google geek? Well, America does love to Google, and it was the geek who took it. Belinda was sent on her way.

Season 8, Round 1, Part 2: Episodes 2 and 3 (originally aired March 16 and 17, 2009)

For more on Dancing with the Stars, click here.

Competition Mondays at 8/7C, ABC

Elimination Tuesdays at 9/8C, ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC

Damages: Out Come the Skeletons

In the first appropriately named episode all season, last Wednesday’s episode of Damages, “Uh oh, Out Come the Skeletons,” was full of dangerous revelations, dirty double-crosses, and troubling confessions.

Dirty Cops: After ignoring informant Ellen’s seemingly boring Federal agents all season, Damages surprised me this week by making Agent Werner and Agent Harrison interesting – and integral to the plot.

Trouble begins brewing between the agents when Harrison picks up Werner’s cell phone, thinking it’s his partner’s nagging soon-to-be ex-wife who has supposedly been calling him all season. Except when he picks up the line, it’s a dude. Harrison asks Werner about it, and after failing to lie his way out of it, Werner admits that he made a deal with some nameless man. He tells him what’s going on in the Patty Hewes investigation in exchange for some extra cash. Harrison is appalled, but Werner argues that there could be money in it for him too.

Harrison thinks it over and tells Werner he’d like to meet this guy paying him for Patty Hewes information. Werner’s thrilled and heads off on a date. A few minutes later, a faceless intruder shows up in Harrison’s apartment with a toolbox. By the time Werner gets back, Harrison’s dead on the couch with a needle in his arm. It looks like an overdose, but Werner knows better and confronts his nameless man.

It’s Dave – Kendrick’s buddy and the guy setting Patty’s husband up as Energy Secretary. Werner knows it was Dave who was responsible. Dave tells Werner that Harrison called their bureau chief to report him, but don’t worry, the chief’s in Dave’s pocket too. So he better get Patty Hewes.

Cut to 1 month later. Ellen’s in the infamous hotel room. But someone’s watching. It’s Agent Werner from a van, watching Ellen on surveillance. Ellen shoots twice. Werner flips out. Who’s playing who?

Meet Dave: Like the FBI agents, Dave continues to build in intrigue this week. At first he seemed like just a lackey, but now he may just be the mover and shaker for all the UNR action. In the restroom – Dave’s meeting place of choice it seems – Dave tells Kendrick about nominating Patty’s husband Phil for Energy Secretary. Kendrick thinks the conflict of interest is brilliant. Dave also tells Kendrick to settle the case with Patty Hewes; Kendrick’s less thrilled about that. He says no, it’s his company, and then Dave mystifyingly asks, “is it?” Wait … isn’t it?

Whatever power Dave has though, it must be great, because Kendrick listens. He tells tough lawyer, Claire, to settle the case for up to $50 million.

Claire gets a Clue: Settling the shareholder case makes little sense to Claire, who bafflingly still thinks Kendrick’s a saint. Celebrating her 20 years with the company, clueless Claire gets choked up talking about Kendrick’s “integrity.” Barf.

After a painful meeting with her father who made her feel guilty for her lack of grandchildren production, Claire stomped off to Patty Hewes, but she wasn’t settling. Claire thinks the whole case is about getting revenge on Daniel Purcell (incidentally a former lover of both ladies), not about UNR. Patty asks if Claire knows about Finn Garrity – the man whose hooker she represented in court. Claire is stumped, and finally starts to realize just how in the dark UNR keeps her. Looking for some clarity, she asks Kendrick about Finn Garrity, but he makes up a lie. Claire, getting wise, starts to investigate and meets with Purcell. Aerocyte is toxic, he tells her. They all lied to cover it up. Claire can’t believe this, but Purcell tells her Kendrick’s not the man she thinks he is. Duh! He helped Daniel cover up his wife’s murder too.

Claire confronts Kendrick on Aerocyte, and he gets angry and lies to her again. So Claire digs up the report and realizes it was doctored. She also looks up Finn Garrity and discovers he’s an energy trader. Finally, Claire puts the pieces together and realizes her precious Kendrick is bad, bad, bad, and she’s spent half her life working for a criminal. But what will make her feel better? A night with wife-murderer, Daniel Purcell, apparently.

Confess to Wes: After last week’s romp in the sack, Ellen was a little shy around Wes this week – not sure about what she still owes dead fiancé, David. So while that meant less sexy Wes action for us viewers, it also meant that Ellen got to keep her head, because you bet that secluded trip to Wes’ cabin was meant to be Ellen’s final destination, if you catch my drift.

Meanwhile Ellen’s mother’s in town, and she’s worried that Ellen has no one to talk to. To solve her loneliness, Ellen goes out binge-drinking with Katie. She gets drunk, hits on tall, dark, and sleazy guy, but luckily ends up in her own bed. As Katie’s tucking her in, Ellen starts to cry, saying she has no one to talk to and babbling about how she doesn’t really work for Patty. Shh, Ellen!

But Ellen can’t stay quiet. Off she goes to Wes – you know, the guy that’s been ordered to kill her. She unwittingly sleeps with the enemy again, and then confesses all. She tells Wes about how Patty tried to kill her and how she’s an informant for the FBI. She asks if he knows what it’s like to live a lie. Silly question, Ellen. On this show everyone’s got skeletons in their closets (or in Wes’ case, an arsenal of weapons), and on Damages they just keep tumbling out.

Season 2, Episode 10: Uh Oh, Out Come the Skeletons (March 11, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Always Have An Ulterior Motive by Alana D.

For more on Damages, click here.

Wednesdays at 10pm E/P on FX

Photograph courtesy of FX and IMDbPro

Dollhouse: Man On The Street

This latest episode of Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse is by far the best yet, boasting plot twists and great action in spades. Ballard takes center stage, making considerable progress in his investigation into the Dollhouse. He discovers a charity that he thinks is a front for Dollhouse payments. People he suspects of being clients all continue to put money into that charity, and the Dollhouse appropriates the funds for their own use and profit. He’s particularly interested in a video game designer named Joel Mynor who makes payments to the charity on the same day every year, so he goes to pay him a visit.

Imagine his surprise when, after going to all the trouble of breaking into the guy’s house and getting past his security guards…because rich video game designers have their own security teams I guess…he discovers that there is an Active there on an engagement with Mynor! And it’s not just any Active…it’s Echo, or as Ballard knows her, Caroline. Ballard has been looking to save Caroline from the Dollhouse since the beginning, and now he has his chance. He is so shocked to see her that he lets his guard down. More security guards come and attack him. Ballard eventually takes them all out in the episode’s first fantastic fight sequence, but in the chaos, Langton arrives and whisks her away, back to the Dollhouse.

That leaves Ballard alone with the Mynor. Ballard tries to get everything he can out of him, using threats and intimidation, but they both know he has nothing to arrest him on. Mynor explains why he hires an Active on the same day every year. He recounts the sad story of how his wife supported him for years while he was struggling to design games, and when he finally hit it big, he bought a house to surprise her, but on her way over, she was sideswiped by a garbage truck. So now he hires an Active on that day every year and pretends it is his wife so he can surprise her with the house. This guy is the first Dollhouse client yet that you can feel any sympathy for, though he’s still a little sick.

Mynor compares his obsession to Ballard’s obsession for finding Caroline, saying that he doesn’t just want to bring down the Dollhouse but that he specifically wants to save her-a hero complex. You get the sense that Ballard secretly questions whether this guy is right or not. Is he in love with Caroline/Echo? To distract himself from answering that question, Ballard goes home and sleeps with his neighbor Millie, who has been after him for weeks. And he starts telling her details of his case, which I’m pretty sure FBI guys aren’t supposed to do.

Back at the Dollhouse, Sierra is acting weird and screams when Victor touches her shoulder. The doctor examines her and sees that she has had sex since her last engagement, so naturally, everyone suspects Victor. Everyone except Langton, who sets up a sting to catch the real molester/rapist scum bag. Ms. Dewitt then sets up a plan to reprogram Echo to come face to face with Ballard again, but this time she will be designed to kill him. Brace yourself for another truly excellent fight scene. You can tell they put a lot of effort into shooting that baby.

There are two big twists in the episode, one of which suggests rather strongly that there may be an inside man in the Dollhouse organization who can help Ballard. But it’s still very murky, and I don’t want to ruin any of the fun surprises the episode has in store for those who haven’t seen it yet. The episode also takes a play from the Life playback and intercuts various interviews with people on the street talking about whether they think the Dollhouse is real or not and what the implications are.

Dollhouse took a big leap forward this time around, and for the first time I am truly looking forward to seeing how it develops from here.

Season 1, Episode 6: Man On The Street (originally aired March 20, 2009)

For more on Dollhouse, click here.

Fridays at 9/8C on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

American Idol: No Dwelling

Wow! They’re really going with this big dramatic entrance every Tuesday. Tonight’s theme is the Grand Ole Opry. Shoot me now. I understand the GOO’s part in American music history, but I’m with Simon. I don’t know if I can handle two whole hours of this.

Randy Travis is this week’s mentor, and one of the best selling artists of all time. I like listening to his thick accent, but I’m not so sure if he constitutes a more “current” mentor like AI has promised.

Texas native Michael kicks it off with Garth Brooks’s “Ain’t Going Down (Til the Sun Comes Up).” He starts out strong even though his rehearsal looked a little rough. I’m liking the lone harmonica guy doing riffs while he sings. But the song has a quick beat and fast lyrics, that it’s hard for him to shine in terms of performance. Randy liked the choice, but didn’t know if it showcased his vocals. Kara missed his big keynotes. Paula thought this genre suits him the best, and Simon gives it a 1.2 out of 10. I think they’re a little hard on him since I don’t think he even has the greatest voice, but he’s so darn likeable.

Alison is next, singing “Blame It on Your Heart” by Patty Loveless. Are the braces off? It looks like it. Congrats Alison! All though I’m sure you wished I’d never noticed them. She looks fantastic, mature, beautiful and sounds damn great.  Hey, it gets to the chorus, and I actually know this country song. More points to you Alison! Kara thinks she can sing the alphabet well. Paula feels like she needs to start experimenting with her vocals. Simon thought it was good but precocious. Randy got the dope vibes.

Kris sings “To Make It To My Love,” the Garth Brooks version. He’s got a sweet voice, but I can’t get Zac Efron out of my head. And why in rehearsal did he play with his guitar but choose not to on stage? I think it was a little boring, but Paula thinks that losing the guitar helped her remember his great voice.

Lil, who Simon refuses to call anything but Little, sings Martina McBride “Independence Day.” She keeps the arrangement basically as is and doesn’t R&B up the song, to the dismay of the judges.

Adam tackles Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” and chooses an interesting, sitar-ed version. At first I was afraid, very afraid, but I actually liked it. Kara’s freaked out by it all, while Paula thinks he always stays true to his artistry. For one of the very few times, I agree with Randy, when he says, the song adaptation was current. Simon could barely hide a laugh when he called it rubbish. I’m not an Adam fan, but his vocal control was on point, and the vibe and the feel was hip and hot. I felt like I was getting hypnotized and sucked into my TV.

Scott should feel right at home this week. Singing, “Wild Angels” by Martina McBride, he’s a little flat and boring tonight. I’m usually enraptured, but it might be his never-ending commitment to all that is sappy that’s wearing on me. Paula loves it, but believes the piano may have become a crutch. Simon disagrees thinking his problem is the song choice. Randy and Kara disagree with the others, wanting him to up his vocal game. He finally got me about half way through the song, but he’s not going anywhere anytime soon so I’m not too worried.

Alexis wants to show us her softer side singing “Jolene” by Dolly Parton. I’m always excited to see her on stage; it’s also one of my favorite songs. She sounds great, but something is off about the arrangement or the tempo or her intonation, and she hits some bad notes. She also seemed like she was somewhere else which I’ve never  seen in her before. Randy thinks she tried to bend it wrong, and Kara thinks she lost her edge. Paula thought she showed different sides of her vocals, and Simons says it was okay, but forgettable.

Danny’s singing Carrie Underwood, and I’m going ‘HUH?!’ Then I think, please not “Jesus Take the Wheel.” And what is it, of course? “Jesus Take the Wheel.” Then I remember that when this kid opens his mouth, he’s awesome. Phew! I’m downloading by the time he gets to the chorus. He was smart to choose a great, recent country song, and an Idol’s at that! Finally, tonight, I’m blown away. Kara and Randy wanted a little more during the verses but loved his power notes. On the other hand, Simon and Paula liked the build.

Anoop’s up with Willie Nelson‘s “Always On My Mind,” and he has a lot to prove this week. I’m liking the haircut, and the fact that he’s gotten more soulful. He needs to make a connection with the audience with his singing which is exactly what he does. Paula announces Anoop’s back! Simon rescinds his early statement that Anoop doesn’t deserve to be here. “You’ve gone zero to hero,” Simon says. Randy loved the arrangement, and Kara is thoroughly impressed.

Meghan Joy  looks fantastic singing “Walking after Midnight.” I really wanted almost anyone else but Tatiana Del Toro to take her spot, but she picks a great song. The end gets a little rocky, but at least she does a lot less of her little dance. And she sounds more confident which makes her more appealing. Randy’s been stealing my brain tonight. Kara agrees, saying “Perfect song, perfect look.” She also has the flu and missed the run through because she was at the hospital. Simon thinks she should have the flu every week. Yes, mister.

Matt  closes out the show! Yaaaay! He’s become my dark horse. It’s not his best vocal, but I’m loving him at an 8 or a 10.

THE RESULTS SHOW

Fast forward, fast forward past the cheesy, singing and dancing, or at least I wish I could except I’m at my boyfriend’s, and he doesn’t have DVR! Damn you!

I’ll get straight to the point. Alison and Matt are quickly pulled into the bottom two, and I’m not a happy camper. Alison is one of my favorites, and if she goes, I may just chuck the remote at the TV. The final contestant to round out the bottom there is Alexis. (Why? Oh, why? Oh, why?)

I know this season has great singers and saying goodbye will be difficult to most of them, but it’s not Alexis’s time! Sure, this was her worst performance to date, but she deserves another chance.

Alison is swiftly sent to sit on her bum, and it’s down to Matt and my girl Alexis. I know who I’m rooting for, but I also know America is in love with Matt so the prospects aren’t looking good.

We’re treated to performances by Brad Paisley and a Carrie Underwood/Randy Travis duet. It’s country, ergo I kind of tune out. But when Carrie hits those big notes, I’m kind of in awe of her talent all over again.

Just as I thought, Alexis is the bottom contestant, and she’s given the opportunity to sing for her life. The judges even clue her in that she was one of the contestants on which they thought they would use the save. Knowing how poorly received her song was last night, I won’t hold my breath.

Luckily, I don’t because I would be blue in the face at this point, and she’s sent home.

I’m sad, and I want to cry, but I need to accept it and move on, right? No dwelling.

Season 8, Episodes 21 & 22: Top 11: Performances & Top 11: results (originally aired March 17-18, 2009)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company

Knowing Knows Entertainment But Not Overall Satisfaction

Let me preface this by saying that I have not turned on Nicolas Cage like a lot of people have. I’ve always found him appealing and I think he’s a talented actor who makes interesting choices. I love how after winning the Oscar for Leaving Las Vegas in 1995, he did what he wanted to do: make kick-ass action movies. And he made three fantastic ones right in a row: The Rock, Con Air, and Face/Off, possibly the greatest non-franchise American action movie ever made. A lot of snobby twits said he sold out for doing these, but I think it is just the opposite. I’ve enjoyed so many of his films over the years, and I think he’s very versatile. Matchstick Men, Lord of War, The Weather Man, the first National Treasure…I even liked Snake Eyes and Windtalkers and last year’s Bangkok Dangerous.

That being said, I acknowledge he has made some stinkers lately, and since around 2006 or so, he has really started to look like hell. He needs a new wig assistant that will give him sideburns, because he really is looking bad and considerably older than his 45 years. This brings us to his latest effort Knowing, which, despite an intriguing premise and very impressive visuals, doesn’t quite deliver the goods.

Cage does solid leading man work as John Koestler, a professor of astrophysics at MIT and a widow trying to raise his young son Caleb. He drinks more than he should and doesn’t believe there is any great meaning in life. In a lecture, he asks his students whether they see the universe as deterministic or random—that is, can understanding the laws of physics mean you can predict everything that will happen in the universe? If Koestler once believed in determinism, he doesn’t now. But his (lack of) faith is tested when his son brings home a page of handwritten numbers from a time capsule that was buried at his elementary school fifty years ago. The film’s prologue shows who wrote the page of numbers and put them in the time capsule: A disturbed little girl named Lucinda.

Koestler stumbles onto the numbers by accident and soon discovers a chilling pattern: groups of numbers all correspond to the dates and fatalities of every major disaster in the last fifty years. Plane crashes, 9/11/2001. even the hotel fire that killed his wife are all there. There are some numbers he doesn’t know the meaning of, and what’s worse, the numbers say that there will be several major disasters in the next few days and maybe even the end of the world. Koestler shows the numbers to a colleague at MIT, but he just thinks Koestler is unbalanced in the wake of his wife’s death. So does Koestler really know that these catastrophes are going to happen or not? There lies the setup for the movie.

It’s a great premise, and Cage is quite good at portraying franticness and dread. In addition to trying to figure out what these disasters are going to be and prevent them, Cage also tries to investigate Lucinda, who killed herself a few years ago. Eventually he tries to recruit her daughter Diana (played by Rose Byrne who is excellent on FX’s Damages) and granddaughter Abby into the fold of things, though Diana wants no part of it, having spent her life living with a disturbed mother who everyone thought was crazy. But only Caleb and Abby can hear and communicate with these creepy-looking guys dressed in black who start appearing and may have something to do with the numbers. Are they good or bad? Human or creature? Alien? All of these questions are part of the framework of the film.

There are truly amazing special effect sequences in Knowing, and the film, which was shot on the Red camera, is expertly shot. The director, Alex Proyas, of Dark City and I, Robot, has some unexpected tricks in his sleeve, and the film is undeniably entertaining. But I found that the ending didn’t really pay off in the major way it should, and brought nothing new to the table. The whole film often reads like a poor man’s Signs, and the similarities are undeniable: a widowed father who has lost his faith dealing with supernatural events as he tries to keep his family together. The ending is somewhat bold for a mainstream star vehicle, but it doesn’t really hit it out of the park. There is suspense in the film but I was never totally on the edge of my seat. So in summary, it’s an entertaining film and Cage does a solid job, but it is nowhere near a classic sci-fi film or supernatural thriller. Roger Ebert however raves about Knowing, giving it four stars. I think that’s overkill, but he does have an interesting essay talking about some of the philosophical questions the film poses:
For J.B.’s review, click here.

30 Rock: It’s good to be Jon Hamm

As you probably know, especially if you read Page 6 (of Jenna’s publicist’s e-mails), Jon Hamm is finishing up his three-episode guest star arc on 30 Rock this week. This is good news all around. It’s helpful for the writers, since they get to make jokes about how pretty he is. And it’s even better for us, the viewers, who get to watch him be pretty and enjoy the writers’ jokes, too. (Also, he’s a good actor and stuff.)

This week’s premise: Beautiful people live in a bubble. Jon Hamm has never waited for a table at a restaurant, even at the exclusive Plunder.  He’s never paid a parking ticket. He’s used to gay guys giving him their tennis courts, and being asked to dance by Mayor Bloomberg, and being complimented by strangers on the street, and being invited to model underwear by Calvin Klein. (I assumed it was just some random guy claiming to be Calvin Klein, but turns out it really was CK in the flesh.)

And, at least in Jon Hamm’s case, a lifetime of bubbledom has made him incompetent at everything. He’s a terrible tennis player. He cooks salmon with Gatorade. He doesn’t know the Heimlich, despite being a doctor (but at least now we know how he accidentally took those roofies that time).  He’s not even good in bed. But he thinks he’s amazing at everything, because he’s a victim of our nation’s obscene cult of superficiality. (This is also, by the way, how the writers would like us to see Cherie. But I think Cherie would be the way she is even if she looked like Sandra Bernhard.)

Liz thinks she’s the woman to fix Jon Hamm, even though it’s clear by the episode’s midpoint that he’s very much not right for her, even if he was the model for Prince Eric. Jack encourages her to just let it be – after all, he himself had a Superman chest and deeply blue eyes when he was 25,  so he knows from bubble-beauty. But, as usual, Liz won’t listen. She tries to show Jon Hamm what it’s like to live outside the bubble, beating him at tennis and forcing him to endure the wrath of New York waitresses, but, understandably, he doesn’t like it (it’s very ironic). So Liz breaks up with him. Awww.

Meanwhile, Tracy’s TGS contract is up for renewal. This should be straightforward, since Tracy doesn’t understand the concept of contracts or negotiation, but Jack manages to muck things up, so Tracy quits. Jack flounders around, trying to get Tracy back via Billy Dee Williams impressions and 3 percent raises, but it’s not to be. He even solicits help from Tracy’s sons, and we get an amazing performance from the child actor playing Tracy Junior (“Did you even vote fo’ Obama?!”). Finally, Jack discovers his ace in the hole: Kenneth. Without Kenneth, Tracy has no one to hold his hand during Lost, or get him ‘70s porn, or massage his feet until the helicopter arrives. Jack forces Kenneth to play hard-to-get until Tracy tricks himself into coming back to work. By the skin of your teeth, Donaghy.

Also, Jenna, who deserves an A-plot of her own someday, has decided to cut her hair for charity on The Today Show. Locks of Love turned her down, so she’s donating it to a charity called Merkins of Hope (look it up). Jenna thinks this will be very distressing to everyone. After all, with her long blonde hair, she looks just like Mary Magdalene, but once she finds out about Tracy quitting TGS, she changes her mind and scrambles for her chopped-off strands of hair on live TV. Well, it’s better than being beaten out in a best-dressed contest by Miss Piggy.

Other things we learned this week:

• Tracy and Jack have matching BFF bracelets (it doesn’t stand for what you think).
• Co-workers are better than family, because none of them ask you for your damn bone marrow.
• Tracy has a tactile, kinesthetic learning style.
• Words that describe Jenna’s beauty: “Fading.” “80s.” “1880s.”

Lines I resolve to use ASAP:

• Be a manager. Control your people. Buy better clothes. Just get it done.
• Who’s in charge of my thirst?
• He used Cranston as his gatekeeper!
• We’re talking about my hair, right?

Season 3, Episode 15: The Bubble (originally aired March 19, 2009)

For more on 30 Rock, click here.

Thursdays at 9:30/8:30C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Jessica Miglio

Grey’s Anatomy: George had a line!

::Tear:: ::Tear:: It’s another week of romance and dramedy at its best. On the tissue necessity scale, it was more travel Kleenex pouch, but, then, not every episode can require whole toilet paper roll!

A brief synopsis: if you thought the interns couldn’t get any crazier, well, they proved us wrong; Izzie and Christina hashed it out over what to do now that one of them is terminal; Derek remained contemplative in the woods but sort of came back to his senses; As George said, this week Meredith was “very Bailey.” (Yes, George had a line. He actually was in a few scenes. Hard to believe, I know!)

I’ve been wondering when they’d get back to addressing this random group of interns that they just plopped onto our computer screens. We saw them get a little wacky when they decided to perform surgeries on eachother. They also got a little competitive over the Intern Olympics, but what we haven’t seen is them act a little lovecrazy like our now residents used to be when they were but wee ones. Luckily this week, all that changed.

Seeing the interns all battered and bloodiereminded me of the good old days. How much did we love our favorite group of interns when they were, as my mom says, actin’ a fool. I guess Megan used to date Pierce but then slept with Steve and then got back together with Pierce. I, also, guess that Steve is text inept because he sent a message about their love affair to everyone in his phonebook causing a crazy raucous.

Meredith was there to whip them into shape though. Who she hasn’t seemed able to whip is Derek, who’s still moping in the wood. When Bailey sends Callie out to convince him to return to the hospital, she ends up moping along with him. Owen is then sent out as further reinforcements, but we know that boy has problems too. So pull up a chair and grab a beer, this is going to be a whiny night.

The Chief arrives, and I think, ‘Don’t these people have jobs!!’ It’s gets all heated between the friends. Derek even goes so far as to blame the Chief for pushing Meredith away, but the Chief shows his sweet side.

The most surprising statement of the night, however, goes to Meredith. When Derek asked her if she’d still love him if he wasn’t a surgeon, she flatly said no. I can see her point of view. She fell in love with a surgeon, perfoming surgeries.  Most of their time is spent at work on top of it, and all of their friends are doctors. And if you delve even deeper, could she really love a quitter? Derek is a winner. He’s the best! What this spells for our two lovers is still a mystery, but I hope Meredith stands by her words and by her man.

Things aren’t so sweet between Christina and Izzie either. Christina was the obvious choice to confess her secret to seeing as she’s the most unemotional doc in the group. Well, the obvious choice should have been her smoking hot, new boyfriend, but he’ll find out eventually.

Being the responsible friend that she is, Christina sets up all these consultations but Izzie still isn’t sure she wants saving. It’s clear when a patient comes in to get a face replacement, backed by his support group, that she’ll need people around her too. (This patient storyline was sad, compelling and grotesque. I really mean it. But it made you feel for this guy even more, especially when the interns call him Blowhole. So cruel!)

Izzie eventually comes to her senses though when Christina asks her to fight, and when everyone finds out what’s going on, they rally around her. The montage at the end where everyone hops into bed with her made me cry, man! It was beautiful!

The question now is will Derek come to his senses in time to save Izzie because what neurosurgeon can top him?

Season 5, Episode 18: Stand by Me (originally aired March 19, 2009)

For another take on this episode, read With A Little Help From My Friends by Tanya Lane.

For more Grey’s Anatomy reviews, click here.

Thursdays 9/8c on ABC
Photographs courtesy of ABC

Lost: So What Are We Supposed To Do Now?

The problem with Lost, as with many serialized dramas, is that the writers don’t base their episodes around the question, “What’s an appropriate number of things that need to happen to effectively fill our 52 minutes?” Which is what shows like House do and which is why on shows like House we get stuck with subplots in which characters arrange for cats to pee on other characters’ chairs. Instead, on shows like Lost, the writers base their episodes around central ideas. Sometimes those central ideas are amazing, and almost too big to fit into the 52 minutes. Like, “Let’s show all the characters entering the Dharma Initiative in 1974,” or “Let’s show the entire history of how Claire got pregnant, got dumped, consulted a psychic, found out her baby was evil, decided to give it up for adoption, got stuck on the island, and then got kidnapped.” But then sometimes those central ideas aren’t really strong enough to pull a whole episode together. Like when the idea is, “Let’s show the Oceanic Six landing on the island and meeting up with their old friends.” Really, they could’ve wrapped up this week’s entire episode in fifteen minutes. (Although if they had, we’d have seen less Phil.  And I love me some Phil.)

So, yes, after a series of action-packed episodes, this one is on the slower side, offering necessary plot details without as much awesomeness as I’ve come to expect from this season. And I don’t even know who this week’s central character was, unless it was Sawyer again. Yes, they’ve been moving away somewhat from the single-character episode focus this season, but every previous week, except the premiere, has had a character I could pretty easily pinpoint as the protagonist. This week, I’m at a loss.

Apparently there’ll be a bunch of action next week, though, and this was still an enjoyable episode to watch, so I’m not really complaining, here.

The basics:

In the teaser, we see what happened to the Ajira Airways flight.  This poses a problem for me because I don’t want to watch the freaky plane stuff but I do want to write informed reviews. Fortunately, Frank is still a good pilot, and even though the plane flips over and loses power and the screen fades to white, he still manages to land the plane without full-on crashing, Miracle on the Hudson-style (except without the water). His co-pilot gets impaled on a tree branch, though, which is hardcore. Sun didn’t time-warp with the rest of the Oceanic Five, because the one reunion that matters will be the one between Jin and Sun and the writers want to torture us for a while longer on that front, so she and Frank and Ben set off for the main island. Since they’re in 2007 and everyone else is in 1977, though, it all seems rather pointless.

Meanwhile, Jack, Kate, and Hurley are being cared for by Sawyer, and you know what, I’m just going to start calling him LaFleur now. It’s as much his name as “Sawyer” ever was, and he’s basically a different person now than the guy I watched for the first four seasons. LaFleur rounds up the Oceanic Three and smuggles them in among a crew of new Dharma recruits. Jack doesn’t like LaFleur being the leader (and, I suspect, he’s not thrilled that LaFleur and Juliet are living together either). But, while Jack has spent the past three years freaking out and getting drunk, LaFleur has spent three years maturing into a responsible adult who, all signs indicate, is indeed a way better leader than Jack or even Locke ever was.

Also, Sayid got separated from the other three in the jungle, and gets himself mistaken for a Hostile and apprehended by Jin and some crazy scientist type. Oops.

The good:

• As part of their cover, LaFleur outfits Hurley, Kate and Jack in hilarious 70s clothes. Jack’s super-tight polo shirt is particularly awesome.
• When Jin finds out that Sun was on the plane, but that her whereabouts are currently unknown, he takes off across the island in search of her, clearly not giving a crap what happens to the rest of them. I love Jin, and I especially love it when his hitman side comes out, like when he roughs up the crazy scientist this week. Also, we get a beautiful smile from Sayid when he first sees Jin, because every single person on this show loves Jin as much as I do.
• Speaking of whom, Sun knocks Ben out with a paddle at one point, because I guess she’s a ninja too now. I don’t know what it is, but Yunjin Kim is even hotter than usual when she’s attacking people.
• Horace and Amy named their baby Ethan. I totally should’ve seen that coming, but I didn’t. So that was cool.
• There are also lots of nice small moments this week. The look on Jack’s face when he sees Juliet in LaFleur’s house is hysterical. I hate Jack so much that I forget Matthew Fox is a good actor, but he is. We also get to see lots of Juliet fake-smiling (and genuinely smiling), and Elizabeth Mitchell is beautiful when she’s not doing that cynical pouty thing Juliet always did on this show for her first two seasons.
• I’m starting to get really into the Dharma Initiative. I love how they all carry rifles with them everywhere outside the fence and yet pretend to live in this idyllic world when they’re on the inside. I love how they wear uniforms when they’re “working,” and how their jumpsuits come in two different tones, and are available in a skirt and shorts varieties too, like they’re all at Girl Scout camp. I love how they give balloons to the kids who arrive from the sub, and how they have no issue with giving those heavy sedatives to the kids in the first place. I love how they adhere to dictator-strict discipline despite their hippie touchy-feeliness and their tendency to have afros despite being white. Most of all, I love how they all smile so radiantly so much even though they clearly hate everything and everyone around them. Especially with Claire gone, this show has been devoid of radiant smiling for way too long.

• LaFleur, especially, is loving the Dharma life. He isn’t play-acting here, like Juliet is, or just going with it, like Miles and Jin; he’s loving it. And I love him loving it. Seriously, this is the first time I can remember seriously caring about this character over the past five years (aside from having pitied him once or twice after some of Kate’s more cruel rejections)

The bad:

• Apparently Caesar and Co. are not as interesting as I had thought from the Locke episode.  Caesar and Ilana don’t seem to know each other, which doesn’t work with my assumption that they were part of some conspiracy that crashed on the island intentionally. But all the Ajira Airways survivors are very calm for having crash-landed on an island. Compared to the pilot episode’s freaky opening sequence, I assume these guys must all have taken a heavy dose of Xanax before coming on board.
• In an unfortunate contrast to last week’s awesome episode, which managed to work a compelling romantic story in with nonstop action and plot development, this week contains lost of long, lingering, forlorn looks between LaFleur and Kate that are meant to be symbolic of whatever. Which is even harder to watch than it used to be, now that we’ve seen both of these characters in other romances, that happened more recently than theirs did, and that lasted longer, and resulted in shackin’ up in one case and in getting-engaged-while-having-a-child in the other, and which are therefore more significant than Sawyer and Kate having hooked up a couple of times three years ago. Aaauuugh.

The stuff that will matter next week:

• We don’t know yet what Caesar is up to, except that he seems to have some major entitlement issues. Whatever his eventual subplot may be, it better be good to make up for the guy’s overall unlikeability.
• We see Pierre Chang again, both in a video and live in the flesh. It’s still unclear exactly what his role is with the Dharmas and how it relates to Horace’s. I suspect we’ll find out soon though.
• We see the child Ben, visiting Sayid in his holding cell. This is introduced with “Dun Dun DUN!” music even though it’s obviously the same actor who played him in season 3. But I’m sure we’ll see more of him soon, too.
• Jack, Hurley and Kate all get successfully imported into Dharma life. Jack is assigned to “the shed” as a Workman, about which he’s amusingly disgruntled. We don’t know what Kate and Hurley’s jobs are yet.
• Reference is made to Daniel being around and having theories about what they’re allowed to do in this time zone, but we don’t see him, and it’s implied that he’s not part of the Dharma Initiative. I like Daniel, but whatever, I don’t care where he is. I just hope that in the past three years he’s gotten over the death of the woman he was kinda-sorta dating for like 36 hours.

We’re halfway through the season, and now it’s all about putting the pieces in play to build up to a big season finale. I hope we stay in the 70s for at least another few weeks (and I think we will). And then maybe next season we can go back to prehistoric days and find out more about that four-toed statue.

This is so not the show I started watching in 2004 anymore. I like it much, much better, though.

Season 5, Episode 9: Namaste (originally aired March 18, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Mr. Nama, Nama, Nama, Namaste Gonna Work Here Anymore by J.B. Perlow.

For more on Lost, click here.

Wednesdays, 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC

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