Dancing with the Stars: Beauty and the Geek Get the Boot

This week on Dancing with the Stars, two couples would be getting the boot, but first the stars had to dance to one of the show’s most exciting dances: the high-energy Lindy Hop and the highly-seductive Argentine Tango.

David Alan Grier and his partner Kym were the first to perform the challenging Lindy Hop, but it didn’t really have much hop to it – in fact they were often off tempo and even the plentiful tricks seemed awkward. The judges praised David’s commitment but couldn’t help but note that he lost the beat. Total: 22

Lil’ Kim and Derek were up next with the first Argentine Tango of the night and kicked it off right. The dance was steamy – with some hot choreography (that wasn’t to fuddy-duddy Len’s taste, but what is?) – which brought the audience to its feet. At least Bruno and Carrie Ann loved it and Bruno handed them the first 10 of the season. Total: 27

Barbie and Ken (Chuck Wicks and Julianne) were up next with a Lindy Hop where Chuck and Julianne looked ready to serve up some burgers. The dance was crisp and fun, but the judges weren’t blown away. Total: 22

Lawrence Taylor and Edyta tackled a tough Argentine Tango next. And even though Lawrence worried he might no longer be married after the seductive dance, his tango completely lacked heat. Plus, it looked like LT was just walking around for most of it. Total: 19 (with a gruesome 5 from Len)

Ty Murray took the bull by the horns with his heavily-tricked out Lindy Hop with Chelsie Hightower. Even though he nearly killed her in rehearsals, their heart-pounding Hop had the audience applauding and shocked the judges. Len even called him a “great wonder” for his improvement since the first week. Total: 25

Cloris Leachman, I mean Steve Wozniak was up next with an Argentine Tango and if I thought that Lawrence Taylor’s dance was all walking this was ridiculous. Boy was it not good – not good at all. Even Carrie Ann couldn’t find anything nice to say about it, and Bruno memorably said that it stunk like ghettos of Buenos Aires. But Steve responded that he was “still standing”. Hardly. Total: 12

Finally in week 3, Melissa Rycroft impressed me. Her Lindy Hop was full of flips and skips and dips – basically, it rocked. It was so fast and so sharp and so difficult that I had to give in and clap. The judges loved it too – and Carrie Ann, who’s shared my skepticism of trained dancer Melissa – jumped down to high five her and partner Tony. Kudos. Total: 29

The awkward, chemistry-less Tangos continued when Holly Madison and Dmitry hit the floor. But she fell off her stool in the beginning of the number, and it was all downhill from there. The steps were off and very wobbly, and it looked like Dmitry was just dragging Holly around. (And they didn’t have the Bunny do the Lindy Hop? How disappointing!) Total: 16

Jackass Steve-O channeled his inner clown for this week’s Lindy Hop with partner Lacey, and at least it was better than last week. But poor Steve-O still can’t dance. And the judges weren’t too kind. Total: 15

Now if you want to really see an Argentine Tango, YouTube Gilles Marini and Cheryl’s performance this week. It was sexy, sexy, sexy, and I’m pretty sure Gilles was trying to seduce the entire audience with his smoldering stare. Plus, he nailed every little step and kick. It was so perfect that Carrie Ann said she couldn’t tell who was the professional dancer and who was the celebrity, and caused her to congratulate Gilles’ wife with a little “woo-hoo-hoo”. I know the feeling. The judges were all seduced by Gilles and awarded him with the first perfect score of the season. Total: 30!

Shawn Johnson and Mark closed the show with a gymnastic-filled Lindy Hop that had the audience cheering but wasn’t as well-received by the judges. They were hoping for a little less tumbling and a little more dancing – but Shawn has nothing to fear. Mark’s short shorts will be enough to get the audience’s votes. Total: 25

Then it was on to Tuesday’s results show. Gilles and Cheryl kicked it off with their smokin’ Tango. Kevin Rudolph performed his hit “Let it Rock” while Julianne, Chelsie and Lacey danced in some edgy, black outfits that was truly impressive. A boring Viennese Waltz routine was also performed, and then Boyz II Men performed some Motown hits.

Finally they got around to revealing who was going home. In the bottom three were Holly & Dmitry, Steve-O & Lacey, and Steve & Karina. So who was hopping home?

It was curtains for Holly and Steve Wozniak. So long, Beauty and the Geek.

Season 8, Round 3: Episodes 6 and 7 (originally aired March 30 and 31, 2009)

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Competition Mondays at 8/7C, ABC

Elimination Tuesdays at 9/8C, ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC