The Tudors: Yes, Sir, That’s My Baby!

Henry and Cromwell discuss marriage candidates for Lady Mary and the designs for a ship to carry Queen Jane to her coronation–actually it’s a very nice model ship.  He also receives a letter from Cardinal Reginald Pole condemning the king as a heretic.  Cromwell reports that Pole is stirring up trouble in France and encouraging more rebellions.

Aske hears his judgment of guilt for treason, among other things, and is being sent back to York to be hanged.  Charles Brandon is leading the delegation north.  But first he rounds up Aske’s followers who continued to rebel after the king granted mercy.  As his soldiers hang them on makeshift gallows that fill a field, Brandon says the Lord’s Prayer, clearly struggling with the acts the king asks of him.

A priest visits Aske, who is bound in chains in his cell.  He shares his frustrations with Cromwell and that he must beg for Cromwell’s forgiveness to save his family.  Still, he is resigned and accepting of his fate, probably because he considers this to be martyrdom.  And the next day, he is executed as Brandon looks on and hears his confession and asking of forgiveness.  (Nice work with the neck snapping sounds effects, by the way.)

The king receives Sir Bryan the Scumbag and asks him to find out more about Cardinal Pole.  Back at the party, Queen Jane eyes Cromwell accepting bribes to hand over seized church lands.  Her brother explains why it’s all appropriate so long as the king gets his share of the proceeds.  Anyway, we interrupt this lesson in corruption to see Bryan having a quickie in a side room–it’s like the Clinton White House all over again!  As a bonus, Nike gets some free publicity: the woman moans, “Just Do It” as Bryan’s, er, just doing it.

Ambassador Eustache Chapuys, arrives to tell Henry that the Holy Roman Emperor proposes Mary marry the prince of Portugal, Don Luis.  Henry has reservations because Mary is rather unworldly and an “ingenue.”  But Chapuys shares the news to Mary, who is only concerned about Don Luis’s level of attractiveness.  And she’s also refusing to smile since Aske died, or something like that.

Henry meets with his bishops and cardinals over their lack of agreement on certain doctrinal matters.  He commands them to formulate the basic articles of their faith.  But all of this is interrupted because Jane’s baby is kicking and Henry must share in the moment.  Jane’s brother, Edward, is charged with the ceremonial preparations for the birth, but he uses this time with Henry to remind him about the many accusations against Cromwell.

At this point I think we skip a few weeks because Jane is in labor and Henry is sending out heralds.  Mary comforts a laborious Jane and talks about her dead mother, Queen Catherine of Aragon, being present.  This does not bode well for Jane, who has now been in labor for almost a day, and there is concern that neither Jane nor Edward will survive.  At this point I’m going to point out how dangerous childbirth was until the advent of modern medicine.  Let this be a lesson for everyone who’s considering “natural childbirth” outside of a hospital.

In the end, Edward is born alive and celebrated as the future King of England.  That night Mary and Elizabeth sing a duet of “Sisters, Sisters” and talk about how they no longer have any future because there is a male heir to the throne.  Oh and Jane dies.  See, I told you so.

All right, this week was a little more interesting than the last three but I think that’s because I took this episode like all medicine . . . with a gin and tonic.  I suggest you do the same.

Season 3, Episode 4 (originally aired April 26, 2009)

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Photographs courtesy of Showtime, Jonathan Hession