Gossip Girl: Congratulations, Don!

For some reason Serena’s arrest makes it into international news thanks to Gossip Girl, but with graduation looming, Gossip Girl is soon to be a thing of the past.  (The site, not the show, right?)

In pre-ceremony drama, Nate and Vanessa talk about his break up with Blair and how sorry he is for how he handled his break up with Vanessa.  And Jenny is gunning for the new queen of the gals, but there’s competition from someone else; the winner will be the one who brings the two juiciest bits of gossip.  The coronation will be at Nate’s midnight party, but Jenny wants the monarchy to end tonight.

Rufus and Lily haven’t seen each other since their last fight but now they are sitting next to each other at graduation.  Eleanor and Cyrus are behind them and are quickly shut down when they suggest that Rufus and Lily should get married before it is too late.  We know where this is leading.

But during the commencement address, Gossip Girl sends out her own diplomas in the form of labels, declaring Nate the class whore, Dan is the ultimate insider, Chuck is a coward, Blair is a weakling, and Serena is officially irrelevant after today.  Not so fast, though, Serena is bringing Gossip Girl down.  Snaps!

Post-graduation reception.  The gang rallies and debates what to do about Gossip Girl while Rufus and Lily debate where they are as a couple, if anywhere.  Dan pushes Serena away now that high school is over, their parents aren’t together anymore, and they’re going away to school.  (So that’s break-up seven for the season?  I’ve lost count.)

Chuck reveals that the focus of Gossip Girl’s posts are Constance, meaning it must be a fellow senior.  Serena sends a tip to Gossip Girl to see whose phone in the room goes off.  It’s Jonathan!  Why couldn’t they have done this years ago?!?

After the break, we learn that Jonathan isn’t really Gossip Girl but that he and Eric hacked into Gossip Girl over spring break.  So it’s not Jonathan but Jenny grabs a piece of gossip she thinks might defeat the new girl.  She’s unsure if she should use it to abolish the monarchy forever.  I wonder if the Founding Fathers had similar reservations . . .  While we ponder this, Rufus and Lily rock the ganj back in the Brooklyn loft.

At the Archibald party (and final party of the season), Nelly Yuki is getting drunk and almost has a Can’t Hardly Wait moment with Dan.  Jenny tells Blair that Gossip Girl knows about her New Years mystery (she slept with Chuck’s uncle Jack).  Blair dismisses Jenny, which just convinces Jenny to go tell Penelope.  Meanwhile, Blair is slowly undressing for Chuck in a private room, hoping he’ll say he loves her.  But then the phones start ringing: Gossip Girl is pissed that Serena tried to find her identity and so she drops all of her remaining gossip bombs and everyone learns all the dirty secrets we’ve been watching these past two seasons.

Blair and Chuck blame Serena for bringing down the wrath of Gossip Girl and then Blair misdirects her anger (as usual) to someone else: Dan.  She tries to explain to Chuck about Jack but she just wants Chuck to tell her the truth about how he feels about her.  Of course he won’t and he walks out.  Blair goes to Jenny to tell her about what happened with Chuck; this will be enough to make her queen.  But Jenny is unsure.

Serena sends a bluff to Gossip Girl and tells her to meet her in an hour, otherwise she’ll tell everyone who she is.  She and Nate wait but she doesn’t arrive.  Instead Dan walks in and has another awkward conversation with Serena.  In short, Serena is upset about being called irrelevant.  Blair walks in, then Jenny, and then everyone else.  Gossip Girl played a little trick and said that she’s only possible because of all of their gossiping on each other.  She’s shared all of their dirt, the slate is clean, and she’s coming along to college.  Oh how convenient!

The next morning at the van der Woodsen breakfast table, Rufus and Lily share how they got engaged while high the night before.  Eric is giddy about his dream coming true: he’s finally getting to use the new wafflemaker!  (Oh my.)  In Serena’s room, Blair is glad that she can move on with life next year in college.

A few weeks later, Dan and Vanessa reminisce about his high school days when Nate walks in to share that the deputy mayor made a pass at him.  He’s quitting and wants to go on the backpacking trip he originally planned with Vanessa.  As they leave, we meet Scott who works in the coffee shop and just transferred to NYU from BU.  Perhaps he and Dan will see each other around . . . since he’s his half-brother!

In other seed planting excitement for next season,

• Blair coronates Jenny the new queen, a foreigner from Brooklyn!
• Dan receives a mysterious phone call from Georgina. She got his money back from Poppy and she says she’ll be seeing him next year. When she hangs up, she’s at NYU requesting Blair as her freshman year roommate. Ha!
• Carter Baron tells Serena he found her father and they run off to find him.
• And Chuck is back from his tour of Europe finding gifts for Blair. He’s no longer a coward and he loves Blair (and says so to her face).

Well, that’s the end of Season Two of Gossip Girl and I have mixed thoughts.  There were some great episodes but mostly a series of snoozers and uninspiring, repetitive storylines.  Our ending wrapped up all of the storylines, even in a somewhat contrived way and while condensing the excellent Gossip Girl reveal into a minor bit.  With next season placing the characters in different cities, it will be interesting to see whether the show can continue it’s momentum and not collapse under the weight of a bloated cast and rambling storylines.  But until that time, you know you love me.  X-O-X-O.

P.S. Looks like my negative comments about last week’s Gossip Girl tie-in had an impact.  The new Gossip Girl spin-off is no more.

Season 2, Episode 25: The Goodbye Gossip Girl (originally aired May 18, 2009)

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Photographs courtesy of The CW, Giovanni Rufino