Gossip Girl: Lost in the Valley

To commemorate the season finale of Lost, this week’s Gossip Girl borrows a page from their mode of storytelling.  We get a Lily-centric episode with flashbacks to her days in the Valley for glimpses of why she’s been struggling so much with Serena this week and last.  And as an added Lost connection, Cynthia Watros (a/k/a Libby) plays the part of Lily’s mother CeCe in the flashbacks/backdoor pilot for the Gossip Girl spin-off.

We begin the first half of our story in the present.  The gang is still at the precinct station, wondering why Lily had Serena arrested.  Lily arrives to claim her and ignores the scorns from everyone.  Serena is furious and reminds Lily of how lousy of a mother she’s been.  And then Lily’s mother comes in–she was Serena’s one phone call.  And through all of this we’re getting snippets of Lily’s teenage years, again underscoring the Lost storytelling pattern of mind reading through flashbacks.

Back at the apartment, Lily and CeCe bicker over CeCe telling Rufus about the love child.  And Serena is still in jail because she refused help.  Umm, yeah, I don’t think you can voluntarily stay in jail when there are no charges pending against you.  It’s not like a Best Western.  Anyway, Blair thinks it’s silly and she needs to get ready for prom even though her dress was ruined by the dry cleaners.  (Dorota is on the case and put the dress in a body bag.)

Nate and Chuck again discuss whether Chuck is trying to sabotage Nate and Blair.  He’s not, as we’ll eventually learn.  And Lily is done with CeCe’s meddling and wants her out.

Lily goes back to claim Serena from jail but Serena is gone.  Dan picked her up with a Jenny-original dress and they’re off to the prom.  Lily goes to Rufus and wonders what became of her parenting skills, namely how she’s turned into her mother.  She also calls Rufus on his non-proposal, but Rufus wants her to take time to figure herself out and to put away the demons with her mother so she can save her relationship with Serena.

At prom, Blair scorns the suggestion that she and Nate would be nominated for prom king and queen, particularly since these positions are only done in suburban schools and teen comedies set in similar schools.  Blair changes her mind when she learns there’s a tiara at stake.  But Penelope wants to rig the ballots so Nelly Yuki will win.

After some fancy dance moves, Blair and Nate are declared king and queen of prom.  Chuck countered the pro-Nelly Yuki contingent and stuffed the ballot with votes for Blair.  Chuck, playing the part of fairy godmother, also secretly gave her keys to a hotel suite and arranged for her to get the new dress she wanted.  Oh Chuck, will Blair ever know what she wants and will you ever tell her or are we doomed to a Tony/Angela-like tension until the very end?  To speed things along, though, Blair dumps Nate during a final slow dance, accomplishing her dream of going to her high school prom with her high school boyfriend.

Lily returns in time to catch CeCe before she leaves.  They talk of destiny and Lily’s fear of losing her.  She asks her to stay and gives a reluctantly reciprocated hug.  Screw the planned spin-off!  These two need their own show but for now, I’ll settle for their younger counterparts getting a spin-off.

And with that, let’s time warp back to Malibu, California, 1983.  Lily Rhodes is driving down the Pacific Coast Highway and stops to call her record producer father.  He’s brushing her off and she’s hiding the fact that she’s been expelled.

Lily and her father (Richard) meet for lunch.  (And I promise now that I will keep the Mannequin jokes to a minimum.)  Lily’s been having trouble adjusting to her parents’ divorce and move to California.  And then Lily’s mother (CeCe) strolls in and orders a gin and tonic, hold the tonic.  (Atta girl!)  Anyway, Richard gets Lily back into school because he doesn’t have time for her and she doesn’t want to stay with her mother.  So she does what every disobedient teenager does . . . runs away!

Young Lily goes looking for her sister, Carol.  Anyway she rambles on to Owen, who works in a diner and knows Carol, about how she may have to become a prostitute but doesn’t know whether she should emphasize the small talk or the BJs.  My guess is people aren’t hiring prostitutes for their conversation skills, no matter what we learned in Pretty Woman.  Now let’s pause for an 80s fashion montage!  Young Lily is dressing up for something while “Dancing With [Her]self.”

She heads out with Owen to some concert, where she runs into her sister Carol.  Lily learns that Carol’s been living out of her car or something equally lesser than Lily’s accustomed ways.  The other fun part is Carol’s posing as a poor person, which doesn’t suit Lily.  Carol just thinks Lily sounds like their mother.

Carol, Lily, Owen, and that dude from Party Down break into a producer’s place because he owes Carol money or something.  I’m not sure.  The flipping storyline is more confusing than that one episode of Lost where every scene flashed forward, backward, and even sideways.  Hold on, I think my nose is hemorrhaging.  So just listen to the “Safety Dance” and watch someone with a popped collar do some blow, i.e., Keith van der Woodsen, the music video director who ripped off Carol.  Lily’s pissed and wants to get even, but Keith called the cops.  And then a fight breaks out!

So Lily, like her pre-conceived daughter Serena, winds up in jail and must confront an over-judgmental mother.  Sensing trouble, Carol grabs the phone and tells CeCe to cool it.  We end with scene wipes to and from 1983 and 2009 showing the bonds of friendship: Lily and Carol versus Serena and Blair.

Next week: The Gossip Girl Season Finale, wherein someone drops a gossip bomb and our gang graduates.

Season 2, Episode 24: Valley Girls (originally aired May 11, 2009)

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For more on Gossip Girl, click here.

Mondays at 8/7C, The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW, Michael Desmond, Giovanni Rufino

The Tudors: Henry Wants The Pole and the Hole

So great news this week on The Tudors!  I learned that this season is only eight episodes long, which means we only have two more weeks of suffering after tonight.  Have strength, my friends.  Have strength.

We begin with Henry declaring the Poles to all be under suspicion.  Also under suspicion?  That weird growth on his leg, but no time for that as he and Sir Brandon must bond over their shared losses: Henry’s wife Jane and Brandon’s unborn child.  Henry just thinks they’ve lost their youth.  I just think this show has lost its vigor and compelling storylines.

Sir Bryan arrests Lady Salisbury and her household (the Poles) for treason . . . including her grandson!  We are treated to various scenes of the family in prison and confrontation of charges by members of the Privy Council.  The concern is that this family may be plotting to assume the throne should something happen to Henry as they are the last of the Plantagenet line (the White Rose, for those who recall the Wars of the Roses and not the one with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner).

Bryan continues his search for evidence against the Poles and Lady Salisbury.  After Bryan finds the royal banner of the Plantagenets in her house, Lady Salisbury feigns ignorance.  Blah, blah, blah, there’s some complaining about the lack of due process but we all know there’s no such thing when you’ve got an autocrat like Henry in power.  So Lady Salisbury, Pole’s brother, and his young nephew are executed.

Reginald Pole learns of the news and weeps over the loss of his mother and brother.  Cardinal Von Waldburg believes these actions will lead to a Papal bull and the call for holy war against England.  He wants Pole to help lead the battle because, come on, what else does he have to do?

The second storyline this week is Henry’s home version of The Bachelor.  Henry first speaks to the French ambassador about a new bride.  They agree on one candidate, Louise, who is rumored to be a virgin, which is remarkable for the French court.  Apparently this is a good thing because then Henry can have the advantage of “shaping the passage to [his] measure.”  Yikes!  Cromwell and Brandon present other opportunities from the Continent.

Cromwell reports back to Henry about candidates and strongly advises he select Anne of Cleves, of the Duchy of Cleves, part of the League of the Extraordinary Protestants.  Henry, however, heard she’s not terribly attractive or interesting and wants to keep looking.

Henry falls ill after a psychotic rant against Brandon about the need for a royal wedding.  One week later, Edward Seymour wants to see if the king is still alive, and Brandon reluctantly agrees to grant an audience.  The king’s ulcer has grown worse and there is concern that he might die.  Seymour orders full protection and isolation around his nephew (and heir to the throne) Prince Edward.  Brandon, meanwhile, orders Bryan and his guard surround and protect Princess Mary.  But this is all for naught.  The ulcer is lanced (with many spectators), and Henry celebrates his recovery by greeting the public while holding Edward.

At this point I’m going for a run around my house so I can miss the creepy sex scene with Bryan.

Okay, we’re back!

Henry resumes the matters of state and by “state,” I mean his “royal parts,” as he’s looking at sketches of his potential brides.  Cromwell again makes a plea for him to consider Anne of Cleves.

Henry calls the French ambassador again to arrange several of the proposed brides to meet with him, but the ambassador will not agree to that since it sounds more like reviewing show horses.  So the ambassador counteroffers that “maybe Your Majesty would like to mount them one after another and then pick the one you find best broken in.”  Henry throws him out of court for that one . . . probably because the truth hurts.

With the French no longer available, Henry is now interested in one of the two Cleves sisters.  His envoys negotiate the details but only after first getting a glance at the lovely ladies, as well as a portrait.  The portrait is refused.  Uh oh, something tells me she is normally described as having a “great personality.”

Back in the Duchy of Cleves, the Duke presents his sisters for review by Henry’s envoys.  The catch?  They are in burkas or something like that.  It’s a fun joke and should signal a major red flag to Henry.  But we know from history, no one’s laughing when Anne arrives in England.  But we’ll pick up with that in next week’s episode.

Finally, we plant another seed in the fall of Cromwell when the bishop arrives to say that some people are continuing to preach against the king’s six articles of faith.  Specifically, a Mr. Lambert who speaks against the truth of transubstantiation.  The king wants him burned for heresy and then the bishop informs him that Cromwell has been looking the other way while Lambert continues his work.

Cromwell visits Lambert in person and pleads with him to recant.  It is clear they have a common bond over ideas but Cromwell is trying to save his own hide.  And so we have our weekly execution.  This week it is burning, which is a rather cruel and painful way to die.  I’d argue having to watch this season over and over again is a very close second.

Season 3, Episode 6 (originally aired May 10, 2009)

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For more on The Tudors, click here.

Sundays at 9pm on Showtime

Photographs courtesy of Showtime, Jonathan Hession

Star Trek: Generation Y

Robin: The new Star Trek movie, in case you’ve been living under a rock, opened to wide acclaim this weekend. It’s a re-imagining of sorts of the original series’ characters and their first voyage on the Enterprise. J.B., what did you think overall?

J.B.: I thought it was an excellent film that paid tribute to the original series while (hopefully) opening up the Star Trek universe to a new generation of fans. And I think that’s the most complimentary I’ve been of a film in a long, long time.

Robin: So far, every generation of critics, including all my Facebook acquaintances, has indeed seemed to agree with that assessment. So it looks like it succeeded on both of those fronts.

J.B.: Indeed. If only Watchmen had been as good . . .

Robin: Yes, Star Trek was definitely the best geek adaptation that’s opened in a long, long time. (I’m tempted to mock Wolverine here, but I won’t.) That said, personally, I think my expectations were too high for the movie to live up to.

J.B.: I confess I thought about your high expectations on my way home last night. Why did you have them when you’re rather unfamiliar with the series?

Robin: Because everyone in the world, including people with whom I usually agree about movies, had told me it was amazing.

But yes, my general unfamiliarity with the series took a toll on my experience, I think. I’d be curious to hear what someone who went in knowing absolutely nothing about Star Trek thought of it.

J.B.: Are you saying my quick primer beforehand wasn’t helpful? I mean, you got all of the Dr. McCoy jokes.

Robin: No, no, it was immensely helpful. The diagram you drew about Kirk’s glasses from Wrath of Khan totally helped me grasp the complex Trek mythology.

Speaking of which, shall we discuss the time travel element? We can throw up a general SPOILER ALERT at this point.

J.B.: Yes, just to be safe.

So, I went into the film with rather low expectations because I had heard they had changed some things in Kirk’s past that would not reconcile with the original series. BUT thanks to the miracle of the time travel plot device, there are no inconsistencies with the original!

Robin: Thank you Lost!

J.B.: Now, now, let’s not confuse anyone.

Robin: Like me?

J.B.: You and the you in a parallel dimension. The yous, if you will.

Robin: Well, it’s worth noting that the creators behind this movie are also behind this season of Lost, and that the theories of time travel expressed in each are inconsistent, and equally incomprehensible.

To me at least. Although again your diagrams on this subject helped me a lot.

J.B.: I strongly disagree.  I think all of the theories make sense.

Robin: For the benefit of our audience, who is probably on my side in this, please explain.

J.B.: Which part?!?

Robin: The alternate realities part. I think that’s the biggest stretch. And once we’ve got that out of the way we can gush about Zachary Quinto for a while. Or at least I can.

J.B.: If you insist . . . Future Spock and a Romulan ship get sucked into a black hole and come out in a new Star Trek universe, where Kirk’s father is killed in space, Kirk is born in space, Kirk is a quasi-blond, and Spock (Spock 2 that is) and Uhura are hot and heavy.

Robin: Oh, okay, well when you put it that way it totally makes sense.

J.B.: See! And no charts this time.

The confusing part I guess is that Future Spock and Spock Jr. can coexist, and you can kill Spock Jr. but Future Spock will continue to exist. So nothing in the new Star Trek universe will impact the Star Trek universe we already know and love. Two parallel universes.

Robin: Right, which is brilliant when launching a new franchise. J.J. Abrams is a genius.

J.B.: I agree. You can’t tick anyone off and you’re not throwing out the years of history (e.g., Batman Begins and Battlestar Galactica).

Robin: But now no other sci-fi universe can ever do that again.

J.B.: Nor should they.

Robin: Although I’m sure there was more than one comic book series that used the device prior to this.

J.B.: I’ll ask Stan Lee next time we have lunch.

Robin: You mean you didn’t discuss this at Comic Con?

J.B.: No, I was too busy getting overexcited about Watchmen.  Blurgh!

Robin: See, it’s all about expectations.

J.B.: So on another topic, did you ever watch Alias?

Robin: Never, but I saw the ads. And I watched every season of Felicity.

I wonder if Star Trek fans will now start watching Felicity DVDs to acclimate themselves to the Abrams oeuvre?

J.B.: This will mean nothing to you as a non-Alias fan, but I must state it for the record: The big red ball is straight out of Alias and I was hoping for a Rambaldi connection. But once again, it was just a MacGuffin.

And I’ve never seen Felicity, but you know the last movie I walked out of was an Abrams film.

Robin: First of all, it’s “red matter.” The real fans will never respect you if you call it the “red ball.”

Second of all, which Abrams film was that?

J.B.: It’s a red ball! And the movie was Cloverfield. I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.

Robin: Oh, Cloverfield was awesome. I liked it more than this movie actually.

And now the real fans will be coming after me.

J.B.: Please direct all hate mail care of Poptimal.com.

Robin: But back to Zachary Quinto.

J.B. Yes, what about him?

Robin: Has there ever been a better-cast role in the history of cinema?

Again, not having seen that much of Spock before this, but from what I have seen – it’s like Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. It’s eerie.

J.B.: I think the scenes with Quinto and Leonard Nimoy were very good, so yes, it was good casting, but I think all of the casting and portrayals were very good.

Robin: And was the Kirk/Spock chemistry true to the original? Or was it ever so slightly gayer?

J.B.: Is everything slash fiction with you?

Robin: Oh don’t pretend you didn’t see the vibes.

J.B.: Nope.  It’s a close friendship, nothing more. You give me a scene with Spock yelling at Kirk and being mad at him down to his ankle and we’ll talk. Until that day, forget it.

Robin: What’s that a reference to?

J.B.: Okay, you’re dead to me. GoF, hello?!?

Robin: You’re referring to the scene where Harry hated Ron’s bare ankle?

J.B.: Now that was subtext.

Robin: That is sufficiently obscure that I think I can be forgiven for needing context to recognize it.

J.B.: No excuses for you.

Robin: You’re not allowed to out-Potter reference me. You’re the one who forgot who Parvati was.

But we can discuss that further when we review Half-Blood Prince this July.

J.B.: True. And although you’re ready to have Kirk and Spock elope in Iowa (Kirk’s home state, by the way), I’m not there yet even if the concept of slash fiction began with these two.

Robin: Which it did, and of which I’m sure the actors in this film were well aware. Quinto at least knows from fandom.

That said, I thought the romance between Spock and Uhura was a brilliant stroke. Even if Zoe Saldana had excellent chemistry with Chris Pine (Kirk) as well.

J.B.: I’m sure there will be a Kirk-Uhura pairing eventually.

Robin: In the poorly reviewed third installment, after the producers fire Abrams and get Michael Bay to take over the series.

J.B.: Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth!

Robin: Did you slip in that reference in honor of Karl Urban (McCoy)?

J.B.: OF COURSE!

Robin: See, I got that one.

J.B.: Dammit Robin, I’m a writer not a comedian!

Robin: I would respond with a corresponding Trek catchphrase if I knew any.

So instead, how about: That’s a dealbreaker, ladies!

J.B.: A noble honorable mention.

So, was there anything you didn’t like about Star Trek?

Robin: I found it hard to follow. Although to their credit they tried to be very clear.

My main issue was that it was so hard to wrap my brain around the alternate-reality-time-travel that I was getting distracted from the story itself.

J.B.: Yes, I sensed that. I didn’t have trouble following it along but I think that just means I’m a bigger geek than you.

Robin: I’m not exactly a minor-league geek here.

J.B.: True.

Robin: Also, why did Kirk et al. have to take a spaceship to go to Starfleet Academy if it was located in Iowa?

J.B.: Starfleet Academy is in San Francisco.

Robin: So they took a spaceship from Iowa to San Francisco? Why were Uhura and the other cadets in Iowa to begin with then?

J.B.: I don’t know if it was a spaceship because we didn’t see them go into space, but I guess it just flew them from Iowa to San Francisco.

As for the town, I figured it was a staging place for sending new recruits to the Academy.

If you recall, they also built ships there.

Robin: OK, I’ll accept that. If only because the joke about Kirk being a townie was funny.

So, any final thoughts you’d like to share?

J.B.: Yes. Consider the following attempt at a sci-fi syllogism.

Major premise: In Star Trek lore, the odd-numbered films always stink compared to the even-numbered films. It has become a running joke that the odd-films are destined to fail. This new film, as the start of a new series, is an odd-numbered film.

Minor premise: In the film we saw Kirk defeat the Kobayashi Maru scenario, which is a no-win simulation designed to test all cadets and to teach them calm and humility. Kirk, as we also learned in the original series (Wrath of Khan), was the only cadet ever to beat the scenario.

Conclusion:  Because this odd-numbered movie was so awesome, I believe J.J. Abrams is the first director ever to beat the Kobayashi Maru scenario in the Star Trek film franchise simulation!

Robin: Wow, they should let you in free to Comic Con next time for that line alone.

J.B.: I agree!

Robin: And that’s a good note on which to conclude. My verdict: Go see Star Trek. I doubt we’ll see a better sci-fi movie this year.

Would you concur?

J.B.: I do, considering Transformers is really the only remaining competition and I doubt that will be much competition in terms of film quality . . .

Robin: And since Harry Potter doesn’t count as sci-fi.

J.B.: Indeed.

With that, live long and prosper!

Grey’s Anatomy: Trauma Drama

This was the night we’d all waited for. Seasons have gone by as we witnessed Meredith and Derek’s ups and downs. Their relationship has lasted a veterinarian, a nurse, an ex-wife, a drowning and a human bomb. Would they make it and could they ever be happy were always the questions running through our heads, but this season we’ve seen a different relationship. Sure, nothing is perfect, but what in life ever is? What we knew, for sure, was that these two loved each other and no matter what happened, they WANTED a forever with each other. So when a proposal was made in an elevator full of ex-rays and a wedding planner was found in the sick and dying Izzie, we sucked in our breathe and waited to see if the other shoe would fall. And I must happily say that it never did. Did we get “the” wedding we’d been waiting for. No, but we got so much more.

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Things aren’t looking up for our Izzie. Clearly, anytime Denny appears, that can’t mean very good things. Now seeing where Shonda has taken the whole “I see dead people” thing, I’m not so afraid when he shows up, but that’s not the same for our girl. Fear, automatically, sets in when her old flame shows up, and she knows in her heart that the brain tumor Derek removed must be back. Her stress is only exacerbated since she’s gotten the okay from Bailey and all she wants is to see her friend Meredith and Derek walk down the aisle in the dream wedding she’s planned.

Bailey and Derek get her straight to a brain scan, but can’t seem to find anything. She reiterates that it’s not normal that Denny is in the room with her and talking to her even though Bailey can’t see him at all. Finally, Derek gets the genius idea that since her trigger is these Denny hallucinations, that if they can get her to hallucinate once more, they would be able to pick up the brain activity and pinpoint the tumor. (Would this work in real life? I highly doubt it, but luckily, it does in the fake doc world.)

It’s inoperable which makes her friends and Derek really sad because he likes Izzie, saying she’s one of the good ones. And, obviously, send Alex off the deep end since he’s in love with her, now beyond a doubt. I’m also sad too because I know this is Shonda’s way of writing Katherine Heigl off in a beautiful and tragic manner, and there will only be more tears to come for me.

THE WALK DOWN THE AISLE

So when it came to wedding time, all I could wonder is would Meredith and Derek be able to get married without their sick friend who made it all happen. Like Izzie said, this was her dream wedding!

And dream it did turn out to be for her. When Meredith said she couldn’t wear the dress she chose for her, Izzie looked really confused whereas I’m sure most of us knew what was going to happen. This wasn’t going to be Meredith and Derek’s wedding, but it would be Izzie and Alex’s wedding. Just as it should be! Meredith and Derek looked like they were going to puke having a churchy wedding, and it was everything Izzie ever wanted, and all Alex wanted was the girl he loved in sickness and in health.

I cried as she walked down the aisle, especially when she got all weak and her best friend George jumped up to walk her down the aisle. Hell, it’s making me tear up right now so forgive me if there are grammatical errors during this paragraph.

In the end, everyone was happy, even a bald Izzie who shaved her head instead of watching her beautiful, model hair fall out in clumps, and her husband confirmed that she was hot no matter what. That’s what a good husband does!

IN OTHER WINGS

Derek so cutely got Meredith a wedding present. Not only can he not give it to her because he’s dealing with Izzie but Miss Anti-Wedding doesn’t even want it, until the Chief tells her it’s her first solo surgery. (AWWWW!) The Chief, knowing it’s a stressful day for her, can’t let her do it without  supervision and nitpicks along the way. In the end, he admits that though she made choices he might not have made that she did a great job, and her mother would have been proud, even if she wouldn’t have been able to say it to her.

Callie and Arizona have a little spat when Arizona doesn’t understand why Callie’s been so cold to her after their date. When the truth comes out, it’s because Arizona took her to a fancy restaurant and the entire time all she could think about is the money she no longer had from her parents and how much she would have to sacrifice that week (in groceries) just to cover the  meal (a salad!). Then after all that worrying, Arizona tried to cover the bill entirely like a sugarmama only making Callie feel worse. They cutely make up in the end, eating pizza at home in bed and realizing that some things are just more important.

TRAUMA DRAMA!

Owen puts George in charge of the trauma wing when a car full of soon-to-be college graduates comes in all banged up. George loses patient after patient, and it only makes it worse with patients as young and emotional as these ones and so ready to support each other and start their lives. All this loss basically makes George feel like a failure and a killer and it reminds me how much I used to love George and actually miss him.

The trauma mirrors Christina and Owen’s relationship as they struggle to figure out what they are to each other. Owen confesses her ceiling fan above her bed was the trigger to the choking and tries to reach out, but it’s Christina realizing the love lost between two of the trauma patients that gives her the strength to take the fan down and admit to herself she might still need Owen, though she hasn’t said it to him yet.

Season 5, Episode 22: What a Difference a Day Makes (originally aired May 7, 2009)

For more Grey’s Anatomy, click here.

Thursdays 9/8c on ABC
Photographs courtesy of ABC

Dollhouse: Omega

It’s the season finale of Dollhouse, and Joss Whedon finds himself once again sailing headfirst into the bottomless abyss of prematurely cancelled, failed television series. Dollhouse is almost certainly not coming back, which is a shame, because once it really got going, it morphed into really solid, compelling television.

The finale begins on the heels of last week’s cliffhanger, which revealed Firefly alum Alan Tudyk to be the notorious Alpha, the psychotic rogue doll with 48 different personalities who has an unhealthy fixation with Echo. He imprinted Echo with a personality that makes her head-over-heels gaga for him, and the two took off like something out of Natural Born Killers, leaving Dewitt and Langdon and now Ballard in the dust. They’ve acquired new clothes and a hostage (maybe there was a combo sale going on at JC Penny’s). What’s really disturbing-and often amusing-is to see Alpha trying to contend with all of his personalities. You see them competing for each other, and Alpha has to try to hold them all down and stay in control. Tudyk hits all the right notes, coming off as terrifyingly unpredictable.

While those two crazy kids are on the run, we get to enter Flashback Land.  Alpha is torturing some guy but not just for kicks. No, this guy is a client and what he paid for is to get tortured. So Alpha complies, though he’s not alone. Another Active is with him dancing in the shadows. It is Echo? No. It’s Dr. Fred! You know, the pretty doctor lady that Alpha cut up when he broke out of the Dollhouse. Yep, Dr. Fred is a doll, and as it turns out, she wasn’t always a doctor. Nope. She was originally programmed as the top Active, oodles more popular than Echo. But Alpha had such a thing for Echo that, while he also was still a doll, he cut up Dr. Fred (her Active alias was Whiskey) so that Echo could become the top doll.

Obviously, the Dollhouse management is unhappy with Alpha’s choice, and they take him up to Topher. Topher starts running diagnostic tests to try to figure out what caused him to attack Whiskey/Dr. Fred, and then Alpha is to be sent to the Attic. But Alpha goes bananas and starts attacking everyone and, in the process, all 48 Actives that he has been programmed as on different engagements are downloaded into his head. And as a cherry on top, we learn who Alpha was before he became a doll. He was a vicious criminal who liked to abduct and torture women. It seems that the Dollhouse’s initial batch of dolls were all cons facing serious jail time. Great work guys. Take a guy that’s already a psychopath and then mess with his head and give him 48 personalities and a god complex. That’s what I call a recipe for success.

Ballard finds himself reluctantly working with Langdon and Dewitt, as they are all temporarily united by the common goal of finding Echo and rescuing her from Alpha. But what exactly does Alpha want from her? Well, Alpha has regained his awareness and some of his pre-doll memories. He truly sees himself like a God, and he has destroyed all of the electronic file thingies with his various personalities-including his original one. He wants to do the same for Echo. He wants to destroy her original self, Caroline, because he feels that Caroline abandoned her(self) and thus is not worthy of being alive. He imprints Caroline’s personality onto their hostage and then plans to download all of Echo’s past implants into Echo, using this nifty little computer setup he has created in a power station that duplicates the Dollhouse setup. Echo is then supposed to kill the hostage/Caroline, and he will then call her Omega and make her the bride to his Frankenstein. Trippy stuff huh? Except as you can imagine, Echo isn’t a psychopath like Alpha, and she begins to turn the tables on him.

From there we get character revelation after character revelation, and some pretty sensational action. Ballard does in a way end up saving Caroline-at least temporarily-and it looks like he may end up working for the Dollhouse. It may only be so he can track down Alpha, but the implications are endless. He’s now working for what has been his life mission to tear down. There are all kinds of possibilities created at the end of the episode, and I have no doubt that, like with Firefly, if Dollhouse got a second season, it would go to really interesting places. But it ain’t gonna happen folks, because you didn’t watch the show and Fox pulled the plug. I’m a little guilty too, because I wasn’t a bona fide fan in the beginning, but I sure am now and wish it would get a second chance.

Season 1, Episode 12: Omega (originally aired May 8, 2009)

For more on Dollhouse, click here.

Fridays at 9/8C on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

Poptimal.com Spotlighted In Leading Washington, D.C. Area Newspaper

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Washington, DC – May 6, 2009 – Poptimal.com takes another step closer to becoming the preeminent pop culture website in the D.C. Metropolitan Area.  The ten-month-old website focusing on movie and television reviews was spotlighted in the May 6, 2009, edition of The Gazette, a leading Washington area newspaper.

Poptimal.com was profiled as one of two pop culture websites having roots in Silver Spring, MD, a suburb of Washington, D.C.  The article recounted a recent interview with Poptimal.com founder and young entrepreneur, Zuberi Williams, MBA.  Commenting on the website’s recent coverage of the Writer’s Guild of America Awards Ceremony earlier this year, The Gazette praised the growing website’s ability to leverage “connections with production studios and public relations firms . . . to land[] red carpet access and celebrity interviews in New York and Los Angeles” from the D.C. area.

Poptimal.com hopes to continue to make its presence known in the pop culture media arena and is scheduled to cover 2009 Comic Con in San Diego and the 2009 Los Angeles Film Festival this summer.

The website can be found at www.poptimal.com.

To read the entire article by Jason Tomassini, Staff Writer, The Gazette, click here or visit.

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30 Rock: That’s a Dealbreaker, Ladies!

It’s daddy issues galore this week on 30 Rock.

Last week, Jack discovered that the man he’s always thought was his dad was, in fact, not his biological father. But he doesn’t want to seek out the real guy. After all, family, to Jack, means resentment, guilt, anger, and Easter Egg hunts that turn into knife fights. So he doesn’t want more family. Also, he wants something juicy to whisper to Elaine Stritch on her deathbed. But he makes the mistake of discussing this with Liz. Liz doesn’t have a lot of personal life experience, but she’s learned from her Sims family that if a child doesn’t see his father enough, he starts to jump up and down and ultimately pees himself. Jack doesn’t have any friends besides Liz, so after Steve Buscemi, P.I., offers him a list of three guys who could well be his father, Jack’s forced to go along with Liz’s scheme to reenact the premise of Mamma Mia.

Liz invites the three dads to 30 Rock, telling them they’ve won a contest. One is Korean, one is sterile, and one is Alan Alda. Guess which turns out to be Jack’s dad? Predictably, Alan Alda is delightful throughout the episode, and I hope he sticks around for a while, or at least through the season finale. Jack is disappointed in Alan Alda, since Alan is an ultra-liberal agnostic secular humanist professor at Bennington College (where he teaches all those kids who couldn’t get into Middlebury) who hates Tom Delay. But, as Jack learns, having a dad means having a couple drinks, fighting about politics, and taking it personally when he disagrees with you. So Jack comes out to Alan, and Alan’s thrilled, and they hug, and it’s very sweet. And then Alan announces that he needs a kidney. Uh-oh, Jack. I’ve seen where this path leads.  Keep your kidneys!

Meanwhile, in subplot one, Tracy has an illegitimate son of his own – or so he claims. Donald appears, to those characters who are able to guess the ages of African-American men (really just Toofer), to be way too old to be Tracy’s kid – and, therefore, to be scamming Tracy. Now that Tracy has inadvertently informed those vultures in the media of Donald’s existence, Donald is free to hang out around 30 Rock all the time, wrapping up muffin halves and demanding blank checks with which to open a dojo. When Liz finally confronts Tracy with proof that Donald is, in fact, older than Tracy himself, Tracy admits that he’s known the truth all along. But Donald reminds him of  Danny from Grease (Tell me about it, stud), and now Donald’s turning his life around! The $80 he extorted from Kenneth bought a chess set and a crate of condoms for some kids at a community center, and Donald really did open up a Tracy Jordan Institute for Black Karate. More hugs!

Subplot two pits Liz and Jenna against each other in a siblingesque comedienne rivalry. Liz has penned a series of awful-sounding TGS skits starring Jenna that have taken off so much they’re being referenced on Sportscenter, and now Time Out New York is getting ready to name Jenna the funniest woman in New York. Liz insists on joining Jenna for the photo shoot, where she tries to open her mouth a little to look like Lindsay Lohan. Then, to earn herself a spot on the cover, Liz volunteers to pose with a rubber chicken and an assortment of other equally humiliating props. But that’s okay, because Liz got attention! More hugs, but this time Liz is merely hugging herself.

Other things we learned this week:

• Kenneth adores S&M (Super & Magical!) magazines.
• Tracy’s favorite show is NCIS.
• Steve Buscemi likes free ice. Maybe he and Simon Cowell can start lunching together.
• Samuel L. Jackson (Mr. Jackson, if you’re nasty) is 61.
• Dogs and motorcycle sidecars don’t mix.

Lines I resolve to use ASAP:

• As head of this tour, I’m going to deny your request.
• Be Italian, for like one second!
• I’m sorry, did you just snort at our former House Majority Leader?
• I’m so emotional, I want to smash these barrels.
• Can I have a thousand dollars for something I need?
• I will not be spoken to this way! I am a contest winner!

Season 3, Episode 21: Mamma Mia (originally aired May 7, 2009)

For more on 30 Rock, click here.

Thursdays at 9:30/8:30C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal

Lost: Rub-a-dub-dub, Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate in a Sub

In our penultimate episode of Season Five of Lost we spend an hour moving the chess pieces into place for the two-hour finale.  In other words, not much happened and we can keep this short (with links to almost every episode this season).

Dead is Dead.  And this week “dead” is played by Daniel.  Yes, sorry folks, he really died after Ellie shot him and Ellie, unlike Sayid, is a good shot.  Jack and Kate tell Ellie all about their time travelling and how Daniel wanted to try to change the future.  Ellie, likely stricken with grief, goes along with the plan to detonate Jughead, the hydrogen bomb on sabbatical on the Island.

After Kate gets upset when Jack is fine with changing the future so that the two of them never meet, she leaves and heads back to Dharmaville.  Sayid reemerges, kills someone, and gets upset with Kate for saving Ben.  So he’s also on board this crazy exercise.  Richard and Ellie lead Jack and Sayid into underground tunnels and eventually to Jughead, which coincidentally sits underneath Dharmaville.

Meanwhile, Hurley, Jin, and Miles are confronted by Dr. Chang, and thanks to Hurley not knowing who the President was in 1977, Dr. Chang realizes they truly are from the future.  (In Hurley’s defense, though, we all would be better off forgetting Carter was ever President.)  Dr. Chang even has a brief moment of clarity with his adult son, Miles, who warns him to get all of the women and children off of the Island.

We cut to Dr. Chang arguing with his wife and forcing her to get on the submarine, and while we don’t know what he said, we can guess this is why she was so angry with him for the rest of her life.  We also see Sawyer and Juliet being escorted to the submarine; in short, Sawyer succumbed to Radzinsky’s beatings, in exchange for two one-way ticket off the Island (the other is for Juliet).  Of course, Kate is captured and thrown on the submarine for some awkward stares between our new love triangle.  The submarine departs with a good riddance to the Island.

In 2007, Locke reconnects with Richard and establishes himself as the leader of the Others.  But first, Locke escorts Richard and Ben to the Nigerian plane crash where we get to see the scene where Richard helps time traveling Locke.  Very interesting.  What’s even more interesting is the apparent paradox here!  Richard gives Locke a compass in 2007 and tells Locke to give it to him the next time he sees him.  The next time it is 1954: Locke gives Richard the compass, which Richard tells Locke he still has when Locke reappears in 2007.  So here’s the question, my friends: who created the compass?

Ponder that one while Locke returns to the Others at the beach and announces they are going to go meet the infamous Jacob and Richard is going to lead the way.  Why does Locke want to go see Jacob?  Why to kill him of course!

And that’s everything you need to know before the finale.  In addition to the regular Lost commentary on Poptimal.com, we’ll be airing a special Lost-only episode of The J Factor next week.  If you’ve got a question or comment about this season, post it in the comments and we’ll get to it on the show.

Season 5, Episode 15: Follow the Leader (originally aired May 6, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out ‘Cause This is Filler… Filler Night… by Robin Reed.

For more on Lost, click here.

Wednesdays, 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC

Lost: ‘Cause This is Filler… Filler Night…

Next week is the two-hour Lost season finale. Accordingly, this episode was setup for that. It wasn’t particularly bad setup, but it wasn’t all that great, either.

The basics:

• In 2007, Locke, claiming he has a “purpose” now, struts around being smarmy and claiming his authority over the Others. (We aren’t told who’s been leading them in the three years since Locke vacated the island, but my suspicion is that Richard has been doing just fine on his own.) Locke does some time-travel mumbo-jumbo and then announces that he’s taking the entire group of Others to see Jacob, whom Locke is planning to kill. This does not go over well with Richard and Ben.
• In 1977, Jack and Kate team up with Eloise, Richard, and a newly arrived Sayid to carry out Daniel’s plan of blowing up the Swan with the hydrogen bomb. Kate ultimately defects, but the rest of them go to find the bomb, which is sitting in a tunnel directly under the Dharma barracks. Then they stare at it, because actually doing anything with it would throw off the action-packed rhythm Damon and Carlton have planned for the season finale.
• Jin, Miles, and Hurley are trying to go to the beach to get away from the Dharmas and the impending disaster, but Dr. Chang catches them and gets them to admit that they’re from the future and that Miles is his son. (He isn’t as concerned about that last part as he is about the upcoming disaster, though. Poor Miles. And Juliet’s island therapist won’t arrive for another 35 years to help him work through God only knows how many issues will stem from this.) Dr. Chang can’t force the rest of the Dharmas to stop the drilling at the Swan, but he evacuates most of the women and children from the island, including his wife and Lil’ Miles, as well as Lil’ Charlotte.
• Also, Radzinski beats up Sawyer and Juliet to get info from them about Kate’s whereabouts, because for some reason it’s All About Kate now. More importantly, Radzinski is crazier than ever and is also somehow now in charge of the Dharmas, even though Horace is standing right there and Dr. Chang is clearly the more knowledgeable one when it comes to electromagnetic disasters. (You know, I could watch an entire series just about the Dharmas, without a single member of the show’s main cast being involved, and I would still be thoroughly intrigued.) Anyway, Sawyer and Juliet agree to talk in exchange for being evacuated in the sub. Sawyer, taking his last look at the island, calls out “Good riddance!” Then Kate shows up in the sub, too. So the three of them are handcuffed and under water. Is there a worse way to travel than handcuffed in a submarine? I’m going to have nightmares just thinking about that.

The good:

• It was a mercifully flashback-free episode. As much as I enjoyed learning more about Daniel and Miles etc., I’ve always thought the flashback structure dramatically slows down the action on this show, when it’s not in itself an obvious substitute for any actual action. I can only think of, like, four really good flashbacks in the show’s entire history. (For the record: Raised by Another, Ji Yeon, The Man Behind the Curtain, and Numbers.)
• The scene between Hurley and Dr. Chang was one of the highlights of the episode, if not the season. Who would’ve imagined that that pairing would be comedy gold? Dr. Chang’s conclusion that these guys are indeed from the future stems from his quizzing of Hurley on such topics as his year of birth and the name of the current president. (And the latter was also funny, since Hurley predicted several episodes back that they would be asked this very question. Hurley can see the future too! Although, his failure to learn the president’s name after several days of living in the 70s could be seen as evidence that Hurley is, indeed, really very dumb. That, or the Dharmas are so closed-off from the real world that they never talk about such mundane topics as who the current American president is. I prefer the latter theory, because I don’t like it when they play Hurley as the dumb fat guy, and because the Dharmas really do seem that closed-off. It’s like Sawyer said, they think they’re the police.)
• When Kate tries to walk away from Eloise and the other Others, Eloise threatens her, yelling, “We’re not in the habit of telling our secrets to strangers and then just letting them saunter off!” (Eloise talks so funny, I love it) and Kate, exasperated, says, “I don’t care about your secrets, I just want to leave!” I liked Kate there more than I have in a long, long time, maybe ever. I like that she’s so indifferent to all the destiny crap. Despite the time-traveling, she just genuinely doesn’t care about any “magical” properties the island may have. I like that she’s so pragmatic, and I suspect a lot of it is due to her having a kid now. She knows what really matters in life, and she hasn’t given up on it. She’s the polar opposite of Locke, and now Jack, and there’s something very appealing about that.

The bad:

• It’s sort of a Richard episode, except not really. Parts of it are told from his point of view, and Ben informs us that Richard is “a kind of advisor,” which I’m interpreting to mean “consigliere,” but we don’t see anything about Richard’s past. I know his whole story will be revealed eventually, and it will be good when it happens, but I don’t like being teased like this.
• Daniel really is dead! For now anyway. Wah. Well, let’s just hold out hope that whatever climactic time-travel happens in the season finale resurrects at least some of our recent deaths. Actually, it would be kind of neat if all the dead characters from all five seasons showed up. Oh, and hey, since it’s a time-travel alternate-reality anyway, they could all play the characters the actors have played since leaving the show! Maggie Grace can show up pretending to be even younger than she did on Lost, and Dominic Monaghan can flutter his eyelids and play with lightbulbs, and Michelle Rodriguez can wrap a bandana around her face and cry in her jail cell.
• Some of the acting seemed a little off this week. The performance by the 30-something version of Eloise (Alice Evans) seemed consistently flat, and Elizabeth Mitchell was so obviously fake-crying during the fake-beating of Sawyer, and even the usually stellar François Chau (Dr. Chang) had a few bad notes. (You know who rocked, though, even though he only had like one line? Patrick Fischler as Phil. I really, really hope Phil gets an expanded role next season. In my fantasy series about the Dharma Initiative, he can be the protagonist.)
• When Kate shows up on the sub at the end of the episode, Sawyer and Juliet seriously look like they’re about to burst into tears. Guys, look, if your relationship can’t survive Kate’s very presence, then just accept that you aren’t right for each other and move on. I realize eHarmony hasn’t been invented yet but surely when you get back to the mainland you can go, like, flirt with people in discos or whatever.
• Sun is still hanging out with the 2007 Others. Locke is stringing her along promising her he’ll reunite her with Jin, while actually sparing no time for anything but his own random smarmy agenda. I don’t like it when people are mean to Sun.

The stuff that will matter next week:

• Uh… not that much, this time. I’m still confused about the principles of time travel on this show and how they’re changing, but I’m assuming it will all come together eventually.

Season 5, Episode 15: Follow the Leader (originally aired May 6, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Rub-a-dub-dub, Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate in a Sub by J.B. Perlow.

For more on Lost, click here.

Wednesdays, 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC

American Idol: It’s A Boy’s Club

How did the producers get Slash to be a mentor?  Guns N’ Roses’ Slash. Yes, I’ve been impressed by many mentors past and present season, but somehow this one, especially a crazy axeman like him, totally blows my mind. And he soooo looks the same as he did 20 years ago, though that might not say much since all I see is a mound of black hair.

It’s time to riff and rock and roll!

So, it looks like there was an accident during rehearsal where our lovely contestants were almost smashed by one of those insanely huge American Idol logos. Seacrest says it like we’re meant to focus on all that our contestants had to go through and adjust, but there was a crew member who was rushed to the hospital. I want to know what happened to that dude! He probably lost a finger and the only thing people around him care about is if we’ll still be able to hear Bon Jovi karaoke this weekend. So not right. But since the show will NOT be deterred, let’s get on with it.

Adam sang Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love,” and I’m a little excited that a Led Zeppelin song is being performed on American Idol. Then after thinking about it, I’m really, really sad for Zeppelin. Finally, my brain checks in, and  I comprehend it will be Adam singing the song and my eyes start to roll in the back of my head. I know it’s right up Adam’s alley with all its riffs and whatnot, but I really don’t care to hear anymore riffs from this boy. Riffs be gone! I was about 10% closer to liking Adam a few weeks ago, but just as quickly as I acknowledged his talent, I realized I just don’t like him as an artist. Most people will call me crazy, but he’s no Stevie Wonder. Who doesn’t love Stevie?

Slash suggests he not go to crazy on the high wails, thank god, but you can’t keep Adam in a corner. The judges love it from top to bottom, even causing Simon to make a funny when he says that his performance was understated. But even he can’t help but toot this kids horn. OOOOOYYYYEEE. That’s my wail of anguish that my girl Alison will be the booted rocker this week. I already know this from the minute the judges shower Adam with praise. Damn them!

Allison sings “Cry Baby” by Janis Joplin and with her sweet growl and sultry teeney bopper voice, it’s the perfect song. Slash says she needs to show no fear, and I agree, but in my opinion, she doesn’t accomplish this. Not only did I notice a lack of confidence in her performance, but I was bored. There was no energy in her voice or her performance. For a girl I’ve heard KILL a song, it’s almost like she wants to go home and decides to put only 50% in tonight. It’s the top four man, this is where you need to really show your stuff, and after hearing the judges praise Adam and then somehow liking his performance more than hers, I KNOW she’ll be leaving this week. Randy didn’t hear a melody. Me either. Kara thinks she’s nervous. Me too. Paula talks about casting her in a Joplin biopic though I’m sure this has been done before, and she looks nothing like the legend, so um next. Simon thinks it’s time to beg, and although I don’t condone pandering, I’ve just gotta say, me too! She even says that her first choice was too safe, “Somebody to Love” by Jefferson Airplane. I think this clearly would have been a better choice because at least you can’t sing like a robot since it’s a more upbeat song.

Since it’s that time in the show where we have to fill up space since there’s only four contestants and still one hour, it’s DUET WEEK!

Kris and Danny sing “Renegade” by Styx. It starts off well, but doesn’t quite get to that soaring, big vocal performance when they reach the climax. I’m always weary of duets in a competition because I think you don’t want to tread on the other person you sing with or sound poor in a mesh situation so you hold back a lot more. All the judges like it, but Simon thinks Danny was better than Kris. Oweeey!

Kris sings the Beatles’ “Come Together” and he got to play one of Slash’s guitars which is pretty awesome. The more reserved of the contestants gets a reprimand from Slash to really push the envelope when it comes to performance. And this is rock week, cutie pie! He clearly doesn’t rock it out like the prior two who are made for this genre, but Randy and Kara appreciate that he chose something that suited his personality and was a softer rock style. Paula like it but missed the energy, and Simon uses his British-ism to confuse us all, but basically says he was boring and bland. I can’t say I really disagree with any of them. I like him, and I always will but this just isn’t his style of music, and I appreciate the effort that he puts into making songs his own. But you could tell, even with his guitar, he was out of his element.

Danny jams to one of my favorite early Aerosmith songs, “Dream On.” Slash wants to know if he can hit that high, end wail. If he can’t then he shouldn’t choose it at all. And I wish he hadn’t. Danny’s too good to go home, so I’m not worried, but one bad performance can sway the audiences’ millions of votes away from you when it comes down to the finale and pre-finale weeks. Anything that brings Adam one step closer to winning makes me mad. The song is awkward and there’s too much riffing for someone who’s not a rocker. Randy says A+ for effort meaning he screamed the hell out of it but it didn’t sound good. Kara talks some gibberish of how he should have chosen an early Aerosmith song like “Cryin’” or “Crazy.” Since I know I was alive when those songs came out, I think she’s smoking some of the “good” stuff. Paula doesn’t think it was the right song choice, and Simon equates his last note to a horror movie. Ooooof! I kind of have to agree there, but like me, he believes he’s still safe.

So basically, Simon’s comments have relegated Kris and Allison to the bottom, though on performance I would say Danny butchered it more than Kris did.
Allison and Adam close out the show with Foghat’s “Slow Ride.” Once again, I’m not a fan. And I think it’s because Adam is involved and Allison is all sad and mopey tonight. Of course since Adam IS involved and his farts smell like roses to the judges, they rant and rave about it which makes me think that Allison may have a chance. But the only thing that will really make me happy would be Adam tripping on his throat and being put out of the competition (temporarily but long enough so he can’t compete…I’m not EVIL guys!). But since there’s probably only one insane rehearsal accident for the season, I won’t hold my breath.

THE RESULTS

I didn’t realize there would be so many people performing tonight. Oh and 64 million votes were cast. That’s the highest and craziest number ever! Paula performed for the first time on Idol. (Not counting the awkward dancing she made the contestants do a few weeks ago.) Then they brought back Chris Daughtry who is the most successful rock Idol who never won! No Doubt is old, but I still love them, and Slash performed with his mentees rocking out the axe like only he can.

Regardless, I’ve never been an Idol fan just to listen to all the peeps who capitalize on the free advertising they get for being filler on a reality show so I won’t comment on their performances.

What I want to know is who’s in and who’s out, and especially, am I right on this weeks prediction? I need to go back and tally how close I’ve been this season because I think I’ve done pretty well.

In the end, it’s down to Allison and Danny which isn’t really a surprise, as both had one of their worst nights ever. And like I’m a freaking psychic, Allison is the one to go home. American Idol has officially turned into one big bachelor party. Kris’s wife should start getting weary.

So what do you think? A long time ago my fiancé believed it was going to be an all boys show, and I swore Allison would make it to the top three. Sure my tune changed, but I hate it when he beats me. (Especially at Guitar Hero…but now I’m just complaining.) After Adam’s fall into the bottom last week, do you think he still has it in the bag? Or might Kris and Danny have a few more tricks up their sleeves?

Season 8, Episodes 34 & 35: Top 4: Performances & Top 4: Results (originally aired May 5 and 7, 2009)

For more on American Idol, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Fox Broadcasting Company.

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