The Amazing Race: Pissing the race away

HAHAHAHAHA!

I’m sorry, I know I’m supposed to be writing this review/recap of this episode of The Amazing Race, aka, the episode with the Biggest Screw Up By a Team Member EVER, but I can’t because I’m still laughing.

To be clear, I’m not laughing at Cara and Jaime nearly ruining their shot at a final three finish by wasting 3 hours walking up and down a street in Beijing harassing strangers only to find out that the place they were looking for had been in front of their faces 3 hours ago.  After all, all three teams who chose the Opera detour had the same problem.  Nor am I laughing at Jaime and Cara’s imitation of Western opera in order to communicate to a cab driver that they needed to go to a Chinese Opera House. . .only to be dropped off at the wrong place.  (Seriously, girls?  Seriously?)

I’m not laughing at Margie finally getting tired of hanging out with her son (Hi, Margie!  Nice to see you arrive where the rest of us have been for, like, 6 episodes) or at Luke’s sexist-yet-logical defense of his poor makeup application skills (“I’m not a girl!”).  I’m not laughing at both Victor’s and Jen’s separate requests for ketchup at the eat-a-starfish-and-a-larvae detour or my new discovery that both Americans and Chinese enjoy a good fried chicken dish.

I wish I could laugh at Victor’s complete inability to not be in control during this competition.  The detour task required this team to take orders at a Chinese restaurant in Chinese and repeat the orders to the cook.  Victor told Tammy that she could go ahead and repeat the orders without his assistance.  He then proceeded to talk over her, totally not letting her do the task by herself as she had asked.

And, no, I am not laughing at Jen, who, after surviving the delay caused by her breakdown at the swimming task, and then surviving Tammy and Victor’s U-turn, and then surviving the swallowing down of fried grasshoppers, could not survive another 2 minutes without visiting a porta potty.  While I hands down believe that this bathroom break is by far the most boneheaded move in Amazing Race history, I’m still not laughing at it.

No, ladies and gentleman, I’m laughing at this statement by Kisha about Jen made at the end of the race after they realized they’d been eliminated: “She’s been a strong competitor though this.”

HAHAHA!

C’mon Kisha.  Jen has treated every clue in this race as though it said “Proceed to your local dentist’s office and get a root canal” or “Proceed to the nearest movie theater and sit through Wolverine.”  She has never given a single hint that she views this race as anything other than painful.  I actually suspect that she threw the race deliberately with that bathroom break, as the disappointment on her face at the begging of the episode when Phil told Kisha and Jen that they were not eliminated spoke volumes. Jen’s heart simply was not in this race, and I don’t think it’s been in this race for a looooooong time.

But thanks for the laugh.  My husband said he hadn’t seen anyone laugh that hard since he saw you laugh at that deaf kid!

Season 14, Episode 11: He Made Me Look Like Alice Cooper (originally aired May 3, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out When you gotta go… by Paul Secrest.

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS, Robert Voets