Rescue Me: Disease

The boys all have a close call in the beginning of the episode, nearly getting roasted by massive flames. But from there, it’s back to life as usual which, for these guys, means trouble. Feinberg actually comes to Tommy’s defense for once telling him not to worry about having been caught with his pants down last week (literally) by Needles because Feinberg has something on Needles when the time comes. Feinberg of course has no affinity for Tommy; he’s only banding with him because Needles busted Feinberg for the same kind of thing, letting Sheila charm him into letting Damian ride along on a call and nearly getting himself killed. Lou marvels in disbelief: “I can’t believe you’ve got Feinberg in your corner. That’s like the Jets and the Sharks joining forces and becoming one giant gay, dancing, singing street gang.” Well said.

Lou also figures out that Tommy is sleeping with both Sheila and Janet but with no strings attached, calling Tommy a fool for believing such arrangements could ever actually work. Tommy turns it around on Lou and says that Lou is in no position to talk since he’s potentially getting back with Candy, the hooker from hell who ruined his life (note: I do not like her).  So a friendly – or should I say spiteful – wager is made betting that Tommy’s arrangement will fall to pieces before Lou gives in to Candy. The stakes? Not money, but something far more high-risk: whoever loses has to clean the apartment.

Meanwhile, the guys now all know about Garrity and go to visit him in the hospital. They stand by his side for a few moments looking perplexed until they all become distracted by a hot nurse. Mike wins this particular challenge by producing real tears and prompting the nurse to come over and take him away. As they leave, Mike turns and grins from ear to ear. “I’ve taught him too much, and now he must be destroyed,” Franco says. Yeah, you know Franco isn’t going to take losing a woman to Mike too well. Then again, Franco is supposed to be involved with the boxer he met last week, but we don’t see her. Actually, except for this one scene, we don’t see Franco either.

Garrity of course doesn’t mind that all of his friends get distracted by the nurse because, while he is in post-operation, he’s still a vegetable. And not only does he know that he’s still a vegetable, but he sings and tap dances about how lovely it is to be a vegetable, showing up even Fred Astaire, in the most amazing musical sequence I have ever seen. I hate musicals in every way; I wish we could disinvent them. I wish I had the power to set everyone who gushes about Rent and Wicked on fire from head to toe, but the Rescue Me musical, I can’t help but love. It’s just so ridiculously insane and offbeat. Hell, I think Garrity should keep doing them even after he comes back to reality.

Tommy’s big challenge this week involves his daughter Katy, who is coming home for a family dinner and she wants Colleen and Black Shawn to be there. Now not only does Tommy have to fake a happy relationship with Janet, he has to get Shawn to agree to go to the dinner and to fake a happy relationship with Colleen. This challenge is compounded by the fact that Tommy recently beat down Shawn with a hose. Regardless, Tommy presents his proposition and plea to Shawn, while Shawn quickly realizes that Tommy wants him to come over but to act, dress, and talk white.

Shawn says he will try to be like Sidney Poitier in Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner? but Tommy can’t help laughing saying that Shawn being Sidney Poitier is a bit of a reach. He almost blows it, but Shawn agrees to come because he wants to get back with Colleen. You can imagine that the dinner then involves quite a bit of hidden hostility and under-the-table kicking and cursing.

Tommy continues to drink and remains happy with that choice, having no problem defending himself to Katy or Mickey. He even puts Mickey in his place by telling him that Mickey thinks everyone is an alcoholic and tries to railroad them into AA because he’s jealous other people can drink and he can’t. Tommy says he is grateful, though, to Mickey and to AA because they taught him a valuable lesson: “Sobriety sucks!” I must say I’m with Tommy on this one. There are several instances of typical Rescue Me hilarity, and the show continues to move flawlessly along.

Season 5, Episode 12: Disease (originally aired June 23, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Manning Up, Eli Manning-style by Jaimie Campos.

For more on Rescue Me, click here.

Tuesdays at 10pm on FX

Photographs courtesy of FX and IMDbPro