Rescue Me: Manning Up, Eli Manning-style

This week, in case you were starting to think that this show was just about Sex, we open with a slow motion escape from a fire by our heroes and the musical stylings of Duffy. These boys aren’t just about sex and cancer – they’re also FDNY!

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming. The crew visits Garrity, shocked by his comatose state. Meanwhile, Garrity continues to dream in musical numbers, complete with tap routine and girls dressed as vegetables. Supposedly this is because the only channel the hospital gets is a marathon of musicals. Later, we learn the television has a DVD player…so I’m not sure why his mom hasn’t put in a copy of Under Siege (are there really Steven Seagal fans out there?), but then we wouldn’t hear what a wonderful voice Steve Pasquale has. I do hope that’s him singing, because he’s actually very, very good.

For the sake of not beating a dead horse, I will not recap how the crew undresses a nurse with their eyes. Although at times like this, I have to believe that Rescue Me imagines its whole audience is male, and they have no problem with that.

Which is pretty funny, considering that a trailer for Harry Potter plays during the commercials. I can’t help but wonder if that was a mistake, or if the late night, mature FX audience fan base includes 12-year-old boys. Or maybe I’m just not giving the Rescue Me audience credit. Sorry, guys!

Lou and Tommy make a bet that Tommy’s sex-triangle will implode before Lou caves in to Candy. Though Tommy’s no-strings attached policies start to fray, Lou calls Candy and in a five minute conversation, he gives in to her. She’s moving in, and though he’s not ready to jump back into bed with her, he’s not completely turned off to a little intimacy. So Tommy wins!

In other news, Feinberg reassures Tommy that he has nothing to worry about regarding last week’s little, ah, faux pas of the Janet variety. Feinberg has something on Needles, which I imagine will be good for a few laughs, so Needles won’t have anything to hold over Tommy.

And now for a very special dinner party with the Gavin family! Katy wants to come home, and for some reason, wants a family dinner with the “reconciled” Janet and Tommy, and Colleen and Black Shawn. Janet forces Tommy to bring a best-behavior Black Shawn, which means an apology for the hosing incident. Not as funny as you think, even with Shawn showing up at the Gavins’ looking like “the lost, retarded Huxtable kid.” Janet convinces a whore-ish Colleen to come and play nice, and it’s amazing the control that Katy has over the family. I’m missing something, because my family would have kicked me out if I had tried something like this.

Everyone covers well enough, with Katy buying into the propaganda. Later, Janet denies Tommy sex because Katy’s home. Watch as this relationship slowly deteriorates back into a real marriage. Even more later, Tommy tries to sneak out, and ends up in a late night conversation with Katy. She’s ecstatic that he’s not drinking anymore, tells him that he turns into another person who inspires fear when he drinks, and questions if he’s an alcoholic. He fumbles through an explanation which she recognizes as denial. He finally leaves, promising that bad stuff won’t happen because of alcohol, and Mommy and Daddy will stay together forever.

His daughter’s frankness seems to be one of the few things that gets through to Tommy. At the same time, it’s a little sad how much an alcoholic will lie to his own child.

Tommy rushes to a booty call with Sheila, but they run out of time. They do manage to fit in a conversation where a befuddled Tommy, rattled by his conversation with Katy, asks Sheila if he’s an alcoholic. She goes on about how a functioning alcoholic is better than a full-blown alcoholic, so he’s not allowed to quit drinking. I absolutely believe that there are crazy people like Sheila out there.

In between all of this, Tommy finds time to visit Mickey, who lectures him about how “drunken tears” and home movies won’t solve Tommy’s problems. Tommy lashes out at Mickey, arguing back that “sobriety sucks” and he’s happier than he’s been in the past year. They both have nice little speeches, but it’s the same thing we’ve been hearing from them both, better explained last week when Tommy rants against an entire AA meeting. Nevertheless, Mickey hands over the DVD. Tommy runs into a problem finding a place to watch it, and finally settles on the player in the hospital in Garrity’s room.

He settles in with a bottle of whiskey, only to be interrupted by Mama Garrity. She and Tommy exchange a few nice words, and without Sean conscious enough to notice, she grieves for her sick boy. She leads Tommy in an Our Father, and he stares up at the home movie as he prays. Potentially, this might be a life-altering moment, or at least have a minor impact on Tommy’s life, but I think we’ve been waiting on that for a while.

Next week: Anger! Grrr!

Season 5, Episode 12: Disease (originally aired June 23, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Cameron Cubbison’s review here.

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For more on Rescue Me, click here.

Tuesdays at 10pm on FX

Photographs courtesy of FX and IMDbPro