The Fashion Show: Mean Girls

Welcome back to the most loathsome hour of television!  Last week on The Fashion Show, all of the designers (save Reco) insulted women everywhere.  This week, maybe they will murder cats and dogs.

As everyone gets ready in the morning, Merlin talks about how Daniella is unstoppable.  “No one can estop that girl!” he says.

For the Harper’s Bazaar Mini Challenge, the designers have to help some girl running for student body president at her high school.  Her name is Guiliana.   Since she needs to appeal to as many students as possible, each of the designers is assigned a “clique” at the high school, and the designer must create a campaign tee shirt for that clique.  The winner will have immunity.

• Haven gets skater.  She does a hideously ugly shirt with a clever saying, “Get on board.”

• Big Bertha gets jock.  Big Bertha and jock are two words that make me shudder.

• Merlin gets Mean Girls.  He does crazy extravagant something on it.

• Lidia gets nerd.  She does a red, white, and blue shirt with equations.

• Angel gets B-Girl.  She doesn’t know what that is because she is from Indiana.  Look, I am about as cool as you can get, and I didn’t know what this was, so I had to look it up.  It is something about hip hop and breakdancing.  Whatever.

• Reco gets the drama club.  His tee shirt says “To vote or not to vote,” which is kind of clever.

• Daniella gets the tree huggers.  It’s a bunch of leaves in a tree with Guiliana’s name as the trunk of the tree.

• Anna gets goth.  She does a pretty bad ass ripped black tee with zippers.

• James-Paul gets prep.  It’s pink and dull.

The devil, a.k.a Daniella, wins, so she is immune.  Lovely.

The elimination challenge is that they will design a look for a 20-something based on the clique that they were previously assigned . . . and the fashion show is tomorrow!  Everyone shudders.  I yawn.  How many episodes of this show are left?

Everyone goes and buys his or her fabric and returns to the workroom.  Merlin is talking about how he didn’t see Mean Girls because he only made it through fifteen minutes of it.

Big Bertha says the following, “For Angel to not know what a B-girl is is kind of retarded.”  I summon the ghosts of hell to track him down, grab him by his man teets, and drag them back to hell with them.

Daniella doesn’t know how an environmentalist dresses, “except for dirty clothes and dirty hair.”   Again, a repulsive person.  How about this?  Or this?  Or even this?

The designers wake up at 4 a.m. to head back to work.  Angel says that she doesn’t want to get up because she only went to sleep two hours before.  Oh, girl.  Been there, done that.  Sympathize.

Isaac and Kelly come through for their walk through.  First stop?  Merlin, who begins to explain that he is having struggles with inspiration, so he is using an L.A. Girl as the inspiration.  In cut away interviews, Merlin is having a break down.  He is crying and saying that he’s doing his best, but he is very discouraged.

Other highlights:  Isaac and Reco talking about creating an empire waist.  Big Bertha looking like Fred Flintstone and saying he is “over it.”  Haven making a turtleneck to give off the idea of a hoodie.  Kelly making faces when Angel says she did not know what a B-girl is.  (*sigh*)

Is this episode over yet?

Among the peeps arriving for the fashion show are Fern Mallis, Charlotte Ronson, and some other people I never heard of.  And Big Bertha telling them to send his lard ass home.  Let’s get this over with . . .

Anna (Goth) – It’s a very smart high-waisted grey pant, interestingly structured black jacket with a violet top underneath.  When the model takes off the jacket, we see that the back of the top is shredded.  It isn’t really hard core goth, but it’s quite good looking.  The styling of the model helps it look more goth than the outfit.

Reco (Drama) – It’s a fluffy negligee with a plaid vest over the top.  It is ugly.

James-Paul (Preppie) – Ok, so we have a very yellow long sleeve top with a black one underneath.  She is wearing khaki jodhpurs with thigh high boots.  The model’s belt criss crosses her chest.  I don’t know . . . this isn’t preppie to me.  It’s ok, but it’s just . . . well, moving on.

Merlin (Mean Girls) – He gives us a raspberry colored cardigan with a sheer black top underneath with a pink collar.  Black pants finish it.  It sounds hideous, but it looks great!  Totally mean girls, too.

Haven (Skater) – Well, well, well . . . Haven has done a great job here because I can totally see skater here without it screaming SKATER at you.  The black top has a wide turtleneck, but it’s also cropped.  The sleeves are short and bulky.  The bottoms are like high end, fashionable black cargo shorts.  Pretty awesome.

Lidia (Nerds) – Lidia gives us a blue jumper with red accents over a white shirt.  The model has on nerd glasses with it.  I’m registering very little here, but then again, I usually have trouble staying awake for this show.

Big Bertha (Jock) – BB sends a piece of crap down the runway.  It is a four blocked tank top in white and grey, black fringed leggings to the knee, and bulky black shorts over it.  Gag.

Daniella (Tree hugger) – Sweet Jesus!  Her model has on a crazy twirly hood with red things hanging off.  Where did that come from?  Underneath are some really drab clothes, but all of the fabrics are organic.

Angel (B-girl) – Oh, no.  Poor Angel.  The pants are tight and black.  The shirt is long sleeved and black with a puffy aqua vest over it.  It’s just . . . wrong. She’s used lots of lame accessories, too:  a cap, magenta sunglasses, and that scarf you see all over the subway.  This one.

Let’s get the judging out of the way.  Isaac tells them that he thinks most of them really hit their marks, but Fern says some of them got it wrong.  The two best of the night were Haven and Merlin.  Reco and Daniella fume.  Merlin has on a purple full body leotard in purple and orange.  He also has on a huge scarf and a bandana.  He looks a mess.  The judges tell him that he found his inner mean girl with this design.  Kelly tells Haven what the audience thought of her outfit, and Haven laughs like an idiot.  Everyone likes the little black and white checkerboard tag on the waistband of Haven’s shorts.  The winner is . . . Merlin!  He says he wishes he had a Polaroid for the look on Reco and Daniella’s faces.  Ha!  He is completely right.

The bottom two looks of this week were Big Bertha and Angel.  That one was easy because both were dreadful.  Even more dreadful: the comments from the judges.  Kelly tells Angel that she was personally OFFENDED at how badly she captured B-girl.  Really?  Offended?!?  Big Bertha blabs about giving up.  Whatever.  All of it.  WHATEVER.  To add insult to injury, they eliminate Angel because the judges believe that Big Bertha has more talent.  Groan.  I am checking out.

As Isaac always says: Buh-bye, darling.

Season 1, Episode 6: Mean Girls (originally aired June 11, 2009)

For more on The Fashion Show, click here.

Thursdays at 10/9c on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal, Virginia Sherwood