Entourage: Is that the best they can do?

Is it me or did that episode fall about as flat as Keira Knightly’s cleavage? I mean really, tell me that wasn’t the writers giving it all they’ve got, because this season is taking up precious space on my DVR and unless Mark Wahlberg and his entourage up their game I may just have to start playing television survivor and voting shows off the island. Sigh. Here’s the rundown, in case you missed it:

Vince’s epic, glossy, Hollywood-sized premiere of The Great Gatsby finally arrives, and in an ironic twist, all of the guys are left scrambling for dates except Turtle. Remember what I said last week about the world coming to an end? Yeah, that still applies. So Vince decides to bring a recent one night stand girl as his date (doesn’t that defeat the whole idea of one night stands? Just saying…), never mind the fact that she looks like she could be a center for the WNBA or captain of the East German Olympic volleyball team. Speaking of sports, E also gets acquainted with his new stalker, I mean neighbor, Ashley, who looks like she used to be a Russian gymnast or a figure skater (witness the snap barrettes she’s wearing – see, I told you). E decides he’d rather take Sloan than his wee neighbor as his date to the premiere, only to find out that Sloan whips out the “F” word upon hearing his invitation – that’s right, she wants to go as ‘friends’ *shudders*. Drama wrangles some random retail girl as his date (the cut off shirt must’ve won her over) and Turtle finally comes out…as Jamie Lynn’s boyfriend. He also spends half the episode contemplating how ugly guys land hot girls – they must be really funny – and pretty much drags poor Seth Rogen down as the perfect example of this phenomenon. I mean, Seth’s chubby but I wouldn’t say he’s Eric Stoltz in “Mask.”  Cut the guy some slack, Turtle.

At the premiere, E tells Sloan he misses her and doesn’t want to be just friends, to which Sloan responds that they probably shouldn’t even be talking then.  Oh, and then she puts E’s dignity and self-respect in her purse and walks away. Ouch. E also gets ambushed by Oksana Baiul (his neighbor Ashley) who probably stalked half of LA to score tickets to the premiere just so she could come across as that desperate. Desperate or not it didn’t matter, as a freshly jilted by Sloan E decides to drive off into the night for a pint-sized booty call from Ashley after the premiere. And speaking of booty calls…

Ari finds out that Andrew has been dipping his pen in the company ink by bedding a twenty-something agent named Lizzy. This doesn’t sit well with Ari, who had just urged Mrs. Ari to spend some time with Andrew’s wife  and make her feel welcome, only to find out the two had become insta-BFF’s. Ari tells Andrew to end it, pronto, or else he’ll mess up the life that Ari has worked hard to create for him at the agency. It remains to be seen if he’ll listen but my money’s on ‘No’. Meanwhile, Lloyd is on a crash diet in an attempt to lose weight per Ari’s ‘100 Days of Hell’ mandate, and busies himself eating only grapes like he’s an Olsen twin. That’s what Ari calls punishment? I love Lloyd but Ari better throw a lot more than that at him if he really wants Lloyd to earn his agency stripes, plus this plot line could use some spicing up.

Considering this episode was supposed to be such a big deal, with Vince’s premiere causing a huge spectacle and re-introducing him to Hollywood, it was pretty lackluster if you ask this girl. Why go through the trouble of hiring hundreds of extras and shutting down Hollywood Boulevard to shoot if you’re not going to write a killer script to go with it? Plus, am I the only one who’s curious enough to wish we saw some actual “footage” from this larger than life film that resurrects Vince’s career? And poor Perrey Reeves, she finally gets more than her usual 2 lines of dialogue and it’s in an episode that kind of sucked. Maybe the Lloyd story line will bring the comedy that this show currently lacks. Or maybe Drama’s character will be shown a little more love (at least they’re still giving him the best one-liners in the show, thank God). Either way, they can’t ride the wave of Sloan’s good looks to hold this show up much longer; the natives are getting restless.

Entourage: Season 6, Episode 2: Amongst Friends (originally aired July 19, 2009)

For more on this episode, read Step It Up! by Tanya Lane here.

For more Entourage, click here.

Sundays at 10pm ET/PT on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO.