Entourage: Turtle Coming Out of His Shell?

Ok, I guess I can say that the season has officially begun now that a semi-decent episode has aired. I was beginning to have my doubts about one of my favorite shows. The latest episode of Entourage finds Vince’s boys ready to emerge from his shadow and stand on their own feet.

It’s Turtle’s birthday, but he has a case of the blues. He’s turning 30 but doesn’t feel independent. Turtle is the least self-sufficient of the gang. Eric has always been instrumental in Vince’s career as his manager, and Drama, for better or worse, is an actor in his own right. Turtle, however, has always been a lovable loser of sorts. The writers briefly allowed him a flirtation with the music business when he managed rapper Saigon a couple of seasons ago. That storyline was cut short, and Turtle’s biggest responsibility was once again acting as Vince’s chauffeur. Now that Turtle has a girlfriend, I think the writers want to continue to fill his character out – and Turtle is finally “getting his grown man on.” You’ll recall that he attended the Gatsby premiere with Jamie Lynn last week, and the two shared a sweet embrace on the red carpet, with the paparazzi snapping away. When a photo appears in People magazine with the incredulous caption, “She’s dating HIM?” Turtle says enough is enough. He’s tired of people carrying him, and his birthday gifts from Vince and Jamie Lynn do nothing to lessen his feelings of inadequacy. They give him a Ferrari and a Porsche, respectively. Dope cars, and nice gifts, but Turtle is tired of being pitied. He approaches Ari about starting his own business, and as always Ari dispenses tough love. Turtle isn’t ready for the big leagues just yet, but he’s been inspired to make changes and decides to enroll in business school. I think it’s cool that he’s not content to sponge off Vince or Jamie Lynn. Ari asks why Turtle wants to rock the boat when Vince has been taking care of all his needs and he’s been living on Easy Street. I’m thinking, because he’s a grown man! A grown man called Turtle, but a grown man nonetheless.

Meanwhile, Eric’s client Charlie is flopping big time with his TV pilot. It’s unfortunate, considering that he’s his only client. When the studio execs want to replace Charlie, Eric maintains his loyalty and sticks with him. He could have retained producing credit for the show, but opted to take the loss with Charlie instead. E is a stand-up guy and I expected nothing less. His anorexic stalker and neighbor is still hanging around, but Eric is warming to her. I still think she’s annoying, but maybe she’ll grow on me.

I liked this episode because it had the cool stuff you expect from Hollywood Vince (racing Ferraris around with the fellas), but it also advanced a storyline that displays character evolution and growth. Go Turtle!

For another take on this episode, read Wake Me Up When It’s Over by Renata Sellitti.

Season 6, Episode 3: One Car, Two Car, Red Car, Blue Car (first aired July 26, 2009)

For more Entourage, click here.

Sundays at 10pm ET/PT on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO.

Entourage: Wake Me When It’s Over

“Zzzzz….Zzzzzz…..” Oh I’m sorry, did you say something? I must’ve dozed off… probably because the latest episode of Entourage was a monumental bore – again. It pains me to say this because I am first and foremost a fan of this show, but damn they’re making it hard to keep watching it. Here’s the lowdown on the latest action, or should I saw inaction…

Turtle is the luckiest man alive, clearly, because he not only has managed to hold down his hottie girlfriend Jamie-Lynn Sigler (much to the confusion of celebrity tabloids and Hollywood alike – and even his own mother), but he also got, not one, but TWO Ferrari’s for his birthday this year. The first was from his boy Vinnie, who thought little of dropping a quarter mil on his sneaker-obsessed buddy (Turtle is the new Imelda Marcos, in case you hadn’t heard) and gifting him a sweet new ride. I know he’s a fictitious character, but can I please be friends with Vinnie Chase? I have slightly less expensive taste than Turtle, think less ‘vehicle’ and more ‘Prada,’ and my birthday is in March. The second set of wheels was a surprise from his girl Jamie, who seemed unfazed by her repeat gift, and later helped Turtle decide on grad school to help with his future business endeavors…but I’m getting ahead of myself.

First, convinced that he didn’t have a career of his own to launch, Turtle later hit up Ari for some business advice to which Ari tells him he’ll have to pay his dues and get his act together if he wants to make it on his own. Ari uses his trusty assistant Lloyd’s ability to recite script information verbatim and on command to demonstrate his point about diligence. I said it before and I’ll say it again – Ari, is that the best you can do? That plot line is begging for some action already. Begging.

Meanwhile, E can’t seem to get rid of neighbor girl Ashley after she spends the night, breaks his coffee press (super manly, by the way E), and gives her unsolicited opinion of E’s new pilot episode. It seems Mousy McNopants doesn’t like the main character Charlie and the studio tends to agree with her – Charlie’s focus group numbers tanked so they dropped him from his own show. Then Ashley (who has apparently decided to squat in E’s house) and Ari convince E to lay the pint-sized smack down on the studio people to fight for Charlie, never mind the fact that they all agree that Charlie can’t act his way out of a paper bag. E does so with a vengeance, and he even plays the race card, upon Ari’s (half-serious) suggestion. It backfired and not only did they not appreciate E’s mini tirade, but Charlie still got his walking papers. I think I speak for many of us when I say, “Who cares? Bow Wow wasn’t really bringing anything to the table, anyway.” Oh, and then E decided to keep Ashley in the picture despite her annoying quotient being off the charts…at least until he lays eyes on Sloan again, that is.

Sadly, that was pretty much the gist of things – no drama story line, no Andrew, no Sloan, precious little Lloyd, and almost no discernible humor. Oh, but there was a cameo from 50 Cent, which ultimately meant… nothing. Not even Vince had a real story line this time; he just took his boys to the racetrack to test drive some smokin’ hot Ferrari’s for his upcoming film. They went ‘round and ‘round, they cut each other off…basically it was one big commercial – the product placement was shameless. Aside from the hot cars though, the boys aren’t really engaging in any crazy behavior these days, which begs the question – fast cars are nice, but where have all the fast women gone? I mean I’m a female and even I long for the days of smut and debauchery from earlier seasons. That’s why we watch this show, isn’t it? With sentimental crap like Ari giving career advice to the boys while spending quality time with his son, and Vince lamenting all of his friends growing up and moving on, I half expect the sappy ‘moral’ music of shows like Full House and 7th Heaven to start playing at the end. All I know is, last time I checked Entourage was on HBO, not ABC Family.

For another take on this episode, read Turtle Coming Out of His Shell? by Tanya Lane.

Season 6, Episode 3: One Car, Two Car, Red Car, Blue Car (first aired July 26, 2009)

For more Entourage, click here.

Sundays at 10pm ET/PT on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO.

Twitter? You’re Nuts!! Off To Comic-Con

As most of our readers know, we recently held a contest during our trip out to Comic-Con.  Essentially, our readers had to follow me on Twitter and reply to the tweets that I sent while interviewing celebrities, in sneak peaks of new movies, and on the convention exhibit room floor to be entered to win swag from the mega convention.

As co-host of our podcast show The Jone Dome, I posted  my thoughts, some pictures, and inside information from this year’s Comic-Con.  Out of respect to my co-host Double Edge, I am calling this experience Twitter? You’re Nuts!! Off To Comic-Con, a play on the name of one of our show’s  live broadcast contest.  (If you don’t get it, say it three times fast.  Five times if you are a member of the Cambridge Police force because we hear you “act stupidly.”)

There were 62 Tweets in total, with pictures and the rest.  We present them from the newest to the earliest.

Enjoy!

1. @skesser Poptimal.com is excited about the #Smallville panel this morning.12:41 PM Jul 26th from web in reply to skesser
2. @LynnKB24 We are set for Smallville, Supernatural, Dr. Who, and Torchwood.12:27 PM Jul 26th from web in reply to LynnKB24
3. One of the best Chuck Quotes last year: “Why are you letting Sam Kinison and an Indian lesbian ruin your wedding?”11:31 AM Jul 26th from we
4. http://twitpic.com/bongl – Joel Madden on red carpet.4:39 AM Jul 26th from TwitPic
5. Ference thought this was a great end to a great CC. Joel rocked the house & he danced with Miss Aug. 2008.4:10 AM Jul 26th from txt
6. http://twitpic.com/bog3c – IMG00096-20090726-0221.jpg2:51 AM Jul 26th from TwitPic
7. http://twitpic.com/bo3e3 – Miss August and friends12:42 AM Jul 26th from TwitPic
8. Brea Grant and Eric Doyle from Heroes are in the house.12:25 AM Jul 26th from txt
9. Running late to the Sexy Heroes After party.11:32 PM Jul 25th from txt
10. Headed back to the hotel to change for tonight’s Sexy Heroes party w/ True Blood at Voyeur10:18 PM Jul 25th from txt
11. Human Target might be an okay show. Actor Mark Valley (Fringe, Days of Our Lives) joked he won’t do a shower scene b/c that is how soap …8:50 PM Jul 25th from txt
12. Watching an advanced screening of Human Target tv show from WB7:50 PM Jul 25th from txt
13. Ference: I want to know who decided to send the Suicide Girls who are not the hot ones.7:47 PM Jul 25th from txt
14. More intimate interviews with the cast coming soon on Poptimal.com5:27 PM Jul 25th from web
15. Here is the video of the Chuck intro from JeffSter, People were on their feet: http://bit.ly/ntYmF5:26 PM Jul 25th from web
16. Ference: Got a lot of good stuff from the Chuck Press room interviews. They are one of the coolest casts we have met.4:49 PM Jul 25th from web
17. http://twitpic.com/bltcu -3:54 PM Jul 25th from TwitPic
18. Chuck: Zack teases Ryan Reynolds for getting all the Jobs – Green Lantern and Deadpool1:51 PM Jul 25th from web
19. Chuck: Adam Baldwin says that he wants to be another action figure. Zack teases him about Firefly.1:50 PM Jul 25th from web
20. Chuck: Zachary Levi admits that Josh Schwartz (creator) is his favorite person on the show. They are best friends in real life.1:47 PM Jul 25th from web

    

21. Chuck: Creator Josh Schwartz suggests that Chuck may come back sooner than was initially announced.1:39 PM Jul 25th from web
22. Chuck: Captain Awesome (Ryan McPartlin will join the spy world this season.1:37 PM Jul 25th from web
23. Zachary Levi spills that his character Chuck’s new powers don’t last. There is glitch in the new intersect.1:36 PM Jul 25th from web
24. Adam Baldwin said that his inner channel for his grunts is Joss Whedon1:31 PM Jul 25th from web
25. Chuck panel crowd chanting JeffSter1:25 PM Jul 25th from web
26. Chuck Panel started with a great performance by JeffSter. It was amazing. Everyone was rocking, standing on tables and chairs on stage.1:25 PM Jul 25th from web
27. http://twitpic.com/bl0pe – Dollhouse press interview room12:54 PM Jul 25th from TwitPic
28. http://twitpic.com/bkwge Last night’s syfy panel. Hottest actors in scifi12:23 PM Jul 25th from TwitterBerry
29. http://twitpic.com/bjqpd – IMG00041-20090725-0114.jpg3:01 AM Jul 25th from TwitPic
30. Hanging out with Esther and Trantastic. About to see if California knows how to party.11:58 PM Jul 24th from TwitterBerry
31. http://twitpic.com/bizc5 – IMG00040-20090724-2133.jpg10:46 PM Jul 24th from TwitPic
32. We predict that V will be a hit in the fall. Check out the trailer.10:04 PM Jul 24th from TwitterBerry
33. Remembers when Rebecca Romijn was hot. Pre-Stamos.10:00 PM Jul 24th from txt
34. Ference can’t wait for The Vampire Diaries to start so he can have plenty of material for the show. It looks whack.9:55 PM Jul 24th from txt
35. Attending the tv guide hotlist panel9:26 PM Jul 24th from txt
36. Joss Whedon just busted on Heroes. He said Dollhouse will be fine so long as it does not send its characters to feudal Japan.8:55 PM Jul 24th from txt
37. Eureka renewed for 4th season7:28 PM Jul 24th from txt
38. Yes know it’s Joss but phone keeps self correcting7:02 PM Jul 24th from TwitterBerry
39. http://twitpic.com/bhxyx – IMG00028-20090724-1824.jpg6:36 PM Jul 24th from TwitPic
40. Thanx for questions. Many got asked. Big Bang Theory is in 5 min. If u want something asked, let me know.5:06 PM Jul 24th from txt
41. ference is sitting next to BuddyTV, I09 and IMDB at the press junket.4:21 PM Jul 24th from web
42. If you have questions for the cast of Caprica, now is the time to ask.3:57 PM Jul 24th from web
43. Ference is about to interview the cast of Caprica. Can he keep his cool?3:55 PM Jul 24th from web
44. Ference remarks that he has not seen this many “redundancies” (hot & Asian) dressed up in costume since his bachelor party. jk Alana D.1:23 PM Jul 24th from txt
45. http://twitpic.com/bgn0f – IMG00005-20090724-1250.jpg1:20 PM Jul 24th from TwitPic
46. Oh yeah, and Tyrese from Transformers.11:50 AM Jul 24th from TwitterBerry
47. Got some good interviews set up for today including Caprica/BSG, Eureka, The Big Bang Theory.11:49 AM Jul 24th from TwitterBerry
48. New blog post: Does Trick R Treat Smell Like Feet, Or Give Us Something Good To Eat http://bit.ly/9cGe41:26 AM Jul 24th from Twitter Tools
49. The panel is calling Anna Paquin to wish her happy birthday. Got voicemail but entire audience sang happy bday1:12 AM Jul 24th from TwitterBerry
50. Watching the world premiere for The Hills Run Red. Only at comic con.1:07 AM Jul 24th from TwitterBerry
51. Ference: at a panel for Trick ‘r Treat moderated by Harry Knowles.12:46 AM Jul 24th from TwitterBerry
52. The new Green Lantern cartoon was just okay. Everyone here has high hopes for Ryan Reynolds in the movie. Can he play 2 super heroes.12:39 AM Jul 24th from TwitterBerry
53. Watching a sneak premiere of the Green Lantern animated movie. I did not recite the GL oath with the rest of audience.11:24 PM Jul 23rd from TwitterBerry
54. Ference almost hit a dude from NY in the mouth. He was trying to rap, in S. Diego . . . at a comic book conv . . . wearing Naruto hair.10:39 PM Jul 23rd from web
55. reports that Alice, Managing Editor of TV Content, hates the long lines espec. when they snake outside the con. center & then back inside.10:10 PM Jul 23rd from web
56. Ference “Thinking Green” At Comic-Con on the Bridge of the Enterprise!! http://twitgoo.com/1m4ae9:16 PM Jul 23rd from Picnik

    

57. Tim Burton was emphatic at Comic-Con that Helena B. Carter is not his wife!!8:58 PM Jul 23rd from web
58. Ference: got so caught up I missed the Tron and Tim Burton stuff. Hope the other writers are kicking ass. There is just too much stuff.8:55 PM Jul 23rd from web
59. Ference has seen so much this day. Interacting with Gene Simmons was the best. Got Lots of pictures; will send shortly.8:40 PM Jul 23rd from web
60. Ference: just got punked by Comic-teer boarding plane in dc. Made smart ass comment b/c I took the last Wired mag w/ B. Pitt on cover.10:13 AM Jul 23rd from TwitterBerry
61. By popular demand, Ference from Jone Dome Podcast will be tweeting most of time. Let the jokes, sarcasm, and hating begin. Ference, ur up!10:05 AM Jul 23rd from TwitterBerry
62. About to start our Comic-Con tweet-tacular. Remember, reply to 2 tweets 4 chance 2 win.

True Blood: You know that I could use somebody li. . .

Sunday’s True Blood picked right back up where it left us last week, but brought us a definite change of pace. The theme of the night was making connections-connections between people, vampires, telepaths, beast monster witches or however Maryann declares herself on official forms.

The episode started with Daphne revealing to Bill her shape shifting abilities. “You’re not alone anymore” she coos seductively. For the rest of the episode these two continue to feed the flames of their budding romance, while I contemplate how cute their kids will be. A family of shifters-mind blowing! Though that scar on Daphne’s back worries me. (What reason would Maryann have for attacking her?) Boy I hope she doesn’t die. But this is True Blood. Every minor/supporting character is fair game.

In Dallas, Sookie and Bill find themselves in dangerous new territory, where the bad-assedness of the Dallas vamps (sound’s like a 70s basketball team, no?) continues to comes up. Barry, the antisocial bellboy, makes it very clear that he wants nothing to do with the ever persistent Sookie. She, of course, doesn’t take no for an answer. Her enthusiasm is understandable given this is her first encounter with another telepath. Barry, however, is far less eager to share stories or learn to control his powers, given his employment at a hotel for vampires who might just kill him if made aware of his gift. In the end, he quits his job and disappears into the ether. Poor Sookie has such bad luck making/keeping friends.

Back at the Light of Day Institute Jason begins boot camp as part of his training to become a Soldier of the Sun. (Boy do these Jesus freaks know how to hammer in a message. We get it already. The dichotomy of light and dark, good and bad, blah blah blah.) Once again he shows that valiant boy-scout streak by helping out his nemesis Luke when he’s given up on himself. His reward? A little below the belt action from the ever neglected Sarah Newlin. The sexual tension between the two of them bubbles over when she walks in on him in the tub and offers her assistance as well a lesson in God’s love.

After Tara’s first good birthday, she finds herself in yet another predicament. Maryann, Eggs and that butler guy need a place to stay and can of course think of no better place than Sookie’s.  Tara does the right thing and puts her foot down, before Maryann uses her voodoo power to have everyone at the bar turn on her. When she gets back home after a hard night at work, Tara finds Maryann (dressed like Sookie’s grandma-subtle and creepy) once again playing the understanding motherly role. There’s no way she can kick them out now.

Before Sookie can fret about the loss of her would-be bosom buddy, Bill tries to scramble up a game plan with Godric’s squabbling top peeps. While they bicker amongst themselves, we learn through a potent flashback that the missing sheriff  was Eric’s maker. As a great Norse warrior on the brink of death, Godrick, some sort of wild Lord of the Flies adolescent, decides to save Eric and take him as a companion through time. In the end it is decided that Sookie will infiltrate the LDI and try to figure out what, if anything, they had to do with his disappearance using her mind reading powers,.

This weeks episode layered the foundation for loads of drama to come. There are so many unanswered questions and new bonds forged or reinforced. The scenes between Bill and Sookie were especially touching this week as we got a more multi-dimensional glimpse into their unique relationship. Spending the night in a vamp motel was the first time she woke up without finding Bill gone. It’s easy to forget how important the simple things are in a relationship, and how many of them are nearly impossible in an intra-species relationship. On the coupling front we had more from Hoigh and Jessice as well as Terry and Arlene. Plus Lafeyette (more somber than usual) was back! So is Bill’s maker (dun, dun, dunnn!).

Season 2, Episode 5: Never Let Me Go (originally aired July 19, 2009)

For another take on this episode, read Shapeshifter Sex by Inisia Lewis.

For more on True Blood, click here.

Sundays at 9pm on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO, IMDbPro, and Jaimie Trueblood

Moon: Classic Sci Fi

You need to like one of two things in order to enjoy Moon: Science fiction, or Sam Rockwell. If you like them both, why are you reading this review? Get out there!

Moon feels like an old school, science fiction short story, simplistic in nature, with a plot that develops without a need for an amazing, climactic twist. A story that holds your interest simply because it is interesting. Sam Bell is an astronaut finishing up his three year tour on the moon when he begins to hallucinate and his health declines. If you want to see it, that’s all you need to know – anything else takes away from the slow unfolding of a fascinating little story as we discover the why’s of his “illness,” and wonder if he’ll still make it home.

This isn’t a film of deep, endless layers – it doesn’t water anything down for the general audience, yet it isn’t so existential as to alienate viewers. Though science fiction, it is, at its heart, a story of identity. The greatest  science fiction stories contain universal themes that happen to take place in a sci-fi world, but which a large mass of people can relate to – hence, the enormous popularity of Star Wars and Star Trek. Although, I’ll be the first to admit that JJ Abrams pushes action over substance in his Star Trek reboot, but that’s a review for another time. (Go ahead! Ask me!) In Moon, the filmmakers strike that balance between common experience and unfamiliar surroundings, using the genre-defining environment of space to highlight the sense of isolation. Which in turn, encourages the solo journey we all take during our own personal identity crises.

And don’t let Fandango’s description of the movie as a “thriller” put you off. It isn’t. I’m not sure who wrote their summary (giving away three quarters of the plot) – we’re talking science fiction here, and that’s it.

As for Rockwell, there’s something about him that makes him incredibly interesting to watch. I could go on for a while about how great he is in general, underrated and under-noticed. I could throw out words like nuance and depth and layers. I don’t really understand it myself, because Rockwell has an ordinary face. Which I mean in the nicest possible way, but if you look at him, you don’t think “movie star.” Then you watch him, and there it is. It. In Moon, the demands of the role and the fact that he carries the movie, alone for 99% of the time, force us to take notice of a more subtle talent, the kind missing from Hollywood, and the kind that elevates the smaller films he’s a part of. (Although with the hair, the beard, and the long johns, I defy all Sunny fans not to think of Charlie Day.) A little more Sam Rockwell in our movies, and I think we’d all walk away a little happier.

And so, here we are, with a little science fiction film up against the sci-fi blockbusters of the summer. It’s no action packed Transformers or Generation Y’s Star Trek, but it is a distinctive, quiet, story. Slow things down this summer and try something a little different.

The Proposal: So It Turns Out Ryan Reynolds is Not That Great an Actor

I volunteered to review The Proposal while still basking in the afterglow of Wolverine. Ryan Reynolds,  I’d decided, could do no wrong. If he was in a movie, the movie was worth seeing.

This was, I should note, before I looked him up and remembered Adventureland.  Or Van Wilder. Or Just Friends. To be honest, I hadn’t really realized Ryan Reynolds had had a film career prior to May 2009. Nor that there was a reason I had never paid attention to him before: because Ryan Reynolds movies, as a general rule, suck.

The plot of The Proposal is standard rom-com fare: A high-powered New York career woman, this time played by Sandara Bullock, finds out she’s about to be deported to her home nation of Canada, so she blackmails/bribes her assistant (the aforementioned Mr. Reynolds) into marrying her. Seconds later, the INS is already on her case, and the new “couple” has no choice but to head to his hometown in Alaska and lie to his entire family, including his 90-year-old grandmother (played by Betty White!),  and participate in a sham wedding. Hey, these things happen. Admit it, you personally know at least four couples who got together that way.

Formula movies like this can be fun, if they’re done well. The Proposal gets it about halfway there. But it’s in desperate need of a stronger male lead. Two Weeks Notice worked because Hugh Grant  was of an equal caliber to Sandra Bullock, talent-wise. Miss Congeniality worked because the romance was secondary to the main plot, which consisted of Sandra Bullock being awesome and funny in a variety of fabulous outfits (and because Benjamin Bratt is a capable actor who could keep up with her).

But The Proposal has many, many flaws. It’s about 20 minutes longer than it needs to be, for one thing. For another, there’s no evident chemistry between the leads until we’re more than a third of the way into the movie. For the first half hour, these characters give every appearance of genuinely disliking each other. Not in that “They spar, but only because they haven’t realized yet that they’ve been in love all along” romantic comedy trope. No, these two people have been barely tolerating each other, for professional reasons only, for the entire three years that they’re supposed to have worked together. When the movie’s plot contrivances arrange for them to share an awkward kiss, we finally witness the first teeny tiny sparks between them. And apparently, that’s all the foundation needed to set up 108 minutes of mildly-funny not-at-all-romantic romantic comedy. In fact, at one point the Reynolds’ character’s pretty, sweet high school girlfriend shows up, and they were so cute together that for a second I forgot what genre of movie I was watching and I thought, “Oh, maybe he’ll wind up with her.”

Bless her heart, though, Sandra Bullock takes this not-good-enough-for-her movie and works it. Or, at least, she tries to. She digs down deep into this two-dimensional-at-best character and pulls out every shred of complexity she can muster. Which almost, sadly, works to the movie’s disadvantage, because when you put her up there next to Ryan Reynolds it makes it that much more obvious that he’s just standing there reading his lines and endeavoring to build up his leading-man cred.

And by the way, yes, Sandra Bullock is 12 years older than Ryan Reynolds. Fortunately, the movie, which happens to have been directed by a woman,  doesn’t really play that aspect up much. You can’t help but notice it, and it’s clear that the characters are well aware of it too, but it’s accepted, much as it would’ve been if the genders had been reversed. And there aren’t any old lady jokes (in fact, the only age joke is made by Betty White, who is of course the one person who can get away with it).

The movie feels like a hodgepodge of various ideas that probably sounded great when they were pitching it to the studio execs but that don’t necessarily blend all that well. There are random speedboat chases and scenes in which eagles attempt to eat small dogs. Oscar Nuñez is around a lot, and is funny, but not quite as funny as he’s trying to be. The movie’s also got more nudity than you expect from your average PG-13 romantic comedy, and I kind of wonder if that was in there due to the 44-year-old Ms. Bullock’s wanting to show off her still-rockin bod. (Because, yowza.)

And finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that it’s 2009 and it’s harder now than it used to be to accept romantic comedies about people abusing the legal benefits of marriage that happen to be available to them because they happen to be straight. (Because, yeah, entertainment industry, I’m not sure how much longer you can keep getting away with these plot devices before you encounter some sizeable backlash. I mean, thanks for Prop 8 the Musical,  it was funny. But that doesn’t mean you’ve done your part. If you’re going to keep making movies like this, at least throw us a bone and explicitly reference the absurdity of our country’s random and cruel decisions regarding the legal recognition of marriage, OK?)

Whoops, sorry, some bitterness leaked out there. But regardless, I can’t think of any particular reason to recommend The Proposal, unless you’re a hardcore Sandra Bullock fan, in which case you’re probably already seen it by now. Or if you’re dying to see the New Moon trailer (which I totally was), you can head to YouTube for that. If you’re just mildly curious, don’t worry, The Proposal will be rerunning constantly on TNT in a few years, so just be patient.

I’ll definitely be lining up to see Deadpool, though. Who’s with me?

So You Think You Can Dance: In Which Robin Gives Up

I wondered at first if Fox would pre-empt SYTYCD for the President’s live news conference. But duh, I should’ve known better. Cat Deeley has another gorgeous gold dress on, and she’s even taller than Barack Obama. Of course we’re going with SYTYCD.

I idly wonder how many weeks are left in this season. I know they won’t tell me. And there’s no point in going to Fox.com/Dance, aka the most information-free website in the world. Oh well, I’ll just live with the suspense.

Intro dances. I actually kind of like Kayla’s, but I agree with Nigel that she needs to stop relying on her hair so much. Evan wears the kind of glasses that you wear when you’re intentionally trying to look dorky, and does some footwork to match. Janette is in a pair of short-shorts that I approve of. Jeanine is wearing a belt that appears to have a swastika on it. Melissa has a new bustier. Brandon seems to be genuinely enjoying himself, as I guess you would do if you were pretty much guaranteed to win the show.

Oh, here’s a banner telling me to switch to Fox News to watch the press conference. Yeah, okay. Like I care about health care reform. Cat Deeley looks pretty healthy to me. I just hope that tan is of the spray-on variety.

(For the record, I do care about health reform. And not just because Michelle Benjamin told me to. But that’s not why we’re here, is it?)

Mia is our guest judge. Fan-bloody-tastic. And for some reason Ellen Degeneres is also here. Uh… I mean, I guess I could judge this show too if Ellen can. I’ve seen Ellen dance. I sometimes find Ellen funny but more often do not. Everyone on the show laughs hysterically at every word she utters though. Oh, lord, this is going to be a long night.

The entire top 8 is doing a group routine together choreographed by Travis Wall. They’re acting as if they’re at a futuristic rave. So… is that a style? Is it hip-hop? Oh, okay, they tell us during the rehearsal footage that everyone is going to do their own styles. Well, that could be cool, potentially.

The dance begins, and the rave concept is immediately made clear by the fact that they’re all outfitted in glow sticks. Unfortunately, this creative costuming makes it impossible to tell any of the dancers apart, except for Kayla, the only remaining blonde, and Evan, the only remaining white guy. I enjoy the dance, more so than most of the other group numbers, but it isn’t particularly exciting. It’s very fast. And other than their futuristic tutus and hoochie tops, the women aren’t particularly overly sexualized. I missed the part where they were each doing their own styles, though. Overall it looks like it’s choreographed more for the stage than for the camera; there are moments where you can’t even see all of them at once.

Nigel likes the choreography and the outfits and says everyone is terrific. Ellen makes some jokes and everyone doubles over in laughter. Mary acts like she’s going to give some substantive critique but then does not. Mia says she’s going to wear one of the glow-stick costumes tomorrow night. Well, I’m sure that helped a lot of people decide who to vote for.

Our first pair is Evan and Janette. Oh, I’m not sure how to feel about this. They’re doing a jazz routine choreographed by Sonia. All right, well, both of these people are good at playing characters, so hopefully they can use that to their advantage and not be too obviously out of sync given their very different dance styles.

Janette is in one of those horrible black-leotard-cut-into-strips outfits that Jeanine always wears for her solo performances. Why, Sonia, why? Janette is one of the few people on this show who almost always manages to look classy. Why did you have to do this for her? The dance is… uh… it has to do with them putting their hands over their mouths a lot. And there’s some jerky stuff. It also has a lot of lifts. I think they’re both doing a good job with it, probably, but it means nothing to me. Janette is actually shorter than Evan, so that helps. But I’m really glad they didn’t pair these two together to begin with.

Nigel likes them both and says they’re “two little stars of this season” and that he’s finally starting to like Evan again. Ellen’s jokes get less funny every time she tells them. Mary says it was fun and way outside Evan’s genre (it’s outside Janette’s, too, but Mary doesn’t mention that) and says Evan “could’ve been a little bit rougher.” She compliments Evan’s lifts and athleticism and says Janette is always great. Mia says Evan “made a step in the right direction” and that Evan always has the same character and emotion, which might be my issue with him, actually. Then she says he’s too adorable to be dark and freakish like Sonia likes. Then she says Janette is her favorite this season. Finally, someone has articulated it on the show itself. Yay!

Then Kayla solos. I love her dress, and her hair is in a ponytail, and she looks her age for once. She does some stuff that shows off how flexible she is but isn’t so much fun to watch. She looks really happy, probably because she wasn’t in the bottom last week.

Commercials. They’re promoting the season premiere of House. House has a new haircut and is apparently the only character on the show now. Still undecided about whether I’m going to watch this season. I love Chase, but I can’t think of any other reasons to tune in. Maybe if they brought back Amber and Kutner as ghosts for the full season. Okay, now I’m getting excited just speculating about that.

The next pair is Brandon and Jeanine. They’re thrilled to be working together, and this should indeed be cool. Oh, but they’re doing the waltz, blah. What a waste of an interesting pairing. The choreographer is Hunter Johnson. The waltz made Brandon think of birds and bunnies and cats. I love Brandon.

Jeanine’s dress is gorgeous. Memo to Jeanine: You look so good when you wear clothes. You should try it more often. The dance is slow and boring and pretty, but involves a good amount of Brandon hauling Jeanine around. Hmm, this could be a risky week for Jeanine, although I think she’s great here.

Nigel says the routine was really demanding and that the music was painfully slow. He says they weren’t under enough control and that he’s a little disappointed. Ellen tells an unfunny story. Mary says it was the slowest waltz they’ve ever had on the show and that it would’ve been hard for any ballroom professional, then adds, “You guys did it respectable [sic].” It wasn’t quite good enough to merit a scream, though. Mia makes fun of Brandon’s line about birds and bunnies and says that since Brandon and Jeanine both have formal training they should’ve been magical, but that there were too many hiccups. I might’ve accepted that as a legitimate criticism if she hadn’t thrown in that personal dig at Brandon.

Next, Jason solos. I don’t know; I still feel like Jason is an also-ran. He’s clearly very good, as you can see here, but did he really deserve to stick around twice as long as, say, Max? He seems like a sweet guy but he’s so whatever.

Our next pair is Ade and Melissa. Yay! They’re doing the cha-cha with Tony and Melanie. Ooh, this should be fun to watch. Although Ade doesn’t seem all that psyched to be with Melissa again. I wonder what’s up with that.

And, oh no, they’ve put Melissa in another backless dress. This freaked me out last time. But I will try not to be too freaked out going in. They look great, as you would expect. What to even say about Melissa and Ade at this point? We know they’re amazing. There isn’t a style either of them can’t rock, and they play it so thoroughly, too, embracing their characters and these presumably unfamiliar movements, and closing with an awesome lift. Melissa has the best strut this side of Janette.

Nigel says it was “pretty good” and gives Melissa some technical critique, but notes that she gave some “good sexy moves” but pursed her lips too much. He compliments Ade’s height (how come no one ever compliments my height? I’m 5’2” and proud of it!), but says Ade could’ve sizzled a little bit more. Ellen kills some more time. Cat’s got to be loving her. Mary felt that the routine was again too slow, in what sounds like a criticism of the choreographers, and talks about Ade’s butt, which I’m sure she wishes she could do every week. Then she offers Melissa some more technical critique. Mia says it was Ade’s worst performance of the season and that Melissa was great. They both look really sad. Aww.

Okay, it’s time for Janette’s solo. Hang on, I need to prepare. Oh, she looks awesome, in a gorgeous flouncy dress. She rolls around on the floor and jumps and sashays and is just generally the lovely Janette. Wow, but standing next to Cat, she looks like a little child.

Our final pair is Jason and Kayla. They’re doing Broadway choreographed by Tyce. Kayla gets to play a temptress, which should be well within her comfort zone.

Ooh, I like this. They’re an interesting pairing. Jason seems to have a nice dramatic flair. Kayla is too over-the-top; she’s not a real character (and she can’t just act with her hair here, like she did in the Addiction dance). Wow, Jason looks really good. The actual dancing involves, I don’t know, lots of Kayla sticking her leg up in the air and Jason flailing his arms. It looks cool. I didn’t get the story at all, but that was very pretty.

Nigel compliments Jason’s toes and makes a Gene Kelly reference. He says Kayla is great and can do anything. He says it was one of the best of the night. Ellen invites them to come to her house and hang up pictures. Mary, who clearly does not enjoy having to wait while Ellen delivers her whatevers, says it was great and once again points out that Jason is attractive. Then she puts Kayla on her train and toots an actual whistle. Mia liked the choreography and wants Jason to work on his upper body and talks about how she wants to beat him with a hammer. I kind of want to beat Mia with a hammer. Mia says Kayla should sing and act and go on Broadway for real. Okay, so I guess I was wrong about her being too over-the-top. Then she says Kayla is perfect and “the epitome of a girl.” I’m not clear on why Mia hates women so much, but I don’t want to explore that, either.

Ade does his solo next, and isn’t quite as rapid-fire as he was last week, but he keeps a nice cheerleader smile in place the whole time and does some cool jerky stuff. I would like to note that of the eight dancers left in the competition, five of them specialize in contemporary. Were that not the case I would probably enjoy these solos a lot more.

Next Janette and Evan are dancing again. Oh boy, this is going to be a long review. They’re doing the rumba choreographed by Tony and Melanie. It’s “a dance of passion,” requiring femininity and masculinity, unlike every other dance style on this show. Doing the rumba obviously comes very naturally for Janette and not so much for Evan. But hopefully Janette can bend him to her will like she did with Brandon.

And no. No no no. They are not doing this. They are not doing the rumba to Kris Allen’s cover of “Heartless.” From the opening three notes I am way way way distracted and I want to watch my two favorite (well, one’s my favorite, and one I keep changing my mind about, but still) contestants do the rumba.

Except that they are, and there’s nothing I can do about it. So I will attempt to write about it coherently. (Well, to the degree that anything I ever write in my SYTYCD reviews is coherent.)

And you know, for all that… I kind of don’t love the performance. It’s nifty and all and I always like seeing Janette move in these Latin-esque styles. But… there just seems to be a complete absence of chemistry between them. Evan is trying, with the facial expressions, to match the style of the dance, but I kind of don’t think he can stretch that far. His acting used to be my primary reason for loving him (well, that and that time he jumped over Randi’s head), but he really doesn’t seem to have much acting range, especially next to Janette. Maybe his inadequacies weren’t as noticeable when we were only comparing him to Randi. (Sorry, Randi, I judge because I love.)

Nigel says the rumba is a hard style to get votes with. Really? He says Janette has the style down but that Evan didn’t look passionate at all. Then he talks about Evan’s eyelids for a while. He says the routine was lacking a little bit for him. Ellen says she loves Evan’s face and eyes, which is I think the first time she’s actually said something of substance about any of the contestants. Either she’s trying to make him feel better, or she’s been watching the show and has developed the same thoroughly nonsexual crush on Evan that everyone else in America has developed over the course of the summer. Mary says it was a tough routine and offers some technical compliments for Evan, and calls Janette a hot tamale. Mary is so phoning in it in these days. Mia has the same crush on Evan as the rest of us. What is up with that? Why do we as a culture like guys like Evan so much? Now I’m going to be thinking about this for a while. Then she says Evan was effectively sexy but with a Zoolander face. Mia offers up her own Zoolander face, which is hilarious. She also loves Janette. How come no one gushes about Janette? Are they just figuring eventually Kayla will beat her out if they downplay Janette’s awesomeness? Boo.

Melissa’s solo is next, and she poses a lot, and does ballet to a faster song than ballet is generally done to. Wow, she has such a beautiful smile.

Next, Brandon and Jeanine are doing pop-jazz choreographed by a new choreographer, Laurieann Gibson. Laurieann is a fan of “tough love” and makes Jeanine cry in rehearsal and at one point shouts “Don’t be a girl!” I am not so much liking Laurieann, but let’s see how the routine itself goes.

All right, so let’s talk about these outfits. The dance is somehow military-themed. Brandon is in camo pants and some sort of ripped-up vest, so maybe it’s post-apocalyptic, or at least post-battle. Jeanine, meanwhile, is in a ripped-up green bikini. I’m sure Jeanine is fine with that since clothes only seem to encumber her dancing, but can I just say that I AM SICK OF THIS SHOW AND ITS FORCING ITS WOMEN TO DANCE AROUND IN BIKINIS ALL THE TIME. IN REAL LIFE, WOMEN DO NOT WEAR BIKINIS ALL THE TIME. (AND YES, THOSE “BALL GOWNS” THAT ARE ACTUALLY LITTLE MORE THAN STRIPS OF FABRIC ATTACHED WITH DOUBLE-SIDED TAPE COUNT AS BIKINIS.) YOU ARE ALREADY FORCING CONTESTANTS TO BE VOTED OFF ACCORDING TO GENDER FOR NO APPARENT REASON, AND YOU FLIPPED OUT AT THE TWO GUYS WHO DARED TO AUDITION TOGETHER, AND YOU HAVE A HIGHLY CELEBRATED CHOREOGRAPHER/GUEST JUDGE WHO OPENLY STATED THAT SHE DID NOT LIKE FEMALE DANCERS AND JUST TOLD YOUR TOP PICK THAT SHE WAS “THE EPITOME OF A GIRL,” AND YOUR EXECUTIVE PRODUCER AND MOST VOCAL SPOKESPERSON IS A 60-YEAR-OLD BRITISH MAN WHO EAGERLY TALKS ABOUT HIS OPINIONS ON ALL THE WOMEN’S BODY PARTS AND FANTASIZES ABOUT HAVING THE MAGICAL ABILITY TO FORCE THE WOMEN IN HIS LIFE TO SHUT UP, AND HALF YOUR GROUP DANCES CAST THE MEN AS PIMPS AND THE WOMEN AS WHORES, SOMETIMES LITERALLY, AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I’VE HAD IT.

And okay, I’m sorry about the caps-lock, but I’m not editing it out, because seriously. I liked this show at the beginning of the top 20, and I still like it now. I enjoy the performances and I like the contestants. But I’m done. I’ll finish out this season, because I want to know what happens (and because I want to tell you my opinions about it), but I’m not tuning in for season 6 or for any other season. It is 2009, not 1959, and society is past all this when it comes to gender and sexuality, and I’m all for being retro, but not on this point. I have given this show plenty of chances to redeem itself and it hasn’t done so.

Which may seem like a dramatic statement until you realize that I’m only halfway through this week’s review. Lol.

So, Brandon and Jeanine are still dancing. I’ve put all that baggage on this performance now, and undeservedly, since there have been far worse costumes on the show before (remember that time they dressed Kayla up to look naked?). But the dance itself is okay, I guess. I don’t know- it’s to a Jordin Sparks song. These two are both good, but I definitely like Brandon better. Next to Jeanine he seems more polished. And I think he’s playing the character better. Even if I’m not entirely clear on who that character is supposed to be.

The crowd loved it, as did Nigel. He says the night has finally begun, and that up until now this was “the flattest night I’ve ever experienced on SYTYCD.” Then he compliments Jeanine for keeping up with Brandon. Uh… that sounds like a major insult to Jeanine to me. And a lot like what they kept telling her when she was with Phillip. Ellen is freaked out by Nigel and mocks the outfits. Mary says it was strong and powerful and puts them on her train and says she sees them in the finale. Everyone in the entire studio is freaking out. Okay, I guess Jeanine is safe this week after all. Mia hits on Laurieann and says Brandon is amazing and a powerhouse (Mia is clearly conscious of the fact that her early critiques of Brandon may well have hurt her reputation and is trying to make up for it) and mumbles something about how Jeanine is good, too.

Next, Evan solos. Bad timing for him. He does his usual thing, which is so different than what Jeanine and Brandon just did and incapable of getting anything like a similar reaction. He does a cool jump though. I get that Broadway is his specialty, but shouldn’t he have more than one Broadway character down by now?

Next it’s Jeanine’s solo. She’s in one of her standard half-leotard things. I like that her contemporary is infused with ballet. I don’t like that she also does random hip-hop moves in the middle. That does not seem very Jeanineish.

Melissa and Ade are doing their second routine – contemporary choreographed by Tyce. It’s about a woman who has breast cancer. Okay. Can Tyce pull this off, I wonder? They all seem pretty moved in rehearsals, at least.

And… okay, this actually is pretty moving. Wow. I don’t even know what to say about it. It’s really good. And very impressive, too.

Melissa and some people we see in the audience are already crying. And then Nigel is too. Well, Nigel knew this was coming and had time to prepare his tears. I mean, not to be cynical. He predicts another Emmy nom for Tyce. I do too. He calls it one of the most memorable routines ever on the show, and says Melissa and Ade were the best dancers to perform it. Tyce is also in tears. Ellen calls it “the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Mary’s also crying, or else she put glycerin tears in when the camera wasn’t on her (but I think you can cry with Botox, and the makeup streaks look real enough). She says some stuff I don’t understand about love and compassion and offers technical compliments to both of them. Nigel is turned around now with his back to us. Mia is also crying, louder than the others and in such a way that I don’t doubt its veracity. She talks about people she’s known who’ve had cancer, especially her dad. We keep cutting to this one guy in the audience, which is kind of distracting. Maybe it’s Melissa’s husband? Cat must be freaking out about how long this judging round is taking. She isn’t crying, because nothing gets Cat Deeley down.

Next, Brandon solos. Ooh, this is fun to watch. He’s got some serious personality these days. Thanks for that, Janette. Also, some awesome gymnastic stuff at the end. Cat compares him to a racehorse.

Now Kayla and Jason are doing hip-hop choreographed by Shane Sparks. It involves the two of them being zombies and Jason pulling Kayla’s hair, kicking her, throwing her to the ground, etc. Right. See the caps-lock section above. Also, let’s note the uncreativity re: zombies.

Jason and Kayla, of course, throw themselves into the performance. And I think they’re probably pretty good. But wow, again with the bad luck. The producers thought it made sense to put this after the breast cancer routine? Really? I mean, I guess it earns them a better chance of being remembered, but come on. These two routines should’ve been put as far apart as possible.

Nigel points out the Michael Jackson reference (well, someone had to) and says that this is one of the only hip-hop routines he’s enjoyed this season. He says the last few routines have all been great. Well, yes, he wants to keep Kayla in the competition. Ellen makes a joke. Mary says she loved every second and that it was pure entertainment, and then she shrieks. Mia says it was her favorite routine by Shane and that she was really into the moment when Jason strangled Kayla. Of course she was.

Okay, well I don’t see how either Melissa or Ade could possibly be in jeopardy, especially Melissa. And neither, most likely, is Brandon or Jeanine. So that leaves us Evan, Jason, Kayla, and Janette for the bottom four. I don’t like that because it raises a strong possibility of Janette going home.

But who’s being eliminated is a secondary concern this results night, since it’s the show’s 100^th episode and so most of its time will be spent celebrating the seasons I haven’t seen. I likely won’t have time to form opinions about most of this, so maybe I’ll manage to be brief this time.

Cat is wearing a dress with a tiger on it. Literally. There is an image of a tiger on her dress. Her hair is extremely teased, maybe to look like a mane? Except that lions are the ones that have manes. And if I was going to associate Cat with an actual, you know, cat, it would definitely be a lion.

Okay, so we’re still having the group dance, 100^th episode or not. It’s Broadway. Everyone is in white suits and top hats; the women’s suits, of course, are low-cut. Oh, hey, this is actually cool. It helps that it’s a good song (from A Chorus Line). Hey, that was actually fun to watch. My favorite group number yet. And it was choreographed by… Mia! Lol again. Well, hey, I never said she was a bad choreographer. I’m still thinking about that Addiction routine (even if the breast cancer one made a much bigger impression on me).

Clip show time. Nigel used to dye his hair. Mary used to have a flexible face. Not sure what else to say; it’s a well-edited clip show.

Cat is still wearing that dress. Maybe her hair is actually a tribute to Farrah Fawcett?

The bottom two women are Kayla and Janette. Oh crap. This is the first time all season I’ve actually been nervous.

Next two contestants from a previous season are doing a dance called “The Hummingbird and the Flower.” This is not, alas, the one with the bench, which is the only one I want to see. This routine is pretty, but I’m not sure I get why it’s got such a following years later. Maybe they didn’t have that many good routines in the earlier seasons?

Cat, please stop expecting me to be excited to see Katie Holmes. She used to be on TV every single week, you know.

The bottom two men are Jason and Brandon. Uhhhhhhhhhh….. okay, if I wasn’t already done with the show I would be now. I like Evan, probably more than I like Brandon, but that was So. Not. Fair. Who are these viewers who are obsessed with Evan? Is this one of these things where the 12-year-olds are writing fan fiction with themselves cast as Randi and then doing that super-duper-dialing thing for Evan every week? Man, I kind of wish the judges were doing the eliminations again, so I could be sure Brandon was safe. Except that then they’d cut Janette and at least this way she still has a chance of surviving. As Cat pointed out, Kayla has already been in the bottom more than once.

Next, we see “The Bench.” It’s to a Celine Dion song, hee. One of the dancers is that guy Travis who choreographed last night. It is indeed cool. I can see why people make a big deal about it. Again, though, didn’t make as big an impression as the Addiction one or the Breast Cancer one.

30 seconds of pointless shame. Kayla does her usual thing to a prettier song than usual and looks seriously stressed. Well, yes. Jason jumps around, like always. I have come to like Jason, simply, I think, because he’s been around for so much longer than seemed probable. I will miss him. Assuming “America” did the right thing, that is. Janette is also dancing to a Celine Dion song, and is great, like always, although she doesn’t seem to be quite as into it as usual. Brandon’s solo is awesome. Better than it was last night. Or maybe I’m just glad he’s wearing a shirt.

Next, a Wade Robson group routine, also from a previous season, “Ramalama.” Great, more zombies. At least they’re in expensive-looking costumes this time, though. The male zombies are totally making me think of Peter Facinelli in Twilight. Wait, are they actually vampires? No, definitely zombies. It’s a cooler dance than any of the previous group zombie routines we’ve seen. Oh, I think Wade Robson himself is the one who’s looking the most Facinelli-like. Hee. I wish Mia had come out and danced with Travis and that chick to “The Bench” too. Can you imagine?

And then it’s finally time for Katie Holmes, whom Cat calls “one of the biggest stars of the silver screen” (well, she was pretty good in Abandon, I guess). And then Cat cuts to an interview she herself taped with Ms. Holmes about the Dizzy Feet Foundation. Katie reveals that she and Tyce are good friends. Ah, okay, now it all makes sense.

And then her performance is also pre-taped. She’s singing and dancing to “Get Happy” and wearing a gorgeous white suit in the taped intro, in which she is very obviously not singing live. Then we cut to an on-stage performance, which is also obviously taped (well, I guess a lot of the show is taped, but that beginning part was the first time we’ve seen something filmed somewhere other than on the SYTYCD stage, so I think she deserves some extra criticism for it. Also she’s obviously lip-syncing here, too.) Her dancing is okay I guess, certainly better than I could do, but it’s very simple, and dude, I would love to see her have a dance-off with Janette.

All right, well at least now they can stop promoting that.

Eliminations. Oh dear. Women first. It’s… Janette. Of course it is. I don’t even know what to say. Cat calls it the shock of the season, except that it’s really not. Nigel says that Janette was his favorite and he wanted her to win. Well then, Nigel, why did you gush so much about Kayla all the friggin’ time? If you hadn’t then something different might’ve happened here. Janette holds it together very well and gives an articulate speech about how the experience has changed her life. Bye, sweetie. It’s not your fault we’re stuck with Kayla and Jeanine another week.

Next, the men. Okay, I really don’t know what I’ll do if it’s Brandon. It’s… Jason. I feel as relieved as Brandon looks. Aww, I had forgotten about Jason’s one-sock audition.

So now I’m depressed. The show that I didn’t want to watch managed to draw me in, and then I started caring about it, and then finally I reached my breaking point and realized I couldn’t take the gendered BS anymore, and then they got rid of my favorite the same week. Next summer I think I’ll just stick to my usual routine of catching up on The Tudors on Netflix.

For another take on this episode, check out Inisia Lewis’ review here.

Season 5, Episodes 18&19: Top 8 (originally aired July 22&23, 2009)

For more on So You Think You Can Dance, click here.

Wednesdays and Thursdays at 8/7c on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

So You Think You Can Dance: The Top 8

OMG! I totally forgot that last week we were told that Ellen DeGeneres would be a guest judge! It’s so much better to be surprised twice anyways. It’s like finding a $20 bill in your old winter coat a year later. YAY! Of course, they had to balance out such a light and fun choice with the very strict Mia Michaels.

Now it’s time for the Top 8 to break it down with a Travis Wall choreographed futuristic piece. It’s not as emotionally investing as his last piece which is why I probably don’t like it as much. But it is genuinely great. And it showcases everyone’s unique style.

Evan and Janette do a Sonya jazz routine. I’ve missed her. There are so many choreographers in the SYTYCD farm that we see much less of them now, but since the show has gotten more popular, I guess that’s good for them because they’re more famous and do many more projects. Anyway TANGENT! I am excited to see Janette in this piece because her technique is so amazing now. She’s always been a great performer, but she’s confident in a style so different from her own. Wow! Evan on the other hand has proven that he’s a powerful guy even if he’s the littlest of them all, but he hasn’t been captivating me like he did in the beginning or when he does his solos.

Nigel knows he’s picked on Evan, but he thinks he’s finally getting more from him, and Janette is wonderful. Ellen says, “It was very hard hitting, complex, rich and full bodied. Oh wait, I’m thinking of the wine I had before I came out here. It was delicious!” Mary thinks Evan did good, but towards the end, he could have gotten rougher, and Janette can’t take a wrong step. Mia thinks Evan has gotten by as a great dancer with a cute face, but he has a harder time with dark stuff, and Janette is her absolute favorite this season.

Brandon and Jeanine get a waltz with Hunter Johnson. There’s a lot of whining in rehearsals about how hard it is, but we’ve seen it done many times, so suck it up and get to it. From where I sat, it looked beautiful and elegant and easy. The best was all their effortless turns. And Jeanine becomes my favorite the more and more she dances. Brandon didn’t get to show off his strength which meant I didn’t focus on him as much. But what do I know about waltzing?

Nigel says that it was hard and great choreography, but with the slow music, they needed a greater sense of controlled power. Ellen is clearly not there to hate on the dancing so she just cracks another joke before telling them how fantastic they were. Mary believes any professional dancer would have a hard time with a waltz and that slow tempo, but they did a respectable job. Mia gets sassy saying, “Maybe if you weren’t dreaming about birds and bunnies, the performance would have been much better.”

Ade and Melissa tackle a ChaCha with Tony and Melanie. AHH! For once, a couple is back together! I think Ade has a lot more swivel to his hips than Melissa. From the start, they’re hitting all the moves, but it’s the opposite of sexy. It’s actually quite awkward! Eek! It just doesn’t feel like organic, natural spiciness to me!

Nigel thinks it was good. Ade has great stature, but could have sizzled a little more. And Melissa is naturally sexy, but she has to watch out not to go too over the top. Ellen quipped, “Are you two carpenters because you nailed it?!” Mary says everything was executed right but Ade’s bum was in the air and Melissa was trying to hard! Haha. Mia thinks it was Ade’s worst performance, and I agree, but I don’t agree with her idea that Melissa did well.

Jason and Kayla take on a Tyce Jazz routine. Both are great technically so I’m pumped. It’s sexy, silky and smooth. And I can’t find a single bit wrong with the performance, that’s how enjoyable it is. Kayla is forever captivating, and Jason showed me the power.

Nigel thinks it was one of the best routines this evening that showed off both of their personal talents. Ellen says, “I don’t know what to say. I just wanted to see a taping, and these are good seats…I’d like to invite both of you over to the house because I have some pictures that need to be hung because you’re both good nailers!” Mary loved that Tyce came up with another routine that made them play off of each other so well. Jason was suave and Kayla’s “riding first class.” Toot, toot! Woo, woo! Mia loved the piece and the bluesy fusion. She wants Jason to open up his upper body. And Kayla thinks if she sings or acts then she’d take Broadway by storm.

Evan and Janette are up for dance two, a Tony and Melanie Rumba. Janette will already be able to bang this one out, but can Evan be convincingly sexy. From the jump, I’m impressed with Evan’s hips. Who knew? Throughout the dance, he fumbles with keeping his footwork grounded, but with Janette’s command, I would say it was a nice surprise.

Nigel loves the routine, and thinks it’s, no question, Janette’s to dazzle, but that Evan couldn’t bring sexy to his face which leads to a lack of chemistry. Ellen says, “The problem with being in this town is everybody’s face starts looking exactly alike, going to the same doctor. I love that your eyes are so unique, and you face is so charming and charismatic.” Mary though Evan was on time and well connected, and Janette has the patent on being a little hot tamale. Mia was a little scared to see Evan sexy like how he did it with the Zoolander face.

Brandon and Jeanine do a pop routine with Lori Ann Gibson. Boom Cack! I love the Making the Band choreographer! I watch for her! It’s like hip hop and jazz. It’s smooth and gritty at the same time, and very different than other pieces choreographed before on the show. I love to see something different. These two totally have the emotion down. Their flow when they have to do moves with each other could have been smoother, but I forgive them.

Nigel says all he’s asking is for performances like this one. Ellen comments on their costumes by saying, “I’m happy too. You make it appealing to join some kind of armed forces.” Mary says it was strong, dynamic and they used the stage. Mia makes Lori Ann cry by calling out to her conviction. They’re “sistahs” apparently. She bravo-ed Brandon as a powerhouse and gave kudos to Jeanine for keeping up.

Ade and Melissa get a contemporary piece by Tyce that’s deep and emotional. This guy can choreograph it all, can’t he? There’s nothing more to say about this piece than it’s absolutely beautiful. It wasn’t about the dancing. It was about the meaning of women getting cancers and the emotion behind it, balanced with this strong male who’s there with hope and support. It brings all the judges to tears. I smell Grammy.

Jason and Kayla are oh-so-lucky to get a Shane Sparks Hip Hop routine. I love him. It’s like Thriller-style hip hop, and it was strange to see both of these dancers in this style, but they attack it, making it different and cool and freaky.

Nigel lauds having Shane back. Amen to that. And he loves that the last few routines have been so terrific. Ellen loved it, of course. Mary thought they hit it hard, leaving clear pictures. They get little screams, too. Mia claims it as her favorite piece Shane’s ever done on the show. And the strangling at the end was “disturbingly hot.”

THE SOLOS

Kayla is beautiful no matter what she dances to, what choreography, or how she moves. How is THIS girl not Mia’s favorite?

Jason’s solo is okay. I’m missing the manly power and control, though. I get a little of it about three of his high jumps and kicks, but it’s not enough for me.

Janette! I love you. You are one of the few who’s not afraid to show how much you’ve grown. She actually mixed more contemporary than Latin into her dance. And she was fabulous!

Ade’s got some ups! That kid is just a whole lot of strength, power, and control. Plus when he smiles, he just lights up a room.

Melissa changes it up this week, merging ballet with some funky moves. I’m sure being in the bottom so much makes her want to show she’s improved, but it may be too little too late in comparison to the other ladies.

Evan does his hat and suspenders solo that I love but sadly he drops his hat in the middle. It’s like Luke dropping his light saber during battle. NOOOOO!

Jeanine is just so precise and beautiful. I never thought I’d love her as much as I do, but for me this year is for the ladies to win. She was delicate but commanding- very hard to do at the same time.

Brandon is last but not least. When I think Ade is strong, Brandon is always more powerful. He still hasn’t reached Ade’s level of emotion, but he’s crazy good when it comes to all the technical things and then throwing insane flips in there, too.

THE RESULTS

This is a special and spectacular episode since it’s the 100th So You Think You Can Dance. It’s jam packed with special performances from Mia Michael’s Bench Dance with Travis and Heidi, Wade Robson’s Hummingbird and the Flower Dance with Hok, and Wade’s Ramalama which he joins with the Season Two dancers. I’m reminded again how wonderful this show is and the kind of talent it produces.

I assure you there are results tonight, but we are also treated to Contemporary Broadway dance choreographed by Mia Michael to “One” from A Chorus Line. And the dance definitely gives us that old razzle-dazzle. Then brought in to dazzle us some more is Tyce’s friend Katie Holmes. I know from her brief stint on Eli Stone that she’s got some chops. Performing to Judy Garland choreography with Tyce’s direction, she sang and danced to “Get Happy.” It wasn’t great in my opinion. She was lip-synching and BARELY dancing, but at least her performance fee went to charity!

So down to the results. It’s hard to guess who’s going to be in the bottom. The girls, to me, are all so great, but the unfortunate two are Janette and Kayla. I think they’re both the tops but one has to go, and sadly it’s Janette. On the boy’s side, it’s down to Brandon and Jason, and my choice is a little bit easier for this one. Luckily who I’d choose, not because there’s anything wrong with his dance but just that Brandon’s better, is Jason.

Though I know the choices are going to get tough with the finale so close, it’s probably the hardest two to let go for me, and it’ll only get harder. Time to bring it, dancers!

For another take on this episode, check out Robin Reed’s review here.

Season 5, Episodes 18&19: Top 8 (originally aired July 22&23, 2009)

For more on So You Think You Can Dance, click here.

Wednesdays and Thursdays at 8/7c on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

Burn Notice: Shot in the Dark

Michael Westen is a popular guy. Everybody wants his help. Well, everyone besides his former government employers, that is. As the episode opens, Michael is trying to navigate the nightclub crowd just to get back to his loft, with Fiona at his side. Michael explains that spies aren’t much for nightclubs. But when he gets to his steps, he finds a beautiful woman waiting with body lotion, which she offers to personally apply. Michael isn’t interested, and Fiona isn’t amused. They may not be going steady (does anyone actually say that anymore?), but Fiona sure isn’t going to let any woman put her hands on Michael.

The gift is from Strickler, the persistent agent to the spies that Michael met last week and turned down. Michael goes and meets with Strickler again to reiterate that he is not interested in working for Strickler, but Strickler claims that if Michael does a few gigs for him, he can get him back into the spy game. Of course Michael is intrigued, but he doesn’t trust Strickler, and he doesn’t even know if Strickler really has the connections to get him back in. Toward that end, Michael pays a visit to Diego, the active spy Michael has shanghaied into being his point of contact, and more or less blackmails him into digging up info on Strickler. But in a nice way.

Michael isn’t looking for freelance gigs, but somehow they always find him. Actually, in this case, they find Fiona. Michael is walking with Fiona to her place when he notices there has been a break in. Guns drawn, they sweep the house. Is it an assassin? Is it a spy? Is it a gangster? No, it’s a thirteen-year-old boy who is holding one of Fiona’s guns and making a run for it. Michael chases him down and the kid reluctantly tells him that he was borrowing the gun because he has to kill his stepdad, and he knew Fiona had a gun because he once saw her carrying gun oil. Eh, works for me.

The stepdad, Erik, is trying to take the kid, Joey, and his brother away from their mother. And Erik’s brother, Quinn, is a ruthless gangster, and the stepdad is in cahoots with him and does a lot of shady stuff and has all kinds of connections so he’ll probably win custody. Oh, and Quinn is played by Nicholas Lea, who was Krycek on The X-Files, so you know he’s evil. Sounds like a job for the Burn Notice crew. Sam is a little reluctant, but he quickly recognizes that the abusive father figure thing is a sore spot for Michael. “I’m in” he says, “but when the time comes to rescue a bunch of rich women trapped in a brewery, you better step up,” Sam declares.

The plan is to drive a wedge between Erik and Quinn. Fi pumps the mother for information and learns that Erik has a side business that Quinn doesn’t know about. Said side business involves anonymously selling off luxury cars that have been seized at the docks and pocketing the profits. That’s Michael’s way in: he pretends to be an unsatisfied customer. He walks into Erik’s office and pounds him, saying that he bought a car from Erik and now some dangerous folk are trying to kill him. And if they’re after him, then they must be after Erik.

From there, the plan becomes to really convince Erik that there are people out to kill him and that the only way to survive is to flee town, thus missing the custody hearing and leaving Joey, his brother, and his mother happily ever after. The team employs the usual nifty and entertaining-as-hell tactics to pull the rug out from under Erik.

They disable his car, jam his cell phone, and Fiona takes shots at him in a drive-by. Michael even has Fiona and Sam pose as assassins for Erik to hire to find and kill the nonexistent guys who are supposedly trying to kill him. Then they work up some squibs and fake their own deaths (come on, you knew that the teaser last week showing Fiona getting shot had to be a ruse). They even try to convince Quinn that Erik is bonkers.

This is a slightly more lighthearted episode of Burn Notice, and while normally I prefer dark, the episode is loads of clever fun. We get a couple of quick sprinkles of emotional development with Madeline, commenting on Michael’s childhood, and more of the tension between Michael and Fiona. The writers are doing a good job of preserving the tension between them, bringing them closer then further apart, and back and forth. That’s a hard task to do without seeming transparent and over-manipulating the audience.

Will Michael decide to work with Strickler? Is Strickler the devil? We’ll find out soon.

Season 3, Episode 7: Shot in the Dark (originally aired July 23, 2009)

For more on Burn Notice, click here.

Thursdays at 10/9c on USA

Photographs courtesy of IMDB Pro

Does Trick R Treat Smell Like Feet, Or Give Us Something Good To Eat

After being at least a year late, Michael Dougherty hopes that Trick r Treat will bring back the scary fun horror movies from the ’80s.  We are betting that he may just be able to do so.  Especially with the help of veteran and skilled actor Brian Cox and the new hot CSI Chick, Lauren Lee Smith.

Here is a live blog from their panel discussion at 2009 Comic Con before the screening of the movie. It was late at night, but the room was packed and the crowd seemed to love what they saw.  (I apologize in advance, for the real-time grammatical errors, but we will have it cleaned up in the final version.)

After watching the World premiere of The Hills Run Red, we were off to the panel and then to the movie itself.

Here is what Warner Brothers says the film is about:

It is said that Halloween is the night when the dead rise to walk among us and other unspeakable things roam free. The rituals of All Hallows Eve were devised to protect us from their evil mischief, and one small town is about to be taught a terrifying lesson that some traditions are best not forgotten. Nothing is what it seems when a suburban couple learns the dangers of blowing out a Jack-o-Lantern before midnight; four women cross paths with a costumed stalker at a local festival; a group of pranksters goes too far and discovers the horrifying truth buried in a local legend; and a cantankerous old hermit is visited by a strange trick-or-treater with a few bones to pick. Costumes and candy, ghouls and goblins, monsters and mayhem… the tricks and treats of Halloween turn deadly as strange creatures of every variety-human and otherwise-try to survive the scariest night of the year.

Harry Knowles moderated the discussion which started out as a meadering ode to all the films that he and Dougherty thought were good, but got little to no play.  Finally, the panel settled into their love of the film by recounting that they each have a Sam doll in their house.  Smith went further to say that she gave her doll away to her relative’s son and the couple was none too excited about that.

The panelist seemed to do what most panelist at these large conventions do — tell inside jokes that only small pockets of fans understand because they follow the panelist’s tweets.  However, a great moment of levity occurred when Brian Cox stated that he did his make in the movie to look like John Carpenter, with little success.

The movie itself was good in that campy, funny, cool horror type of way.  They acting was what you would expect of that type of film 20 years ago.  Although she did not say much during the panel, we have high hopes for Lauren Lee Smith stemming from this performance.

Here are some shots from the presentation below: (More pics to come)

Revised 7/24/09 @ 12:30

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