Rescue Me: Torch

This is probably the darkest and most disturbing episode of the season so far, and in my book, that’s a good thing. You wouldn’t think that would be the case given how the episode starts: with another Garrity musical number. He’s singing a little ditty inspired by Singin’ in the Rain but he starts wheezing and coughing throughout. Suddenly he wakes up to find Teddy holding a pillow over his face. Teddy has done similar duties at various VA hospitals throughout the season, so it only makes sense that he would graduate to doing it on close friends and family members. He thinks he is helping put Sean out of his misery, but Sean tells him steadfastly that he plans to survive the cancer and wants to live…that’s until Teddy tells him that Sean’s loony sexpot ex-wife Maggie (also Tommy’s sister) is coming to visit him. Then Sean asks Teddy to please smother him. Can’t blame him, I’ve been there myself.

Meanwhile, the rest of the crew works an accident scene, a few cars overturned in flames off the highway. Lou tells Tommy that he is making his move on Candy later that night. Tommy gets the hint to find another place to stay for the evening, but tells Lou to make sure that Candy doesn’t go through his stuff before he leaves. Oh that Tommy Gavin, a beacon of sincerity and support. But suddenly Tommy and Lou see something that stops their banter. In an intelligent and effective use of restraint, we never see what they see, but we know it’s something awful involving a dead, burned, mangled kid.

Black Shawn and Franco see that Tommy and Lou have stopped in their tracks and come over to see what they’re looking at. Shawn hurls and even ultra-tough, macho Franco almost loses it. Needles tells everyone to take a minute to collect themselves, then do the job they were trained to do. But no one can move. No one except Tommy, who grabs a blanket and calmly walks over to the body and takes his time wrapping the pieces in a blanket. The angle on this moment is a tight closeup of Tommy from the shoulders up. We just see the blank expression on his face. Tommy finishes, gets up, and carries the body away, a mask of stone. The guys all wonder how he can do it. Needles postulates that when you see your own kid mangled by a drunk driver, anything else you ever see will never compare. “Either that or we’re all just a bunch of pussies. I’m going with the dead kid thing.”

This episode then becomes all about exploring the fact that Tommy can’t feel any real emotion anymore. Tommy goes to their bar and cues up the DVD he got from Mickey of their home movies that has his dad, his brother, Jimmy, his son Connor—all deceased. Teddy revealed in an earlier episode that he had a couple of large Bushmills, watched the DVD and had a cathartic tearfest. Tommy hopes he can do the same, but he drinks and drinks and watches—soon joined by the ghosts of his brother, his father, and his son—but feels nothing. Tommy’s dad says that Tommy can drink all that he wants, but there aren’t any tears left after Tommy. He says that Tommy is now a better fireman than he or anyone else ever was, because he’s an Iron Man, and all he can feel is the heat from a fire. Tommy decides to test this theory and grabs a nearby blowtorch.

He tests it on his hand but it’s not enough, so he has a few more drinks and takes off his pants and burns his thigh until there’s practically a hole in his leg and he’s in excruciating pain. His leg is literally on fire, but he accomplished his twisted mission: he is now feeling something. He looks for a first aid kit and finds one, but there is nothing in it. But then his loser/ former sponsee Derek calls to save the day. He asks Tommy if he is drunk. Tommy tells him that yes, he’s drunk, he just visited with the ghosts of his dead relatives and burned a hole through his leg with a blowtorch. Derek hangs up, telling him that he doesn’t have to make fun of him. It’s a wickedly funny moment. Only Rescue Me would have the balls to make a joke out of something as sick as burning yourself with a blowtorch.

Tommy goes over to Sheila because she does have a first aid kit. At first she’s appalled and horrified by what he’s done and wants to take him to the emergency room. Not only does he talk her out of it, but he talks her into having sex, even though his thigh is literally on fire. Wow. He then goes over with the rest of the guys to visit Garrity at the hospital. Garrity has already had his share of visitors thanks to Maggie (I won’t even get into that scene), so the guys go to wait outside in the hall. They see a group of cancer kids walk by and follow them to their ward. They all watch sadly through the window, staring at the kids. A nurse comes out and tells them that staring sadly at the kids only reinforces for them how sick they are. She tells them to either put on happy faces or leave. So they all leave…except for Tommy, who goes into the ward, all smiles, and starts interacting with the kids. The guys all come back and watch in amazement.

It’s really a haunting episode. Tommy has been dealing with being emotionally dead since the series began, it was the key factor that broke up his marriage with Janet (I say for the better, because Janet ought to be put to sleep). But he seems to be worse off than ever, and after five seasons of this show, that’s really saying something.

Season 5, Episode 13: Torch (originally aired June 30, 2009)

For another take on this episode, check out Walking Towards the Light by Jaimie Campos.

For more on Rescue Me, click here.

Tuesdays at 10pm on FX

Photographs courtesy of FX and IMDbPro