Weeds: The Magic 8 Ball

Since their Mexican bodyguard disappeared leaving behind only a trail of blood, Nancy and family were hanging out in the arcade. Andy wants to go home and suggests that Nancy’s only angry about him sleeping with Jill because she’s jealous. Nancy scoffs and reminds him that she’s pregnant with another man’s child.

Baby daddy then calls and they return home where Esteban meets Nancy’s sons for the first time. Esteban is happy with Nancy since he just found out that it really is a boy that she’s carrying. Shane is about as thrilled as Andy to meet the man who impregnated his mother while Silas tries to shut him up. Esteban then invites them to live with him in his house in California and gives Nancy a Zen baby swing. Nancy says she’ll think about the moving in thing and Esteban gives her Ignacio as a bodyguard in the meantime, who promptly tasers Andy who wets himself. Nancy is not phased and makes the goon go get a towel.

After being embarrassed by Ignacio, Andy starts working out in the garage in some awesome 80s aerobic gear. Ignacio says he looks like Jamie Lee Curtis, but Andy’s the last one laughing when he discovers an old bank book of his dead brother Judah.

Meanwhile Celia turns up, asks if Nancy’s baby is Andy’s and is promptly thrown out on her ass. Trying not to get thrown out on their asses, Doug and Silas are trying to get a space for their medical marijuana business, but the woman at the location they want won’t give it to them when she finds out what they’re planning to sell. So being the newly law-abiding citizens they are, they go to their cop friend that they’re bribing.

At school, Shane is taking a decidedly less legal route and is preparing to get $4,000 worth of pot to sell to his teacher. That has good idea written all over it. As Shane takes the majority of Silas’ pot sandwiches from the fridge, Andy reaches out to Shane as the family’s moral center. Oh boy. He asks if it would be okay to impersonate his dead brother to get some money that could help the family. Shane tells him his dad’s passport is upstairs. Andy, however, doesn’t approve of Shane’s plan to sell to his teacher and in a truly great line Shane responds, “I’m a Botwin. We’re not responsible for anything we do.” Touché.

So off Shane goes to give the pot to his teacher, who puts the duffel bag full of weed in the trunk and drives off without paying. Something tells me that that’s going to have some consequences.

Somehow not bothered by that sentiment coming from his nephew, Andy pursues his brother’s money at the local bank and has the great misfortune to have a teller that once dated his brother Judah. She wants to know where Judah is so she can tell him all the things she’s been waiting to tell the jerk. Even though there’s $186,000 in the bank, Andy does the right thing and tells the woman that Judah died.  However, the bank teller is still a little too stuck on Judah and says she’ll give Andy the money if he goes on a date with her, pretending to be Judah. Andy thinks that’s creepy but agrees for $186K. It looks like Andy’s luck might be changing.

But Nancy’s luck is only getting worse. Ignacio discovers scorned DEA Agent Till out in his car and drags him in. He’s got a gun and some brass knuckles, but no badge on him. This was about to get personal, and Nancy realizes it must have been him who killed Sucio. Ignacio reports that he’s going to drain the unconscious DEA Agent’s blood in her bathtub. Nancy takes the taser and zaps Ignacio. Not in her bathtub.

The two men finally come to after Nancy has handcuffed them both to her bed – and not in a sexy way. Roy Till wants to know which side Nancy’s on and Ignacio brings up the obvious: she’s pregnant with his boss’ baby. The two men start to leg wrestle, but when Agent Till gets a little excited, Ignacio decides they shouldn’t fight anymore. Meanwhile, Nancy doesn’t know what she’s going to do – whichever man she sets free is going to kill the other. She can’t decide and instead consults a Magic 8 Ball. When that doesn’t seem to be working, she calls Esteban.

Esteban arrives to find Nancy curled up in the hall, nearly catatonic, repeating Magic 8 Ball phrases over and over. Esteban resolves the issue, telling her there’s no right and wrong here, and he’ll do anything to protect her and their son, and then he goes into the bedroom. Later Ignacio washes up, and Nancy and Esteban go for a walk on the beach. He throws her Magic 8 Ball into the ocean and kisses her belly. No more decision-making for Nancy.

Back at the house, Andy finishes putting together the baby rocker.

Season 5, Episode 4: Super Lucky Happy (Originally aired June 29, 2009)

For more Weeds, click here.

Mondays at 10pm ET/PT on Showtime

Photographs courtesy of Showtime, Cliff Lipson