Entourage: No More Drama

Building on last week’s semi-decent episode, Entourage resumes with Vince experiencing another one of fame’s pitfalls. He’s got his first stalker, but he’s more freaked out than flattered. While asleep with his flavor of the day, an intruder breaks into Vince’s crib and steals…his drawers! What a perv. They stole all of the underwear in the hamper, which means some of it was Turtle’s!

Drama is feeling the consequences of roughing up Dan Coakley last week. He may be out of a job, and he’s going to need to apologize if he wants to keep his career on life support. This Coakley guy is a real prick, but Drama needs to be more mature and pick his battles. Defending your homeboy’s girl, while admirable, is not worth losing a career. Fortunately for Drama, Eddie Burns wants to keep him on.

Drama is always good for a laugh, but the funniest part of the show was a cameo by Bob Saget. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the REAL Bob Saget, but he’s not Danny Tanner from Full House, let me tell ya. He has a hilariously filthy mouth, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote his own dialogue for this episode, especially his sarcastic one-liners. Bob’s on the show because Eric’s new agency wants him as a client, and one of their agents is trying to seal the deal. Scott Caan plays the agent, which I thought was odd. I would’ve expected Caan to play himself, perhaps dispensing zingers at Drama’s expense like Mark Wahlberg did a few episodes ago.

Anyway, Caan plays Scott, a complete jerk who is threatened by Eric’s presence at the agency and envious of his prior cursory relationship with Bob Saget. Bob used to be Vince’s neighbor, so Eric already knows him and offers to help bring him on board at the agency. Scott refuses, preferring to be the one who reels in the big fish. At the end of the day, Eric is the only one with the testicular fortitude to approach Murray with Bob’s sole pre-condition of signing with the agency. Bob wants to screw his girlfriend in Murray’s office, and if that can happen then he’ll sign. Done and done. All in a day’s work.

This was a good episode, but that’s due in large part to Bob Saget. I don’t think that’s a good sign. Your principal characters should be the reason a show is good, not because you’ve resorted to cheap tricks or gimmicks. I don’t want to be overly critical. There wasn’t too much to complain about in this episode, but I just want the show to hit its stride this season and build upon that. I fear the only really good episodes will be the last two, and then we will be left waiting for the next season. I hope I’m wrong.

For another take on this week’s episode, read Now We’re Talkin’ by Renata Sellitti.

Season 6, Episode 7: No More Drama (originally aired August 23, 2009)

For more Entourage, click here.

Sundays at 10pm ET/PT on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO.

Merlin: You Won’t See Me Again

After many weeks of absence, I return for the final two episodes of Merlin.  Episode one begins with a sorcerer approaching Tom (Gwen’s father) and asking for some melted lead.  The sorcerer turns the lead into gold using a magical rock (the Philosopher’s Stone?).  Oooh, call Nicholas Flamel!  Anyway, Tom is freaked out by it and Arthur arrives with guards to arrest Tom for treason.  The sorcerer (Tauren) escapes, and Merlin feels a disturbance in the force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.  Wait, that’s something else.  So Uther and his lack of mercy convicts Tom and sentences him to death.  Morgana plays the role of de facto defense counsel and objects to the whole process, but it convinces Uther to give Tom a trial before executing him.  Well, I hope Uther isn’t on the jury.

In preparing for Tom’s trial, Morgana searches his forge and finds the magical stone.  She is intrigued and tells Merlin about Uther’s planned kangaroo court.  Still outraged, Morgana slips Tom the key to his cell, but his escape does not last long; he is caught and is executed on the spot.  Gwen is, how you say, upset or something.  There’s a lot of over-the-top screams, that’s all I know.

Morgana, the new voice of reason and outrage, raises her objections to Uther, who responds by throwing her in the dungeon for the night.  While Morgana sulks, Gwen is threatened by Tauren to get the stone back, otherwise he’ll kill her in two days.  The next morning Gwen tells newly-released Morgana about her attack by Tauren.  Morgana takes the stone and goes to meet Tauren in Gwen’s place.

In the woods, Tauren freaks her out.  Thankfully, Merlin follows her and overhears her tell Tauren that she is also an enemy of the king and wants him dead.  Struggling with what to do, Merlin seeks counsel from the Great Dragon, who would be pleased as punch to let Uther and the ban on magic die.  Merlin still doesn’t like this answer, even though the dragon makes some good points about tyranny and all.

Merlin broods over his difficult decision and yet Morgana appears to offer a reconciliation with Uther.  They agree to meet at her father’s grave the next morning, where Uther breaks down remembering Morgana’s father and his loyalty.  Merlin decides he must save Uther and heads to the grave with the magical staff.  Morgana is touched by Uther’s words and changes her mind when Tauren appears.  Uther and Tauren struggle until Morgana creeps up and stabs Tauren dead.  Merlin and his staff, while effective against some redshirts, are irrelevant.

INTERMISSION

Arthur, Merlin, and their hunting party discover some weird creature that was the product of a cobra, turtle, jaguar, and Megalon fourgy.  They run but Merlin learns from Camelot’s favorite quizmaster Gaius that the creature is a Questing Beast.  We (and Merlin) also learn that the creature last appeared before Uther’s wife (and Arthur’s mother) died, and Uther orders the creature be killed the next morning.  During that fight, though, Arthur is bitten by the creature, Merlin uses magic to kill the beast, and he drags Arthur back to Gaius for treatment.  Merlin again uses magic to save Arthur–racing against time before Uther arrives and over Gaius’s objections.  But as we’ve heard all season, it is Merlin’s destiny to save and protect Arthur.

Uther is not as optimistic and has a breakdown in the middle of court as Arthur’s body is dragged away.  Are we going to have another Denethor-Faramir not-dead-yet thing?  Ponder that reference while Merlin goes to the Great Dragon for counsel.  Because Arthur is only mostly dead, there’s still hope that Merlin can get him some of that Old-Time Religion on the Isle of the Blessed.  Gaius thinks it is a waste because the old religion people will simply trade Arthur’s life for another life.  And since Gaius objects, Merlin is certain to go on this quest.

At the Isle, Merlin receives from Nimueh the cup of life (a/k/a the Holy Grail), which will save Arthur if he drinks water from the cup.  He agrees to exchange his life for Arthur’s and leaves with the holy water.  Upon his return, he gives Arthur the water and Gaius makes up a story about what the substance really is, i.e., that it’s not magical.  In a creepier moment of the episode, trance-like Morgana tells Merlin, “Neither shall live while the other survives,” or something–I wasn’t paying much attention.  Anyway, Arthur wakes up and appears fully recovered enough to have awkward flirty banter with Gwen.

That night we see a figure sulking about the castle.  In the morning, Merlin discovers it was his mother and she is collapsed on the floor, dying.  Angered by some perceived deception by the deceptive Nimueh, Merlin yells at the Great Dragon.  The Dragon doesn’t take too kindly to this and tries to attack Merlin, after Merlin doesn’t want to hear another speech about his destiny.  Merlin tells the Dragon to rot and stomps out.

To save his mother’s life, Merlin wants to go back to the Isle to give his life to Nimueh.  Before he can go, Gaius sneaks out and leaves a note saying he’s old and will sacrifice himself for Merlin. Naturally, Merlin follows (after telling Arthur he’ll be a good king and to not be a prat–wise words, indeed).  In the final confrontation on the Isle, Merlin and Nimueh battle after Gaius apparently dies.  Merlin conjures lightening and strikes Nimueh dead.  Since she’s fulfilled the wergeld in this medieval equation, Gaius comes back to life and the Dragon throws a hissy fit.

Our season ends with another prophetic dream from Morgana, which means there’s a season two of this show.  With luck, NBC won’t pick it up even as a summer program.  And as I’ve said all along, if a LOTR-loving, medieval history studying, Renaissance Faire going person like me can’t get into this show, Camelot is truly dead, and with a 0.9 and 1.1 rating (that’s 0.9 and 1.1 percent of all households watched the show) on a major network, that’s pretty accurate.

For another take on this episode, check out The Grand Finale by Stephanie Jaar.

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 1, Episodes 12 & 13: To Kill the King & Le Morte d’Arthur (aired August 23, 2009)

For more on Merlin, click here.

Sundays at 8/7c on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Nick Briggs

Merlin: The Grand Finale

To Kill the King

Gwen’s father, Tom, is in deep trouble. Another unwanted sorcerer has entered Camelot and is using Tom to help him with his evil deeds unbeknownst to Tom who just thinks he’s taking part in some sort of experiment and being paid a pretty penny for it. By the time Tom senses he’s in danger, it’s too late. He has already helped Tauren the sorcerer turn liquid into gold with the use of a powerful alchemy stone and the guards come to crash their party.

Tauren manages a quick getaway, but Tom is not as lucky and is arrested.

Meanwhile, Merlin wakes up in the night while all this is happening because he can feel powerful magic being used in Camelot. This boy’s powers know no bounds.

When word reaches Morgana over what has happened, she’s furious. It’s clear she’s very sensitive about Tom’s arrest, not only because of her friendship with Gwen, but also because it must be bringing back memories of what it was like to lose her own father. She pleads with Uther not to kill Tom, but he’s merciless.

Morgana then returns to the scene of the crime looking for Gwen, only to find the alchemy stone used by Tauren. She takes it back to her room and then goes to free Tom from prison by stealing the key. Tom manages to escape, but he doesn’t get very far before the guards catch up to him and Uther commands he is killed on the spot. Morgana is beside herself when she finds out and gets a smart mouth with Uther. So smart, in fact, that she gets thrown in the dungeons for the night.

Since last week’s episodes, we see that Morgana has really been coming into her own and is a force to be reckoned with. She is especially proving that in this episode. It only gets better!

We also see that Uther is executing anybody known to have aided Tauren while he was in Camelot. Even if they didn’t know he was a sorcerer or who he was, that automatically makes them guilty. It just goes to show the extent of Uther’s paranoia.

Gwen finally returns home after the death of her father, but is instead accosted by Tauren who wants his precious stone back. Poor Gwen has no idea what’s going on, but Morgana knows exactly what he’s talking about and she has a plan. Morgana goes to find Tauren in the forest and pledges her allegiance to his cause of bringing down Uther. Together they concoct a plan to kill the King.

Merlin saw Morgana leaving the Castle and followed her to her meeting with Tauren, overhearing everything. He goes to confer with the dragon about what he’s heard. The dragon tells Merlin to stay out of it and let Uther die. The dragon keeps getting weirder and weirder with each passing episode.

The plan is for Morgana to lure Uther to her father’s grave and, when he least expects it, Tauren will come out of hiding in the forest and kill the King. Uther is under the impression it will be a chance to reconnect with Morgana.

Merlin manages to convince himself that it’s best to let Uther die until he asks Gwen for her opinion. If she had the opportunity to kill Uther, would she? “No. What would that solve? That would make me a murderer. That would make me as bad as him,” she says. Leave it up to Gwen to speak words of common sense.

So then Merlin disobeys the dragon again and is off to stop Tauren and Morgana before Uther is killed. At the gravesite, Uther makes himself very open and vulnerable in front of Morgana. He speaks very highly of her father, about how much he cares for her like a daughter, and admits to regret for killing Tom. Morgana realizes she’s making a grave mistake and warns Uther before Tauren can strike. Tauren and Uther fight to kill each other until Morgana steps in, kills Tauren and saves Uther.

All together now: Awwwwwww!

Merlin’s help, meanwhile, was really not necessary. See Merlin? LISTEN TO THE DRAGON! Even if he is a little weird and creepy 99% of the time. I always hoped the dragon would be a wise and sage presence in Merlin’s life, but I guess that’s what Gaius is there for.

Le Morte d’Arthur

Another mythical creature has come into Camelot, but this time it’s not as nice as that unicorn. Gaius warns Uther of the danger of this beast – one bite has the ability to kill a person – and that it is a bad omen. Coincidentally, the Questing Beast, as it is called, was last seen the night Uther’s wife died. But Uther doesn’t follow superstitions anymore, so he sends Arthur off to go kill the creature.

Gaius isn’t the only one with a warning- Morgana has just had another one of her prophetic dreams and is in complete hysterics begging Arthur not to go. This warning goes on deaf ears, also.

Merlin and Arthur find the Beast and fight a battle which ends with Arthur fatally wounded and Merlin killing the beast by magic. Arthur’s already been knocked out by the beast at this point, so the secret is still safe.

Merlin is desperate to save Arthur, but nothing is working. No form of magic seems to do the trick, and Gauis’s medicines will not work either. The Questing Beast is from the Old Religion, and Merlin must travel to the Isle of the Blessed to speak with the sorcerer there who turns out to be our old friend Nimueh. It is not possible for Arthur to live without someone taking his place in death. Merlin is willing to sacrifice himself, of course.

And now begins the game of who lives and who dies.

Merlin makes a bargain with Nimueh for his own life so Arthur may be spared. Arthur must drink special water from a special cup, which he does upon Merlin’s return to Camelot, and huzzah! He’s alive! However, Merlin is not the one who death has come for…his mother shows up in Camelot deathly ill and Merlin is angry that Nimueh did not follow their bargain (she also realizes Merlin’s importance and does not want him dead).

Merlin is about to head back to the Isle of the Blessed, but Gaius beats him to the chase. Gaius is ready to sacrifice himself so both Merlin and his mother live. Nimueh obliges and Gaius is close to death when Merlin arrives and starts battling it out with Nimueh. Using his powers like he’s never done before, Merlin kills Nimueh and ta-da! Gaius is saved! Not to mention Arthur, Merlin, and Merlin’s mother.

Other small things to note from this episode: Gwen taking care of Arthur when he was unconscious and giving a cute little speech about how he has to live and that he’ll be a great King one day. When Arthur wakes up, he tells Gwen he remembers everything she said, but Gwen becomes incredibly flustered and denies saying those things. It’s really cute and hopefully there will be more interaction between these two next season! Aside from her prophetic dream, Morgana stayed much more in the sidelines compared to last episode. It’s definitely hinted at, though, that there’s something going on with her, but we’ll have to wait to find out what it is.

All in all, I’m so glad I discovered this show! It was great Sunday night entertainment with interesting characters and fun stories. I do hope, however, that the show’s production team is given a bigger budget for their CGI effects and that Gwen gets more screen time. I did feel that she was a very underused character. As for Merlin and his secret – I doubt Arthur will discover it anytime soon, but it was great this season to see Merlin become more confident in his magical powers, so there’s another thing that will be interesting to see continue to develop in season 2.

I’m very eagerly looking forward to the next season and I do hope that NBC airs it next summer. Rumor has it that season two will begin airing next month in England…where’s my plane ticket?!

For another take on this episode, check out You Won’t See Me Again by J.B. Perlow.

Season 1, Episodes 12 & 13: To Kill the King & Le Morte d’Arthur (aired August 23, 2009)

For more on Merlin, click here.

Sundays at 8/7c on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Nick Briggs

Comic-Con 2009: Dollhouse

Joss Whedon is a prick.

Joss Whedon, master of television, movies, comic books, and the internet, is a self-proclaimed “prick” and gave evidence to prove it during the Whedon/Dollhouse panel at Comic-Con.

1. He is not good at dealing with people because he is too busy playing in the “avatar world” he is living in.

2. He cast Alan Tudyk (Firefly) as the evil Alpha because he has “met him.”

3. He has never seen an episode of Lost because he and his fellow writers (aka “brains in jars”) are too busy making television.

4. The characters you know and love are subject to the whims of fate and physics, as they occasionally decide on storylines by using dartboards with characters and story ideas (such as “has sex,” “is a doll,” “is killed,” and “is wiped”) on them.

5. When Eliza Dushku admitted to their fans that the show did not find its groove until halfway through the season, Whedon said he did not like fans as much as she did and promised that Dollhouse would be okay as long as they do not send anyone to feudal Japan.

5 Things to Know About Season 2 of Dollhouse

1. The events in “Epitaph 1,” the unaired 13^th episode, are real.

The episode did not become obsolete when the show “accidentally forgot to get cancelled.” “Epitaph 1″ showed our heroes and anti-heroes living in a post-Apocalyptic future where massive groups of people are being imprinted against their will and turned into an army of killers, the Reaver-like Butchers.  A ragtag group of survivors, including Mag (Felicia Day), Zone (Zach Ward), and Iris (Adair Tishler), stumble upon the nearly abandoned Dollhouse and soon realize that the imprinting technology began there.

As they go through the previous inhabitants’ memories, we learned, among other things, that Echo (Dushku) began working with Ballard (Tahmoh Penikett) and was remembering more than she should and that Topher ‘s (Fran Kranz) scientific breakthrough was what led to the technology going out of control.  He suffered a mental breakdown when he realized what he had done.  Whedon said that we need to question what we thought we saw because what we saw were memories and that the events might have been interpreted differently than what actually occurred.

2. There will be recognizable faces both in front of and behind the cameras.

Mag, Zone, and Tiny Caroline/Iris from “Epitaph 1” will be in the season premiere.  Alexis Denisof (Buffy, Angel) will also guest star in a few episodes, during which time Echo “will take a blade to him.”  They are also trying to finalize Summer Glau (Firefly, Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles) and it has recently been reported that Battlestar Galactica stars Jamie Bamber and Michael Hogan will be appearing early in the season.  Behind the scenes, Michele Fazekas and Tara Butters, the creators of Reaper, have been added to the staff of Dollhouse and comics artist John Cassaday will direct one episode this season.

3. The Dolls disfigured by Alpha will not be written out of the show.

The season premiere starts the week after Alpha escapes from Echo.  Whedon suggested that Victor (Enver Gjokaj) “might get better quickly” and Whiskey (Amy Acker), who is unscarred in “Epitaph 1,” will still be coming to terms with the realization that she is a Doll.

4. Dollhouse will continue to deal with social and ethical issues in Season 2.

For instance, a large part of the season will explore the abuse of power, ways people do that, and how manipulation is used to control everything.  The show will also deal with ethical issues, like the possibility that vegetative people could live out their lives as Dolls.

5. There may be another mole in the Dollhouse.

“Worry all the time about everything,” Whedon warned.  “No one can be trusted in Dollhouse.”

Bonus

Fans of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (and “Once More, With Feeling,” the Buffy musical) have reason to be excited, as Whedon hinted that there may be another musical on the way.  He and the other writers loved it too much to let it go.

Panelists: Joss Whedon, Eliza Dushku, Dichen Lachman, Fran Kranz

Dollhouse returns to Fox on September 25 at 9/8c.

For more on Comic-Con, click here.

For more on Dollhouse, click here.

Photographs courtesy of Poptimal.com and taken by Ayang.

Real Housewives of Atlanta: Eh, You Can’t Win ‘Em All

If this week’s episode of Real Housewives was a Jeopardy category, it would be called Potpourri, as in “I’d like random unrelated Potpourri for $800, Alex.” Damn, I guess the producers had nothing better to work with so they tied a bunch of odds and ends together into 1 hour of programming and the only common thread was the zip code. In any case, here’s what the ladies were up to when we last saw them.

Lisa, you’re still boring. Even with the whole impending trip back to LA to see her family that is steeped in drama because she hasn’t come to terms with the loss of her brother, I still don’t really get excited by her air time. Her own mom must be bored of her, too, because she didn’t even want to hang out with her alone – she insisted that Lisa bring NeNe along for the trip. See? Uninteresting. I’m curious to see what NeNe does next week though in a room full of vertically challenged Asian relatives, I don’t know about anyone else but I smell comedy a’ brewing…

Kim apparently shops at Crazy Nannies R’ Us because she fired her kids’ nanny after the girl left her kids all alone to go buy tampons. Um, ok – this story line was just bizarre, frankly. Also that nanny insulted her kids by telling them they were going to hell for mocking some prayer that Brielle said. If you’re going to insult her kids, I’m sure you could come up with something better than that – the fact that their mom wears a wig is reason enough to tease. Anyway, speaking of wigs, Kim also went to her ‘hairdresser’ (*coughs*) and got her faux locks styled. Is she ever going to lose the wig and show us what the Good Lord gave her? I doubt it. But that’s one episode I would definitely tune in for. Oh, and then Kim finally met Kandi and they bonded over both being totally irrelevant in the music business. Fine, Kandi’s only half irrelevant – at least I’ll give her that.

Prior to meeting Kim, Kandi met with a photographer and stylist to plan a photo shoot for her new album cover/press photos as well as some family pictures for her wedding announcement. After dragging her mom out of bed to come to the shoot (literally, what is it with her mom anyway? Lady gives me the heebie jeebies), her mother refused to pose in a picture with her soon to be son-in-law. Like I’ve said before, that wedding should be totally drama free. Apparently Momma isn’t a big fan of the fact that AJ impregnated half of Atlanta prior to meeting Kandi. Details, details.

NeNe spent most of her time with Dwight this week, which I of course approve of entirely. First they went to the nail salon, then he came to her King Tut exhibit cocktail party/preview, and then they topped it off with some fabric shopping for her new house where they made fun of everyone they knew. Love it. Speaking of her party, NeNe thought (read: the producers suggested) that it would be a good idea to put all of the ladies into one room together even after they almost drew blood last time to see a preview of the exhibit and get a steady level of buzzed while they’re at it. Nothing says culture like open bar, kids. Maybe the producers thought since their kids would all be there it would discourage any physical fighting – but we all saw what happened with those New Jersey chicks and the table flipping when their kids were present, so I’d say they took a big risk this time. Nothing really exciting happened though, despite the potential for blow up. Basically Sheree and Lisa made fun of everyone and then Dwight showed us that despite his lovely backup singers, he can’t sing to save his life. It’s alright Dwight; you’re still fabulous even if you’re vocally challenged. Oh, and that’s the only time we saw or heard from Sheree all episode, which suited me just fine.

This is usually the part where I’d put in some sarcastic musings about the action this week, only there wasn’t really any. All in all it was a snore-fest, so I’ll save my good material for a good episode. Deal? Deal.

Season 2, Episode 4: Mummies, Mommies and Baby Mommas (originally aired August 20, 2009)

For more on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Wilford Harewood

Entourage: Now We’re Talkin’

After running at half speed all season (with the exception of last week’s episode), the boys are finally back to their rightful place in the non-crappy television universe. Welcome back, guys. But, it seems they have Bob Saget to thank for their good fortune, and let me just say this – he is Danny Tanner no more. Here’s how the last show shook out, Entourage fans.

Vinnie Chase is a huge wuss, which he confirmed to all of us when he and his naked friend heard a noise in his house and he came scrambling back upstairs to hide like a little girl after “investigating” the sound. Even Arnold, the world’s worst attack dog, seemed to shake his head in disgust at Vince’s cowardly retreat. When the cops came, they didn’t seem overly alarmed – but Vince and Turtle did after finding out all of their underwear was stolen by the would-be intruder. Stealing a man’s drawers? That’s creepy, folks. So, naturally they hit the gun shop to afford themselves some extra protection and then found out they had a mandatory waiting period until they could go all Al Capone on any trespassers. Then they looked at some large and imposing knives and decided that they’ll just play Crocodile Dundee in the meantime. Turtle’s pot smoking paranoia scene where he thinks he sees someone in the trees outside their house might be the funniest thing ever – you knew that weed fetish would come back and haunt you one day, Turtle. And speaking of Turtle…

Exceedingly grateful to Johnny Drama for protecting the honor of his girlfriend Jamie-Lynn, Turtle tells Drama that although his boss is a certifiable scumbag he needs to do whatever it takes to keep his job – even if it means groveling. Drama then picks up the world’s biggest gift basket and high tails it to the set to apologize after hearing that his scenes were cancelled. Lucky for him, his security guard is easily bribed by baked goods and allowed him access to his sleazy boss’ office. Then Drama, after unsuccessfully trying to get Jamie-Lynn to wear a wire and get Coakley to confess to being a potty mouth, decides that it’s better just to do it himself – only he botches the job thanks to his conspicuous iPhone recording device (priceless, by the way). The boss winds Drama up a little but ultimately decides that the only thing better than firing him would be to keep him on and torture him relentlessly. I don’t like the man, but I have to say I like his style. But, if his threats are anything like Ari’s threats to Lloyd to earn his stripes then I’d say the punishment will be decidedly lame. I’m still waiting for that story line to get good, by the way – at least Lloyd got 30 seconds of air time, though.

By far the best story line of the show went to the wee agent Eric, who polished his loafers and put on his best sweater for his first day as a big boy manager at Murray Berenson’s office. I’d have to say E has an overall badass first day at work – he got a super hot secretary (please please start dating her so that Ashley the rodent doesn’t return next episode), a shiny new office and he even scores a new client – Bob Saget, much to the chagrin of his fellow agent played by Scott Caan. Caan’s performance as the world’s biggest A-hole is pitch perfect, and even as he threatened E that Saget was his client and he wouldn’t share him, I found his greasy arrogance charming. Scott’s character (and why isn’t he playing himself, by the way? He’s recognizable enough…) quickly finds out that Saget and E go way back and Bob cuts right to the chase with his boy Eric to tell him what it’ll take to add him to the client roster. This is the part where my head nearly exploded; it was simultaneously amazing and also devastating to hear the object of my childhood nostalgia talk about blowing lines of cocaine off his girlfriend’s ass. All it’ll take, he says, is for him to, um, make use of Murray Berenson’s private office with his lady friend – and while Caan recoils when E tells him Saget’s demand, E decides to loop Murray in and seal the deal. Then Murray says he wants a cleaning crew with Haz-Mat suits on to come do damage control after Saget leaves. Kidding.  Not really.

A few things stuck out in this episode, thus making it the strongest one this season so far. First of all, the banter was pure entertainment – when Ari sent E a stack of pizzas at his new office as a reward for moving further away from his pizza delivery guy roots and then E retaliates by sending a sex toy to Ari, I was positively gleeful. That’s the kind of shtick they’ve been missing lately. Drama’s story line was also hysterical and the Bob Saget thing was just the icing on the cake. I mean, I have known that he was a foul-mouthed dirt bag prior to now from his earlier Entourage and un-Full House-related television appearances, but something about hearing him fling the ‘F’ word around made me sad for DJ, Stephanie and Michelle Tanner. In any case, that shizz was just plain funny and also long overdue. The fact that the show ended with Drama bringing over some (illegal) guns to his baby bro and the boys accidentally shooting out a window seems like foreshadowing to me, but honestly who really cares? Just keep the good episodes coming, and well done this week.

For another take on this episode, Tanya Lane’s review here.

Season 6, Episode 7: No More Drama (originally aired August 23, 2009)

For more Entourage, click here.

Sundays at 10pm ET/PT on HBO

Photographs courtesy of www.imdbpro.com

Project Runway: Attack of the Disco Soccer Balls

Oh, welcome back, kids! It’s time, finally, for another season of Project Runway. And though this first episode, in a new city and with a very special guest, won’t blow our minds with Awesomeness, how great is it to have our show back? No, I’m not a fan of these new work rooms, but I’ll deal with it. Same thing with the really weird close ups during judging (who’s running the camera there? The same guy doing Kelly Choi’s voiceovers? Oh no, wait! No more Bravo!). I’m willing to take the good with the bad, because Project Runway is just a ridiculous good time.

And so, sixteen new designers, one of whom will go home today. No one more surprised than me that almost everyone seems to have talent.  Here we go:

Ra’mon, 30, who chose fashion over completing his degree to become a neurosurgeon. I feel there’s more to this story than we’re very casually told.

Logan, 25, a model-esque and pretty “guy’s guy.” He says. Very handsy.

Jonny, 29, a recovered crystal meth addict who tried out for PR three times.

Gordana, 44, from the former Yugoslavia, representing girls with big dreams who have to start with small steps. Holla, y’all.

Qristyl, 41, the big Question mark. She comes off like a mom who’s kind of dabbling, and her previous designs (based on what we’re shown) do not look attractive. But she designs for all shapes, sizes, and colors. So maybe (hopefully) there’s more to her.

Shirin, 23, whose name means “sweet” in Farsi, in case you needed to know. She’s super adorable and designs Transformer clothes -  as in clothes that transform from one thing to another.

Nicholas, 26, the Feather Prince from New York City. I don’t think I need to elaborate, but he name drops a bit.

Mitchell, 25, knows what a woman likes, what fits a woman, and what sells. Glad to see everyone’s egos are under control already.

Christopher, 29, from Minnesota. He never had the opportunity to go to design school. He shall repeat this many times, so do not forget.

Ari, 25, who also works with transformative clothing. She’s dressed normally when she arrives, but that changes the next day.

Althea, 23, (what’s with all the young’uns?) who has interning experience and looks like a Barbie doll. I know that’s not her fault, but nor should she brag about being an intern.

Irina, 26, also super cute. She owns a poodle. It’s not my fault, that’s what they’re showing me here.

Carol Hannah, 23, who goes by both names, dresses people who are woodland fairies and go to galas.

Epperson, 49, a family man who has a history of dressing windows, but he’s now pursuing his fashion.

Louise, 31, our new vintage queen. Hopefully less annoying than Kenley.

Malvin, 23, has an androgynous look and androgynous tastes. He looks a little like Orlando Bloom and talks in a very sing-songy, floaty voice. All the time. Seriously.

There’s the necessary cocktails to kick things off, and the next day, Tim (we’ve missed you, Tim!) meets the gang at the red carpet of the Emmys, set to kick off in a few hours. The challenge: to create an innovative red carpet look. The outfit can apply to any red carpet event, from the Oscars to the VMAs. They have $200 and two days to work. Jonny insists he will push himself to the limit.

This season’s Parsons: FIDM.

Malvin doesn’t watch these events and doesn’t “differentiate between different colored carpets.” Oh brother. Ari, in her multicolored cowled bodysuit and shorts, does not sketch. She does, however, meditate and do handstands. I have no issue with anyone’s creative process, but she wasn’t kooky yesterday when she arrived. Cameras sure do seem to bring out the best in people, don’t they? Mitchell insists that the greater the pressure, the happier he is, and he’ll produce something beautiful. Remember that.

Ra’mon says that having someone walk down the red carpet in one of his dresses is a lifelong dream … except, I guess, when he was planning to be a neurosurgeon. Jonny starts questioning his original design and falls back on his addiction mentality the more and more flustered he becomes. He doesn’t seem to be playing drama queen with his history, but maybe this kind of situation isn’t the best, with all this pressure, for someone recovering from such a heavy drug. He has a mental collapse, basically. Althea smiles her way through an interview that she hopes he can deal with his stress and pull through. I don’t think she’s being catty – I think she can’t help but smile (see: Barbie). Jonny considers leaving the show.

Let me spare you the tears I had to watch: the drugs become an excuse, Jonny cries, Tim talks him into staying, and Jonny eventually returns to the room to “make it work.” I don’t mean to belittle what is possibly a very serious struggle – but I don’t want to watch this every week either. If you’re not ready to be in heavy competition like this, don’t be here.

Mitchell found his love of fashion by watching red carpet events, so you’d think he’d have the design part of this challenge down. Malvin claims that there’s no vocabulary to describe the work that he does. Words like “dress,” and “colorful” and “polished,” presumably, will not apply to him. Christopher laments that he doesn’t know the terms and technical aspects of design since he never went to school, but who needs that?

Tim Time. Christopher’s young, funky dress is polished and sophisticated, but potentially “cruise line cocktail waitress.” Tim fears Ari’s dress will “look like a halter diaper.” Oh, Tim. Mitchell creates a sheer, slightly colorful Victorian dress that shows zero skin. I’d love to know who he thinks would wear this dress. While the construction looks good, Tim worries about how dated the piece is. Qristyl’s dress leaves Tim somewhat speechless.

The models arrive, and Mitchell’s model doesn’t match the sizes and specifications he originally received. He worries, and throws something together the day of the show. Basically, a sheer caftan with a Victorian collar.

Runway! Guest judge…Lindsay Lohan! Don’t think less of me for liking her. She was awesome in The Parent Trap. And she’s actually very good here!

Althea: Pretty, simple. Gordana: light blue mini, very cute. Malvin: Is that linen? Wait, we can’t use vocabulary like “linen” or “tan” to describe his work, right? Mitchell: AWFUL. Louise: Simple, pretty, shiny. Christopher: Cute, modern, very the-stars-of-High-School-Musical on the red carpet. Is that a real category? Ra’mon: Navy, beautiful, been done before. On this show. Shirin: Cute, a little conservative. Epperson: Violet, slightly couture, classy. Irina: Pale, light, pretty. Ari: Cool and modern. Not red carpet. Jonny: Almost sexy, lack of shape. Carol Hannah: Couture. Qristyl: A purple and floral piece of WTF? Logan: Two-tone gray, very simple, done before. Nicolas: Simple black dress.

Safe: Shirin, Epperson, Gordana, Carol Hannah, Logan, Althea, Nicholas, Irina, Malvin, and Louise.

Judges. First, let me say I don’t agree with most of the judges’ choices. Gordana and Irina should have made the top three. Their construction alone deserved more notice, but hopefully, this means good things to come from them.

Qristyl thinks that Lindsay Lohan would wear her dress, and I can’t think of anyone under the age of 40 even considering it. She calls it youthful, which I don’t see. Lindsay says the back is beautiful, but Heidi says the front is a mess and Kors tells her the tabloids will kill the woman wearing this piece. He’s so, so right. Lindsay doesn’t love the ruffles at the bottom of Christopher’s dress, but everyone loves the textured top layer, and Kors calls it “cute and edgy.” Heidi likes Ra’mon’s dress, and though Kors likes it also, he tells Ra’mon to stop playing it safe and step up.

Ari describes her dress as “red carpet 2080” and then “she” can go pick up her Nobel peace prize in the same night. Whaaaaat? Kors says the model looks like a disco soccer ball. He’s not wrong. The outfit (with shorts) might work for a different challenge (I don’t hate it), but in Ari’s attempt to be “off the wall,” she missed the point of the challenge. Ari’s wearing another crazy print today, and I feel she’s really turning it up for the cameras. There can be only one Kenley, my dear. The judges all love Jonny’s dress, even the weird silhouette that removes all shape from the front of the body. I just don’t get it. Mitchell explains his model screw up. Nina, for some reason, says that the caftan shows an “attitude” and she’s curious about what else he can do. Huh? Where does she see attitude? In the underwear you can see the model wearing?

Deliberation goes much the same way with many of the same comments. So bring the designers back out! Between Christopher and Ra’mon, Christopher wins the challenge and immunity in the next round. Qristyl and Jonny are both safe, and Heidi tells Mitchell there are no excuses on Project Runway. Except for tonight, because between Ari and Mitchell, Ari’s completed, crazy outfit loses out to Mitchell’s unfinished, unwearable sheer nightgown. I’m not sure I agree with this elimination either, but Ari would have grated everyone’s nerves (including mine), so I don’t feel too bad.

Isn’t it great to be back???

Next week: Celebrities and surprises, and Heidi can’t sew!

For another take on this episode, check out Bless Your Heart, Ari by J.B. Perlow.

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 6, Episode 1: Welcome to Los Angeles! (Originally aired August 20, 2009)

For more on Project Runway, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm EST on Lifetime

Photographs courtesy of Lifetime and IMDbPro

Top Chef: We’ve Been Pucked

Is it too early to say I’m not going to like this season? What if I said I didn’t like it after only seeing the 60 second preview? Sibling rivalries? Cancer survivors? Las Vegas, monetary rewards, award winners and ego-driven executive chefs? You know I like my petty little dramas, but if we’re going to turn into America’s Next Top Model with this additional nonsense, then I’d like to see some better eye candy. Aren’t there chefs out there who look like Jason Statham?

No? Sigh. Then let’s get to it.

Yes, Top Chef has moved to Sin City, and we’re off with seventeen new contestants and a gazillion new tattoos (I guess there’s no street cred among chefs these days without some inkwork):

Kevin, James Beard Award Nominee, ditched a full scholarship to MIT to become a chef.

Preeti, who looks and reacts to everything like a twelve year old boy.

Eve from Michigan, star struck by things like “big cities” and big vocabularies. Wait for it.

Mattin, from France and now San Francisco. He wears a kerchief, and is not nearly as adorable as Hubert.

Eli, the fat kid from Atlanta. His description, not mine. Don’t email me!

Ash, the gay man from New York.

Jennifer Zavala, superstitious mother who considers TC a “have-to,” not an opportunity. Which means she’s going to lose early, because people like that in a place like this? Reality television doesn’t care about hopes and dreams, sweetie.

Jennifer Carroll from Philadelphia. She calls herself a “bitch in the kitchen” who makes boys cry. She has a chip on her shoulder already and a permanent smirk.

Bryan, 2009 James Beard Award nominee from Maryland.  Who looks almost exactly like his brother…

Michael, 2006 Michelin Star Recipient. Bryan is older, and they look like twins and … Tony Hawk. I can’t tell them apart yet. It’s difficult to say that they like each other because they certainly don’t seem to. Michael calls Bryan the conservative one.

Then there’s Mike Isabella, 2009 “Rising Culinary Star” Nominee. And possibly the most sexist contestant we’ve had on this show in a long while. I bet he’s a fan of Rescue Me.

Also, Jesse, who has no formal training, Ron from Haiti, Hector, the 2009 James Beard Award Nominee, Ashley, Laurine, and Robin.

The chefs arrive at the kitchen in the M hotel and we see lots of GE appliances. That’s all the sponsor talk this show will get from me.

Quickfire. It’s Padma and Tom! I’ve missed you both. Kelly Choi will do that to a person. Padma introduces the Stardust showgirls, and really? Will we really have to put up with shtick like this all season? The chefs break into four teams of four for a seafood and rib eye mise en place relay race. We’re in Vegas where they don’t have knife blocks, so instead of drawing knives, the chefs reach into a top hat to pull out colored poker chips. Robin pulls out the lone gold chip – she will not compete in the Quickfire and also receives immunity in the Elimination Challenge. What the what? Lame!  The others divide up and pick their relay tasks.

The highlights of the relay: Preeti lets everyone pick their choice of seafood, and ends up with clams. Though she’s never shucked or opened a clam in her life. Way to stand up for yourself! Seriously, I do think she’s twelve. Zavala also runs into a clam problem for her team because she took time off to be a mom, and her technique is rusty. No word on if she’ll require stitches later. The real fight comes down to the two remaining teams – black and blue – who remain close throughout the race. What’s worth mentioning: Mike I goes up against Jennifer C to shuck the clams, and she’s as quick as he is, prompting this comment from Mike: “I look next to me, and Jennifer has, like the same amount of clams, and I’m like, I’m doing something wrong. There’s no way, no offense, but a girl shouldn’t be at the same level as I am.” Is this guy for real? He beats Jennifer C by only a clam or two.

Mattin (blue) out-lobsters Ashley (black), and then it’s Bryan (blue) versus Hector (black). Hector doesn’t agree with Bryan’s technique, but Bryan wins it for the blue team. Happily for me, Mike looks ready to punch a wall, but he lets it go.

Padma tells us that the Quickfire isn’t over, as we need to determine a single winner. Each member of the blue team will need to create a dish based on their protein from the relay race. Jesse worries because she’s never cooked with prawns before. Understandably, because that thing looks disgusting. The winner will not receive immunity because Robin pulled the gold chip. Therefore, the winner of the Quickfire will receive $15,000.

WHAT??? When did this become a game show? Where has your integrity gone, Top Chef? These people aren’t competing for prizes (you know, except the big, final one), they’re competing for reputation and opportunity. I realize we’re in Vegas, but is this the only way to liven things up?

Tom offers Robin the opportunity to cash in her immunity for a chance to compete in the Quickfire for the money. She declines, and so would I. Why risk going home so early? Trump would fire you for a bad choice like that. Mike, however, says that Robin isn’t confident in her skills, and that’s “one less old lady I have to worry about.”

So it’s Jennifer C vs. Jesse vs. Bryan vs. Mattin. Colicchio judges, and likes Mattin’s lobster and Bryan’s rib eye the least, and Carroll’s clam ceviche and Jesse’s prawns and grits as the top two. He chooses Jennifer C’s dish as the winner.

Elimination Challenge. Create a dish based on a personal vice. Each team will be competing internally, with one winner and one loser. Tonight’s eliminated chef will come from the losers’ bracket. Robin chooses to cook with the blue team.  Guest judge will be Wolfgang Puck.

The chefs head to Whole Foods and discuss their vices, which, among seventeen people, boils down to: alcohol, procrastination, hot tempers, alcohol, donuts, plastic surgery, cigar smoking, and alcohol. Two people don’t understand what vice means, and one person is Ron the immigrant, so okay. The other is Eve. She claims her vice is being overly complicated, which is a fault, not a vice. I guess things are a little slow in the Midwest.

Service. Guest judge: Chef Wolfgang Puck. Puck has a number of wonderful sound bites while praising and complaining about the food. I happen to know Puck is good television because I used to watch Las Vegas, and he was a sometimes guest star. I suddenly miss that show.

With four teams, there’s lots of middle-of-the-road dishes, so let’s stick with the winners and losers. The top four dishes come from Mike (olive oil poached halibut with eggplant puree), Ron (jerk bass with collard greens and Haitian hash), Jennifer C (poached halibut with whiskey, bacon, bourbon, scotch and black peppercorn sauce), and Kevin (arctic char with turnip salsa verde).

The bottom four dishes come courtesy of Hector (smoked rib eye with carrot puree and ceviche of celery), Jesse (braised chicken with whiskey reduction, yukon potatoes and egg), Jennifer Z  (chile relleno stuffed with seitan and tomatillo salsa), and Eve (shrimp and scallops in a curry cream sauce).

Judges’ Table. Mike showed experience and focus with great flavors, while Hector unnecessarily fried his steak and should have smoked it differently. Jennifer cooked a perfect piece of halibut, impressing especially Wolfgang Puck. Jesse overcooked her chicken, and the judges find it too dry to let go. She knows and understands exactly what went wrong. Ron cooked his fish well, though he tried too much with the dish. “There’s no flavor” to Jennifer Z’s dish, and the judges battle with her over whether she has any experience cooking that dish or using those ingredients (she claims she’s done both, often). Colicchio loves Kevin’s dish, and Wolfgang calls it “beautifully executed.” Everything about Eve’s dish was just “okay,” “bland,” and unbalanced.

Wolfgang announces the winner: Kevin. It’s early, but I think with his confidence and experience, Kevin’s going to be around a long time. As for the loser, it’s good-bye, Jennifer Z. I appreciate that just for the ease of having two Jennifers on the same show. Padma should pull a Tyra and force people with the same names to choose new nicknames. We could call Mike Isabella “Pig!”

And so, another season begins. After a second viewing, I’m only slightly more okay with the changes. I’m not a fan of the cash prizes, which feels like a cheap thrill in a show known for being better than other reality television shows. And what happens next season? Do they have to continue offering Quickfire prizes? Usually, once introduced, these kinds of things escalate. Will they start offering cars and stereo systems (I just laughed – who wins stereo systems anymore?), flat screen TVs and cruises? Honestly, this reminds me of the inane prizes people won on the Real World/Road Rules challenges. I mean, I love The Gauntlets and The Duels, but look at what that show is. The one thing about Top Chef (and divorcee, Project Runway) is that it relied solely on talent and didn’t fall back on gimmicks. Gratuitous product placement, yes, but this is very disappointing, and makes me worry not only for the future of the season, but of the show.

As for the contestants, we seem to have a mix of very experienced chefs and very nervous people. I think it’s too early to call if this will be a successful, enjoyable group. Though the chefs don’t show the early promise of last season’s group, they don’t seem as poorly cast as season 4. Hope remains.

This season on Top Chef: The Air Force, a western, Penn and Teller, Hubert (!), and temper tantrums!

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 6, Episode 1: Sin City Vice (originally aired August 19, 2009)

For more on Top Chef, click here.

Wednesdays at 10/9C, Bravo

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Trae Patton

Project Runway All-Star Challenge

Jaimie:  Welcome, Project Runway fans, to the Project Runway All-Star Challenge. In Lifetime’s bid to create a fan base, they’re milking their PR coup for every last drop of blood. Which includes this All-Star Challenge and show about the models. Since we don’t care about models, let’s talk about the All-Star Challenge! I have to say, I not only Enjoyed this, but I couldn’t wait to see it. A “Watch What Happens” feel, if you will.

J.B.: I don’t think we’re allowed to say that any more.

Jaimie:  What are they going to do, sue me? Yes they will!

J.B.:  I was skeptical at first but think it was a great success.

Jaimie: I looked forward to it because of the people coming back. These were all the top designers of their seasons. Except for Sweet P.

J.B.:  Just to recap the Challenge’s contestants, we had Daniel V and Santino from Season 2, Jeffrey (winner), Uli, and Mychael from Season 3, Chris and Sweet P from Season 4, and Korto from Season 5.

No one from Season 1, although I would have loved to see Austin and Kara Saun again.

Jaimie:  Good point. I’d have enjoyed that as well. Anyone you thought shouldn’t have been there/participated?

J.B.:  Mychael, maybe Sweet P before I saw her collection.  You?

Jaimie:  Jeffrey, because he won already, Sweet P, and Chris March.

J.B.:  Who would you have liked to see who wasn’t there?

Jaimie:  Kevin from Season 4. Jorel from Season 5, even. Andre, if only for the Santino/Daniel V dynamic.

J.B.:  None of these were good designers. I don’t even remember Kevin.

Jaimie:  Jorel was heading to interesting places with his work, but I admit I wasn’t his number one fan. Kevin, I always liked. He of the “She looks older than her 17 years” scarlet prom dress.

J.B.:  You mean Jerell?

Jaimie:  Yes! I meant Jerell, not Superman’s father.

J.B.:  I would have liked Nick Verreos (Season 2) to be on because he was sent home too early. But enough about our speculation, let’s get to the show.  How many were confused and thought Nicole Kidman was going to wear their red carpet outfit?

Jaimie:  That’s what I thought. Do I need to watch that again?

J.B.:  No, no. Ms. Kidman’s language was very clear that the outfit would be worn, probably by her assistant or something. Which good for Ms. Kidman.

Jaimie:  I did think it was crazy that she would commit to that before seeing the dresses.

J.B.:  Which is why she didn’t.

Jaimie:  So, here’s my question, and I’m jumping right to the end:

J.B.:  Why not!

Jaimie:  If Korto had created a more red carpet worthy dress, do you think she would have won over Daniel? Or … If Daniel hadn’t created such a cool red carpet dress (the only dress of his collection I liked) do you think he would have still won?

J.B.:  Both very good questions.  I couldn’t stand Daniel’s collection, with the exception of his red carpet dress, which wasn’t a red carpet dress really (even with Kors’s disclaimer that the only rule is there are no more rules). This is all longhand for saying I think Korto should have won. I also thought Uli should have been in the final four.

Jaimie:  For those who haven’t watched the show (heathens), Heidi challenged the designers to create a personal mini-collection of 3 cohesive looks, with one red carpet ready design. Later, an additional look was added, which required the use of “unconventional materials” (anything in the dining room of STK, following a nice dinner).

I agree with you completely. Though I also would have liked to see a few prints from Uli and agree that her collection “lost her spirit,” I really loved some of her pieces. I disliked Daniel’s, but I could see his red carpet dress at a movie premiere. Not the Oscars, but on a young Hollywood star at something less formal.

J.B.:  Recall that Daniel said it could be for the Adult Film Awards.

Jaimie:  With that hem, yes. That’s a Britney Spears, Saturday night dress.

J.B.:  See, here’s my issue with that, why did Uli get no credit for growing as a designer?  Everyone else did.

Jaimie: I think if Korto had glammed up her red carpet look, she would have won. Each of her dresses was beautiful, and I could see them on real women.

J.B.:  At least she was gracious in defeat…

Jaimie:  Ha! She was awful.

J.B.:  She made Uli look polite, which is saying something.

Jaimie:  No kidding. I understand the emotions, but you’re on television! Suck it up!

J.B.:  And why did Chris react the way he did at coming in fourth after he previously came in fourth?

Jaimie:  Because he was in a much better class this time. And what was with his sleeping through the entire episode?

J.B.:  Whatever, he beat out all the folks who were teasing him.  If he didn’t need the time, he didn’t need the time.

Jaimie:  He makes me want to go out and exercise. Which is not a crack about his weight, but more a note about his health. That can’t be good. I liked his collection, actually. Mostly.

J.B.:  Yes, but for the cowls I would have liked it more. I thought his red carpet was the best.

Jaimie: If it were winter. In the Swiss Alps.

J.B.:  Shut it!

Jaimie:  I liked the dress, but the gray and the plaid made it look like wool.

J.B.:  It was wool.

Jaimie: Well, there you go. That’s great for the LA premieres. You don’t see enough stars sporting heavy wool dresses these days.

J.B.:  Or covering their naughty bits.

Jaimie:  So we both agree about Korto. Any surprises about anyone’s collection? As you mentioned, I thought Sweet P pulled it out really well. As Heidi said, “it’s not for me,” but on other people, sure.

J.B.:  I liked how Heidi kept saying that. Oh and speaking of Heidi comments, I love when she talks about boobs fitting into outfits.  She got dizzy from Daniel’s, you know.

Jaimie:  I thought of you during that remark, don’t ask me why. But I agreed with her, again.

J.B.:  I’m not sure what to think of it. Let’s talk about the bottom four.

Jaimie:  Mychael, Uli, Jeffrey, Santino. Well, I thought Daniel should have been bottom 4. Except for Uli, I agree.

J.B.:  I never liked Jeffrey or his stuff (except when he made that mother cry–just for entertainment purposes only, he’s a jerk). Mychael made some great hot pants that one episode but that was it. Uli, well, at least she realizes she was so one-note now. Santino, good television still but I never understood his designs. But he has a good point, Sweet P doesn’t look a day over 52.

Jaimie:  I was disappointed by Mychael, because I liked him so much during Season 3. Before he choked! And he really didn’t impress here. Agreed, Santino is good TV, but that guy’s ego is so ridiculous. I know Jeffrey likes to push buttons, but Santino was all about whoring it up for the cameras. He might be that much of a jerk privately, but I think he played it up for TV, and I don’t enjoy watching that nonsense. Though his Tim impression is still very good.

J.B.:  Well they placed where they should have, even though you know that won’t impact their egos. I’m still waiting for a sequel to Dinner with Andrae, featuring Santino playing all of the parts at Red Lobster.

Jaimie:  Yes! What did you think about the return to innovation challenge?

J.B.:  I liked that challenge, just because it’s fun to see people destroy a room.

Jaimie: I enjoyed it because we got some great, interesting designs out of it. Favorite outfit?

J.B.: I really liked Chris’s red carpet outfit. I thought Santino’s red carpet look was also good, even if it was a little too Solid Gold.

Jaimie:  I didn’t love Santino’s red carpet. I liked Korto’s restaurant/innovation dress, and agree that could/should have been her red carpet look. I also liked Uli’s innovation dress a lot.

J.B.:  On balance do you think this show was a good idea?

Jaimie: Definitely. I really enjoyed it, thought the people that came in were a good mix of drama queens and talent. Except for Chris’s naps, they were professional while being competitive. And they produced some really interesting work. Disappointed, once again, that Korto didn’t win.

J.B.:  All right, that’s all the time we have for now.  I need to get ready for my audition for Tim Gunn & The Cold Dark Hearts.

Jaimie:  Just don’t grow Jeffrey’s rock star mustache.

J.B.:  You mean porn star!  I expected a t-shirt saying, “Mustache rides, $1.” For more Project Runway coverage, Jaimie and I will be reviewing and recapping the new season of Project Runway here on Poptimal.com.

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Project Runway All-Star Challenge (originally aired August 20, 2009)

For more on Project Runway, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm EST on Lifetime

Photographs courtesy of Lifetime

Project Runway: Bless Your Heart, Ari

Many rounds of litigation later, we finally have the sixth season of Project Runway on its new home, Lifetime, and its new location, Los Angeles (in the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, or FIDM).

Let’s meet our designers.  First up, Ra’mon the former med student, then Logan (Matthew Lillard’s stunt double), and Johnny who didn’t get on two former seasons because of his former meth addiction. Speaking of formers, Gordana is formerly from the potatoes and corn raising former Yugoslavia.  Malvin introduces a dash of androgyny and hair that makes Christian Siriano’s look conservative.  Carol Hannah works with pixies and woodland fairies or something, Qristyl designs for all sizes but the photos just look like colorful muumuus, and Shirin (dolce in Farsi)  makes multipurpose clothes.  Then we have Feather Prince Nicolas, Mitchell who knows what women like, and single-named Epperson (meaning he’ll either be really good or a diva).  Finally, we meet Christopher of Minnesota who will someday be amazing (and apparently this is his “someday”), Ari who wants clothing with water filtration systems, Althea whose intro moved too fast for me to write anything down, Irina’s dog-inspired totes, and Louise Black of the (hopefully) Kenley-free 1920s.

They all convene on the roof for the annual champagne toast with Heidi Klum and the distinguished and very handsome man, Tim Gunn.  The next morning they will join Tim for their first challenge.

Welcome to the next morning!  The designers arrive at the red carpet of the 60th Annual Emmy Awards (so this was filmed in September 2008).  Their first challenge is to create a red carpet look representing their point of view as a designer.  These “point of view” challenges either go really well for people or are total disasters.  As this is the first episode, I’m expecting more disasters.

Tim escorts them to the design room with windows.  Already, they’re at a huge advantage over former contestants who used to work in the sensory-deprived rooms of Parsons.  As I admire the new set, Ari interrupts to say her model has “got big feet like me.” (“Yeeaaaah,” says Tim.)  Oh she’s going to be a fun one, as she announces she doesn’t sketch, opting instead to do a headstand before they head to an annex of Mood to pull fabrics.  And before Qristyl cuts someone with scissors, they head back to FIDM and freak out.  Johnny is so overwhelmed he steps out to contemplate whether he’ll continue in the competition.  Enter Tim for a “very special moment” as he talks Johnny off of the figurative ledge.  Hugs!  Johnny gets his head back in the game and life goes on.

Tim’s Review.  He meets with Christopher who just throws words out there, and Tim thinks he needs more style to avoid the cruise cocktail waitress motif.  With Ari, she’s designed a Buckyball-style dress, which Tim thinks is a halter diaper.  Ra’mon and Tim talk about big butts (and they don’t lie!), and then Tim all but calls Mitchell’s work, “dated.”  Qristyl enjoys one of Tim’s long awkward pauses and then the models rush in for the fitting.  At this point, I’ll mention Lifetime is airing a new Runway-related show, Models of the Runway, which tells each weekly episode from the perspective of the models.  I suppose that’s interesting, but who wants to see the furniture talk, right?  Right?!?

Morning of the Runway Show.  Mitchell’s in trouble because his model is too large for his outfit and he has to design it with minimal fabric.  Tim introduces the return of the Macy’s Accessory Wall, plus the L’Oreal Paris Makeup Room and the Garnier Hair Studio (replacing the Tresemme Hair Studio, ooh la la).

Runway.  Heidi intros top American designer Michael Kors; fashion director for Marie Claire Nina Garcia; and the lady who put TMZ on the map, Lindsay Lohan (hereinafter “Li-Lo”) with crazy hair extensions.  Althea very glamorous, Malvin’s misfitted, Mitchell’s looks good from the front but there’s too much pantyline when the model turns around.  Christopher cries his eyes out when his outfits comes down the runway, it’s good but not tear-worthy.  So far, I’m rather impressed with everyone I’ve seen.  Somehow I think this is going to come down to hem and other technical things that won’t translate onto my screen.  At least until I saw Ari’s outfit, blech!  And there’s too much boob double-sided tape needed to hold in Johnny’s model.  Carol Hannah presents interesting texture, but we forget about it when we see Qristyl’s purple monster and Logan’s salute to Grace Jones.

Heidi dismisses almost all of them for the evaluation.  We begin with Qristyl, who says she designed it for someone like Miley Cyrus or Li-Lo, and Li-Lo snickers/vomits in her mouth.  Kors thinks she’ll get killed by the tabloids.  Kors thinks Christopher’s outfit is cute and edgy; the others all agree.  Ra’mon also scores well with the panel, with high praise from Heidi for making something look so expensive on a limited budget.

Nina asks Ari what red carpet her model is walking.  The answer?  “The VMAs, like 2080.  I want her to also go and receive her Nobel Peace Prize on the same night.”  Kors thinks she looks like a disco soccer ball, and the model laughs.  Without a hint of irony, Li-Lo lectures Ari about appropriateness and self-awareness.  We hear patronizing comments about respecting and appreciating her vision, which us Southerners would substitute with, “Bless your heart.”  (Note: It’s not a compliment.)

I’m shocked that they like Johnny’s as much as they do, except the color is too much for them.  Finally, we come to Mitchell who makes excuses for his model’s lying about her size, which according to Heidi is de rigueur for the industry.  Nina thinks it’s unwearable but she likes his attitude.  Kors thinks it is a cool nightgown “with a glass of brandy and the fireplace going.”

Privy Council.  Ra’mon is safe, as is Johnny.  Heidi would wear Christopher’s above all of them.  In the worst dressed, Kors is concerned about Qristyl’s eye and he wonders whether Ari is on another planet, too smart for them to get.

Results.  Johnny is in.  Christopher wins.  Cue the tears!  I think he’s our crier this season.  Ra’mon and Qristyl are in just because it’s taking me the whole hour to figure out how to spell their names correctly.  Heidi tells Ari she missed the box completely (vice thinking outside of it) and Mitchell gave too many excuses.  And Ari is out.  Good!   After suffering through seasons of Jubilee Jumble (no, I can’t believe I went there so early this season) and the Spitter, I’m glad they got rid of the spacey chick so early.

Next week: Design a garment for a real, big celebrity.  If this were Bravo, it would be The Real Housewives of Orange County, but since it’s Lifetime, maybe it will be the star of Drop Dead Diva.

For another take on this episode, check out Attack of the Disco Soccer Balls by Jaimie Campos.

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 6, Episode 1: Welcome to Los Angeles! (Originally aired August 20, 2009)

For more on Project Runway, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm EST on Lifetime

Photographs courtesy of Lifetime and IMDbPro

« Previous Page — Next Page »