Rescue Me: Happy Days: Miami

What the what? Was there something resembling “character development” this week? I blinked during the episode and almost missed it! And no sex again? I could get used to a show like this, assuming that any of this week’s life lessons carry over beyond tonight. Not that I expect them to – I’m not the delusional alcoholic here.

And so! First, Needles informs Tommy about his role as Lou’s best man, while also conceding that though Tommy’s no Opie, he does have a certain David Caruso thing about him with the hair, the sunglasses, and the voice. I hope I forget that, because those three things and Horatio’s tendency to enunciate like Captain Kirk makes CSI: Miami unwatchable. I have enough to deal with here without being reminded of that every week. Tommy confronts Lou, who accepts responsibility for the David Caruso connection. Lou then unabashedly rips into Tommy for being a horrible person and friend and generally unsupportive. Why Lou had Needles do the telling, I don’t know, since Lou’s not intimidated by Tommy at all. But it means Needles gets screen time, and I find I’m a Needles fan.  The resulting confrontation leads to Lou taking a stand (RIP John Hughes) with his calling Tommy a whore. The “argument” devolves into a shoving match with stunt doubles and stunt-shoving. When the two finally relax, Lou names Tommy as his best man, and Needles as the buffer. Which … I thought we established last week. At the ceremony, Needles will step in if Tommy turns into a jerk.  (FYI – All goes well.)

But the most interesting attack Lou lands against Tommy is the shot about Tommy sleeping with Sheila. Tommy makes such a big deal about Jimmy’s death on 9/11 and the heroic immortalization of all the firefighters lost that day. Essentially, if Jimmy died running into a building struck down by terrorists, remembered as a hero and now legend, isn’t Tommy kind of the biggest dirtbag in the world for jumping his widow, just for sex? Isn’t that kind of blasphemous, when Tommy’s the one who holds all things Jimmy and 9/11 to be sacred?

A visit to Sheila’s encourages this point. Tommy and Sheila romantically reminisce about their first date and make-out session, before she married Jimmy.  Tommy punched some guy in the face for looking at her ass, and she called a halt to their almost-relationship right then because he was “too dangerous.” Jimmy was the stable, sane one and the kind of guy she needed then.  Tommy slowly realizes that he was this close to ending up with Sheila, that he almost had this other life, with this other woman who might have complemented him better than Janet. And his jumping of his cousin’s widow might be more of a result of his having always wanted her.  With Jimmy gone, Tommy was finally free to do so. Or maybe I’m just really reading into all of this. Either way, Tommy becomes very reflective.

In other news, Franco agrees to fight a girl, because he’s dumber than he looks. Or something. Candy’s uncle loved her and willed her part of his fortune when he died, so she’s loaded and making Lou sign a pre-nup. We gloss over whether or not she plans to pay him back the money she stole way back when. Lou and Candy marry at the bar, with Lou already questioning his decision. Oh, and Jimmy had an affair a year before he died, which he kept secret from Tommy. Uh oh!

Maura Tierney returns to the firehouse, because her date with Mike went south when he started singing Apache Stone songs during foreplay. She hits on Damien for some Cougar-loving. They set up a date, but Tommy shows up instead to protect Damien’s honor. Tommy and Maura split a bottle of tequila, debate whether or not Tommy has a “David Bowie”-thing about him, and she reveals the case held photos, memorabilia, paraphernalia and really, really good weed. Also, Mike bets Tommy and Lou that Maura’s record exec friend will show up and sign Apache Stone to his label; the loser must shave all hair from his body. And here I thought they couldn’t top an orange penis. Paying this debt ought to be interesting.

And so, we have what is potentially the best episode in a long while, showing a tiny glimpse of Rescue Me’s potential (not the shaved penis bit). As usual, the show stops just short of fully exploring any real issues. With only a few episodes left to the season, we can only hope the writers finally start going places, but I’ve learned not to get my hopes up.

Next week: The mystery of Jimmy’s mistress!

For another take on this episode, check out Secrets, Lies, Fist Fights and Vitamin Water by Cameron Cubbison.

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 5, Episode 19: David (Originally aired August 11, 2009)

For more on Rescue Me, click here.

Tuesdays at 10pm on FX

Photograph courtesy of FX and IMDbPro