Top Chef Masters: Getting Schooled

Now for one of the more enjoyable episodes of TCM. Not that I’m not enjoying the season, but I wouldn’t qualify any of the episodes as “must watch.” This week we see one of my favorite Quickfires and that these Master chefs don’t always succeed. It’s nice to see a little drama on this show. Since everyone’s resolved to act like an adult and not go all Real Housewives on each other.

And so, going forward: Each week, one person will win an additional monetary prize for their charity, and one chef will go home. In case you need the reminders, the six assembled winning chefs: Hubert Keller, Suzanne Tracht, Rick Bayless,  Anita Lo, Michael Chiarello, and Art Smith.

Quickfire: The chefs pull knives, dividing them into two teams of Salt ‘n’ Pepa. In tonight’s metaphor, Kelly shall play the role of Spinderella. The challenge: Mise en place relay race. Or, who can prep four ingredients the fastest. You remember that episode and that episode right? I love this challenge! The chefs all freak a little bit, because they don’t prep food anymore. They supervise. The chefs must shuck 15 oysters, dice 5 onions, butcher 4 chickens, and separate 5 eggs, beaten until the eggs hold in the bowl for five seconds. One chef on each team must prep two items.

“Big Daddy” Colicchio arrives with his whistle to play referee, and he’s wearing an unfortunate blue sweater, collared shirt, and tan khakis combination. He looks awful.

Team Salt: Anita, Hubert and Rick. Team Pepper: Art, Michael, and Suzanne. This the most competitive we’ve seen the Masters all season long, shouting out encouragements and playfully trash-talking. I’ve missed this! Remember when Dale punched a wall? Crazy, but still – good times. The teams remain tied until the last round of egg beating – Suzanne nearly beats Hubert on the oyster shucking, and though Art dices the onions much faster than Hubert, Anita preps her chickens faster than Michael, so they end at the same time. It’s down to Art versus Rick and 5 eggs. The joke’s on Art though, because Rick’s pastry training comes in handy, and he blows Art out of the water.

Team Salt wins! I rejoice because I’m no fan of Art or Michael. Between the whining and name dropping and Michael’s ego, I’m surprised they survived on the same team together, even for five minutes. Team Salt earns 5 stars each; Team Pepper earns 4 each.

The Masters then innocently prepare their signature dishes to serve to each other and sit down for a meal. Art starts his name-dropping by declaring that he’ll make the dish he prepared for President Obama, and if it’s good enough for the President, then it’s good enough for these low lives. I’m paraphrasing. A little. Over the meal, Michael goes on about how creative and imaginative he is, and how good his dish is, and how excellent his choice of wine is. Oh, that’s his wine. Well, naturally.

Elimination Challenge. Kelly returns to declare that the chefs must re-create the just-completed dish of another competitor, putting their own twist on the original. Oh snap! Rick is offended, but laughs it off and plays along. Hubert’s excited. Hubert and Anita will swap dishes as will Art and Suzanne, and Rick and Michael.

Immediately, Art starts complaining about how the other “talented” chefs have a lot more experience than he does. Already making excuses for a loss? For shame, Art! What would Oprah say? What would Obama say? Michael’s ego makes an appearance, as he’s still confident he’s going to win the entire competition.

Over prep, Hubert compliments Anita’s dish as one of his favorites. Suzanne loosens up with some smiles, and she looks to be enjoying herself this time. Michael decides to completely reinterpret Rick’s dish, and now Rick’s completely offended, even if he pretends not to be. Rick takes a chance on Michael’s dish by not flavoring it with his usual Mexican spices.

Suzanne worries about the grouper she’s chosen for her dish, since it is such a delicate fish and requires perfection. She plates well before the others, concerned about the deadline. Art already knows he’s undercooked his lamb.

Service. The diners are some of the previous Masters competitors. And honestly, anybody sitting at the tables (Lee, Lefebvre, Falkner, Peel, Moonen, and Cimarusti) would have been a joy to watch in the finale over Art and Michael, and (sorry to say) Suzanne. They are joined by Rayner, Oseland, and Gael.

Art creates a complete dish with a hint of dessert, but not all of the components were cooked perfectly, which hurts the overall meal. Rick worries about Ludo’s ‘tude, but shouldn’t, as Ludo enjoys Rick’s take on Michael’s dish. The others also appreciate that Rick didn’t rest on Mexican spices. Suzanne’s grouper is overcooked, and the gnocchi is too cold. Oseland thinks it was perfect at some point, but the wait hurt the food.

Hubert’s scallops are perfection, but his sea urchin sauce falls just a little short on flavor. Michael’s dish is a touch undercooked and under-seasoned. Moonen calls it “the beginning of a great dish.” Ouch. And awesome. Anita creates a trio using Hubert’s dish as inspiration. The diners love the presentation and each piece is deliciously perfect. All in all, this is the most judgmental any of the diners and the critics have been, and even more importantly, the editing actually allows us to see the diners being critical.

Critics Table. Suzanne barely edges out Art for the lowest score: she lands 14 stars, Art 15, Michael 18 ½, Hubert 21 ½, Rick 23, and Anita wins with 24 stars. She’s earned another $10,000 for her charity, and Suzanne packs her knives and goes home! I was rooting for Art’s elimination, so imagine the ending a little more suspenseful than it actually was. Disappointing, but entertaining.

Next week: Zooey Deschanel, and everyone worries!

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 1, Episode 7: Champions Round Begins (originally aired July 29, 2009)

For more on Top Chef Masters, click here.

Wednesdays at 10/9c on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Kelsey McNeal