Glee: My Dream . . . Is To Dream

“A singer in a smokey room, the smell of wine and cheap perfume,” well at least until Quinn runs out with morning sickness, reminding everyone that they need Rachel for the solo if they want to do well at regionals.  Finn points out that Quinn could use less of a part on account of her pregnancy, oh and he’s not telling his mother, even if Will thinks he should.  Meanwhile, Will doesn’t understand why Terri isn’t having any morning sickness even though Quinn can’t stop vomiting (but that’s good because then her child isn’t Mongoloid).  And before the waiter can bring Terri another piece of pie, Will finds out the waiter is a “six-year senior”—you see his school keeps failing him so he can stay to compete in the glee club.

Emma calls in Finn to ask if he needs to talk about anything (ahem, the baby).  She suggests he could get a music scholarship through glee club, get a full ride to college, and get out of the town.  One step is getting glee to do well in regionals by getting Rachel back in glee.  Looks like Emma is plotting something to get into Will’s good graces, i.e., by getting Finn to get Rachel back into glee.  But Rachel’s too busy not taking off her “over the shoulder boulder holder” in order to get a good review in the school newspaper.  And while Mr. Ryerson has no problem with nudity (in part due to his planned production of Equus), Rachel won’t relent.  Finn, however, shows up and dazzles Rachel with his charm.  Perhaps this might work.

After realizing students (of all ages) who are still in high school can legally participate in glee, Will asks Emma for the student records of April Rhodes who was a glee club rock star and should have graduated many years ago.  Turns out Will’s suspicions were right; April never graduated and so he contacts her online to arrange a meeting/recruitment session.  And in walks April (played by Tony and Emmy Award-winning Kristin Chenoweth), well more like Will walks into her house and box of wines.  But as they’re getting acquainted, a realtor walks in and says that April’s a squatter and needs to get out.  So with wine box in hand, they sit on the curb and April shares her story of failed dreams and being a high school dropout.  Will offers to help her graduate (with her last three credits), sober up, and into a fresh pair of underwear.

Will introduces April to glee club, a/k/a the world’s worst Benetton ad, but this group isn’t thrilled about an old person joining their ranks.  So April dazzles them all with a very sultry “Maybe This Time,” but it turns into an off-stage duet with Rachel.  I’m not sure I get the artistic meaning here but Kurt’s crying at the end.  Will suggests she endear herself with the rest of the kids.  She wins Kurt over with liquor (I think) and vintage muscle magazines (SFW).  She gets Mercedes and Tina by teaching them how to smuggle things out under their skirts (to help their walking or something about a lit birthday cake).  And she screws Puck.

Back at Rachel’s rehearsal, Sandy is not having any of this, with “this” being Rachel’s musical abilities.  But she won’t quit and let Sandy take over her role.  She doubles down and works her lines with Finn, who thinks they should go bowling to help loosen up.  She’s flustered by it all and even more so when Will and April walk in and talk about April getting Rachel’s former solo.  But the most bothered of them all is Kurt, who vomits on Emma after drinking too much.  After some Karen Silkwoods later in the emergency room, Emma tells Will that she’s concerned about what he’s doing by involving April and taking away an opportunity for a true student to grow.

Sandy, however, missed that lessen and shouts Rachel out of rehearsal and into tears in the bathroom.  April tries to comfort her (even without a NyQuil pick-me up) but Rachel thinks April is inappropriate.  April, of course, doesn’t care because this time she’s making all the wrong decisions but for all the right reasons.

Bowling time, where ball sharing is all part of the fun.  Finn’s sharing his with Rachel and flirting like crazy while teaching her what to do.  Across the lanes, Will and April (and some horse tranquilizers) are bowling but it’s a pretext for Will to tell April to start acting more responsibly around the students.  He also says how he used to idolize her when he was in high school (she was a senior when he was a freshman) and he’s always dreamed of singing with her.  So shut your gravy hole while these two interrupt Bingo night to duet to “Alone” by Heart.  While they sing, Finn tells Rachel he wants to spend more time with her (regardless of Quinn) and wants her back in glee.  So they seal the deal with a kiss.

Back in rehearsal, they’re all guessing what’s wrong with Quinn and it’s not lactose intolerance.  Puck breaks the news of Quinn’s pregnancy by Finn (and Bert and Ernie’s domestic partnership) and then they all tell Rachel when she announces her triumphant return to glee club.  After Finn submits his scholarship application to Emma (since his plan worked), Rachel slaps Finn in the face for his lies.  He owns up to them and says he did what he needed to do for his unborn child but it doesn’t change his feelings for Rachel.  Rachel doesn’t care and goes to Coach Sue to get back into the musical, only if changes are made.  Sue agrees, especially after Sandy tried to write himself in as Queen Cleopatra, which only made Sue aroused and then furious.  As a result, Sue gives Rachel complete artistic control of the show.  Shocking.

Show night for New Directions and April stumbles in drunk (after almost running over Emma).  But Will ignores it all because the show must go on.  And so April and her pink cowgirl outfit (with the glee kids in the background) bring country western to Lima, Ohio, with “Last Name.” Rachel looks on with dejection.  Will also isn’t pleased and stops April from going back out on stage.  She agrees that she doesn’t belong there even though she loved that standing ovation from the crowd.  She wants to get out of the kids’ sunshine and let Will make sure that what happened to her will never happen to any of them.  So next stop Broadway . . . or Branson.

Will tells the gleeks that April isn’t coming back and that they’ll just cut the show short.  In walks Rachel, tail between her legs, offering to be April’s understudy since she quit the musical (again?).  They all agree and welcome her back into the fold for the closing number of “Somebody to Love” (and all the Queen fans cower in the corner, while the queens go crazy).

So we’re five episodes in to the first season and I really hope they work on improving the lip syncing on this show.  It’s really distracting and sad that good singers, particularly those of Ms. Chenoweth’s quality (recall this performance from one of the greatest shows ever), are portrayed as amateurs.  Just a thought.

Next week Terri thinks Will’s been hiding his kielbasa in a Hickory Farms gift basket that doesn’t belong to her.  Who knew Will was Polish?

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 1, Episode 5: The Rhodes Not Taken (originally aired September 30, 2009)

For more on Glee, click here.

Wednesdays at 9pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

Mad Men: It’s not adorable to pretend like you’re not adorable

Wow, that was a doozy. Not as much of a literal bloodbath as last week, but not that far off, either.

Don is blackmailed by Bertram, betrayed by unethical soon-to-be hippies, mocked to his face by Suzanne Farrell, and reprimanded on workplace etiquette by Conrad Hilton. He responds by lashing out at Peggy (who then goes and sleeps with Duck!!!); engaging in reckless drinking, driving, and drugging; grunting audibly at his hallucinated father; and generally moping around for the entire episode. It’s the least likeable Don has been in a while, which is actually kind of refreshing. I mean, so far this year the worst we’ve really seen him do was that one one-night stand back in the season premiere, which for Don is roughly the equivalent of, say, forgetting to say his prayers before bed one night.

But let’s start out by discussing that Peggy/Duck fiasco, since that seems to be all anyone’s talking about anyway.

You’ll recall that Duck has been trying to woo Peggy and Pete away from Sterling Cooper and over to his new agency. He’s being quite persistent still, sending over Cuban cigars and Hermès scarves. Pete is resisting like that girl he met at the freshman mixer. Peggy does the same, showing a loyalty to SC even in the face of Don’s unwarranted outburst that I don’t understand, but probably just because I can’t relate to that whole thing where it was 1963 and once you got a job you stayed in it for the next 40 years (see also: Paul Kinsey). She goes to see Duck in his hotel room to turn him down personally, though, and gets herself seduced in the process. Raise your hand if you saw that coming.

Have we ever had reason to see Duck as a sexual being before? Maybe that’s what squicked me (and, apparently, everyone else) so much about that sequence. It wasn’t the age difference; compared to Roger/Jane, the twenty-odd years separating Peggy and Duck are mere trifles.

Or maybe it’s just that his name is Duck. Peggy, you know I love you, and I’m happy for you for finally getting some non-self-hatred-induced action, but sweetie, your mother really should’ve warned you never to sleep with any man named after a type of waterfowl.

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let’s take this shocking new development seriously. What are Duck’s motives here? Surely he’s not doing it just to get her to come work for him; Peggy’s a good copywriter, but as Don so cruelly pointed out, she’s got room to grow. Is Duck simply trying to hurt Don by stealing his favorites, as Pete adorably thinks? If so, why would he be trying to get Pete too? We the audience know Don would probably be somewhat sad to lose either Peggy or Pete, and that he would be both irritated and amused to learn that Duck had been the poacher, but maybe Duck is anticipating harsher consequences, since he never really understood Don in the first place? Or maybe, and best of all for my girl Peggy, Duck’s motives are purely of the lustful variety. You go, Uncle Herman.

As for Peggy, I think we can safely write off her night of fun to the garden-variety liking to be wanted, liking “adventure,” etc. And maybe she kind of likes Duck, too. After seeing her latest hot prospect spray blood all over her colleagues, I can see how she might be casting a wide eye these days.

And by the way, did Peggy really think no one was going to notice her rocking the same fabulous pleated-skirt-and-cardigan combo two days in a row? Or maybe that was the point, actually. Peggy wants people (and, I suspect, one person in particular) to think she has a life.

All right, now let’s talk about the rest of the episode.

Last week’s accident wasn’t even mentioned, unless I missed it, but Conrad Hilton is turning into the season’s “Save the cheerleader, save the world” motif. He wants to cheat on his existing ad agency with Don. Don’s thrilled, until the SC overlords (Bertram, Roger, and Pryce) use the Hilton account as an excuse to force Don into signing a contract. Don spends the rest of the episode stalling without coming up with any concrete strategies to get out of it, and then finally gives in when Bertram looks him in the face and says, “Would you say I know something about you, Don?” It’s by far the worst thing we’ve seen Bertram do (well, I guess sympathizing with Admiral’s racism was worse, but you know what I mean). Don signs, announcing as he does so that he doesn’t want to ever talk to Roger again. The two of them had already been reduced to discussing the weather, and as part of the contract shenanigans Roger had even stooped so low as to call Betty, which was arguably just as bad as Bertram’s blackmail maneuver. (Betty responded to him by displaying the utmost loyalty to Don, earning the first “you go, girl!” she’s gotten from me all season… and then proceeded to do exactly what Roger wanted, reminding Don in a fairly mean (but justifiable, really) tone that his career moves do, actually, impact Betty’s life. Like, a lot.)

Despite all the harsh tactics he was subjected to, I was shocked when Don finally did sign the contract. I was actually muttering out loud at the TV, “Don’t sign, don’t sign!” Which is impressive, since I’m totally on Betty’s side in that argument (even though I’d like to think I’m less snotty about it than she is). But it’s a testament to how well the show and Jon Hamm have infused Don with such strength as a character that I’m on his side even when I know he’s wrong.

Which reminds me. I’ve been putting off doing a character discussion on Betty, because of all the characters on the show she’s the one I find hardest to relate to.[*] But now she’s heading down a path toward her very own ongoing adultery storyline (and here I’ll admit I’m again tempted to offer up a “You go, girl!” even though I know how very wrong that would be), and it seems like it’s time. So.

Everyone on the show has had major character growth between the pilot and the present day, but Betty’s is certainly the most dramatic, at least of the main characters. In season 1, she was essentially an alien. She was deep into that functional-yet-deeply-depressed state that made it impossible for viewers to tell what she was feeling, since she didn’t even seem to know for sure herself. It’s kind of shocking that a character like that was allowed to exist on TV, actually. Someday, maybe (well, okay, probably not), she’ll be thankful for Don’s affairs, since that was apparently what it took to turn her from a weird, pretty robot into a human being. Her depressive period in season 2, the one where she didn’t comb her hair for a week, at least seemed like a normal person’s depressive period, not like she’d walked off the set of Village of the Damned. Now, she seems pretty much in control of her life, whether that means choosing for herself how to grieve over her father’s death or redecorating her living room (which looked so gorgeous by the way; I wonder if her decorator’s still in business?). Consequently, this season is by far the most I’ve ever liked Betty, even if she still drives me bonkers more often than not (“She’s a child. She’ll get over it”).

As for Mr. Henry Francis, I find him completely unappealing. But that’s only one of the many many ways in which I do not see the world the way Betty does. In addition the obvious motive of enjoying his attention (because really, Betty and Peggy aren’t all that different when you peel down far enough), I wonder if her dad’s line from a few episodes ago isn’t still running through her mind – you know, the “That’s probably why you married this joker. If only you’d known what was possible!” I can totally see Betty translating that into “I could have had this relatively hot lawyer-turned-rich-political-dude-whose-job-I-don’t-understand, so let’s flirt with him now and see how long he keeps flirting back.” It’s several steps up from last season’s 22-year-old trust fund kid, at least. Let’s just hope it ends before Betty decides she needs to get even with Don on the quantity front, because Rachel Mencken was a lot more fun to watch than this Republican bozo.

Also this week: Pete has the insider knowledge on the escalation of U.S. military involvement in Vietnam, and could not possibly care less, except as it relates to his chances of getting to work on the Hilton account. Don’s as-yet-unnamed secretary is beautiful and seems to be excellent at her job, and I’m dying to learn her story. Suzanne Farrell has interesting fashion sense and was rivaling Don this week for unlikeability. And I’m totally going to start saying “Stop coming in here and infecting me with your anxiety!” to people.

Anyway, I’ve got to go spend time with my family reading the Bible. Later.

---

[*] The easiest is probably Harry. Which is really, really embarrassing.

Season 3, Episode 7: Seven Twenty Three (originally aired September 27, 2009)

For more on Mad Men, click here.

Sundays at 10PM/9C, AMC

Photographs courtesy of AMC and Carin Baer

House of Pain

There are reasons why the show is called House. It is built around a central character and is intended as a star vehicle for Hugh Laurie, who is consistently excellent. Lisa Edelstein and Robert Sean Leonard as Cuddy and Wilson perform important functions for the show, acting as checks and points of balance for House. They are appealing actors too (although I wish the show would give Robert Sean Leonard more to do besides whine and play House’s conscience). But the rest of the cast is entirely disposable in my book. Therein lies the problem with this episode: House is essentially a side character here. When he is onscreen, the show is worth watching. When he isn’t, the show isn’t either. So, much of this episode is virtually unwatchable, as it devotes an inordinate amount of time to Foreman and Thirteen, the former being a character I truly despise.

Our medical mystery opening is quite out there. We see a group of video game designers working in the virtual reality world of their upcoming game. So we get to see big CG aliens and critters and it’s like we’re in a sci-fi movie, not House. Hey, that’s a cool, visual opening. I’ll give them that. But of course, something has to go wrong, and it does. The fellas quit playing and step back into the real world only to find their boss Vince sitting on the couch staring at his hands and exclaiming that they’re on fire. They aren’t. Sounds like a job for House!

Except…House makes a surprising decision in the beginning of the episode: he quits his job. And I don’t mean he says he’s quitting to play some power game with Cuddy or make a point. He’s dead serious. He says he is moving to research because he can’t risk coming back to his old job and his old life, which drove him to the looney bin. Cuddy is taken aback but doesn’t try to stop him. Foreman though, being the colossal ass that he is, tells Cuddy that he wants House’s job almost before House leaves the room. Cuddy wants to dismantle House’s department, saying that she only created it for House. But Foreman weasels his way into getting himself a trial run.

Thus, Foreman needs to solve this case with Vince the video game guy. It’s make it or break it. So he puts Taub and his girlfriend Thirteen to work. And here comes the “problem”: he starts treating her like an employee instead of his girlfriend, telling her what to do instead of asking. This upsets her. Boo hoo! Somebody call the whambulance! Because that’s what we get for the majority of the episode, Foreman whining about how he wants this job and doesn’t want to fail, Thirteen whining about how Foreman isn’t treating her right. They whine alone, they whine to each other, they whine to other poor saps. All while coming up with diagnosis after diagnosis for Vince, who turns out to be a pain in the ass in his own right. He has no faith in the medical team, so he posts all of his symptoms online and offers up a $25,000 reward for whoever comes in and figure out what’s wrong with him. This of course causes all kinds of quacks to flood the hospital, and the team has to take care of them and convince Vince (hey that rhymes!) to let them do their jobs.

House, meanwhile, is struggling to keep it together. He’s still going to therapy with Dr. Nolan (Andre Braugher reprises his role and offers a welcome respite from all of the whiny crap), and he’s living with Wilson. Nolan tells House that he needs to get a hobby. House immediately conjures up images of making models or collecting stamps and tries to drown them with sarcasm. “I said you need a hobby, not a lame hobby” Nolan replies.

But House doesn’t have any hobbies; medicine is his whole life. So he tries to steal Wilson’s hobby: cooking. At this point he’ll do anything to take his mind off how much he wants more Vicodin for his leg, and cooking meatballs in the kitchen with Wilson at least offers up the opportunity for House to make infantile homoerotic comments about Wilson, which he happily takes advantage of. He starts attacking cooking with the same scientific, tactical approach that he takes toward curing people. He ends up being quite good at it, even obsessive. As he explains later on, House is obsessive about being obsessive. He can’t do anything normally; he has to obsess over it to a spectacular degree.

These scenes are enjoyable and well-acted; they just occur too infrequently. I understand that the writers are trying to focus on changing things up for House, that they can’t just have him hop back into his normal routine as if nothing ever happened. He has to get back gradually. So I understand it, I understand why House isn’t taking center stage in the hospital right now. But I still don’t like it. I can’t stand Foreman or Thirteen! Especially Foreman. He’s not remotely likable or interesting. I don’t want to watch him. If House doesn’t take center stage next week and kick Foreman back into his supporting role, I think I’m done. One glimmer of hope: Taub says he is quitting, although I’m sure we’re not lucky enough for that to actually happen.

Foreman and Thirteen reach a…pivotal…point in their relationship, but I don’t care. And as always, the medical mystery part of the show is interesting, but it’s just a device. Everyone knows that the formula of the show will involve the team making a series of wrong diagnoses before they finally get it right in the nick of time. I don’t know how the writers keep coming up with these obscure medical conditions. They must have teams of people wholly devoted to research, working around the clock.

House does come in to save the day towards the end, but in an amusing and atypical way. That’s a nice touch. He talks more with Nolan and says that solving the case was the only thing that made his leg feel better. Nolan says that maybe House needs his job in order to get better. Maybe it is what he actually needs. “The only thing worse for you than going back to diagnostic medicine is not going back,” he says. Next week, we will find out.

For another take on this episode, read Coming Full Circle by Stephanie Jaar.

Season 6, Episode 2: Epic Fail (originally aired September 28, 2009)

For more on House, click here.

Tuesdays 8/7c on FOX

Photographs courtesy of IMDb Pro

House: Coming Full Circle

House is back this week with a new bizarre medical case and the future of the Department of Diagnostic Medicine in jeopardy. The Patient of the Week is a video game developer who lands in the hospital when his hands begin burning as if they’re on fire. We’ll call him Flaming Hands; it sounds cool.

Flaming Hands is the perfect patient for House’s team because his symptoms continue to worsen. Only problem is, House has just quit and Cuddy doesn’t see much point in keeping the Diagnostics department open since he was the whole reason it existed in the first place. House claims his reason for quitting is because he needs a new environment to help him continue onto the path of recovery; the hospital would remind him too much of the past. Okay, sounds fair enough. I can work with this excuse for one episode.

Foreman quickly intervenes, however, and begs Cuddy to allow him to take House’s position. Foreman must be really full of himself if he thinks he’s good enough to take over for House. Naturally, Cuddy isn’t entirely convinced of Foreman’s abilities, but she gives him one shot. If he can cure Flaming Hands, then the department will remain open and he can take House’s position.

House, meanwhile, is told by Dr. Nolan that he needs to take up a new hobby to help keep his mind off the chronic pain in his leg. So House moves in with Wilson (slash fans, rejoice!) and takes up cooking. Turns out, he’s not such a bad cook! House even manages to save Wilson’s balls after they almost burn. Meatballs, of course, get your mind out of the gutter!

Back at Princeton Plainsboro, Flaming Hands ropes in the World Wide Web to help diagnose him since Foreman’s team can’t seem to find an answer. Also, did anyone else catch that jab towards Jeremy Piven and the whole mercury poisoning fiasco? Anyways, Foreman tries to be bad ass like House (and fails) and then there’s something about his and Thirteen’s relationship. I was over Foreman and Thirteen’s relationship before it even began. Oh, and Taub (“the one with the nose”) decides to quit now since House is gone. Even the producers didn’t care since he basically vanishes into thin air after his resignation scene. It’s as if Taub never existed (we can all wish).

On the House front, he continues to be plagued by the temptation to start using Vicodin again but manages to withstand it. The good news is he now has Dr. Nolan to talk to. I have to say, I like this Dr. Nolan.

Flaming Hands is getting desperate for a cure to put him out of his misery and offers up a reward of $25,000 for anybody who can solve his medical mystery. Foreman has a revelation à la House and thinks he’s solved the case – only to find out that Thirteen beat him to the chase after she read through the messages received by Flaming Hands and found the answer in there. Nevertheless, Cuddy is impressed and allows Foreman to keep the position. Foreman then decides he cannot continue working with Thirteen, but still wants to be in a relationship with her, so he fires her from the team. This makes no sense to me; why would Thirteen want to keep dating him after he just fired her?! How selfish.

Finally, we wrap up with House who confides in Dr. Nolan that he’s the one who solved his old team’s case when he saw Flaming Hand’s posting on the Internet. It turns out that when House solved the case, the pain diminished in his leg.

So long Chef House, it was fun while it lasted, but welcome back Dr. House!

Next week, House returns to Princeton Plainsboro to solve some cases and Chase and Cameron are back center stage now that Taub and Thirteen are presumably gone.

For another take on this episode, read House of Pain by Cameron Cubbison.

Season 6, Episode 2: Epic Fail (originally aired September 28, 2009)

For more on House, click here.

Tuesdays 8/7c on FOX

Photographs courtesy of Fox, NBC Universal, Larry Watson, and Michael Yarish

Fame

Fame won’t win any awards for best picture of the year, and it’s young stars won’t garner any acting praise. To many audiences, who fell in love with the film in 1980, this will be a disappointment, as re-makes often are. The two things Fame has going for it are inspiring messages and wholesome teen images. Especially when nowadays so many movies portray teens as either want-to-be Gossip Girls or teens yearning to bite Robert Pattinson. The world could always use more positive reinforcement for our youths, right? But what it lacks is interesting and developed characters tackling hardships and overcoming obstacles.

It was such an ensemble cast with so many no names that it doesn’t feel necessary to list all the actors, but it was nice to see Kherington Payne from So You Think You Can Dance moving and grooving, even if she basically played a more snooty, less electric version of herself. Sadly Kay Panabaker (Summerland), who’s got such a sweet face you just want to like her, was the flattest I’ve ever seen her. Debbie Allen returns to the school as Principal Angela Simms though one can explain how Lydia’s doppelganger has appeared at the school decades later. The best parts were Charles S. Dutton, Megan Mullally, Bebe Neuwirth and Kelsey Grammer as the wonderful teachers, but sadly they were rarely on screen. The most affecting parts of film were when they were in them.

Directed by Kevin Tancharoen, who’s most recent project was the TV show The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Next Search for the Next Doll, and written by Allison Burnett (Feast of Love and Resurrecting the Champ), the plot doesn’t differ much from it’s 80s counterpart. Teens with the desire to artistically express themselves audition to attend the New York City High School of Performing Arts and spend the next four years reaching for their dreams. The setup is broken into the same parts: the auditions, freshman, sophomore, junior and senior year. And you can see glimpses of the original characters in these new ones.

But while you felt for these kids almost 30 years ago, there’s not the same connection this time around. There are a few more characters to focus on, so many of the characters and their development get lost in the shuffle. Where the 80s teachers also had their chance to shine, you wanted more time with their updated versions. The issues of feminism, race and homosexuality were prevalent throughout the old film, whereas the biggest issue this time were parents who stifled their child’s artistic ambition. Oh and any hint of sex was thrown out the door. Yes, this version was more like its Disney counterparts, all shiny and squeaky clean. And while the music was enjoyable, I wish there had been grander dance scenes. The big finish was fantastic and the iconic lunchroom outburst was fun, but the rest of the movie fell kind of flat in that prospect. It reminds me of Center Stage, a very similar story that did the whole dance part so much better and with more gusto. In that the storylines were more serious but the film stayed light at heart.

This version of Fame didn’t quite achieve that balance, but what this new film does have in common with the old is heart and I think that’s the main goal of  both Fames. When the kids are dancing and singing you feel that they love what they are doing, even if you also chuckle at the idea of not so great actors aspiring to be great actors on screen.

The Amazing Race: Oh, the games they will play. . .

It’s early morning in some dank spot in L.A. where they shoot dark, futuristic movies like Terminator 2.  Whatever, L.A.  I’m from the place where they shot 8 Mile and Roger & Me.  You don’t get darker than that.

Your teams this season are:

Brian & Ericka:  She’s Miss America 2004; he’s dorky-looking.  She’s black; he’s white.  They are here to teach us a lesson about love.

Lance & Keri:  Engaged.   I’m writing this about two hours after I watched the show and I have no idea who these people are.

Maria & Tiffany:  Professional poker players.  Later, I’ll mock them later for being barely-adequate fibbers who were stupid enough to fib, but right now I’m just grateful that they’re females whose names are spelled exactly the way they’re supposed to be.

Zev & Justin:  I love Zev.  ’nuff said.

Mika & Canaan:  They sing!  They love Christ! They’re ridiculously good-looking!

Herbert & Nathaniel: Harlem Globetrotters who go by the monikers “Flight Time” and “The Big Easy”.  But, as a great man once said, “His mama call him Clay, Im’a call him Clay.”

Sam &  Dan:  They happen to be brothers, and they happen to be gay. (They also happen to be gullible, but that’s another story.)

Gary & Matt:  Or, guy with the pink hair and guy with the pink hair’s dad.

Eric & Lisa:  Oh, who the hell cares.  For what it’s worth, they’re yoga teachers.

Garrett & Jessica:  They’ve been dating off and on and she’s Colombian.  The only Colombians I’m used to seeing on my TV are Jackie’s ex, Mimi, and Shakira.  Stereotypically speaking, this could get interesting.

Marcy & Ron.  They’re old(er).  But that doesn’t stop them from playing archery or going rock-climbing.  She’s very excitable.  He kinda looks like Larry David, with a rounder, less sardonic head.

Cheyne (seriously?) & Meghan:  I remember nothing about them, but I imagine that when their application was received, the lackey who read it raised it in the air and said “Look!  We’ve got a ‘Cheyne’ here!”

So, right away, Eric and Lisa go bye-bye (which is why we didn’t care about them, see?).  The Amazing Race, taking a cue from Survivor, gives the group a challenge off the back.  They must use the clue to identify a license plate from the location of their next challenge.  Observant people figure out (some later than others) that the symbol on the clue matches the symbol on the plate.  These people are Maria & Tiffany, Marcy & Ron, Meghan and Cheyne (seriously, people, Cheyne??), Herbert & Nathaniel (if I call them Herb and Nate, will this make them less bad-ass in your estimation?  Just wondering), Gary & Matt, Zev & Justin, Sam & Dan, Mika & Canaan, Garrett & Jessica, Brian & Ericka, and Lance & Keri.

So Eric and Lisa don’t even make it to the airport on the first leg.  But they’re totally zen about it.  You see, they set the other teams free.  No, I’m not making that up.  They actually said that.  (You know, I’m kinda gonna miss them.)

For some reason that I really don’t understand, Maria and Tiffany have decided to say that they help homeless kids for a nonprofit instead of saying they lie to people and take their money for a living.  Okay, I guess I do understand.  What I don’t understand is how they thought they could keep it up for 21 days.  Although the more gullible of the teams (Sam & Dan) buy it, they are exposed when a guy at the airport recognizes them from a tournament which was aired on TV.  D’oh!  But at least those bluff-detection skills of theirs are totally working, which we know, because they think Sam & Dan are totally dreamy, and probably not gay.

The first, very short, leg of the journey took the teams to a faux Japanese game show called. . .Sushi Roulette!!  The teams have to spin a big Wheel of Fortune-like wheel, until you get a wasabi roll which is rice and seaweed wrapped around a pretty big ball of wasabi.  Then they have to eat the roll in under 2 minutes and then usher 20 tourists to the pit stop.  A few fail to get the sushi roll down under the time limit on the first try, including Maria.  Notably, Tiffany says that for a minute, she thought that Maria would just quit and walk out.  Which really tells us a lot about how this team will fare, doesn’t it?  Later, these poker players show they’re not that great at counting when they lose two of their tourists on the way to the pit stop.  They end up last, and incur a two hour penalty to boot.  Luckily (for them if not for us), the first leg is a non-elimination round.  Unless, of course, you’re Eric & Lisa.

On the second leg, Meghan and Cheyne (again, seriously, Cheyne?) are off first to Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam.  We also learn that Zev is not a people person.  I suppose I should mention that Zev has Asperger’s syndrome.  And he’s completely likeable.  Which means, that in the ranking of preferred disabilities had by Amazing Race contestants, Asperger’s syndrome totally trumps deafness.  Just sayin’.

Anyhoo. . . .

The Globetrotters say that they are generally nice, gregarious people, and they will use that to their advantage on the race.  Wait, I thought that being rich and successful meant that you had to make up a story about yourself so that people will think that you’re nice and gregarious.  Right, Maria & Tiffany?

In Vietnam, the teams have to take mud out of a mud pit and carry it to a tree so that the tree is nice and packed in.  Then, they have to head to a farm where they have to herd 150 ducks from a pen across a bridge to another pen in under 10 minutes.  Now, the show gives some wonderful reason why herding 150 ducks is related to Vietnamese farm life, but really all that matters here is that animal challenges offer excellent insights into a team’s temperament, and such insights are highly entertaining.

For example, we learn that herding ducks is apparently a woman’s task.  Both Meghan and Jessica take it for the team, which immediately allows Cheyne (okay, I’ll let it go) and Garrett to sit back and laugh at their expense.  Which sounds mean, but, really, it is a much better approach than Brian and Canaan, who pretty much just yell at their partners the whole time.  I guess ducks just don’t care much about Jesus Christ or the ability of love to cross racial boundaries.  Other teams do pretty well, most notably Matt, who simulates a duck call on the spot, and Zev, who is promptly given the nickname The Duck Whisperer.

It ends up coming down to Jessica, and Ericka (who is wearing a thong during this challenge, for those of you who care about such things).  Ultimately, Jessica and Garrett are last.  Garrett interviews that Jessica has a crazy temper and has trouble staying calm.  Yet, we never see Jessica get riled up, although we do see Garrett punch the wall when they hit the pit stop last.  Garret interviews that he still doesn’t know if they will get married.  Oh, just break up already.

So, in sum, I’ve got a team I love to hate, and a team I love to love.  These are good signs.  See you next week!

For another take on this episode, check out The “Amazing” Race by Cameron Cubbison.

Season 15, Episode 1: They Thought Godzilla Was Walking Down the Street (originally aired September 27, 2009)

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS, Robert Voets, and Monty Brinton

The “Amazing” Race

Yes, my use of quotation marks in the title is indicative of the sarcastic, mocking, and completely negative review of The Amazing Race season 15—gasp—premiere I intend to write forthwith. I need to get something on the record right away: I loathe reality television. I hate it, detest it, abhor it, condemn it, chastise it, lament it, have pathological feelings toward it…you name it. In The Rock, FBI Chemical Weapons Specialist Stanley Goodspeed, played winningly by Nicolas Cage, refers to VX poison gas as “one of those things we wish we could disinvent.” But as bad as that stuff is, reality television is worse. It’s an insipid abomination that is emblematic of so much that is wrong with our country. It’s the televisual enema that no one (or at least I) never asked for, but that everyone now can’t get enough of. It’s a mutant plague, a scumsucking phenomenon that has and continues to do its best to bastardize television to an all-new low.

Shows with merit that actually take risks and are based on, oh, silly little things like storytelling, dramatic structure, performances, and themes get cancelled because everyone is too busy watching America’s Next Top Gigolo. And the networks keep churning out more and more of this utter crap because it’s cheaper to make and easier to market. Reality tv (its very name is a misnomer; I don’t know whose reality is being referred to, certainly not mine; I’ve seen science fiction programming that seemed less staged and more realistic) came out of Pandora’s Box and it seems like it will never go away. So on that note, let’s talk about The Amazing Race!

The Amazing Race in some ways I suppose is one of the lesser evils in the world of reality television. It has the Jerry Bruckheimer brand name stamp, it has won multiple Emmys, and it offers viewers the chance to see parts of the world they might never see otherwise. The concept is simple enough: two-person teams race from destinations around the world, competing in a variety of physical and mental challenges, all vying for a big pot of money. When we go to the movies, we seek to watch characters go on physical and psychological journeys, to see them evolve over the course of the narrative. The Amazing Race then, ideally would be a compatible surrogate. The problem is, most of the “characters” aren’t likable or even interesting, and I could care less about going on this journey with them. I’ve rarely watched the show, but I talked to someone who has been a longtime fan of the show, and they said that last night’s premiere was the worst one they’ve ever seen. I’m not going to argue with that.

The show opens in Los Angeles, in the dam/underpass deal that the tanker truck chase scene was filmed in for Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Boy, do I wish that I had been watching that movie last night instead of this show. I was unaware going in that it was a two-hour premiere. When I discovered this fact, I nearly curled into a ball and sobbed like a six-year-old girl who just saw her tricycle get flattened by a tank.

Here, we meet the teams: Eric and Lisa, the married New Age yoga couple from hell. I’m afraid I have to mention that they’re not around very long, due to their rampant stupidity. After being the first team to get eliminated, they hold each other and look into the camera and mumble some ridiculous martyrdom hokum about how they lost so that they could “take a beating for everybody” and “set them free.” What a pile of crap. Not a fan.

Garrett and Jessica, who have been dating on and off for years and are going on this wonderful journey to see if they want to get married or tell each other to go jump off a cliff. I vote they both do the latter. Not a fan. They’re not around too much either.

Zev and Justin. Sorry about their names, but they seem to be the most decent and least obnoxious people on the show, thus far. Zev has Asperger’s but he and Justin do quite well for themselves, though Justin laughs just a little too camera-cutesy at everything Zev says.

Flight Time and Big Easy, Harlem Globetrotters who think that having that status means they don’t need to have real names. They’re all flash and show and boy, that may be somebody’s cup of tea but it sure ain’t mine. Not a fan. Start using real names you idiots! Not a fan.

Maria and Tiffany, those girls you love to hate! They’re poker players who do quite well for themselves, but they lie and tell everyone that they work at homeless shelters so that everyone will try to help them. It’s a shameless lie, and that’s almost why I like them. The downside is that they’re also whiny and obnoxious. Not a fan.

Gary and Matt are a father and son team, a father and son team from Montana. Everyone loves a family story; the problem is that Matt looks like the degenerate bastard child of Liberace and Charles Manson. Vote’s not in yet.

Sam and Dan, two brothers who have decided to keep the fact that they’re gay concealed from everyone else. There is nothing interesting about either of these people. Not a fan.

Marcy and Ron, two middle-aged people who should have given up dating long ago. Marcy is high-strung and obnoxious, Ron is instantly forgettable. Not a fan.

Brian and Ericka like to flaunt that they’re an interracial couple every time they’re onscreen. What do they want, a merit badge? Not a fan.

Mika and Canaan are the requisite country music-tootin,’ Bible-thumping blonde twits who sure hope that Jesus will guide them on the race. Gag me. Not a fan.

And of course there’s Lance and Keri, who are engaged. Ain’t that sweet! Nothing interesting about Keri, but Lance claims he’s a trial lawyer and likes to prance around and demonstrate that he’s spent a few hours in a yuppie health club. He also thinks he knows martial arts. Hey Lance, after you get your pompous ass kicked on this show, come find me and I’ll show you just how lacking your fitness and fighting skills are. It would be my personal pleasure. I won’t even charge you.

I’m sure I forgot someone but god I just don’t really care. The aforementioned specimens run around Tokyo and Vietnam eating sushi and herding ducks and whining. For two hours. That’s it in a nutshell. I don’t know about you, but I’m foaming at the mouth for more. Until next week…

For another take on this episode, check out Oh, the games they will play. . . by Alana D.

Season 15, Episode 1: They Thought Godzilla Was Walking Down the Street (originally aired September 27, 2009)

For more on The Amazing Race, click here.

Sundays at 8pm ET/PT on CBS

Photographs courtesy of CBS and Monty Brinton

Entourage: Scared Straight

Meltdowns all around.  The last episode of Entourage was an anxious one for a few of our friends.  Drama lived up to his name by completely disintegrating before his Melrose Place reading.  He’s exasperating and a total “drama king,” but I started to feel sorry for him when it looked as if he was really having a heart attack.  Turns out it was a false alarm, but the scare served as a wake-up call.  He now wants to take a step back from the hustle and bustle of Hollywood and stop to smell the roses.  I can dig that, but Drama is not a guy who can afford to take a break, career-wise.  Lloyd encourages him to get back on the saddle, but he refuses.  Losing his sole client is the least of Lloyd’s problems though, as Ari looks to buy Terrence’s agency in a fire sale.  He’s gonna make Adam Davies’ life a living hell, and Lloyd’s too.

Also spazzing out, but with good reason, is Eric.  Looks like the little hottie he’s been keeping time with post-Ashley has been around the block few times.  She and Drama are well-acquainted and he tells E that he thinks she “burnt” him. This is confirmed by Scott, the jerk at Eric’s agency who is all too happy to tell Eric that he just got down with the good-time girl.  Eric rushes off to the doctor to get tested, and is a bundle of nerves until the doctor tells him he’s in the clear.

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there people. Jamie-Lynn is all in a tizzy about leaving Turtle.  This storyline fascinates me because Jamie-Lynn is acting, but she’s playing herself and I don’t think she’s portraying herself in the best light.  You’re a star Jamie! Turtle is a sweetie-pie, but I think most people would agree that you’re the prize in this relationship, at least on paper.  Why are you acting like a regular, jealous, insecure chick? She is stressing out and being distrustful of Turtle, when he hasn’t given her any real reason to worry.  Yes, the pretty brunette sorority chick is feeling him and he accepted her friend request on Facebook – but it’s pretty one-sided.  He hasn’t done anything wrong.  Yet.  And he probably wouldn’t have, but Jamie-Lynn dumped him at the airport, so he has no reason not to now.  She’s created a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Turtle tried to stick with the relationship, but she couldn’t handle it. She’s so afraid that he will lose interest in her.  We’ll see where this goes.  I hear that the two are dating in real life, and I’d like to see her stick around.

I liked the way the episode ended.  Vince, who has been “getting it in” quite a bit lately, wants to hit the town because he’ll be away filming shortly, but Eric and Turtle take a pass.  They are lovesick.  Eric’s STD scare has reminded him that he’s a one-woman type of guy and that he wants Sloan back, whether she likes it or not.  Yes! I want them to get back together.  Turtle is heartbroken over Jamie-Lynn. I wish she hadn’t pushed him away.  Anyway, next week’s episode looks to be even better than this one.  I’m so glad that Entourage can still boast being one of the best shows on HBO.

For another take on this episode, read Break Downs, Build Up and Bud Bundy by Renata Sellitti.

Season 6, Episode 11: Scared Straight (originally aired September 27, 2009)

For more Entourage, click here.

Sundays at 10pm ET/PT on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO and IMDbPro

Heroes: Don’t Think It, “Ink” It

So the ink has dried on episode two, and things didn’t get any worse in terms of writing or storyline so that’s always a good sign. But things didn’t get better on the other hand, and I’m starting to think that everyone was right to have bailed on this sinking ship when they had the chance. Monday night’s episode had some intriguing new developments, so let’s just say I’ve put on my life vest but I’m not heading for the lifeboats just yet.

This week Heroes practically crawled, which was a good thing, because instead of hopping from character to character, we had the chance to focus on and develop a few. Matt battled with the demons in his head, while Peter came face to face with the circus ringleader Samuel. And Claire came clean with her new friend Gretchen. And we meet a new character with some unique powers.

CLAIRE BEAR’S ALL GROWN UP
After seeing Claire put herself back together after jumping out a window, Gretchen starts calling her like an ex-boyfriend who just won’t get the hint. Claire does a good job of avoiding her until Noah shows up and invites Gretchen out to lunch with them. Being the snarky girl that she is, Gretchen takes every chance to rub it in Claire’s face that she knows something is up, but Noah’s too smart not to realize that it’s not every day that a college girl gushes about someone she saw on YouTube that can’t feel pain. Noah confronts Claire when he thinks she let her secret slip and says they’ll need the Haitian to erase Gretchen’s memory, but Claire confirms that it’s not what he thinks and even if it were, she’s old enough to decide who to trust.

It takes Gretchen opening up about being teased in high school for being bulimic, something very deep and personal, to convince Claire that she can confide in her. And she’s genuinely happy once she does. The two get closer emotionally and physically, foreshadowing the girl-on-girl action to come. Gretchen even suggest they become roommates but I can’t see anything good coming out of kissing a girl, liking it and living with them!

GET OUT OF MY HEAD
I feel so sorry for Parkman because he really is a good guy who just happens to get himself into the worst situations when he’s not even trying to. That’s also a pretty big problem when it comes to the show because no matter how long we watch these characters, they fall into the same pattern over and over again. Where’s Hiro at this point? He’s figuring out how to fulfill his destiny and become a true hero. Nothing new there. Sylar keeps popping into Matt’s head and messing with him. Matt believes he can just tune him out and ignore him since Sylar’s powerless, but Sylar makes it clear that he’s not powerless and he won’t go away so easily.

When Matt and his partner attempt to arrest a drug dealer at his home, Sylar plays a sick mind game on him. First he helps Matt find the dealer, saves him from getting shot by alerting him that the perp has a gun but then leads him to find a kidnapping note (fake) and a dead body under the stairs (false, as well.) Matt isn’t clued into this game until he’s already beat the guy to a pulp and his partner is looking at him with eyes that say what have you done. The beating is so bad that Matt has to use his powers to erase his partner’s memory, a power he’s worked hard not to use. He might have saved his job at this time, but he lost a lot of his dignity. Point, Sylar.

THE BOY WITH THE SAVIOR COMPLEX
And Peter has some strife of his own. When a William Hopper sues Peter, complaining that he’s out of work because Peter manhandled him during his last rescue, things start to spin out of control. His co-workers start wondering if he really is the hero he seems to be or if he may have started all the trouble himself to “look” like a hero. And it looks even more suspicious because he doesn’t remember William Hopper being at the scene or on the log so he denies it vehemently.

What we learned earlier was that Samuel not only controls the earth but also ink. He takes a little pool of ink in through his fingers before leaving his tattooed lady Lydia and the circus behind. He even sneaks into Peter’s apartment and uses the ink to place himself into a picture from the accident that Peter clipped out of the newspaper. The end game to all this running around is to find someone to replace his dead brother Joseph who apparently is like his compass. It hasn’t been fully divulged what this compass does for him besides give him peace of mind, and but now Samuel’s figured out a way to sink his hands into Hiro and Peter. Two down.

He hits Peter where it hurts and that’s his heart and his guilty conscience. Peter is convinced “William” wasn’t there until he returns home and finds the doctored photo. That’s when he starts feeling really bad and finds “William” to apologize. Samuel shares with him that he lost his brother, and Peter shares that he wanted a turn at saving people as a paramedic instead of watching people die as a hospice nurse. And that’s all Samuel needs to know to recognize that he’s the guy that he’s been looking for. But before he goes, he drops the suit, shakes his hand and says that Peter’s exactly who he hoped he’d be.

Then, Samuel’s off to visit the house he and his brother grew up in. His father was a butler, and they lived in the carriage house, but since the new residents are throwing a grand party of their own, the lady of the house won’t give him the time of day. As a thank you for her time, he creates a sinkhole that sucks the house into oblivion, though I didn’t hear any ‘your welcomes’ in return. Samuel is definitely giving Sylar a run for his money in the best Heroes villain category.

NEW GIRL IN TOWN
Peter runs into a deaf woman just as her powers are starting to emerge. At first you don’t really know what Emma’s, played by Deanne Bray, deal is. I kept thinking how can she just act like it’s normal that her alarm clock also makes her bed vibrate. In what world is that normal? But, apparently, it is in the deaf world. Emma starts to see bright light, and the doc thinks that it may just be heightened senses, but by the end of the episode we realize she is seeing sound depicted in this bright light.

When she first runs into Peter, the look he gives her when he realizes the unresponsive person he’s been trying to have a conversation with is actually deaf, is the look that she tries so hard to avoid every day. But when she comes across a cello and the amazing amount of light it emits, she can’t help but play it. The people who surround her don’t have pity in their eyes but amazement, but when Peter shows up again she’s reminded once again and runs. Me thinks this is not the last we or Peter will see of Emma.

WRAP IT UP
So in the end it wasn’t a horrible episode, and I like where they’re taking Samuel and Peter and the introduction of this new Emma character. Yet, I’m not sure two new storylines and one improved one is enough to save the show. I’ll stick with it for the whole season because I’m not one to give up, so I guess we have awhile to see what happens. Here’s hoping that episode four, which will undoubtedly focus more on Tracy and Hiro most likely, reinvents those characters in new and creative ways that will keep me excited or at least hopeful.

Season 4, Episodes 3: Ink (originally aired September 28, 2009)

For more on Heroes, click here.

Mondays at 9/8C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal, Justin Lubin, Chris Haston

Gossip Girl: I Hear the Secrets That You Keep

Blair returns to the dorm after class to find a bulked up and shirtless Dan borrowing a copy of Georgina’s Our Bodies, Ourselves, and by that I mean going to first base.  Blair storms out and then Dan leaves, only to run into Serena and Vanessa with his shirt still open and they both want the details on what he’s doing with Georgina.  Vanessa thinks Scott’s been lying about his classes and he’s cryptic on the phone with her; when he hangs up, we pan out to see he’s getting private guitar lessons with Papa Rufus at the apartment.  But Baby J and Eric interrupt before he can tell Rufus who he really is.

Downtown Carter corners Serena but they’re interrupted by some girl who says they hooked up last month.  He brushes her off, she slaps him, and Serena wants to be left alone right now.  Speaking of creepy cover stories, Manhattan’s favorite busybody Vanessa confirms that Scott’s not enrolled at NYU.  Uh oh!

Blair goes to Chuck’s hotel room with some caramel apple thing and a side of afternoon delight, but Chuck rebuffs her advances because he has a business meeting in a few.  Blair is less than pleased considering it’s been five days since they had relations.  So she leaves but knocks over some mail, finding an invitation to La TableElitaire.

Vanessa confronts Scott about why he’s not enrolled at NYU.  He says it’s complicated and then explains the complication, i.e., he’s the lost dauphin of the Lily-Rufus dynasty.  Vanessa tells him how Rufus and Lily went looking for him and how Scott’s parents lied about his death.  He asks her to keep this secret until he has time to talk to his parents.   So of course Vanessa dances around the topic when she meets Dan for coffee, and then she leaves when Georgina shows up (having been s-exiled by Blair and Chuck “making time for each other,” at least until they realize they both have been planning things behind each others’ backs).  Georgina suggests Dan find out who Scott really is, and through some quick Googling, they find out Scott’s real last name and a silly soccer team photo of him.  Dan also remembers that Scott wrote him a letter after reading his article in the New Yorker. Cut to Scott telling Vanessa that he’s going to tell the truth, even if his parents don’t like it.  Clearly, we’re setting this up for another Dan-Vanessa fight based on trust issues.

And now it’s time for the weekly Gossip Girl party!  This week we’re going to an auction, and even Nate (is he still on the show?) and Bree are going and taking their secretive relationship public.  Blair and Chuck are competing for the same photo at the auction: Blair needs it to get into La TableElitaire and Chuck needs it to help impress a restaurateur.  Oh and Scott’s mother walks in for no reason, except to create more drama later on, only she says that she’s there to support what he’s going to do.  And in her support for Scott, he decides to tell Rufus that he’s just the brother of the son Rufus thought died.  So we’re left with Vanessa knowing the truth (and forced to lie) and Rufus thinking he never needed to lie about this.  When the truth finally comes out later this season (and you know it will), it’s going to make Jenny’s breakdown look like a walk in the park.

Meanwhile, the auction between Blair and Chuck takes off like a race, but they get so distracted talking about how they don’t need to bribe anyone to get what they want, and then we see that Serena out bid them both.  Serena turns the tables and says she knows that Blair and Chuck have been setting up Carter for financial troubles and it comes out that Serena spent the summer with Carter trying to find her father.  She walks off and notices Blair’s invitation to La TableElitaire, specifically the “G”s which are the handiwork of Georgina.  Oh yes, Georgina has been setting up Blair all episode.  As the auction ends, we’re left with Georgina watching everyone leave and getting that psychotic look of manipulation that makes everyone shudder.

The next day, Dan’s confronting Georgina about what she did to Blair and Chuck (which really wasn’t much, right).  He tells her for the second time that he wants to cool things off.  Scott also wants to cool things off with Vanessa because he’s going back to Boston; Vanessa doesn’t want to keep this secret and hopes he’ll come back and tell them.  Don’t worry, he won’t have to since Georgina is around the corner listening to the whole conversation–and she’s off to Boston to find out more.

We end with Serena and Carter making up since the only reason why they fought was because of Blair and Chuck.  And Chuck’s tired of trying to get a club in a hotel and opting, instead, to buy a hotel and he’s planning on cashing in his company shares to make it happen all because Blair believed in him and his funny elven pink shoes.

Is it me or are there too many plots going on in each episode?  I’m following everything but the stories are stretching too thin or just plain boring.  Where’s the excitement?  Where’s the joy?  And where the hell is Dorota?!?

Next week: Tyra Banks and Hilary Duff!

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 3, Episode 3: The Lost Boy (originally aired September 28, 2009)

For more on Gossip Girl, click here.

Mondays at 8/7C, The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW, Giovanni Rufino

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