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The Final Destination 3D

Final Destination Movie Scene_2 Overlay

It’s Final Destination time, kids!

Let’s be clear at the start – the only reason to watch a Final Destination film is because you’re already a fan of these fun, ridiculous, zero plot movies (there’s not too much to recommend in this film, unless you’re already a fan).  If you’re looking for a great horror film with lots of suspense and scares, then this is not for you.  But if you’re into spectacle and over the top gore-fest, then come right this way.

The acting is more atrocious then ever, with Nick Zano as possibly the highest profile actor in the bunch (although Krista Allen has a pretty impressive IMDB lineup, assuming you recognize her).  Lord knows how Bobby Campo landed the lead role.  He walks through the movie reciting his lines, but you wouldn’t have known that any of his friends died – emotion must not have been required for the part.  There are too many plot holes to count, and there is absolutely nothing believable about the characters’ reactions, choices, or emotions.  But who cares?  The line readings are laughably funny (as opposed to genuinely funny) and only add to the experience.

Since The Final Destination movies never deviate from the basic plot, we know that everyone in the opening moments is in mortal danger (involved in some type of group catastrophe/tragedy) but will be saved only to die later in the film, one by one.  This time around, it’s a car crash at a Nascar-type racing event (and no, I will not make the requisite “dead rednecks are the best kinds of rednecks” joke, because then rednecks will start emailing me, too. People get so angry, don’t they?) where our boy Nick O’Bannon (Campo) saves his friends and a few other audience members (including, according to the credits: “Racist”).  Per usual, Nick and friends discover that Death is systematically killing off the survivors.  They, in turn, race to find a way to stop Death’s plan before they all end up his next victim.

Final Destination Movie Scene_3 Overlays

And so begins (and ends) Chapter 4 of The Final Destination.

The deaths are inventive, fun, suitably gory, and in 3D!  The director, David R. Ellis, uses the 3D aspect well, flinging nails, fire, guts, car parts and champagne corks at his audience.  Early on the technique is a little distracting, when something flew at my face I actually blinked and therefore missed an early death.  So yes, it’s slightly overused, but possibly more effective than in other 3D movies of the past year (I’m thinking My Bloody Valentine, since Up didn’t see the need to send a tire crashing into Mr. Fredricksen’s head and therefore doesn’t qualify).

The creative death scenes are the only real reason to see the film.  Although it should be noted that this fictional town may not have been visited by a vengeful Death at all.  The OSHA violations outnumber the deaths from all four FD movies combined – between the dilapidated buildings and the construction sites, this movie is what happens when people take shortcuts and don’t keep up on repairs.  Nearly all the deaths involved faulty construction.

The opening credits contain a nice montage of deaths from the earlier movies, and the nods to previous films (specifically Flight 180) are sprinkled throughout.  I found myself flinching and cringing more than once, and having just as good a time here as I did watching G.I. Joe, and probably for the same reasons.  If you know what you’re walking into, you can have a grand ol’ time no matter how bad the story.  If you’re not a fan of the previous installments, stay away.  However, if you are (and I know you’re out there), pay a little extra for the 3D glasses.  Thank me later!

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