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Real Housewives of Atlanta: Did Lisa Really Just Say That?

Thanks to this week’s episode of Real Housewives of the A-T-L, I can never look at pocketbooks the same way again. Plus, I’m still traumatized by Lisa’s potty mouth ways.  Anyone who saw the action this week knows exactly what I’m talking about when I say that Lisa’s powers of speech should now be curtailed after she flung around a word that is not very ladylike, to say the least. While we’re on the topic of people who should no longer be allowed to talk, can I nominate Shereè too? No? Fine, can’t blame a girl for trying.

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Kandi and Lisa this week took part in the new production of the “Pocketbook Monologues”, which is apparently Atlanta’s version of the “Vagina Monologues”, which I’d love to comment on but neither of those things interest me in the least bit. Lisa did alright, for someone who had no charisma on stage and had recently learned to speak, zing! Kandi knocked her speech out of the park though, portraying an HIV-postive prostitute who had been molested. Powerful stuff, Kandi, I have to tip my hat. Even Dwight was blown away, and he’s usually pretty underwhelmed by everything the ladies do. Kandi didn’t have time to bask in the glow of her performance, though, she was too busy trying to dodge bullets and stay out of the battle that was about to erupt between Kim and NeNe – more on that, later.

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Photos by BravoTV.com

Meanwhile, Kim tells her friend Cori that her on again off again beau, Big Papa, is on again…again. After her brush with death at the alter-ego party where she (gasp) fell down 3 stairs and hurt her ankle, he told her to go pamper herself and sent Kim and her daughters off to the Bahamas for a vacation. He even managed to steal away from his own wife and family for a day to meet up with them and take her out to dinner, what a stand up guy! Kim, clearly fiending for another shopping spree, decided to let Big Papa back into her life because she “needs a provider for her girls.” Um, Kim, here’s the thing: YOU’RE supposed to provide for your girls, and not in a way that utilizes your giant boobs. There are these things called “jobs”, and lots of people have them. Ugly people in your opinion, granted, but it is a commonly accepted form of income. Oh, and then Kim went shopping for some new jewelry and all was right in the universe again.

Photo by BravoTV.com

Photos by BravoTV.com

So Shereè finally got to have her “Independence party”, and it only took her 2 years of divorce proceedings and one party planner casualty to get there! To mark her own fabulousness (as if she needed another excuse to do that), she decided that the centerpiece of her festivities should be a wall-sized portrait of herself. Right, because that’s exactly what the world needs, more of Shereè. The artist she commissioned to paint the masterpiece told her he could see into her soul and there was nothing superficial about her, and her own mom thought the portrait captured her “innocence.”  I’m just wondering, were we all looking at the same portrait? Because I thought it captured her vanity and narcissism quite well, but I don’t know about all the rest of that. The painting was unveiled at her big fiesta, only that wasn’t the only highlight of the night – NeNe and Kim threw down, and then NeNe and Kandi had it out, too. Damn, NeNe was on a tear – I guess getting cut out of Kim’s “Tardy for the Party” track didn’t sit well with her. She should be happy that she’s not tied to that project, however, because rumor has it that Kandi’s producer is suing Kim because she never paid him and therefore doesn’t own the rights to the song. Yikes.

Even though this episode contained the two main ingredients for success – a catfight and a Dwight appearance – it still seemed lackluster to me. The scenes for next week reveal a big joint birthday party between Kim and Kandi, a surprise gift from Big Papa, NeNe holding a grudge against Kim (shocker), and Kandi having pre-performance jitters. I have a feeling that that may be it for season 2, though, since no other episode information is available after that. Looks like a knock-down-drag-out reunion show could be on the horizon soon, Housewife fans, so get excited.

Season 2, Episode 9: Precious Pocketbook (originally aired September 24 2009)

For more on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, click here

Thursdays at 10pm on Bravo

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal and Quantrell Colbert

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