America’s Next Top Model: Make Me Tall

This week’s ANTM theme: Karma. Also, someone challenges Bianca’s status as this cycle’s villain. Could I have been wrong about Bianca being the biggest bitch in the house?

Ashley interviews that she doesn’t want her training as a dancer to hurt her progress which it seemed to do last week. Then she comments about hating Bianca, and we’re all on board because Bianca’s a bitch, yo. Nicole follows that up with sad eyes and basically clues us in that Ashley’s a nasty Gossip Girl, with Lulu as her little “delusional” sidekick. Then it’s Ashley and Lulu talking about everyone for the rest of the episode.

We learn that Bianca likes and misses Courtney, until Sundai breaks it down and tells her that Courtney used to talk to Lulu behind Bianca’s back. Bianca wonders why Lulu didn’t tell her. Ashley doesn’t like Brittany’s “forgettable” runway walk, and basically, doesn’t like Brittany whether she’ll admit it or not. She’s also tired of “negative” Bianca.

When Nicole tries to befriend Bianca, Ashley warns her away because Nicole is “naïve.” Thankfully, Nicole may be awkward but she has her own mind. For her part, Bianca reveals her history with an abusive boyfriend to Nicole. While I don’t doubt that this happened, we’ll find out if it’s later used as an excuse for all of her awful behavior. Maybe in a very special Tyra-counseling episode.

Now that that nonsense is out of the way, the girls meet up with Ms. J for a runway teach. Pint-sized Diva Davanna shows the girls that height don’t mean a thing and walks with more attitude then Bianca can dish out at her best. The girls then walk for Ms. J and receive critiques. Most notably, Ms. J hates Lulu’s walk, loves Brittany’s surprising sexiness, and Ashley walks too much like a dancer. Later, Ashley and Lulu try “to help” Brittany with her runway walk, but Brittany gives up on them, because … come on, would you listen to those two?

It’s challenge time! The next day, the girls arrive at a mansion in Malibu to walk a fashion show for Kevan Hall. The twist? Our shorties will be paired with girls 5’10” and above. Ann Shoket appears to announce that the winner will do a prom spread for Seventeen. Kentucky emphasizes how utterly, utterly amazing that would be. At least for her, because you know, her mama always told her that every walkway is a runway. So work it, girl!

Most of the girls do well, with Ashley even saying that they showed the tall girls up. Not even a little, but okay. Afterwards, the girls receive critiques. Lulu and Ashley hear negative notes, and Brittany ultimately wins. She chooses Kentucky and Kara to join her in the Seventeen spread.

Photo shoot. The girls work on a set that will help them appear taller. Lulu and Ashley continue to talk smack about Brittany specifically, and others presumably. Brittany’s up first with the other girls watching. Jay thinks she shortened all of her proportions, and Lulu talks about how poorly she thinks Brittany did. Kara has potential, and Laura struggles a little bit. Jay calls Lulu’s shoot her worst, “boring, boring, just about got it…ish.” Jennifer is “stunning,” and she nails it. Nicole also has an easy time. Ashley surprises Jay by doing well and progressing. Sundai and Rae have problems with facial expressions, and Erin is “disgustingly gorgeous.” Jay pulls a soft expression out of Bianca when he asks her about what warms her heart. Answer: Jesus.

Brittany feels she’s safe at panel because she won the challenge (and that’s just stupid) while Lulu and Ashley gossip again about how poorly Brittany did. They guess she’s going home. Let’s see what happens!

Judging. Guest judge: Jaime Rishar. Erin’s photo wows the judges and succeeds at making her look taller. Bianca’s photo shows her vulnerability, so the panel is happy with this new side of her. Brittany looks short in her photo, but at least she’s smizing (oh lord, Tyra). Sundai looks “stunning” and relaxed with presence. Kentucky also shortens herself in her photo, but Jennifer has a “beautiful” picture. Tyra says she can’t see Jennifer’s eye problem and says “Ptosis is something you have that’s nobody else’s business.” Except when we choose to highlight it on television for nearly an entire episode. Nicole blows the judges away by looking at least six feet tall, helped by a super-long dress. Lulu looks pretty and “average,” but not fashion. Kara literally wows Nigel, and Jaime calls it one of the best so far. Rae also looks short in her picture. Ashley elongates slightly, but loses it with her expression.

After deliberation, we line them back up and called first: Kara. Well, I’m surprised. Bottom two: Lulu and Brittany. That’s just about perfect. Lulu is pretty but lacks tension in photos, while Brittany might be a fluke. Going home: Lulu. Some people call that karma. I say thank goodness. There are some aspects of high school we shouldn’t have to watch again on television.

Next week: Tyra’s taking the photos. Already!

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 13, Episode 4: Make Me Tall (originally aired September 23, 2009)

For more on America’s Next Top Model, click here.

Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW, Firooz Zahedi, and Michael Desmond.