Mad Men: It’s not adorable to pretend like you’re not adorable

Wow, that was a doozy. Not as much of a literal bloodbath as last week, but not that far off, either.

Don is blackmailed by Bertram, betrayed by unethical soon-to-be hippies, mocked to his face by Suzanne Farrell, and reprimanded on workplace etiquette by Conrad Hilton. He responds by lashing out at Peggy (who then goes and sleeps with Duck!!!); engaging in reckless drinking, driving, and drugging; grunting audibly at his hallucinated father; and generally moping around for the entire episode. It’s the least likeable Don has been in a while, which is actually kind of refreshing. I mean, so far this year the worst we’ve really seen him do was that one one-night stand back in the season premiere, which for Don is roughly the equivalent of, say, forgetting to say his prayers before bed one night.

But let’s start out by discussing that Peggy/Duck fiasco, since that seems to be all anyone’s talking about anyway.

You’ll recall that Duck has been trying to woo Peggy and Pete away from Sterling Cooper and over to his new agency. He’s being quite persistent still, sending over Cuban cigars and Hermès scarves. Pete is resisting like that girl he met at the freshman mixer. Peggy does the same, showing a loyalty to SC even in the face of Don’s unwarranted outburst that I don’t understand, but probably just because I can’t relate to that whole thing where it was 1963 and once you got a job you stayed in it for the next 40 years (see also: Paul Kinsey). She goes to see Duck in his hotel room to turn him down personally, though, and gets herself seduced in the process. Raise your hand if you saw that coming.

Have we ever had reason to see Duck as a sexual being before? Maybe that’s what squicked me (and, apparently, everyone else) so much about that sequence. It wasn’t the age difference; compared to Roger/Jane, the twenty-odd years separating Peggy and Duck are mere trifles.

Or maybe it’s just that his name is Duck. Peggy, you know I love you, and I’m happy for you for finally getting some non-self-hatred-induced action, but sweetie, your mother really should’ve warned you never to sleep with any man named after a type of waterfowl.

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let’s take this shocking new development seriously. What are Duck’s motives here? Surely he’s not doing it just to get her to come work for him; Peggy’s a good copywriter, but as Don so cruelly pointed out, she’s got room to grow. Is Duck simply trying to hurt Don by stealing his favorites, as Pete adorably thinks? If so, why would he be trying to get Pete too? We the audience know Don would probably be somewhat sad to lose either Peggy or Pete, and that he would be both irritated and amused to learn that Duck had been the poacher, but maybe Duck is anticipating harsher consequences, since he never really understood Don in the first place? Or maybe, and best of all for my girl Peggy, Duck’s motives are purely of the lustful variety. You go, Uncle Herman.

As for Peggy, I think we can safely write off her night of fun to the garden-variety liking to be wanted, liking “adventure,” etc. And maybe she kind of likes Duck, too. After seeing her latest hot prospect spray blood all over her colleagues, I can see how she might be casting a wide eye these days.

And by the way, did Peggy really think no one was going to notice her rocking the same fabulous pleated-skirt-and-cardigan combo two days in a row? Or maybe that was the point, actually. Peggy wants people (and, I suspect, one person in particular) to think she has a life.

All right, now let’s talk about the rest of the episode.

Last week’s accident wasn’t even mentioned, unless I missed it, but Conrad Hilton is turning into the season’s “Save the cheerleader, save the world” motif. He wants to cheat on his existing ad agency with Don. Don’s thrilled, until the SC overlords (Bertram, Roger, and Pryce) use the Hilton account as an excuse to force Don into signing a contract. Don spends the rest of the episode stalling without coming up with any concrete strategies to get out of it, and then finally gives in when Bertram looks him in the face and says, “Would you say I know something about you, Don?” It’s by far the worst thing we’ve seen Bertram do (well, I guess sympathizing with Admiral’s racism was worse, but you know what I mean). Don signs, announcing as he does so that he doesn’t want to ever talk to Roger again. The two of them had already been reduced to discussing the weather, and as part of the contract shenanigans Roger had even stooped so low as to call Betty, which was arguably just as bad as Bertram’s blackmail maneuver. (Betty responded to him by displaying the utmost loyalty to Don, earning the first “you go, girl!” she’s gotten from me all season… and then proceeded to do exactly what Roger wanted, reminding Don in a fairly mean (but justifiable, really) tone that his career moves do, actually, impact Betty’s life. Like, a lot.)

Despite all the harsh tactics he was subjected to, I was shocked when Don finally did sign the contract. I was actually muttering out loud at the TV, “Don’t sign, don’t sign!” Which is impressive, since I’m totally on Betty’s side in that argument (even though I’d like to think I’m less snotty about it than she is). But it’s a testament to how well the show and Jon Hamm have infused Don with such strength as a character that I’m on his side even when I know he’s wrong.

Which reminds me. I’ve been putting off doing a character discussion on Betty, because of all the characters on the show she’s the one I find hardest to relate to.[*] But now she’s heading down a path toward her very own ongoing adultery storyline (and here I’ll admit I’m again tempted to offer up a “You go, girl!” even though I know how very wrong that would be), and it seems like it’s time. So.

Everyone on the show has had major character growth between the pilot and the present day, but Betty’s is certainly the most dramatic, at least of the main characters. In season 1, she was essentially an alien. She was deep into that functional-yet-deeply-depressed state that made it impossible for viewers to tell what she was feeling, since she didn’t even seem to know for sure herself. It’s kind of shocking that a character like that was allowed to exist on TV, actually. Someday, maybe (well, okay, probably not), she’ll be thankful for Don’s affairs, since that was apparently what it took to turn her from a weird, pretty robot into a human being. Her depressive period in season 2, the one where she didn’t comb her hair for a week, at least seemed like a normal person’s depressive period, not like she’d walked off the set of Village of the Damned. Now, she seems pretty much in control of her life, whether that means choosing for herself how to grieve over her father’s death or redecorating her living room (which looked so gorgeous by the way; I wonder if her decorator’s still in business?). Consequently, this season is by far the most I’ve ever liked Betty, even if she still drives me bonkers more often than not (“She’s a child. She’ll get over it”).

As for Mr. Henry Francis, I find him completely unappealing. But that’s only one of the many many ways in which I do not see the world the way Betty does. In addition the obvious motive of enjoying his attention (because really, Betty and Peggy aren’t all that different when you peel down far enough), I wonder if her dad’s line from a few episodes ago isn’t still running through her mind – you know, the “That’s probably why you married this joker. If only you’d known what was possible!” I can totally see Betty translating that into “I could have had this relatively hot lawyer-turned-rich-political-dude-whose-job-I-don’t-understand, so let’s flirt with him now and see how long he keeps flirting back.” It’s several steps up from last season’s 22-year-old trust fund kid, at least. Let’s just hope it ends before Betty decides she needs to get even with Don on the quantity front, because Rachel Mencken was a lot more fun to watch than this Republican bozo.

Also this week: Pete has the insider knowledge on the escalation of U.S. military involvement in Vietnam, and could not possibly care less, except as it relates to his chances of getting to work on the Hilton account. Don’s as-yet-unnamed secretary is beautiful and seems to be excellent at her job, and I’m dying to learn her story. Suzanne Farrell has interesting fashion sense and was rivaling Don this week for unlikeability. And I’m totally going to start saying “Stop coming in here and infecting me with your anxiety!” to people.

Anyway, I’ve got to go spend time with my family reading the Bible. Later.

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[*] The easiest is probably Harry. Which is really, really embarrassing.

Season 3, Episode 7: Seven Twenty Three (originally aired September 27, 2009)

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Photographs courtesy of AMC and Carin Baer