America’s Best Dance Crew: We Have A Winner! Ho hum.

And that’s it! Season 4 of America’s Best Dance Crew has come to an end, and I really appreciate that. I mean, I really appreciate you. I mean, all those fine dancers out there, I appreciate you trying to make this the best season yet, even if the producers sabotaged you from the beginning.

But why rehash the mid-season commentary? It’s finale time, and I was half right. AfroBorike sails into the final two, up against We Are Heroes. Massive Monkees did make it to the top three, but fell short in what was, ultimately, a whole season that fell short.

While most of the crews could never have stepped up to the talent of Seasons One or Three, they did improve their level of performances at the mid-season break. The producers gave the crews a few great challenges this time around (the VMA challenge, Decades of Dance Challenge) but I’ll never understand why we needed to include a trampoline. It seemed a bit unnecessary, but it did bring out some great tricks.

And so, after mid-season, we said good bye to Rhythm City, Vogue Evolution (right before the chance to dance to Madonna’s Vogue. Sadly ironic.), and Massive Monkees, with the Monkees dueling WAH for the final spot in the finale. It could have gone either way as both crews delivered good performances, though the judges felt that MM weren’t fighting quite as hard. Because this is a street battle, in case anyone’s forgotten, and I kind of like it when Shane Sparks reminds us of that. This isn’t some dance show on Fox or ABC. These are kids who won’t have the same chances as a lot of other people out there to make their dreams a reality. So the fight and desire to win needs to be a lot stronger, and not just for a shot at 15 minutes of fame.

Let’s take a moment to revisit a couple of highlights. The VMA challenge aired right before the VMAs, and I enjoyed ABDC’s inevitable Michael Jackson tribute much more than I did the one that aired at the VMAs. Maybe because I felt more connected to the crews, and they felt more connected to the music, rather than the background dancers at the VMAs who get paid to dance whatever anyone tells them to (not that you can blame an employed dancer).

(And was it me, or has it been a little weird watching Lil’ Mama since that incident at the VMA’s? I hate to even bring it up, because I love her as a judge on this show (I really appreciate you too, Lil’ Mama) and I don’t like her image tarnished by such a ridiculous moment but who on Earth thinks it’s okay to rush Jay-Z onstage? I can’t help but think she’s a little crazy ever since. It’s like she turned into Paula Abdul on us, and look at Paula now. Thankfully, Lil’ Mama returned to ABDC with herself intact and The Incident firmly behind us. But I still can’t help but think…)

Other highlights: AfroBorike’s face crotch dance, Massive Monkees doing James Brown and Lady GaGa, Massive Monkees doing the Ricky Bobby, and AfroBorike rocking the sexy lifts just as well as the kids over on SYTYCD. Obviously, uh, I had my favorites.

As for the Last Chance performances in the battle of the poppers vs. the sex, AfroBorike felt their routine was strong and showcased their roots, but it didn’t demonstrate their skill, creativity or technique. While it showed their intensity, it didn’t capture the flavor that won us over all season long. Meanwhile, WAH gave us a flame-filled, entertaining routine that probably looked more amazing considering what it was up against.

Am I not selling the finale as the great, amazing, dance-defining extravaganza it was supposed to be? Eh. It really wasn’t. But we did have a winner, and in case you missed it, We Are Heroes became ABDC’s first all female crew to win the title. I enjoyed watching women with some sick moves win, but let’s face it: these ladies are no Beat Freaks, who could outperform WAH in about two seconds. In that regard, AfroBorike should have won for bringing such strong originality to the table. But maybe the fans felt robbed when Beat Freaks lost last season (I did), and it’s still nice to see such a talented group of ladies win $100,000 and represent for girl power. AfroBorike brought us more of something we hadn’t seen before, at least not in such a mainstream, young environment, and though they didn’t win, I believe their influence will be felt far beyond the end of ABDC, Season 4.

In other bits and pieces, the directors and producers continue to do an injustice to the performances with their crazy angles and sliding cameras. It makes me long to watch some of these performances live and in person from behind the judges’ table (call me, Lil’ Mama!). Speaking of weird MTV habits, in the finale, why was the audience behind Mario Lopez mostly women with various amounts of skin showing?

Other questions for you the viewer:

Did the right crew win?

What were your favorite performances and moments from Season 4? Let me know what I missed!

After a lackluster season, will you keep the faith and watch when the show returns in January? If the show holds true to form, next season will rock. I know I’ll be there.

Season 4, Episode 8: Live Finale (originally aired September 27, 2009)

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For more on America’s Best Dance Crew, click here.

Sundays at 9pm ET/PT on MTV

Photographs courtesy of MTV and PictureGroup

Entourage: Break Downs, Build Up and Bud Bundy

This week’s episode had everything: Turtle crying actual Turtle tears, Drama peeing himself and even a cameo from Bud Bundy. What more could you ask for? The penultimate episode of season 6 was rife with action and set us up nicely for next week’s finale. Here’s a rundown of how things shook out:

It was bound to happen – E and Drama’s female conquests finally overlapped. I think this plot line would have been a little more believable if the audience could actually buy the idea of E being a ladies’ man without breaking into uncontrollable laughter. Disturbed by the news that the girl he recently rolled around with has kept company with half the males in LA (the Rick Salomon mention made me shudder), E decides to hightail it to the doctor’s office to get checked out. I guess Drama pointing out that even he had taken her for a test drive didn’t sit well with E, who spent the rest of the show worrying that he contracted a disease and then swearing off dating random women all together. Good idea, E, besides – the close encounter with a doctor’s office Q-tip has left him scarred for life anyway. Then E had another revelation: get Sloan back. He apparently thinks that even though she’s been playing him all season that she somehow still wants to rekindle things, but I do admire his persistence. Good luck with that, E, and if it doesn’t work out you always have your hot assistant to fall back on.

Speaking of males who should’ve been more persistent, Turtle said goodbye to Jamie-Lynn this week, as she packed and left for New Zealand. After enjoying a thoughtful final meal together (Turtle won sweetness points for that one), Jamie-Lynn learns that he has recently “friended” the UCLA sorority slut on Facebook who has been trying to steal him away all semester. Turtle agrees to delete her from his friend list, and Jamie-Lynn spends the whole episode crying and saying that she didn’t want to go (hint hint). I realize that Turtle assuring her that she should, in fact, take the job was the upstanding thing to do, but sometimes women don’t want upstanding. Sometimes we want romantic grand gestures, Turtle, and when she told you that you could see other women while she was gone that was your cue to stop her. Instead Turtle just got teary-eyed (I was impressed that Jerry Ferrara could actually cry on cue frankly) and let her leave, and then spent the rest of the time moping and realizing that he was still in the cross hairs of that sorority girl. It’s only a matter of time before Turtle slips up and falls to the dark side – don’t do it Turtle! Jamie-Lynn is a keeper, and sooner or later Turtle will end up just like E in a doctor’s office praying that he didn’t catch something from the slutty chick (does she have a name even?) and kicking himself. Next week the trashy girl makes her move, and I think we all know where this one is headed, sigh…

Ari gets a visit from his arch-nemesis and former employer Terence, who offers him first refusal on buying his company out. Ari scoffs at the hefty price tag and then does some digging to figure out if he’s being played by Terence once more. He learns that Terence’s wife discovered he’s cheating and is going to try and take him for all he’s worth in a divorce, hence the quick attempt to unload his company and protect his assets. Ari uses that knowledge as leverage to storm into Terence’s office and insist upon a low ball offer, which Terence reluctantly accepts. Things will definitely get interesting once Miller Gold takes over a business where Adam Davies and Lloyd are both employed – if I were them I’d be shaking in my loafers. Ari shouts one final threat to Lloyd on his way out of the office and then starts plotting his takeover of the management world. I love episodes where Ari launches into action, you could almost hear him laughing “muahahahaha” in his head as the tables turn in his favor. I wonder if he’ll have the nerve to actually punish Lloyd when he gets the chance, or if he’ll show mercy to his once loyal assistant in the end. Looks like Lloyd could be out of a job, especially since his only client just decided to call it quits – but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Johnny Drama shows up for the Melrose audition and learns that not only is the director someone he formerly had beef with, but also that he’s not the only one auditioning for the role. The Dean Cain cameo was amusing, but not nearly as amusing at the David Faustino appearance – Drama’s buddies on the show have been a priceless parade of Hollywood has-beens. First Ralph Macchio, now Bud Bundy, I love it. Too bad Drama launches into a panic attack that causes him to wet his pants and land in the hospital. The doctor tells Drama that he didn’t have a heart attack but rather had complications from stress that could eventually lead to a heart attack, and that’s all Drama needs to hear before he stops to reassess his life. When Lloyd tells him he has managed to get Drama a “do over” for his audition fiasco, Drama breaks the news that he is taking some indefinite time off to examine his priorities. Sounds like the death knell for Drama’s career, if you ask me.

Vince did virtually nothing this episode except pick up a girl at E’s doctor’s office and then rescue Drama from his botched audition. Lately his character is only good for a 2 minute scene of him engaged in some random sexual position and a few lines of dialogue, which is a damn shame. They should be utilizing Adrian Grenier a better way, but I think next week’s Matt Damon cameo will be entertaining and maybe next season we’ll even see Vince shoot an actual movie again. Isn’t he supposed to be an actor? That’s it for this week; I think they did a nice job of bringing the action to a fever pitch in the last few episodes. Good thing Vince’s next movie is a car racing flick, because strap on your seatbelts for next week’s finale, something tells me it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

For another take on this episode, read Scared Straight by Tanya Lane.

Season 6, Episode 11: Scared Straight (originally aired September 27, 2009)

For more Entourage, click here.

Sundays at 10pm ET/PT on HBO

Photographs courtesy of HBO and IMDbPro

Dollhouse: Welcome (Back) To The Dollhouse

Much revered – but often thwarted – television wunderkind Joss Whedon’s latest effort, Dollhouse, defied the odds and began its second season last night, in spite of less-than-stellar ratings and ambivalence from critics and fans. Dolllhouse is a show that’s high on cleverness, intriguing themes and action, but low on generating emotional involvement with the characters. That’s what I felt last season, and last night’s second season premiere didn’t change my mind. The problem remains that, when your protagonist changes personalities and essentially becomes a new “person” each week, it’s quite difficult to connect with her, because there is no continuous through line, no evolution, no journey to go on with her. Each week, you’re starting at ground zero once again.

Whedon has claimed that this season will solve that problem by emphasizing that top doll Echo is starting to retain bits and pieces of the memories and points of view of all of the personalities that have been programmed into her. This is a direct result of last season’s finale, in which Echo was abducted by Alpha, who proceeded to upload every single one of her past personalities into her brain at once, a massive overload. The question is, does this actually make Echo a real, goal-oriented protagonist that we can watch evolve from week to week? That vote ain’t in yet, folks.

The new premiere is a very dense, plot-heavy affair that follows Echo as she embarks on two engagements at the same time. Her main assignment is to be the young bride of a big arms dealer named Martin. But her true engagement is to function as an undercover agent, looking for evidence to take Martin down. She is working for Ballard, who has been trying to take down Martin ever since he was a hot shot agent. Of course, last season Ballard was the federal agent obsessed with proving the existence of the Dollhouse corporation and then taking it down. But if you can’t beat ‘em, you have to join ‘em, and that’s what he did. He is now working for the Dollhouse, but manager/head of operations Adelle DeWitt has no illusions that Ballard is not working an angle. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, as they say.  But though Echo is working for Ballard, Ballard isn’t her handler. DeWitt is trying to rectify this.

Like on any (television) undercover mission, things inevitably go wrong. Due to some technical glitches and fragmentation and some plain old bad luck, Echo’s cover gets blown and Ballard has to find a way to extract her before she gets killed. This is where the aforementioned cleverness comes into play, and it is rather intriguing watching Ballard and Echo try to complete such a volatile mission. It doesn’t hurt that we get some great fight scenes, a car chase and an explosion. Those are three of my favorite things in the world.

However, I have no idea why Dewitt is allowing Ballard to use Echo in this way. Maybe they explained it and it just went over my head. But that’s the point, the show can be really murky and hard to follow. Every character has an agenda and you don’t quite know who to trust. That’s both interesting and disconcerting at the same time. I think Dollhouse could really benefit from a little more narrative clarity and streamlining.

There are intimations of a new character, a politician, who threatens the Dollhouse. The other big thread in this episode involves Dr. Saunders, who was shocked to discover in the first season finale that she was a doll too. There are some really high-caliber scenes between her and the head tecchie/programmer guy Topher. Saunders hates Topher with a passion, but she can’t even trust her own feelings because she thinks they aren’t real, that every component of her personality was programmed. Indeed, Topher did program her, but he reveals that he made her the type of person that would question him and stick to her guns…whether they were hers or not. He also tells her that he didn’t “program” her to hate him, that she made that decision all on her own. All of this is emblematic of the most interesting theme that Dollhouse explores, the notion of whether or not free will is really free or not.

In closing, here’s what I’ll say: the acting on the show is really exceptional. Eliza Dushku has a really hard role to play, because she is not only the protagonist, but must play a new character every episode, and often more than one character at the same time. She has to be able to show an impossible number of sides and personality quirks, while still making you believe that somewhere underneath all of that there is a real human being struggling to survive. It’s a very impressive piece of acting. Likewise, Amy Acker as Saunders gives a frantic, frazzled and heartbreaking performance, and Olivia Williams is all steely efficiency as DeWitt. These performers are worth watching. The show however, while I admire it, still doesn’t get my full endorsement, and I highly doubt it will last another season. You could certainly do worse on a Friday night though.

Season 2, Episode 1:  Vows (originally aired September 25, 2009)

For more on Dollhouse, click here.

Fridays at 9/8C on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

Grey’s Anatomy: Good Mourning; Goodbye

Time to re-up the tissues.  Grey’s Anatomy kicked off the new fall season with two full, separate episodes. The recurring theme is grief, as Seattle Grace copes with the loss of George O’Malley.

The season finale ended with George and Izzie fighting for their lives. Well, Izzie made it and George did not.  Callie, having been married to George, takes it the hardest. However, they each experience grief in varying degrees.  In general, most of the characters are pretty irreverent, which I find annoying.  McSteamy asks Lexie what she saw in George, since he wasn’t exactly the best-looking guy around. What an ass. There was nothing wrong with George. Sure he wasn’t a heart throb like McDreamy or McSteamy, but he certainly wasn’t ugly. Anyway, George will be missed.  The other residents are barely allowed a breather before the Chief is hurrying them back to work.  I know they all have jobs to do and have lives to save, be he could’ve given them one minute to compose themselves. Instead they mope through the rest of the episode, fighting back tears.

As I said, Izzie survived.  For every moment of grief, there was a moment of heartlessness in the premier episode. Alex is understandably traumatized by almost losing Izzie, but he manifests it by being unsympathetic to her grief. He is impatient when she can’t give him the attention he needs. Ultimately they find a way to achieve some normalcy by the end of the episode, but their relationship is definitely a work in progress.

One storyline from last season involved Seattle Grace’s drop in the national rankings, and the Chief’s desire to return the hospital to prominence.  His failure to do so has now placed his job in jeopardy, and the Board is looking to replace him with Derek.  Derek tries to give him a head’s up, but is also seriously considering the offer.  The Chief isn’t handling the stress well, and attempts to cut corners at the expense of good patient care.  When Arizona and Alex need additional testing to determine why a teenage boy is experiencing excruciating growing pains, the Chief refuses.  He also loses Callie when he fails to adequately explain why she is not getting the promotion she deserves, leading her to find employment at another hospital.

If grief and irreverence are common threads running through the first episode(s), you know Cristina is in the irreverent camp.  She has the easiest time coping with George’s death.  When a young woman who lost 3 limbs in a boating accident suffers from depression, she assigns Lexie to monitor her, because she herself damn sure isn’t going to do it. Furthermore, she privately nicknames the woman “ceviche.”  Maybe the writers think it’s cool to have so many characters be smarmy and sarcastic, but I’m not amused.

The first two episodes obviously picked up where we left off last season and set up the initial conflict for the new season, which I think will be the administrative changes at Seattle Grace and how they affect the inter-personal relationships among the interns and residents.  I look forward to the inevitable emotional ups and downs and excellent writing for which the show is known.

Season 6, Episodes 1-2: Good Mourning; Goodbye (originally aired September 24, 2009)

For more Grey’s Anatomy, click here.

Thursdays 9/8c on ABC

Photographs courtesy of ABC

Project Runway: We’re Off to the Movies

Thanks to pressing the wrong button I saw that Ra’mon gets sent home tonight.  But, taking a page out of the J.J. Abrams empire (since Ra’mon is a Trekkie), let’s jump back to 60 minutes earlier…

Nicolas talks about how he’s okay with throwing Johnny under the bus on a non-team challenge by calling out his shoddy work in the last episode.  Oh and he’s also okay with no one liking him because this is a competition.  Yawn.  Having won the last challenge, Irina has immunity.  Heidi says they are going on a field trip since they’ve been cooped up in the design studio the whole time (really?).  They arrive at a “real Hollywood soundstage” and meet Tim and Collier Strong of L’Oreal Paris.  For this challenge they are to select a film genre and to design an outfit for a character in that genre–as a bonus (for us) they get to create their own characters. (And Tim oddly pronounces the word “genre.”)  Tim draws names,yadda, yadda, yadda, but two of them are assigned to each genre.  They go back and sketch, except that Carol Hannah is distracted by Logan’s hottness.  While she’s drooling, Nicolas is daydreaming in Fantasyland about three queens watching over the universe and residing in Orion’s Belt (actually, those are usually three kings).

Tim’s Take.  He thinks Gordana’s 1920s look is too old and they debate necklines.  Christopher is making a vampire bride in Victorian France and Tim makes a funny (and fun) face at the thought of bare arms in the 1800s. Epperson is very Annie Get Your Gun, which seduces Tim.  Ra’mon’s alien hybrid look could be either “sublime” or “a big hot mess,” per Tim.  He comments to Louise about her subtleties and wants her to push it more so she can start standing out on the runway.  Nicolas and Tim agree that he’s being too safe.  Again Tim is inspired by what they are doing and asks them to look around the room to see which one of them is going home.  Send in the models and Collier while I head to the kitchen for a refill.

While I’m gone, I overhear that Ra’mon is going to start from scratch with only two hours left.  This will not bode well.  Louise cuts herself and is getting more attention than usual so I suspect this means she’ll finally stand out from the crowd.  And wait, a streak of hair just ran across the screen.  I think it’s Nicolas.  Anyway, let’s cut to the runway.

Runway.  Heidi introduces our judges for the week: Designer John Varvatos, Zoe Glassner (Marie Claire), and Oscar-nominated (Walk the Line) costume designer Arianne Phillips–oh she should be fun with the Western folks.  So what did I like: Irina and her classic film noir feel.  Shirin is very The Best Little Whorehouse.  Christopher’s is a more modern period people.  Nicolas’s model looks like she belongs in the Ice Capades.  Epperson’s western outfit reminded me of Sharon Stone in The Quick and the Dead or maybe something from Firefly.  And then Gordana’s golden flapper look, nice but nothing special.

Judges’ Review.  We begin with Gordana; they like it but it’s not memorable, but we learn that Zoe’s great-grandmother was a flapper.  Nicolas talks about his ice queen’s story and I’ll pause to note that his story is NOT science fiction but rather fantasy; anyway, they love it and I’m disappointed.  Louise explains that her design is supposed to be a design in a design or something; I’m confused but they all think it looks cheap.  Christopher apologizes in advance for historical inaccuracies and then talks about vampire weddings–I don’t remember that in history class, but what do I know?  But they all like it and I agree.  For Ra’mon and his character Lola (she’s a showgirl!) and it just sounds like an extra in V; they don’t like it and think it looks like a child’s project.  Ouch.  We end with Epperson and his character who’s husband is going off to war (which war we don’t know) but it goes over well.

Results.  Gordana and Epperson are in.  Nicolas is the winner and I shout out “WTF” at my television.  Christopher (“Good job”–i.e., this was close) is in.  Ra’mon’s design was a home designed mess and Louise should have used more drama to avoid being a “snoozefest.”  Ra’mon is out.  Louise is safe.  Next week: Team challenge!

I liked this episode and the challenge.  Unlike in past years, I think there’s some serious talent and competition this year and it’s only getting better each week.  Still, I miss Nina and Kors.  Blurgh!

For another take on this episode, read The Attack of the Big Hot Mess by Jaimie Campos.

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 6, Episode 6: Lights, Camera, Sew!(originally aired September 24, 2009)

For more on Project Runway, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm EST on Lifetime

Photographs courtesy of IMDbPro

Project Runway: The Attack of the Big Hot Mess

After last week’s welcome elimination of Johnny, we’re down to the final eleven. At this point, everyone remaining is creative and talented and I’ll be sorry to see any of them leave.

I should point out now: I’m a fan of Nicolas because he’s so ridiculous with his opinions and judgments – even though he inappropriately called out Johnny on the runway last week (hilariously wrong!). He just criticizes everyone else as if he’s designing groundbreaking fashion – how funny is he? I also like Gordana but only because her accent reminds me in a comforting way of my hairdresser, but my absolute favorite is Carol Hannah. Unfortunately for CH, my endorsement is usually a curse, so let’s see how long she lasts before Heidi asks her to pack her knives. Er, scissors.

Ra’mon talks about the elevation of the contest now that Johnny Drama is gone and Gordana is starting to show signs of stress. Everyone thinks that the challenges will become tougher, as if they’ve never seen this show before and they’re clueing us into some behind-the-scenes insight.

The designers meet Tim and Collier Strong on a Hollywood sound stage to present the challenge: Create a look inspired by one of five movie genres – action adventure, sci-fi, period piece, film noir and western. Tim draws names out of his velvety bag and one by one people choose their genres (with two chances per genre). Epperson and Shirin are called last and are left with Western, because nobody in their right minds would choose that. The designers have $150 and one day to complete their look. They must create a story to accompany their outfits.

Collier expounds a bit about this being a make-up challenge as well, and L’Oreal blah blah blah – with the show’s move to Lifetime, we’ve added too much cross promotion with L’Oreal. And I will take it out on Collier where appropriate.

And so: CH and Logan: Action adventure. Ra’mon and Nicolas: Sci-fi. Shirin and Epperson: Western. Christopher and Gordana: Period piece. Irina, Louise, and Barbie: Film noir.

Immediately, I like Ra’mon more because he’s an old school Trekkie and on his design notes writes “Borg” and “Predator.” I’d never have pegged him for a Star Trek fan. Epperson and Shirin struggle with ideas, and CH reveals a crush on Logan, while Logan reveals he feels a connection with CH. Don’t let love distract you, girl! Nicolas is a daydreamer and has experience in the costume industry. Louise and her personal style should have an edge in the film noir genre, and Irina’s feeling obnoxiously confident in her abilities.

A bobbin stealer seems out to sabotage Louise. Nicolas is “worried” for Louise because she doesn’t have a story for her outfit/character and she really needs to know what her point of view is. Which is so wrong, because Louise is all about vintage aesthetic and has designed amazing pieces. CH interviews that the tension in the workroom is escalating.  Meanwhile, Ra’mon thinks he’s creating an amazing reptilian hybrid jumpsuit. I don’t understand his deal with jumpsuits.

Tim Time. He likes Christopher’s 19^th Century vampire bride, but thinks it’s too modern. He also likes Epperson’s “Annie Get Your Gun”-esque quality and the layers of ruffles. I have to say, I love it, too. Ra’mon’s green snakeskin leather jumpsuit will either “be sublime or it could be a big hot mess.” He loves Louise’s subtlety and nuance, but he warns her that those details never transfer to the runway. He advises Nicolas to exaggerate the look of his white villainess dress.

Nicolas “worries” about Ra’mon because his outfit is more Godzilla than beautiful, weird woman. Irina, also a judgmental one, doesn’t see Gordana in Bryant Park.

During model fitting, Ra’mon has second thoughts (because jumpsuits never work, Ra’mon! Unless you’re Epperson), and decides to start from scratch with two hours left. I do give credit to all of these designers for one thing: in previous seasons we haven’t seen people entirely scrap their concepts and start over halfway through the time limit. People have done that repeatedly this season, so in a way, it’s kind of amazing that most of them have been able to pull it off.  Ra’mon guesses he’ll end up in the middle.

We see people in various stages of worry and stress, and then it’s off to…

The Runway! Guest judges: John Varvatos and Zoe Glassner (oh enough, Zoe) and film costume designer Arianne Phillips. I’m seriously not happy with the continued disappearance of Michael Kors. WTH?

All in all, I enjoyed every outfit, with Barbie’s being the weakest. But you decide! (Well, you and the judges.)

Irina: Beautiful but safe. CH: Sexy, fun. Shirin: Hokey. Christopher: Gorgeous, modern. Nicolas: Very pretty. Barbie: Boring. Ra’mon: Couture sci-fi? Louise: Pretty. Epperson: Very, very cool. Gordana: Beautiful, but not very original. Logan: Safe.

Safe: Logan, CH, Shirin, Barbie, Irina.

The judges say that though Gordana’s dress reveals great skill and detail, they don’t see her point of view, or “Gordana.” They love Nicolas’s character and design. The material is a little cheap, but it will “photograph beautifully.” Zoe calls it “clever” and “risky.” He’s gracious, naturally. Louise’s story and dress are “a convoluted mess.” Zoe is bored. Well, we’re bored with you, Zoe. Varvatos sounds asleep when he says “it doesn’t come across special at all….the detail doesn’t read.” Ouch. Christopher’s dress is well done and elegant, while also being modern and “wow factor”-ish. Ra’mon takes a beating for his new dress, with it looking “shoddily made,” and “a little bit like a school project” and “a hot green mess.” It doesn’t show off his skill. Epperson’s dress is “fabulous” and creative, with a “contemporary value.”

Over deliberation it’s more of the same, with Louise just ripped to shreds and Ra’mon only less so. Line them back up and Nicolas wins! What? I thought it was all Christopher. I would have chosen him, absolutely, but he’s safe too, so … okay. Epperson and Gordana are also safe. Between Ra’mon and Louise, Ra’mon goes home. Wait, what again? I thought for sure it would be Louise. She hasn’t stood out much this season with the judges while they’ve loved more of Ra’mon’s work. In theory, the judges deliberate based on the individual challenge, not taking into account previous work. But still…was his couture-ish look that terrible up close? Not that I mind – I like Louise and think she adds a nice, different aesthetic to the competition – but color me surprised, judges!

Next week: A team challenge and Kors returns! It’s about damn time.

For another take on this episode, read We’re off to the Movies! by J.B. Perlow.

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 6, Episode 6: Lights, Camera, Sew!(originally aired September 24, 2009)

For more on Project Runway, click here.

Thursdays at 10pm EST on Lifetime

Photographs courtesy of IMDbPro

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell: There Are No Words

Tucker Max is an a**hole. He’s repugnant, he thinks that fat girls aren’t real people, and his life goal is to nail midgets (I’m sorry, “little people”) and disabled chicks – which should make me hate him, but it doesn’t. I’m not sure what it says about the quality of my own personal character, but I find Max’s antics hysterical and his vile humor to be supremely entertaining, or at least they were in the book version of “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.” The main complaints I’ve heard in reviews of this movie are that Max is a complete D-bag (duly noted, moving right along…) and that the book is way better than the movie. Duh, books are usually better than their movie adaptations, but that doesn’t mean they’re not entertaining.

The movie centers around Tucker Max: unabashed womanizer, shameless drunk and all-around poor excuse for a human being – but at least he admits it. Max, played by Matt Czuchry, opens the film by banging a deaf girl, and ends it by trying to bang a blind girl. So much for character growth.  Max decides to take his buddies Drew (Jesse Bradford) and Dan (Geoff Stults) to a mythical legendary strip club (think Disney Land, with g-strings) 3 hours away for Dan’s bachelor party. Never mind the fact that Dan’s fiancée, played by Keri Lynn Pratt, did not want him to go on the testosterone-themed road trip. Side note: all females are viewed and portrayed as nagging and shrewish and generally only good for one thing in all of Max’s writings, so this plot line is hardly a deviation. Dan’s character is whipped, and Drew’s character takes woman-hating to new levels, after his own fiancée was caught servicing a rapper in their living room and he subsequently relegates all females into the ‘lying cheating worthless opportunistic whores’ category. Charming. The trio’s antics on the road and while at the strip club become the crux of the whole movie, and what ensues is a level of degeneracy that knows virtually no bounds. Drew meets his match in the form of a video game-loving stripper whose insult hurling actually becomes endearing to him (since he hates everyone anyway), and Dan…well, Dan has a rough night – I won’t spoil it for you, I promise.

Max’s own antics don’t jump from “offensive” to “completely over the top” until the following weekend, when he shows up for Dan’s wedding and learns that he is persona non grata. Let’s just say that if you don’t enjoy bathroom humor and you’re not a fan of being shown explicit and graphic details of someone else’s gastrointestinal issues, you will probably find an entire 15 minute section of this movie extremely uncomfortable to watch. At least I did, I’m gagging just thinking about it even now.  Because it’s a movie, they try to make it seem like Max learns a valuable lesson (he doesn’t) and changes his ways (nope, still an a**hole). I’ll admit I own the book “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell” and I thoroughly enjoyed it when I read it – but it’s been a while so I didn’t remember all of his anecdotes and I’m sure there are things that they should’ve included from the book but couldn’t make work on film. I just think that certain stories and sentiments are better played out on the page, and say what you want about Max but the guy is a decent writer, though the movie isn’t able to fully deliver on his talents.

However, I was amused by the casting in this film. I expected Geoff Stults to be literally a walking, talking robot with a strong jaw line. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not winning an Oscar in this lifetime, but he exceeded my expectations – which, let’s be clear, were that he would completely flatline on screen. I say this because (I can’t believe I’m admitting this) I remember him from “7th Heaven” where he and his brother were out-acted by shrubbery, so the bar was set unbelievably low (I know, I watched 7th Heaven, I’ll go kill myself now…). Additionally, Matt Czuchry played a real prick on “Gilmore Girls”, and he pulled off the Tucker Max snark fairly well, so I think it’s fair to say that he’s cornered the whole “a**hole market.” He’s like that Cobra Kai from the Karate Kid movies or James Spader in Pretty in Pink – those guys made a career out of being hated.

Over all, I’d say that this film was amusing – but I say that as a Tucker Max fan and someone who was familiar with his book and blog, so take it for what it’s worth. Was it as good as “The Hangover”? No way. Is it going to solidify Tucker Max’s place among Hollywood screen writers? Probably not. But, will it make you laugh, shake your head in disgust and generally appreciate that we all have ‘that friend’ who is our very own Tucker Max? Yes. I, for one, am happy that my friends’ degeneracy switches are set to a 5 instead of the solid 11.5 that Max steadily occupies, but it’s certainly amusing to watch play out. You could probably save this one for a DVD rental and be justified in your thinking, but if you’re a midget aficionado or a boob guy (aren’t they all?) this one’s definitely a must-see.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs: A Tasteful Buffet

For those not familiar with the children’s book, this is the story of local inventor Flint Lockwood (Bill Hader) of Swallow Falls and his crazy inventions.  One day he creates a machine that converts water into food, but he accidentally launches it into the atmosphere above the island town.  The town that’s written off Flint as a weirdo changes its tune as food starts raining down from the sky.  Through the various gastronomical weather events, Flint falls in love with reporter Sam Sparks (Anna Faris) and gains the admiration of the whole town.  But like with all of Flint’s inventions, nothing good lasts forever.

While a simple story, Cloudy works for all ages, with jokes easy enough for the kids to follow and more sophisticated humor that neither panders to adults nor is eye roll worthy (thank you, Shrek).  The story flowed and held my interest even in the slow parts.  Of the vocal talent, I’ll note only Mr. T‘s performance as police officer Earl Devereaux (unknown relation to Blanche) as the role was clearly written with Mr. T in mind.  The rest were fine but probably could have been done by anyone, particularly when James Caan as Flint’s father and Neil Patrick Harris as Flint’s monkey were mostly unrecognizable.  Still, admirable work by all, and with animation that still managed to impress (check out the realistic work with liquids).

And now a parting rant: I’ve said this before but why oh why are recent animated films (even Monsters v. Aliens) better than most live-action?  It’s pathetic!  Perhaps it’s lowered expectations or perhaps I have a child-like mentality (quiet, Campos), but still, entertainment is entertainment.  And Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs was a great 90 minutes of entertainment.  So what does this mean for you?  It means you can go see a great movie and be in and out in no time.  And yes, I think Cloudy is worth paying full price in the theater, it was that much fun.

But speaking of children’s movies with appeal to adults, the more I see previews for Where the Wild Things Are the more I think it looks amazing but I still have no desire to see that.  What’s the deal?

Glee: Yes We Cane!

We begin with Kurt recording a video in a creepy slim-fitting outfit lip syncing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies,” while doing the dance with two other girls.  It’s both amazing and disturbing but, like all accidents, you have to keep watching.  That is until Kurt’s father comes home early to watch Deadliest Catch.  Kurt quickly explains his unitard is what guys now wear to workout, “for football,” one of the girls adds.  The other one doesn’t help things by saying Kurt’s the new kicker on the team.  In response to which one of the girls is his girlfriend, Kurt slaps one of their behinds; his father heads back from Kurt’s basement bedroom, telling Kurt he wants a ticket to his first game.  I guess that means Kurt’s got to get on the football team now.

We cut to Will (after waffling, I’ve decided to just call him Will and not “Mr. Schu”) and Terri practicing her breathing in advance of labor.  Terri’s sister wants Will to be tougher as it will help get the watermelon-sized baby out of her “boy howdy.”  Before she can show Will how to rub the gas bubbles out of Terri’s stomach, Terri shoos Will out of the room.  You see, Will doesn’t know that Terri isn’t really pregnant.  But she tells her sister the truth and her sister puts another bad idea in her head: continue the charade and find a baby.

At school, Will is stuck sitting with the Ken and Emma.  They share that on the recent local news, Cheerios coach Sue advocated the caning of children so we’ll get clean streets like in Singapore.  Just then Sue walks up to gloat about her new role as a commentator on the local news.  Oh yes, Sue’s busting out of her box.  (How did that clear the censors?)

Let’s head into rehearsal.  Rachel is again making trouble by objecting to Tina getting a solo from West Side Story.  Arty wisely observes that the more times Rachel walks out of rehearsal, the less effective it becomes.  So true!  Kurt pulls Finn aside to ask him a question, but it’s not what Finn thinks (about going to the prom together) because Kurt says he’s not gay (but we know better).  No, Kurt wants help getting on the football team.

At practice, Kurt’s ready for his tryout, or he’s trying to get ready, explaining that his “body is like a warm chocolate souffle.  If [he doesn't] warm it up right, it doesn’t rise.”  And he gets his music and fends off Puck’s taunting.  Coach Ken talks about how lousy their kicker is and offers a challenge to anyone who can do better.  Kurt steps up and hits the play button as “Single Ladies” comes on and he gets into a dance.  Everyone’s too busy laughing to see that his kick is good and Ken welcomes the new kicker to the team.

Quinn’s pregnant and Finn doesn’t know how it could be his since they never . . . you know.  But they were in a hot tub the month before, Finn got overexcited and their swimsuits and the temperature of the water weren’t enough to prevent fertilization.  Either there’s more to this story or we’re really supposed to stretch our imaginations here (and here’s a lengthy discussion of the topic, for you curious folks).  But back to Quinn, who’s distraught now that she thinks her chances of leaving their town are over.

After the manager of her television station tells Sue that she needs to win the championships if she wants to continue at the station, Sue heads to Sandy’s house to hear about his doll collection (and to see his kimono).  Sandy quickly breaks down (and not from the nine cans of aerosol whipped cream he ate yesterday) and Sue jumps in to offer him the position of school arts administrator which will let him control glee club once again.  Sandy has his doubts about Figgins allowing it but we cut to Sue showing Figgins footage of him advertising anti-embolism stockings for Mumbai Air.  She threatens to circulate the footage.  And with that, Sandy is in!

His first task is to get Rachel out of glee, accomplished by having her audition with Celine Dion for the school’s musical, knowing she won’t resist.  And when she gets the lead, Will objects to Sandy’s return and the theft of his best singer.  Will appeals to Rachel; she’s not quitting but looking for a reason to stay–everyone has one but she doesn’t.

At rehearsal, Tina is practicing her solo of “Tonight” but she can’t hit the high notes and wants to give the song to Rachel over Will’s pride.  In walks Finn who breaks down crying before he and Will go to a salad bar to discuss his impending fatherhood.  And for the second time, the question of abortion comes up (why is that the default option?!?), but I digress.  The topic shifts to Finn thinking the football team can get better if Will teaches them how to dance–it’s like the Superbowl Shuffle or something.  Finn thinks it’s a strategy to help recruit more guys to glee club, you know, in exchange for Will helping them win.  That night, Will tells Terri about the pregnancy and we can see Terri coming up with her own strategy to get that baby as her own.

Cut to the locker room where Will and Finn are trying to convince the team to adopt the dancing technique.  Puck’s the loudest naysayer but Coach Ken supports the plan and sends the team off the choir room.  Kurt takes over and walks them through the steps of “Single Ladies” before they break for the day.  Finn tells Puck that Quinn’s pregnant and we cut to Puck telling Quinn that he thought she was a virgin when they did it and that she never slept with Finn.  I knew you can’t get pregnant that way!  Anyway, she doesn’t want Puck to be the father because he’s a “Lima loser,” even though Puck doesn’t want to be a deadbeat father.  Quinn runs out crying to find Terri in her car, offering to help Quinn out of this situation, and not just with free bottles of prenatal vitamins.

Game night!  Will sits next to Emma, while Ken’s in back selecting which whistle he’ll use for the game.  Finn tries to give a nice pep talk while Puck talks about how he made the team “gay.”  What will Finn do?  They break and the game begins.  We see Kurt’s father arrive (And Kurt’s jumping for joy over it all).  We’re down to the end of the fourth quarter with the score at 0-6.  Finn signals for a timeout with one second left on the clock, calls the team over and says he’s doing the dance play so he won’t be a “Lima loser” (I guess that’s a term there).  The team agrees and I’m not sure how they’re going to do this in one second, but they signal for the music and the dancing begins!  Surely, this is against the rules.

Everyone’s confused but I’m just laughing and wishing this would happen at the football games I attend.  In the confusion, they score a touchdown and tie the game up.  Will and Emma embrace and then push each other away (you know, that sexual tension and all).  All this means is Kurt is up for the kick and to “die a legend” (only without a bathroom break).  He cues the music again, the kick is good (i.e., they win), and the crowd (including Kurt’s father) goes wild.  Finn and Quinn make out as Puck looks on with anger and jealousy.

That night, Kurt’s father interrupts his nighttime skincare ritual to say that he’s proud of what he did at the game.  Kurt uses this time to tell his father that he’s gay.  There’s no surprise here as his father’s known since Kurt was three, and it all ends on a touching note.  (For more on the development of this character, check out this article.)

On the other hand, we have Finn giving Quinn the baby blanket he used as a child and this is not going to end well.  Just then, Puck walks over to make taunting comments about morning sickness and Quinn putting on weight.  He apologizes and walks off.  We next see Puck (and two others from the football team) walking in as the newest members of the glee club, but Will isn’t giving Rachel the solo–it’s staying with Tina.  Rachel walks out (again) and tells Sandy she’s in for the lead in the musical.  All of this is set to Sue’s latest commentary about how to deal with life’s adversities.  And that, my friends, is how J.B. C’s it.

Next week, Emmy-award winning actress Kristin Chenoweth (Pushing Daisies) guest stars!  Meanwhile, consider the following discussion topic: I, for one, am intrigued by the parallel pregnancy stories of Will and Finn and how both are nice guys being manipulated by the women in their lives.  Is this a commentary on nice guys or a poor view of women?  Discuss.

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 1, Episode 4: Preggers (originally aired September 23, 2009)

For more on Glee, click here.

Wednesdays at 9pm on Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

Fringe: Night of Desirable Objects

Fringe’s second episode returns to the show’s creepy roots, and it’s about time, because I was starting to worry after a lackluster season opener. But with NoDO, the writers find the balance they seldom found last season, as they tell a good solo story, progress the larger story initiated last week, advance the show’s overall mythology, and scare the hell out of us.

That’s a lot to expect, right? But that’s why we watch! Peter, Doc and Exposition quietly continue their research about Olivia’s hour long disappearance during the car crash, and Doc reposits his earlier alternate universe theory in case anyone’s joining us who hasn’t watched season one. The DVDs are out, people, go get them. Or read about them here! Is that too shameless self-promotion? Doc also tells us that there are consequences to visiting an alternate dimension, which segues into…

Nina Sharp shows up during Olivia’s physical, and that’s one of the creepiest moments of the night. Was there really no better time for her to visit? She gives Olivia the name of Sam Weiss, a man who “helped put [Nina] back together” (after her cancer) and then she disappears. Seriously, creepy.

But the other creepiness is this week’s main story, a missing persons case in rural Pennsylvania. Peter involves the Fringe-ettes because he thinks it might be related to Olivia’s disappearance – only none of these people ever reappear. It’s a weak connection, but it’ll do. Now, it’s not the most original story because we’ve seen this done before, but here, Fringe does the evil baby thing pretty well. There are creepy scarecrows, a dead woman who actually had lupus (but it’s never lupus!), and a dead newborn baby who should never have been born. So many directions to go with this, but what we have is this: Dr. Andre Hughes alters the DNA of his wife’s fetus in order to allow her to carry the baby and give birth despite her lupus – in essence, he creates a mutant. He loses his wife and son during childbirth and buries them both. Only to realize that his son has mutated into a monster who burrows out of his casket and creates a tunnel system below the town. Ever see The Descent? Because the kid looks like those monsters only with bigger teeth and dark, muddy and bloody skin. Have I used the word creepy yet? It was freaky as hell in The Descent, and it’s freaky as hell here. The baby … or seventeen year old kid, depending on how you look at it – snatches people from the surface and eats them. Ultimately, Peter and Olivia uncover the gory madness, land in the tunnels below the Hughes home, and nearly let the kid escape in their horror. In an ironic twist of fate, the kid burrows into the wrong spot and ends up crushed by the sheriff’s car. This is little comfort to the sheriff, since he was the last one eaten.

While this main story unfolds, Olivia develops more superpowers. Hey, remember when she could stop a bomb with her mind? That’s okay, nobody else on the writing staff or this show remembers either. This week, Olivia realizes her sense of hearing has increased by a power of about 100. She can hear a fly in a room, breathing on another floor of a house, and a cell phone conversation outside of the building. She doesn’t seem to have any real control over it. She decides to visit Nina Sharpe’s mysterious Sam Weiss, a bowling alley owner who can guess your shoe size on sight. He also asks Olivia if the headaches have started yet. Uh oh.

And then there’s Charlie Francis, aka the shapeshifter. He communicates with his bosses on the Other Side, informing them that he’s trusted by Olivia and awaits further instructions. “They” demand that he find a way to make Olivia remember her experience. Cue the foreshadowing music.

Of note:

“Night of Desirable Objects” refers to a night-fishing lure. Peter tells the story of a boy who created one to lure his distracted father into going fishing with him. Assuming Peter is telling the story about himself, Doc doesn’t recognize his role as the absentee father. Because Doc is absent-minded, or because that story applies to Other Side Doc?

What are the chances that this Olivia we’re watching isn’t actually our Olivia? I know it’s pretty slim, but a couple of her reactions seem a little off. Which, knowing this show, could all be because of the writing.

What was with the painting in Olivia’s exam room? Just me?

Who is Charlie Francis reporting to on the Other Side? William Bell? An alternate version of one of our characters?

So, a disappointing start last week, followed by a much stronger second episode. Here’s me keeping my fingers crossed that Fringe keeps heading in the right direction. Stay tuned!

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

For another take on this episode, read Attack of the C.H.U.D. by Paul Secrest

Season 2, Episode 2: Night of Desirable Objects  (originally aired September 24, 2009)

For more on Fringe, click here.

Thursdays at 9/8C, Fox

Photographs courtesy of Fox and IMDbPro

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