30 Rock: The People’s Gaypublic of Drugaphornia

So, that new cast member they keep talking about bringing onto TGS had better materialize soon, because I’m starting to doubt Jack’s sincerity on this. But in the meantime, Fey and co. are squeezing as much comedy out of the anticipation as possible.

This week’s 30 Rock follows Liz and Jack to Kenneth’s hometown of Stone Mountain, Georgia, where Jack is convinced they’ll find a local comedian who will appeal to real America. Liz persists in arguing that all America is real America, that chuckle sandwiches taste just as good as Italian subs, and the like (and no, I’m not explaining “chuckle” to those who didn’t see the episode; look it up if you want to know (but trust me, you really don’t)). Jack, though, is convinced that people in the South are better, purer, than liberal, elite, Jewish New Yorkers. He finds a run-of-the-mill Stone Mountain anti-woman ventriloquist, played by an apparently famous actual ventriloquist, and hires him to star on TGS (with a black fella). Things spiral downward when the dummy starts sassing Liz (really pretty harshly in my view) and Jack feels compelled to decapitate said dummy in Liz’s honor (and in defense of his own head size). Fortunately for us all, the ventriloquist will not be joining the TGS cast.

Back at the office, Jenna is trying various techniques, including arson and Mrs. Fields cookies, to get the TGS writers to like her more than the not-yet-existent new cast member. This leads her, Frank, Lutz, and Toofer (and Jenna’s friends Sasha, Michael, and Gay Michael) into an absurd circular scenario that results in them all throwing a big gay Halloween party in the studio, complete with costumes and hot girls in bikinis. And poor Tracy is terrified, not just because it’s Princeton Parents’ Weekend, but because the inspiration for Pac-Man and a famous clog dancer/Huffington Post blogger have just died, and the rule of threes is clearly out to get him. Neither an awesomely sassy Betty White (boo!) nor an awesomely clueless Jimmy Fallon (whoops, I mean Queen Latifah’s Friend) shows any signs of keeling over soon, but before Tracy and his hammer can take matters into their own hands, that ventriloquist dummy gets decapitated and Tracy is saved.

Well, that’s a relief. See you next week. In the meantime, keep refreshing. Maybe Andy Dick has died in the last twenty seconds.

Other things we learned this week:

• A gentleman, whether he’s human or somehow more than human, does not speak to a lady like that.
• From Peanut to President is on shelves now! (But apparently not in the Borders windows of that Sex Criminal Boat up there along the Hudson.)
• All anyone really wants in this life is to sit and eat a sandwich.
• The island is just Hurley’s dream.

Lines that I would really like to use in my day-to-day life, if I lived in a parallel universe where I had Tina Fey’s wit:

• Are we cowabunga on this?
• Canada? Why not just go to Iraq!
• I will eat a bowl of cherries and some ghost meat in his honor.
• Lemon, to the Kia Sorrento!

Season 4, Episode 3: Stone Mountain (originally aired October 29, 2009)

For more on 30 Rock, click here.

Thursdays at 9:30/8:30C on NBC

Photographs courtesy of NBC Universal