America’s Next Top Model: Dance With Me

And we’re back! Ashley laments about her spot in the bottom two. If Ashley weren’t complaining about something, I can’t imagine what else she’d have to talk about. We glimpse a brief moment of unseen footage, as apparently, Nigel pointed out to Nicole during judging that she talks like a stoner. The implication is that this is unattractive in a model. She claims that she “cannot” change the inflection in her voice.

Also this week, a new villain emerges! Kara bitches about “awkward and slow” Nicole who makes a fool out of herself whenever she speaks. Kara’s cattiness seems a little mean-spirited, considering we’re talking about Nicole here. I mean, the girl’s a stoner! Right, Nigel? Kara spends an inordinate amount of time interviewing about her dislike of Nicole.

But it’s teach and challenge time! The girls meet Benny Ninja in a dance studio. Ashley starts congratulating herself on the win before they’ve even heard the challenge. Benny introduces Lil’ Mama to the girls as a dancer and choreographer – not as a crazy person who storms Jay-Z’s stage. Then Lil’ Mama introduces the Jabbawockeez who perform a short dance that highlights movements representing happiness, sadness and anger. The girls must perform their own dance in teams of three that represent the same emotions. Presumably, this will teach them how to model with their bodies, not just their faces. The winners will receive $17,000 worth of jewelry.

Team Two of Brittany, Sundai and Kentucky works well together, but Team One of Jennifer, Kara and Rae brings the most enthusiasm. Ashley the Dancer leads her team of Nicole and Erin, and she wants to incorporate dances such as salsa. It’s like a five minute performance, and Ashley takes this whole thing way too seriously. I realize it’s for a lot of jewelry, but what does she think the judges are expecting here?

The girls all mock each other’s performances, but ultimately, it is Team One who wins the Rhonda Faber Green jewelry. They scream like five year olds. I can’t hate them for the screaming though, because that’s what I did when the Jabbawockeez showed up on last week’s previews. In case you haven’t picked it up, I love me some Jabbawockeez!

But moving on. Back at the house, Ashley disses her teammates and blames them for her loss. She calls her mom for emotional support as she tries to pull herself out of the Funk of Defeat. But that pep talk doesn’t help much during the photo shoot.

But wait – why am I jumping ahead? The girls scream their way to Las Vegas for a photo shoot with Cirque du Soleil. They will take their photos in groups of three with some of the performers – the goal being to stand out while still working with two other models.

Group One: Rae, Jennifer and Brittany. Rae and Brittany both do well while Jennifer “looks crazy.” Jay does a lot of coaching, but she refuses to let it bring her down. Jay says Jennifer fell flat this week.

Group Two: Erin, Sundai and Nicole. Sundai impresses Jay, but Nicole struggles with all of Jay’s critiques. Jay says she wasn’t “amazing,” as she normally is.

Group Three: Kentucky “comes alive,” while Ashley can’t break through despite how well she thinks she did. Kara is “not memorable;” she looked beautiful but faded into the background. This last group walks away, concerned that Jay had no feedback at all for them.

Judging. Guest Judge: Josie Maran. Up first: Brittany, Rae and Jennifer. Brittany looks like “Bride of Frankenstein’s second cousin that is a model.” Rae’s smizing is “genius.” However, Jennifer holds her team back.

Next: Kentucky, Ashley and Kara. Kentucky blows the judges away and looks orgasmic. Ashley looks weak and as though she wasn’t trying. Kara needs to learn to open up and try something silly. Ashley was the weakest of this group.

Finally, Erin, Nicole and Sundai. Nigel doesn’t like Erin’s performance, but Josie and Tyra disagree. Nicole nailed this photo, but most of her film was surprisingly bad, and she dragged down the other girls. Sundai looks powerful, but the rest of her film looked better.

Deliberation means more of the same, so line the models back up! The first photo goes to Group One – Rae, Jennifer and Brittany. Bottom two: Ashley and Kara. Kara relies on her looks without doing any of the work, and Ashley disappoints despite her dancer training. Going home: Ashley. She feels “cut short,” and it “hurts” to be going home. Wow, I can’t believe they’re cutting all the nasty girls. Usually, one villain hangs around all season, but this year, when one goes, another bitch steps up. At least they’re keeping things interesting!

Next week: Go sees already? In America????

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 13, Episode 6: Dance With Me (originally aired October 7, 2009)

For more on America’s Next Top Model, click here.

Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW and Mike Rosenthal