America’s Next Top Model: Interview 101

Or…the One Where Tyra Laughs at Dyslexic People. Oh, I’m sure she wasn’t really laughing, but I maintain this episode was a cruel joke at Kentucky’s expense.

And at our expense. Because this week, we also have the much-hyped visit of Kim Kardashian as guest judge. Is it wrong to hate someone for no reason other than that they make appearances on my favorite shows? Because that’s how I feel about the Kardashians. It’s all fine if they want to do whatever it is they do on the E! network, but first Khloe shows up on CelebApprentice, then Kim shows up here…and why? To pretend to be good at something other than whatever it is they do? (Not that I thought Trump was right in his argument for sending Khloe home, but it would have happened eventually…)

But first! We begin with Rae’s interview, where she talks about how much she loves and misses her daughter. But, remember,  she’s here for the right reasons and wants to win. She’s gung ho about showing off her personality to the judges. It’s a nice little speech: therefore, Rae will go home. Rae’s chunk of interview time combined with last week’s deliberation about “model potential” all but lock her in as this week’s target.

Also in the editors’ spotlight is Erin, who continues the Nicole-hate with comments about how she’s more relatable to average girls than Nicole could be. If average girls are catty bitches who hate anyone who a) is different from them; and b) excels and receives more praise, then yes, Erin is more relatable.

…

Moving on. We learn that Kentucky suffers from severe dyslexia, a condition which caused other kids and teachers to call her stupid. It doesn’t help with that accent but I can’t imagine anyone disliking or having reason to make fun of this girl. We haven’t had anyone as genuinely likeable as Kentucky in a while.

But it’s at the Teach and Challenge that things really heat up. The girls meet Lara Spencer from the Insider and learn the very, very basics of interviewing celebrities. The Challenge portion consists of interviewing Jessica Lowndes (cross promotion!) on the Insider set, with questions provided by teleprompter. Spencer and surprise guest, Ann Shoket, sit in the control booth to watch and judge. Now, what the girls don’t know is that after the first question, the teleprompter will turn to nonsense, challenging the girls to think on their feet.

Everyone does okay, with Jennifer and Erin rocking it like they’ve been doing this for years. Rae is forgettable (I’m paraphrasing the judges’ remarks) and Nicole asks inappropriate questions. Kentucky reads the teleprompter slowly, careful about reading each word. She looks away and when she turns back, she’s faced with nonsense text. There’s confusion, panic, curses, and almost tears. She pulls it together and continues, but she’s flustered by her sudden illiteracy. The editing suggests she might have waited a good five minutes before continuing, but I’m guessing it was closer to 30 seconds. Still a long time for dead air, but the editing is shady here.

The winner: Erin! She chooses Jennifer and Rae to do some Seventeen photo shoot for Christmas.

Allow me a moment to pull out my poorly made soapbox. I don’t take issue with forcing a dyslexic model to read from a teleprompter, as a working model may need to develop this skill. But taking a severely dyslexic person and messing with her head seems cruel and unnecessary. Why couldn’t the screen just go blank? The nonsense symbols and words threw Kentucky into a panicked stupor, not the idea of winging the interview. Kentucky clearly couldn’t decide if she could no longer read at all or if something wasn’t right with the screen.

Despite Tyra’s “ignorance” during panel, I find it hard to believe that Tyra’s entire production team had no idea about Kentucky’s dyslexia. Possibly, Kentucky kept this information to herself, and possibly her interviews where she speaks openly about the disability could have been taped post-challenge so no one knew better. I have a hard time believing these two scenarios, but they’re both possibilities. Even if they are true, the sequence of events doesn’t favor Tyra. The whole challenge reads like a bad joke.

And thank you, I’m putting the soapbox away. Back at the house, Erin feels amazing because she is the challenge winner and therefore, better than everyone else. The model house never lacks for ego, that’s for sure.

This week, the Cover Girl commercial replaces the photo shoot. Each girl must write and memorize her own script. They are encouraged to make the script personal and natural. Erin irks her housemates by finishing hers first, memorizing it, and retiring early. And gloating. Never forget Erin’s habit of gloating.

Nigel Barker arrives to direct the shoot (Jay is there with purple hair, FYI). Nicole surprises everybody, including myself, with a pretty good commercial. She smizes and shows personality. Sundai speaks and moves awkwardly. I keep forgetting about her this week. Jennifer nails the commercial, even if she comes off a little insincere. Speaking of insincere, hello Brittany! Nigel thinks she sounds like a robot, even with (or because of) perfectly memorized lines. Rae delivers a shaky, uneven performance filled with worry. Kentucky stumbles through her commercial as well, and explains how her dyslexia negatively affects her memory. She doesn’t dwell on it and her personality shines through. Finally, Erin arrives on set full of confidence. However, she turns into a tearful mess as she forgets her lines, then cries, then has her make-up reapplied. Repeat that cycle three more times. She also manages a complete take, but can’t hold her smile through the last seconds, and crumbles.

Judging. Guest judge: that Kardashian fool. Don’t make me pull my soapbox back out!

Sundai possesses a car salesman quality – for clarification, this is unattractive. Rae pushes herself, but not far enough and the real Rae didn’t come through. Despite the overacting, the judges love Jennifer’s commercial. They don’t like Nicole as much as I do, but her smizing works in her favor. Kentucky takes a few lumps for her poor commercial, but here Tyra asks for edification on the whole pesky dyslexia thing. Ms. J says that despite all the craziness in her life, she still takes such beautiful pictures. What? The judges hit Brittany up with Robots Don’t Win Modeling Competitions critiques, and Tyra encourages her to use math to make herself accessible. What?? How, exactly, would that work? Finally, there’s Erin, who starts crying on the spot with frustration. Tyra thinks that a moving camera doesn’t love her as much as a still camera.

Over deliberation, Tyra repeats her crazy comment about Brittany turning math into modeling or something, and then we bring the girls back out. Called first: Jennifer. Bottom two: Erin and Rae. Four times with the make-up reapplying, Erin? All those tears, Erin? Meanwhile, Rae is boring. Going home: Rae.

Not a surprise, considering the comments in last week’s deliberation. That, plus Brittany’s Mr. Roboto personality, show her looking good for elimination next round. But all in all, the Insider challenge makes this a pretty terrible episode in my mind.

Next week: Overseas trip?

Listen to The J Factor with J.B. and Jaimie here or on iTunes.

Season 13, Episode 8: Interview 101 (originally aired October 21, 2009)

For more on America’s Next Top Model, click here.

Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW

Photographs courtesy of The CW